LR Out of Control Part III

[AFCnoob]

Summary: Meet a girl at the venue where I work, can't get her home fast enough.

[Rose] Canadian [Rating: objective 6/subjective 6][Age: 23](closed)

Open: introduced by wing
I was dressed up, as I'd come from a photo shoot earlier in the day (don't get the wrong idea, if you're a foreigner in China, and not ugly, someone will eventually want to take professional pictures of you for something or other), I started at one venue: I saw a set of Chinese girls and they did the "hey, look at that guy over there" thing, but I just sat and sipped my drink. When they were leaving, the girl who had eyed me made some excuse to talk to me. She was actually Chinese American (6/6), and I grabbed her number just for the heck of it. I went downstairs and spotted a (7/7) at the bar and chatted to her a bit. She was genuinely funny, but married. I went to leave, but spotted a slightly older (6/7) at the other end of the bar near the door. I chatted with her, she was lukewarm and excused herself to go to the bathroom. When she returned, she struck up a conversation with a friend rather than me. I left.

I went to the venue where I work, I didn't want to be there, but had to be present for a shoot that I had participated in earlier in the day. I was up on the dance floor/stage and introduced myself to everyone present and said a sentence or two, then went upstairs to hang out by myself, because I didn't see anything interesting going on downstairs and I just wasn't feeling it. I saw one girl downstairs who was quite nice looking, but just couldn't muster the energy to talk to her.

I hung out for a bit, and when I went back downstairs, I spotted a friend at the bar. I went up to talk to him, and it turns out he was talking to the girl I'd spotted earlier. [Rose] was quite happy to meet me, and was shooting me IOI's on all bandwidths, she even started touching me playfully right off. I sexual framed and chase framed immediately, with [Rose] practically leaping into each one.

Escalation: easy
She showed me her tats, and I showed her mine, then I kissed her. I suggested we go back upstairs for some privacy. We sat on a couch and I kissed her again, then I nodded my head in the direction of the door and said "let's get out of here". she grabbed her stuff and we left.

Move: automatic
We hopped in a cab, and I took her back to the park near my house. I had no idea why I was taking her back to the park, we sat on a bench and I babbled about some nonsense or other. I realized ashamedly that I was just stalling, because the night was moving too fast...for me.

Close: all too easy
I took [Rose] home and put on some music. She was all over me on my couch and I stopped her "You do know I have a bed, right?" I said jokingly. I took [Rose] to bed, and she was incredibly excited. Again, I was only moderately aroused, but made sure she had a good time. It was just too much...step 1, step 2, step 3, rinse, repeat.

[Interaction Rating]: 9
Textbook. Easy. But only because [Rose] just really wanted me. I wanted to call her, but didn't because I was scheduled to have a date with the "main" girl I was actively pursuing two days later. I felt like scum, but at the same time, I didn't know if this other girl would pan out, and I wanted to have options--at [Rose]'s expense.

It turns out things did pan out with the other girl, but [Rose] had texted me several times wanting to meet up. I ended up sending her a text saying that I was getting serious with a girl I'd known for a while. I felt (and feel) even more like scum, so there's that.

 

[Chase]

Hey AFCnoob,

Just some quick feedback here. Solid pickup, but a little botched at the end on the mishandling of her emotional stuff - some feedback:

I wanted to call her, but didn't because I was scheduled to have a date with the "main" girl I was actively pursuing two days later. I felt like scum, but at the same time, I didn't know if this other girl would pan out, and I wanted to have options--at [Rose]'s expense.

Always call or at least text. Otherwise, you leave girls feeling like they've been pumped and dumped... never a good feeling, except for the pro-ist of pros. All you need is a quick text saying, "Had a great time last night - hope you're able to get a little R&R in today and aren't too tired at work " and you're covered. No duty, no obligation to see her again after that - just a fast message to let her know you still see her as a human being and not as just another conquest.

It turns out things did pan out with the other girl, but [Rose] had texted me several times wanting to meet up. I ended up sending her a text saying that I was getting serious with a girl I'd known for a while. I felt (and feel) even more like scum, so there's that.

Effectively this tells her you found someone better than her; it's a big ego blow. But it's not needed. Friend zone her instead; when she's asking to hang out, tell her you're super busy right now but you're grabbing some drinks with buddies this weekend and she's welcome to come along. Most girls will take the hint and give up the chase. If she persists, you can cancel on the day of and tell her it looks like your friends aren't meeting up after all, but you'll drop her a line the next time everybody's hanging out.

This makes YOU look like a bad guy... you were only in it for the sex, when she wanted a relationship. But if you've got to choose between you being a bad guy, and her being of inferior genetic quality to some other woman you're with now, always opt to take the bad guy wrap and save her pride. It's the ethically better thing to do.

Otherwise, well-handled, and some good on-the-fly adjustments here. Good that you realized you were stalling in the park and moved it back home after. She would've been pretty disappointed if she didn't get you

Cheers,
Chase

 

[AFCnoob]

Always call or at least text. Otherwise, you leave girls feeling like they've been pumped and dumped...

Ugh, of course. I didn't want to come off as needy but damn...I should at least text right? Fair enough, I've been in this situation...two times in my life?

Effectively this tells her you found someone better than her; it's a big ego blow. But it's not needed. Friend zone her instead

Wow, I never meant to do that. I was just trying to be honest and give her a reason she'd understand, but when I turn it around, I guess it would suck to get a text like that from a girl. Ugh. The worst part is, I probably played it that way because some part of me was trying to protect my own ego (i.e. seeing myself as a user).

Well, if I ever find myself in this situation again, I'll know how to handle it. As usual, thanks for the sound advice.

 

[Mr. oblivious]

This is a solid post i love the Layout