What's new

Overproviding Good Feelings

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
461
Hi team,

I just read this article and died


Now that i am dead please help me. Is there any perspective on this?

When i go out, i seem to have naturally figured out ways to be social/turned on. I've even had people literally say to me "you are all good vibes" and people seek me out/my attention/presence.

I have a good time and i am peace & love incarnate and i love to laugh and build people up and feel good.

Ironically i think there are some situations where this is hurting me with women. i could never put my finger on it before. does anyone have perspective or advice about a matter like this? is the solution just to kinda... turn it off toward the women i like?

Thanks
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

ulrich

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
1,760
It’s more like understanding that if you provide too much good feelings in an outing you may make the specific girl feel “satisfied” enough that she doesn’t feel like doing anything sexual with you.

Say for example that you take her to the movies, then grab dinner, have a great conversation and then go dancing together.
By the end of the night she is so happy/satiated/tired that she just ends up the night and your chances to lay her decrease dramatically.

This doesn’t apply to your male friends, platonic female friends or acquaintances.
This is an specific seduction dynamic.

So if you want to end up alone with a girl and do sexual things with her, be careful of killing the tension by providing too much fun/connection.
A healthy dose of mystery and sexual tension is a requirement for sex.

Instead of “turning it off” think of “proper targeting”.

If this is a girl you like, you’re going to gradually stop your good vibes/fun and start seducing her (and only her) while your good vibes are still available for the group.
This is something special that you do FOR HER because she earned your interest.
 

HoofHearted

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 10, 2022
Messages
461
Thanks for helping me think this through! I think you're right

I'm gonna go test some stuff tonight and see if i can notice a difference.
 
Top