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Preventing Her Friend from Stopping You

SteveUno

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 24, 2013
Messages
46
If the bar is closing and you have a girl who is very interested in you and it looks like she'll come back with you but she says she came with her friend and that friend is breathing down your back saying she has to take your girl home, what do you do?

I have experienced this time and time again.
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,170
Steve-

SteveUno said:
If the bar is closing and you have a girl who is very interested in you and it looks like she'll come back with you but she says she came with her friend and that friend is breathing down your back saying she has to take your girl home, what do you do?

I have experienced this time and time again.

The best thing you can possibly do here is use a barrier to include her in the planning:



  • "I want to invite you to grab a nightcap with me... but I don't think your friend will let you go with me."

She's either going to agree, "Yeah, I don't think she will," which means she isn't all that interested; she'll debate it, "No, I think it'll be okay!" which either means her friend is cool and will give the okay, or it means your girl is pie-in-the-sky and you need to start giving her directions on how to handle her friend; or she'll say, "You're right - here's what we'll do," and she'll hatch a plot with you, or she'll trade numbers with you to meet up at a later date, at which point you can say, "Wait, I don't want your number - I want us to keep hanging out. How can we keep hanging out right now?" if you want to move things forward.

It's her friend; you know nothing about their dynamic, the friend's logistics, whether this is a friend who interferes or steps aside when her girl's going home with a guy, etc. You want to offload the handling of the friend to her - do that right, and she'll solve the problem for you much of the time.

Chase
 

SteveUno

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 24, 2013
Messages
46
Ok, I gotcha. I did read the article in which you talk about putting up easily removable barriers.
Thanks.
 
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