Philosophy of Taoism in seduction

[Soulpete01]

I just read the article 'The Tao of Seduction' by Michael Chief and I am really into the of philosophy matters right now. There is couple of things I dont understand and I need those to get clear. I am stuck.

The article treats about 'the greater power' that man has to submit to. Is this power my sex drive? Love? My neediness or loneliness? Or what exactly? How to flow with it properly?

I know the feeling of being vulnerable in front of a girl. Exposed. Not childishly fighting for power and dominance to 'show her the place' or to just get laid. I am over that stuff. I am on the stage when I see her I just want to say- I invite you for my jurney, to my world. I want to BUILD something with you, just to look at you be with you and enjoy your feminity. Create together. And I am so strongly sure of it like never before.

Maybe you will say its love maybe its not. Its just how I feel right now. But at the same time I am afriaid if its good to open up like this in front of her. Doesn't it scare her? Make me look weak, romantic, idealistic, not efficient? The pick up society will tell you be an alpha dominant etc. But thats a farse a theatre.
What does she REALLY want me to be?
Where is the truth?
Does Wu wei work?

 

[Richard]

Interesting thread.

Taoism, Eastern philosophy, Western psychology, philosophy (especially existential philo) are all things I enjoy and have incorporated into my "game."

I think "submitting to the greater power" means letting go of your need to feel in control and dominate what is around you. Domination and control is easier, by all means, but submitting to the natural course of nature (to the Wu Wei) is what is really "powerful." Think about it like painting a picture; if you're trying to copy something in front of you, the painting becomes rigid and lacks fluidity but when an artist creates from imagination or something of the sort; a real masterpiece is created.

For somebody who is so interested in Taoism; do you see that,even in how you're writing, you're still trying to exert control?

• I'm afraid if it's good to open up in front of her
• Doesn't it scare her? Make me look weak?
• Being alpha is a farce.
• What does she want me to be?

Every one of those statements is in direct contrast to the principles and philosophy you're currently interested in. The more you "try" to be this something (whatever preconceived notion you have of what women "want") and the more you try to mimic it (as a painter is doing by copying something in front of him) the more rigid and inauthentic your time with women will be.

-Richard

 

[Soulpete01]

I think "submitting to the greater power" means letting go of your need to feel in control and dominate what is around you. Domination and control is easier, by all means, but submitting to the natural course of nature (to the Wu Wei) is what is really "powerful."

Yeah, but still it's confusing for me to consider it as a passivity. Just waiting for life to happen which is bad. You know there is that 'western part of me' thinking that you have to hustle. You have to make things happen, control everything be efficient work hard and again work hard, rat race- thats the culture I was raised in. Its difficult to overcome such mental codes.

if you're trying to copy something in front of you, the painting becomes rigid and lacks fluidity but when an artist creates from imagination or something of the sort; a real masterpiece is created

But don't we all need role models? Someone to get inspiration from? There is saying that everything is a copy of a copy of a copy. That's the way we learn languages as childern, we copy what we hear. Repeat again and again. We copy our parents behavior, probably we treat women the way our fathers have been doing it (?)

Every one of those statements is in direct contrast to the principles and philosophy you're currently interested in. The more you "try" to be this something (whatever preconceived notion you have of what women "want") and the more you try to mimic it (as a painter is doing by copying something in front of him) the more rigid and inauthentic your time with women will be.

Well I am not dogmatic. Not saying that I am full Tao. Just looking for my way for the truth. I am 22.

 

[Richard]

Pete,

Wu-Wei isn't about passivity, though. It's essentially, going with the flow without trying to control the flow. It's one of the great paradoxes of living and, actually, I'm willing to bet that you've already experienced it at some point in your life; if you've ever felt you were in the "Zone." If you've ever done something and it felt totally effortless and you moved or operated with grace and time didn't seem to exit then you've experienced Wu-Wei.

Translating that to woman you're talking to - if you're consciously thinking about what to say, what signs to look for, the angles and windows/opportunities, and you're stuck in your head then you are out of sync with the natural "flow" of things. Keep in mind, all this time you're still working hard and busting your ass but it feels effortless and you'll back and feel like it "just happened."

Having role models is fine but, to quote Picasso "Good artists copy, great artists steal" and I interpret that in the following way; copying someone is cool, but taking what someone else is doing and making it your own is the best. So, you could "copy" Franco, Chase, myself, Hector, Seppuku, Pooba, etc. but it will pull you out of Wu-Wei because you'll be constantly thinking what we would do; better to take bits and pieces from all us that resonate with who you are.

Here's a good video that goes in depth about this very topic: Collin Alchemy.

P.S. I'm only 23 =) The Enlightening thing about Taoism is making sense of the paradoxes. You really have to unplug yourself from social programming and personal biases to get maximum usefulness out of it. I, thankfully, am a very intuitional and open-minded person so I became ingrained in Taoism when I was first introduced to it at 17 years old.

 

[Richard]

Something else,

Water is a key symbol and analogy to Taoism; water is submissive and soft but is able to erode and break down everything harder and stronger. If we take this analogy and apply it literally then it means every problem we face has an effortless and exact solution given enough persistence =)

One other thing - the painting analogy. Taoism talks about how you should find that "nature" in yourself instead of trying to copy or mimic it; the same is true of mentors or role models and taking what they do and really making it your own.

-Richard

 

[Soulpete01]

I think I kind of understand it.

Muhammad Ali once said:

"The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses - behind the lines, in the gym, and out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights."

Thats very wise and it relates to women as well. The moment you meet her and talk to her is your 'fight' your 'dance under the lights'. Its already too late to fix anything you are just you- the sum of your experiences, your practices and there is no logical reason to be stressed. Work has been already done.

Something else,

Water is a key symbol and analogy to Taoism; water is submissive and soft but is able to erode and break down everything harder and stronger. If we take this analogy and apply it literally then it means every problem we face has an effortless and exact solution given enough persistence =)

Well here is the issue becouse the water is very often the symbol of feminine nature. So how is it supposed to work with attracting a women?

Have you ever watched Leo Gura from actualized YT channel? He said that to be really masculine means to recognize your feminine element and be aware of it- not fighting with it and just show it to the world and express it (that's very counter intuitive thing and takes some consciousness work to understand it).

 

[Richard]

Water is feminine, my friend.

The great paradox of water, though, is that while it can erode anything given enough time and it can fit between every crack and weakness in any structure, it's also 1) relatively easy to contain and 2) changes it's shape and conforms to whatever is around it.

That's a perfect analogy of how women behave; from tests to love and attraction. They're able to find all the cracks and flaws in your cup/glass/vase, etc. but if you full understand yourself then women conform to you quite easily. Naturally, water's purpose is to fill whatever is around it (as is a woman's purpose).

Things get a little bit dicey here, though, because of the inherent paradoxes. A woman's ultimate purpose is to fill a man's cup which requires the man knowing who he is inside and out and being very concrete with himself; the more hesitation, uncertainty, and chips you have the harder it is for a woman to conform to your cup (in practical terms, it's harder for her to fall in love with you or sleep with you, etc.).

For a man, being a cup is a mentality/approach and simply means you understand yourself and since feminine/masculine energy exists in everyone to be a complete "man" means to acknowledge that feminine energy, if that makes sense. Denying the existence of that part of yourself is similar to having a chip or crack in your cup OR trying to patch up that crack with a band-aid because the denial is usually based in some kind of insecurity, weakness, or self-criticism. Also, accepting that part of you is "water" means you also have access to the benefits of "water," as well.

Hope that helps; it's pretty hard to speak in analogies and get precise points across so if you're stuck on anything don't hesitate to ask a question!

-Richard

 

[Soulpete01]

Well I think about the non duality concept these days. It's also deeply conected with eastern philosophy so thats right panel to discuss.

Non duality considers reality as highly relative and subjective. I wonder how really people get in pairs? Whats the algorithm here? Do opposites attract each other? Its quite logical, like feminine attracts masculine. Or maybe it has to be some common ground to make it happen?

I wonder if the way I see HER is only my way. Meaning- I see her through my filters and thats why shes so attractive to me, but for other men she may be quite opposite. It's solipsistic way of seeing things. Still pretty hard to me to aquire.

 

[Michal]

To add to the discussion, the way we perceive things around us is also influenced by our vocabulary. If you know only words like pretty and ugly and the top of your capacity is "pretty ugly", then you have a very limited way to perceive the beauty around you. If however you add words like elegant, debonaire, beautiful, gorgeous, the spectrum is much wider and allows you to see the reality in more detailed ways.
This is something I got from one of Jim Rohn's seminars where some ex collegues of his did a study in Britain with inmates in prison and noticed that there is a relationship between vocabulary and behaviour. Poor vocabulary leads to poor behaviour. So I am sure that the way you see one girl is very different from when I see the same girl.