Post Sex Talk

[Peleus]

Hi guys. Had sex with a tinder chick yesterday. Was wondering if you guys have any post sex talk techniques. With my girl yesterday, after sex, we talked about fantasies and I built some more rapport with her. Also, I was wondering if talking about what the girl liked and didn't like about the sex would be a good idea. I'm thinking this would be a good way to enhance my sex life. In addition, I recall Anatman asking his women when they knew they wanted to have sex with him. What do you guys think about that? I know your technique should depend on how much you care about the girl, but just wanted to raise a discussion.

-Peleus

 

[Lotus]

Post sex pillow talk is definitely a good thing to add to your toolbox. She's going to be a lot more relaxed and willing to open up about things she wouldn't normally be comfortable talking about.

Also, I was wondering if talking about what the girl liked and didn't like about the sex would be a good idea.

Yes, but try to keep the focus positive. What she liked, what turns her on, where are her sensitive spots, etc. Personal, I like to ask whether she masturbates =)

In addition, I recall Anatman asking his women when they knew they wanted to have sex with him. What do you guys think about that?

Asking her that will help you to calibrate when she is ready to be pulled. Which in turn will allow you to pull more efficiently, so yes I'd say go for it.

I quite enjoy pillow talk... the girl I'm seeing now opens up 100% more here then anywhere else.

 

[Dude909]

I don't really see the point in post-sex sex talk... Pre-sex is good as it turns her on. But post-sex sub communicates you don't have sex often with many girls. It's like commenting on your first kiss... Quite lame. That's just my opinion anyway, to each his own.

 

[Lotus]

Fair enough, everyone has their own preference.

You have already done enough to get sex why should you care how many girls she thinks you've had sex with. Sex is the end goal of seduction. All girls are different why not find out what turns her on more than anything else and use that to blow her mind even more then next time.... or 10 minutes later when you fuck her again.

If pillow talk after sex enough to scare her away(if that's what your going for.. if not who cares what she thinks) you have bigger problems.

Sex is a skill just like any other and there's nothing lame about improving your skills. I would argue a reluctance to expose yourself to criticism or advice communicates a ego attachment.

 

[Dude909]

For me sex in not the end goal, but hopefully the beginning of a relationship. Starting and maintaining a poly relationship in the long term is not that easy (certainly not as easy as laying a new girl), so it's important to set the frame right from the beginning. Letting her understand that having sex is no biggie for you is part of it. I do agree though that finding out what turns her on is great (though I tend to prefer to screen for girls who try to turn ME on, I'm selfish like that... Girls who are very into clit and not much into penetrative sex are nexted very quick), I just don't think right after the first lay is the ideal time to do so.

 

[Peleus]

Letting her understand that having sex is no biggie for you is part of it. I do agree though that finding out what turns her on is great (though I tend to prefer to screen for girls who try to turn ME on, I'm selfish like that... I just don't think right after the first lay is the ideal time to do so.

I disagree that talking about the sex after sex makes it a big deal for you, if you have a comfortable, playful vibe. If she has sex with you, she probably likes you and talking to her about the sex after it is not going to write her off in my opinion. I think this technique is useful after sex because the girl will be more open and it will be fresh on her mind.

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

I am going to try and read between the lines of was Dude909 is say. He is looking for form longer term sexual relationships with several women and he wants them to know that they can not get him into a deeper relationship by withholding sex. He thinks that "Letting her understand that having sex is no biggie for you" gives him the upper hand.

If I were to have a different girl for each day of the week I would definitely want them to know we are not in a provider relationship. Personally I would want them to know that sex is a big deal for me and improving it is important. But I would make it clear that we are not switching from Lovers to provider relationship based on the quantity and quality to the sex.

 

[Franco]

Peleus,

The important thing is to keep the same vibe after sex that you had with her before sex. The things girls will be looking for after you have sex with them are changes in your behavior: do you still care about her? are you needy all of a sudden? are you ignoring her? do you still want to talk to her and treat her like a human being? do you still adore her body?

You don't need to directly answer those questions; chances are, if she slept with you, she determined that you were a man who could answer all of those questions correctly. So now she wants to know, did she make the right determination?

Just keep the vibe comfortable, warm, and fun. If you want to talk about the sex, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not my style, but I'm also not against it either. Most girls I'll just joke with and hold under my arm post-sex, and maybe we'll laugh about the things that happened leading up to the date. Shortly after, I'll usually take her for another round.

- Franco