Poly relationship, getting stuck

[Anonymous]

I have an open marriage, and am having a hell of a time with pickup.

I can approach, girls are clearly attracted, but they will still put up resistance as I escalate. Here are a couple examples:

I'll approach, build some rapport, after a while I mention my relationship status, and then...
"I am really uncomfortable with this"

I'll get a girls number, after texting a bit, mention situation, I usually get something luke:
"I don't want anything to do with this... take care of your wife"

Or they will assume I'm a liar since apparently a lot of guys say they're in open relationships.

My intentions of stating my relationship status is so they don't get the wrong idea of stealing me away from the wife, and to know I have integrity.

Am I the only one with this problem? Should it be the first thing I mention, in a direct approach? I don't know an artful indirect way of putting it. Any advice or ideas are appreciated.

 

[Hector Papi Castillo]

Don't tell them. I was in an open relationship this summer and it turned girls off a lot when I told them. They think you're manipulative or just cheating, which can be a huge attraction tool but only if they decide they want to seduce you from her of their own free will and attraction.

So you have a choice

1. Never tell them and if they ask, say you're "too busy for a serious relationship," which is somewhat true, but still mostly a lie.

2. Only tell them if they really dig deep. Say really vague shit first, and then if they pry, tell them, and say it VERY casually.

Also, for the sake of your sanity in an open relationship of any kind, do not in any way compare yourself to the success your wife is probably having. No man on this earth, even a fucking celebrity, can out-seduce a women who even just above average attractiveness. She can get as much dick as she wants, and probably is. I got really competitive with my ex and in a weird way it motivated me, but every time I hooked up with a girl I worried if I was keeping up with her and feared that if I didn't hookup, she'd lose interest in me, via negative preselection.

Also, NEVER get jealous with her; if she does ever play jealousy games and indirectly mentions a hookup without any provocation, still just laugh it off, maybe even joke with her about it.

But yeah, decide which route you want to take. You'll learn a lot from your open marriage, but any open arrangement is very tough if you can't maintain the upper hand with abundance mentality and outcome independence.

- Hector

P.S. Do you WANT to be in an open marriage? Or was it her idea?

 

[Whizzy]

Hey Crimson, I wouldn't tell them straight up about the open relationship as you are finding. It will greatly kill the vibe for most chicks, especially because if its true then they end up being a bootycall even if things progress. Just treat it as any other seduction and make them work for any info about you, makes things more fun anyways