Venue
Went to an club/bar it's a huge open space with drinks and music.
There were around 70-100 people in the place. 75-80% were College kids in age of 20-22.
It's an open space, people so people were smoke inside.
Wings
I went with 2 friends, so we were a group of 3. Let's call the K and T
These are normal people not PUA.
K is very loud and negative, overall uncalibrated wrt to what to say or not look needy but overall confident probably does not perceive himself like I do.
My outfit
A blue jacket (few guys have commented it looks good, but not any girl) white t-shirt and Black jeans and Balck high tops. I guess it was average outfit, not my best but not worst as well.
I was a bit sick self.
Spent 2-2.5 hours in total at the venue
Night
First 30-45 mins (10:30-11:15)
The venue was not full and not very warm as well. People were sitting on their tables and engaged with their group.
To look engaged and not thirsty, I was either chatting with my friends or smoking or at least kept an beer pint in hand.
As soon as I went inside T was with me, I opened a 2 set by asking for lighter to build momentum. Cute curly hair, but they didn't looked very interesting so I let it end after T also light his ciggerate.
Then we reched to bar table. K and T Grabbed a beer.
First to build a nice mood and get in fun vibes I was teasing both guys. Especially K coz he did not wanted to come out.
Though saying in fun, K, kept saying we will never get these girls, they are out of league, but I maintained my positive attitude and him this is all make up and mass of fat etc. not to put on pedestal.
And sort of started a game that every guy needs to light a cigarette by asking for lighter from a girl.
Sent a T for doing it and no girl gave him lighter but this guy was more positive.
While standing at bar 2 girls came they stood there a lot but couldn't open them not feeling confident due to my voice and seeing IOIs.
I was thinking about opening with you are putting a lot of thought in deciding what to drink.
Then another set of 2 girls came, very close could have just said something loud (not clicking what) and opened them. They danced a bit took their drink and left.
Then in front of us there was a set of 2 sitting but that would have looked very effortful to walk upto them.
Then I showed my friends girls are no big deal and went for asking lighter to a mixed set.
Don't know how to move convo forward from there.
But thought standing at this place anymore is just not right we will look despo so decided to move around.
Next 1 hour (11:15-12:15)
More people started coming inside and we switched to a center of the venue near an empty table.
I single set of 2 girls sitting near me on a table.
Could open drank our beer danced a bit.
Now even more people were coming.
Went to grab another beer with K.
At the bar counter a set of 2 girls came. Thought a girl is looking at me. I acted aloof, still feeling a bit insecure and what if she really is looking at me how will I open. Also, subconsciously fearing K will ruin the conversation.
Anyways they went, then we grabbed our beer. When I saw this set again tried smiling at her. I think she smiled back but I ended up moving to our table.
Now we moved to a place where 4 girl set was dancing tried toasting with a beer to that group saw no response and quickly turned my back towards them and started enjoying dancing.
After sometime T wanted to grab a strong drink so went to bar counter with him.
Opened another girl who was alone, by commenting on her drink, gin and tonic, she corrected no every white spirit, but with poker face, I commented back ahh having anything and everything smiling, again she shot back yeah, so I smiled back started staring somewhere else and looked into sky.
She went to her group.
Then opened another girl by asking for lighter. She didn't had any ( maybe I should drop a compliment after getting lighter, which I usually do)
Asked guy standing next to them. They also didn't had.
Finally my T got the drink.
Went back to that four girl group.
Again tried to see a bit if they will bite to merge with our group but didn't.
So went back to enjoying music T became drunk at this point. Those girls also moved idk if they wanted to leave the venue or due to T doing anything uncalibrated.
Last hour - (12:15-1:15)
Now crowd was at its peak. We went back to the table next which a 2 set was sitting.
I was tipsy so I sat on a chair and started using my phone to not despo.
Now my friends kept asking these girls repeatedly for lighter by going to them.
Then I thought one of the girl is looking at me so I tried making eye contact.
Then after sometime I waved at her and gestured her for lighter and she passed it through her friend.
There was quite distance but the reason I didn't walked upto her was to differentiate myself from my friends.
I returned lighter, and kept sitting.
Now I was surrounded by a set of 2 and 2 set of 3.
Thought if any girl will make some eye contact with me.
I thought they are making but it was not very strong to move me.
At this point other guys started engaging girls.
First a I saw a guy engaging the girl I asked for lighter.
Then the 3 set near me got engaged.
I was to tipsy at this point to take any action so I was passively waiting for eye contact.
Then my friends went for talking shots.
T became to drunk and asked a girl to for cigarette showing her ciggerate (he wanted a lighter)
I should have approached those girls.
Went back to our table K suddenly got courage seeing other guy engaging the girl, so he walked up to the girl from whom he was repeatedly asking for lighter. And took her insta (I think she gave out of politeness)
Anyways then finally we went outside to grab smoke came back.
Music has stopped and lastly a a guy and girl was standing next to me.
They were older my age (25)
I don't know how I situationally opened this girl and then reached hook points
Guessed her profession, and talked to her guy friend as well. We both Luckily had same degree so I chatted a bit more about work. Made some joke. This girl was on a vacation.
Took number of guy by saying I want to work in similar field.
Then told her I can show her around to see if she will exchange the numbers with me she declined politely.
Anyways it was a fun convo and I felt good about myself.
(This was 5-10 min convo but if I could have all the convos at this level, i think some girl I could have isolated)
That dumb K started putting pressure on me i am leaving so had to rush a bit convo.
Finally that girl to whom I had gestured for lighter saw me talking to this group and smiled at me but then she vanished ( maybe I was right she wanted me)
Anyways night ended everyone went home.
The girl who I saw being engaged by guys went alone. K got confident again and approached another girl, I think her attention tank was full. She declined.
Stopped for smoke that same group was buy cigarettes, they need lighter I offered mine, they declined i didn't cared anyways.
Conclusion
I made total of 6 approaches, 4 asking for lighter approach, 1 comment on drink approach, lastly a situational opener.
Lighter approach don't work for moving conversation quickly, i need to quickly comment something and engage. Where as drinks opener lends more easy going. Idk maybe I just need to get past the opener for this.
This venue is gold, but my city don't have any other venues like this. Music is ok enough to talk other places are too loud.
I am having approach anxiety here I belive due to different demographics of girls but regular practice will de-sensitise me.
I need to practice on reaching hook point and I should approach every one girls and guys both.
I need to study how to open groups.
The time I am thinking girls will hold eye contact might be much lower. Maybe I need to take a quick glane as IoI and approch.
Having better wings would have helped but going solo to these venue I will look very out of place.
Any comments and advice are welcome.
Went to an club/bar it's a huge open space with drinks and music.
There were around 70-100 people in the place. 75-80% were College kids in age of 20-22.
It's an open space, people so people were smoke inside.
Wings
I went with 2 friends, so we were a group of 3. Let's call the K and T
These are normal people not PUA.
K is very loud and negative, overall uncalibrated wrt to what to say or not look needy but overall confident probably does not perceive himself like I do.
My outfit
A blue jacket (few guys have commented it looks good, but not any girl) white t-shirt and Black jeans and Balck high tops. I guess it was average outfit, not my best but not worst as well.
I was a bit sick self.
Spent 2-2.5 hours in total at the venue
Night
First 30-45 mins (10:30-11:15)
The venue was not full and not very warm as well. People were sitting on their tables and engaged with their group.
To look engaged and not thirsty, I was either chatting with my friends or smoking or at least kept an beer pint in hand.
As soon as I went inside T was with me, I opened a 2 set by asking for lighter to build momentum. Cute curly hair, but they didn't looked very interesting so I let it end after T also light his ciggerate.
Then we reched to bar table. K and T Grabbed a beer.
First to build a nice mood and get in fun vibes I was teasing both guys. Especially K coz he did not wanted to come out.
Though saying in fun, K, kept saying we will never get these girls, they are out of league, but I maintained my positive attitude and him this is all make up and mass of fat etc. not to put on pedestal.
And sort of started a game that every guy needs to light a cigarette by asking for lighter from a girl.
Sent a T for doing it and no girl gave him lighter but this guy was more positive.
While standing at bar 2 girls came they stood there a lot but couldn't open them not feeling confident due to my voice and seeing IOIs.
I was thinking about opening with you are putting a lot of thought in deciding what to drink.
Then another set of 2 girls came, very close could have just said something loud (not clicking what) and opened them. They danced a bit took their drink and left.
Then in front of us there was a set of 2 sitting but that would have looked very effortful to walk upto them.
Then I showed my friends girls are no big deal and went for asking lighter to a mixed set.
Don't know how to move convo forward from there.
But thought standing at this place anymore is just not right we will look despo so decided to move around.
Next 1 hour (11:15-12:15)
More people started coming inside and we switched to a center of the venue near an empty table.
I single set of 2 girls sitting near me on a table.
Could open drank our beer danced a bit.
Now even more people were coming.
Went to grab another beer with K.
At the bar counter a set of 2 girls came. Thought a girl is looking at me. I acted aloof, still feeling a bit insecure and what if she really is looking at me how will I open. Also, subconsciously fearing K will ruin the conversation.
Anyways they went, then we grabbed our beer. When I saw this set again tried smiling at her. I think she smiled back but I ended up moving to our table.
Now we moved to a place where 4 girl set was dancing tried toasting with a beer to that group saw no response and quickly turned my back towards them and started enjoying dancing.
After sometime T wanted to grab a strong drink so went to bar counter with him.
Opened another girl who was alone, by commenting on her drink, gin and tonic, she corrected no every white spirit, but with poker face, I commented back ahh having anything and everything smiling, again she shot back yeah, so I smiled back started staring somewhere else and looked into sky.
She went to her group.
Then opened another girl by asking for lighter. She didn't had any ( maybe I should drop a compliment after getting lighter, which I usually do)
Asked guy standing next to them. They also didn't had.
Finally my T got the drink.
Went back to that four girl group.
Again tried to see a bit if they will bite to merge with our group but didn't.
So went back to enjoying music T became drunk at this point. Those girls also moved idk if they wanted to leave the venue or due to T doing anything uncalibrated.
Last hour - (12:15-1:15)
Now crowd was at its peak. We went back to the table next which a 2 set was sitting.
I was tipsy so I sat on a chair and started using my phone to not despo.
Now my friends kept asking these girls repeatedly for lighter by going to them.
Then I thought one of the girl is looking at me so I tried making eye contact.
Then after sometime I waved at her and gestured her for lighter and she passed it through her friend.
There was quite distance but the reason I didn't walked upto her was to differentiate myself from my friends.
I returned lighter, and kept sitting.
Now I was surrounded by a set of 2 and 2 set of 3.
Thought if any girl will make some eye contact with me.
I thought they are making but it was not very strong to move me.
At this point other guys started engaging girls.
First a I saw a guy engaging the girl I asked for lighter.
Then the 3 set near me got engaged.
I was to tipsy at this point to take any action so I was passively waiting for eye contact.
Then my friends went for talking shots.
T became to drunk and asked a girl to for cigarette showing her ciggerate (he wanted a lighter)
I should have approached those girls.
Went back to our table K suddenly got courage seeing other guy engaging the girl, so he walked up to the girl from whom he was repeatedly asking for lighter. And took her insta (I think she gave out of politeness)
Anyways then finally we went outside to grab smoke came back.
Music has stopped and lastly a a guy and girl was standing next to me.
They were older my age (25)
I don't know how I situationally opened this girl and then reached hook points
Guessed her profession, and talked to her guy friend as well. We both Luckily had same degree so I chatted a bit more about work. Made some joke. This girl was on a vacation.
Took number of guy by saying I want to work in similar field.
Then told her I can show her around to see if she will exchange the numbers with me she declined politely.
Anyways it was a fun convo and I felt good about myself.
(This was 5-10 min convo but if I could have all the convos at this level, i think some girl I could have isolated)
That dumb K started putting pressure on me i am leaving so had to rush a bit convo.
Finally that girl to whom I had gestured for lighter saw me talking to this group and smiled at me but then she vanished ( maybe I was right she wanted me)
Anyways night ended everyone went home.
The girl who I saw being engaged by guys went alone. K got confident again and approached another girl, I think her attention tank was full. She declined.
Stopped for smoke that same group was buy cigarettes, they need lighter I offered mine, they declined i didn't cared anyways.
Conclusion
I made total of 6 approaches, 4 asking for lighter approach, 1 comment on drink approach, lastly a situational opener.
Lighter approach don't work for moving conversation quickly, i need to quickly comment something and engage. Where as drinks opener lends more easy going. Idk maybe I just need to get past the opener for this.
This venue is gold, but my city don't have any other venues like this. Music is ok enough to talk other places are too loud.
I am having approach anxiety here I belive due to different demographics of girls but regular practice will de-sensitise me.
I need to practice on reaching hook point and I should approach every one girls and guys both.
I need to study how to open groups.
The time I am thinking girls will hold eye contact might be much lower. Maybe I need to take a quick glane as IoI and approch.
Having better wings would have helped but going solo to these venue I will look very out of place.
Any comments and advice are welcome.
