- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 84
So being that guy without a girl who always "Goes to a party for the music", but never takes any girl home, I've always gotten advice like: "Don't go to the party looking for a girl man. Just be yourself, have fun and then there definitly should be a single cute girl there who wants to go home with you."
I've gotten advise like that numerous of times from friends and co workers. Clearly they ment well, but that advise wasn't working for me at the time. I already wasn't actively looking for a girl at the party. I was there "for the music". Secretly I'd drool at beautiful girls of course, but my mindset was wrong. I adopted a protective mindset so that I wouldn't end up in a bad spot:
Or whatever crap I came up with. You get the idea. I really had to change those thoughts around.
So here you find GC. You learn to rewire your brain a little:
On GC you also learn to become more attractive, more interresting, so your results go up, which is fun.
But then the next thing you run up against is that wall where you notice you no longer improve and your results are like this:
You feel like you are in that middle spot and still have to find that "one special girl with whom everything is perfectly in balance with together with you".
But that didn't sit right with me... So I look back at that advise I'd always get: "Don't go to the party looking for a girl man. Just be yourself, have fun and then there definitly should be a single cute girl there who wants to go home with you." and I see it holds true now!
Over the past months I've become something I thought I'd never should become. I'm now acting like one of those 'player guys' that people high up on the social ladder look down upon with a smile and say "Tssk, he's trying way too hard". And indeed I am / was.
A new piece of the puzzle falls into place. After overcoming the fears, learning how to deal with girls in general, and now coming full circle; I learned I just need to be myself and just go out and have fun. Why didn't I notice this before? Of course this isn't simply myself here anymore though. At least not the same self as I was a year ago. It is my improved and more attractive self; it's me with much more social knowledge and without any social fear. Best of all I'm not afraid of pretty girls, nor do I put them on pedestals any longer. It's become simply a matter of going out there and having a little fun with some of those silly, cute, sexy girls!
Really looking forward to tomorrow night. Will be hitting Amsterdam for a party. Let's see if I can maintain these playful thoughts in my head for the best part of the night
I've gotten advise like that numerous of times from friends and co workers. Clearly they ment well, but that advise wasn't working for me at the time. I already wasn't actively looking for a girl at the party. I was there "for the music". Secretly I'd drool at beautiful girls of course, but my mindset was wrong. I adopted a protective mindset so that I wouldn't end up in a bad spot:
- "I'm here for the music, so everyone must be here for the music including the girls"
This was covering for:
"All the pretty girls are all here with their boyfriends. I don't want to chat them up and then end up in a fight with their bf"
And that one was even covering for:
"If I chat up with a girl, everyone behind me will see and people will start talking about me and I don't like that"
Or whatever crap I came up with. You get the idea. I really had to change those thoughts around.
So here you find GC. You learn to rewire your brain a little:
- - "Girls are out here to get in bed with guys like me"
- "Who cares if she has a bf and if he is there, smile and shake hands with the bf; It's no big deal. All part of being out in a venue at a party"
- "People talk about me? Who cares. I don't know these people and if I do, why are they judging me? I don't need that.. Better to cut those people off anyway."
On GC you also learn to become more attractive, more interresting, so your results go up, which is fun.
But then the next thing you run up against is that wall where you notice you no longer improve and your results are like this:
- - normal girls, that you actually don't hold that much interrest in, fall in love with you
- cute/interesting girls laugh at you and/or put you on ignore
- no way to improve with the cute/interesting girls, while clearly getting bored and sexually uninterested with normal girls.
You feel like you are in that middle spot and still have to find that "one special girl with whom everything is perfectly in balance with together with you".
But that didn't sit right with me... So I look back at that advise I'd always get: "Don't go to the party looking for a girl man. Just be yourself, have fun and then there definitly should be a single cute girl there who wants to go home with you." and I see it holds true now!
Over the past months I've become something I thought I'd never should become. I'm now acting like one of those 'player guys' that people high up on the social ladder look down upon with a smile and say "Tssk, he's trying way too hard". And indeed I am / was.
A new piece of the puzzle falls into place. After overcoming the fears, learning how to deal with girls in general, and now coming full circle; I learned I just need to be myself and just go out and have fun. Why didn't I notice this before? Of course this isn't simply myself here anymore though. At least not the same self as I was a year ago. It is my improved and more attractive self; it's me with much more social knowledge and without any social fear. Best of all I'm not afraid of pretty girls, nor do I put them on pedestals any longer. It's become simply a matter of going out there and having a little fun with some of those silly, cute, sexy girls!
Really looking forward to tomorrow night. Will be hitting Amsterdam for a party. Let's see if I can maintain these playful thoughts in my head for the best part of the night
