Pointing out the obvious...

[Estate]

Hey!

Maybe this is a newbie tactic, the advanced guys might not even go there or need this but it's something I've had work for me if conversation sort of hit a dead end.
Point out the obvious or the "Elephant in the room".

For some weird reason people often go into automatic "date mode" when talking to the opposite sex... "So what kind of music do you like", "Do you like your job", etc.. etc...

The standard questions... and sometimes these are just a great way to open up a topic for deep diving and can be perfectly fine as long as you don't just respond to her reply with "Oh, cool".

But sometimes you get into these topics, maybe even the girls asks what your favourite band is... and the stock answer is "Oh, I don't know, I like all sorts of music really, it depends on my mood".
So it can a bit of a dead end... she didn't really give you a particular band or type of music to ask her more about, she didn't expand on it... you sort of have to force it a little to ask for more detail...

So I tend to just break the tension and kinda smile and say "Haha, I feel like that's the worst question everyone asks... " (or something along those lines... i.e. point out the fact that it's like a "stock" date question that everyone asks).
Usually that gets a smile out of her, she'll agree and the break in tension actually gets her to open up a little either about that topic or just the funny questions people ask on dates or anything like that.

In a weird way... it breaks the "standard conversation" she's probably had a million times and points out that you realise it's a little silly that this is the same conversation everyone has and sort of makes you seem either unique for pointing it out or noticing it, or usually gets her to open up and speak her mind on a closer level since you break through those surface level conversation starters and she'll probably begin to tell you what she really thinks.

I haven't laid this out too well... it just popped into my head after a date tonight... I ended up using it when I thought her answers were a little stale and I was bored and she really opened up after that, and I noticed I'd used before in other situations too.

Probably not really a very advanced technique but maybe something guys learning could use as a backup if they get stuck.

 

[Chase]

Estate-

Probably not really a very advanced technique but maybe something guys learning could use as a backup if they get stuck.

At the upper levels, this one gets advanced pretty quickly.

There are obvious ones, like she tells you her name is Jasmine, and you ignore it for a while and then, once you're really into conversation, make some lame joke about how you're going to introduce her to a whole new world and she'll laugh because most people are too socially inept to do anything other than say, "Oh, Jasmine? Like from Aladdin?" the instant she tells them her name. Then we she laughs you can tell her, "Close your eyes, it gets better!"

Then there are less obvious ones, like where she goes off on a tangent about vegetarianism or feminism or saving the poor children or whatever, and you stop her at some point and say, "You know, these things are really important, but even if you convert me it isn't going to make much difference in saving the world or in the outcome of you and me having a meal and enjoying each other's company." And then she'll realize it and come down off her soapbox.

There are all kinds of elephants in the room, and the better you get at pointing them out, the more quickly you're able to amaze and wow people with your ability to see what they don't see because they're so caught up in the moment. It's a powerful and attractive trait... nothing "newbie" about it, Estate!

Chase

 

[Estate]

Thanks Chase,
I like the additions you made to this, much more insight.