Observations People May Really Have "Types"

[Chase]

I've been trying to crack the nut of what that "love at first sight" thing really is and where it comes from. Is it pheromones? Is it based on past experiences - e.g., you see a girl who looks like a girl you liked in the past, and it sets off emotions? Is it a reaction to the other person's infatuation - one person sees someone else he or she really likes, and the other person picks up on this warmth and has a mutual feeling? I still don't know.

But, somewhat accidentally, I came across the wedding pictures page of the girl I mentioned in "Can't Stop Thinking About Her? Here's Why You Need to Meet More Girls" - the most popular girl / head cheerleader in my junior high and high school, who chased after me tenaciously to go out with her, but whom I was originally indifferent to (I liked her pretty blonde friend, even though THIS girl was prettier, smarter, and spunkier), but then I talked myself into liking her and eventually fell hard for her, asked her out a few times, and flirted with her occasionally over the years, and she flirted with me occasionally, but it never went anywhere and led to an 8-year obsession that I eventually used as motivation to get myself approaching other women ("If I'm ever going to get HER, I've got to get good with women in general FIRST," I told myself).

Well, she married last summer - good for her, the guy seems nice and they seem to travel around and do fun things together and my emotions towards her have cooled off substantially from where they were back in the day (plenty of success with loads of awesome, beautiful women will do that to you), but I noticed something intriguing:

In her picture, this girl now looks EXACTLY like a long-term ex-girlfriend of mine, and her new husband looks EXACTLY like ME, aged another 5 or so years and a few pounds heavier.

Basically, I ended up dating / marrying /divorcing a girl who was a carbon-copy of my long-time crush (without realizing the similarity), and that long-time crush ended up marrying a guy who's a carbon-copy of me, too.

I suppose it's possible it's pure coincidence, but I don't really think so. What I'm trying to figure out is if we have specific "types" that are just hard-coded into us, or if these preferences are developed over time.

I went to school with that girl from kindergarten until senior year of high school, and I never had any feelings at all for her until after she'd been chasing me for some time and I was already 13 years old. So it's not like it was love at first sight... I was chasing around other girls in kindergarten, first grade, and later grades (in fact, I had a different girl I was chasing pretty much every grade in school; only grade I think I didn't chase a girl was 4th, and that was because I had a hot female teacher).

So what I'm thinking this is is a learned preference.

Anyway, I'm flattered to see I had a big enough impact on her that she ended up marrying a guy who looked just like me. At least the infatuation clearly was mutual...

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

Chase,

So what I'm thinking this is is a learned preference.

Anyway, I'm flattered to see I had a big enough impact on her that she ended up marrying a guy who looked just like me. At least the infatuation clearly was mutual...

Learned preference, a great way to sum it up.

It's a thought, there was a time i always joked to my friends about big breasted women, i unconsciously meet lots of them. ^_^ btw, having a big impact on a women is something i always had inside, like leaving a mark on her. and she will think of you. i have had a girl in secondary school genuinely sound happier when i call her. Perhaps i did however. Perhaps this what makes me genuinely complicated inside, because i always had this. I don't know if it's right. Byronic or vulnerable characteristic maybe. wanting to always make a women remember me.

ZacAdamMorrrison

 

[Flames]

I don't know about my preference, but there's certainly a type of girls looks-wise who are attracted to me, practically all of my ex's and currents are all dark hair, brown eyes, tallish (for a girl) with big feet (no idea why). There's been a few radically different ones, which I seem to be 'getting on better with' but if you looked at pictures of them they'd be different ages and indeed races of the same girl.

 

[Eternity]

My type is the porcelain skin, dark long hair with big colored eyes (blue, grey ect.) I have an incredible weakness for those type of women. Shit, I've lusted for them big time. Funny thing is that a certain type of women don't go for me, some could be blonde others could be like the one mentioned above. So it depends on the person, i think some men just attract their type others attract different types all over.

 

[Richard]

I have a slightly different theory on the matter, goes along with learned preference, but basically utilizes the psychological term "prototype." A prototype is any person, image, or place believed to be the prime example of that particular category. Examples, the prototype for most people when you ask them what a "big cat is" most will say tiger, if you ask them to draw a bird, most will draw a "robin, or blue jay and probably not an ostrich or penguin which are also birds." Anyhow, your prototype is developed mostly through experience and through the availability heuristic, and from my own experience, I believe we go for women who are a lot like our very first genuine love/ relationship. Currently, I love Latina women! and I don't think its a coincidence because my first girlfriend who genuinely loved me was Puerto Rican...

 

[Thedoctor]

I'm more prone to the Oedipus complex to explain people's types. The original story of Oedipus was that he killed his father and married his mother. Obviously a bit of an over exaggeration, but lots of psychologists (Freud included, who coined the term "Oedipus complex") agree that we subconsciously seek out the opposite gender parent for long term relationships.

ie. males are attracted to girls who remind them of their mothers, girls are attracted to guys that remind them of their fathers (most people are familiar with girls who have "daddy issues")

If you ever notice someone who has a "type", chances are this applies. In some cases, it's the exact opposite. They want someone that is the complete exact opposite of their respective gender parent.

This is a very difficult thing to notice about yourself, for obvious reasons. If you're a guy, you're not gonna sit there and ponder "does my new girlfriend look and act like my mom?". But, it's very easy to spot in other people. The next time you're at a wedding (or large family gathering), look around and see if it applies. What you notice may astound, and disgust you slightly.

 

[trashKENNUT]

BUMP