- Joined
- Oct 16, 2015
- Messages
- 24
When seducing a woman, what does a process look like ? Or better yet, what does an effective process look like? Like is everything all in order, orrr... I'm just confused as to what a process looks like!
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2015
- Messages
- 1,107
I used to be very rigid and inflexible about my process.
It literally used to be like this:
Open>Banter>Deep Dive>Grab phone number or invite to instadate>Continue Deep Dive+add touch>After about 1.5-2 hours of interaction, Pull home>Deep Dive and do activity I invited her to do (e.g. watch a movie)>Escalate to sex.
Unfortunately, my rigidness has caused me some inner game issues in the past.
For example, if I fail to do all this within the first date, I'll always freak out and think that she's not into me. Or if she does something which derails this process (e.g. she sits too far away from me for her to touch her), I'll feel lost and I won't know what to do anymore.
Nowadays I've scrapped the concept of "process" as a whole. Instead, I just have a general idea of how I'm going to get her back to my place. This leaves lots of room for unexpected twists (e.g. She has to leave after 1.5 hours of meeting me for xyz reason).
Nowadays, its more like this:
Open>Conversation>Grab Phone number or Instadate>Continue Conversation> When the time is right, pull her home> When the time is right, escalate
Notice that this second one is a lot more vague. That's because I've realized that there is no one-size fits all process. Some girls will be ready to go home with me within 15 minutes. Others will take forever (e.g. last night, I had sex with a virgin. It took me 34 hours to get her into bed with me). Others will throw entirely unexpected curveballs at me (e.g. inviting me to a date and not telling me that she's going to be with a friend and said friend's date). Regardless, this new process encompasses all of that and leaves me a lot more calm and not nearly as calculating and "stuck in my head" as before.
It literally used to be like this:
Open>Banter>Deep Dive>Grab phone number or invite to instadate>Continue Deep Dive+add touch>After about 1.5-2 hours of interaction, Pull home>Deep Dive and do activity I invited her to do (e.g. watch a movie)>Escalate to sex.
Unfortunately, my rigidness has caused me some inner game issues in the past.
For example, if I fail to do all this within the first date, I'll always freak out and think that she's not into me. Or if she does something which derails this process (e.g. she sits too far away from me for her to touch her), I'll feel lost and I won't know what to do anymore.
Nowadays I've scrapped the concept of "process" as a whole. Instead, I just have a general idea of how I'm going to get her back to my place. This leaves lots of room for unexpected twists (e.g. She has to leave after 1.5 hours of meeting me for xyz reason).
Nowadays, its more like this:
Open>Conversation>Grab Phone number or Instadate>Continue Conversation> When the time is right, pull her home> When the time is right, escalate
Notice that this second one is a lot more vague. That's because I've realized that there is no one-size fits all process. Some girls will be ready to go home with me within 15 minutes. Others will take forever (e.g. last night, I had sex with a virgin. It took me 34 hours to get her into bed with me). Others will throw entirely unexpected curveballs at me (e.g. inviting me to a date and not telling me that she's going to be with a friend and said friend's date). Regardless, this new process encompasses all of that and leaves me a lot more calm and not nearly as calculating and "stuck in my head" as before.
- Joined
- Oct 16, 2015
- Messages
- 24
That sorta helped my situation, i'm just looking to write a solid process down thats my style & fits me. Then get it to the point where its on autopilot & won't have to think about it anymore.
- Joined
- Aug 25, 2014
- Messages
- 1,149
Hey PB101,
The process means you already have an idea of what you want to get from the date, before the date, and organize everything around this goal. In particular, you need to be clear whether you're going to pull her home or not. This should be your ultimate goal, but if you're not yet there in your learning curve, you could have other goals, like learning to read her body language, learning to behave sexy, cool and collected, gain confidence, etc... I was doing this initially when I started - but I lost many girls to this.
The quicker you learn the first date pull, the better. Here's what my process looks like.
1. Contact the girl, build a little rapport, and get her details. I use mostly online game, but cold approach day game, or night game, etc... would do equally well, it's up to you.
2. Very early on, set up the date. Beat the iron while hot. The majority of my successful interactions occurred when the first date happened within 2 to 4 days of contact.
3. Meet her on a bar / restaurant (bar better) close to your home. Make sure you have plenty of time ahead. You'll need at least two hours of face to face, and two more hours at your place later. I like to start around 7pm, in order to be finished by 11pm.
4. Build up emotional and physical comfort. She's here, she already likes you, she just needs to be comfortable around you. Deep dive, touch a lot.
5. When you think she's comfortable, propose her to come to your home on any pretext. If you're not sure if she's comfortable yet, it's better to propose anyway, because there's a likelihood you'll never see her again.
6. At home you'll have to do a little comfort building again (change in place, change in mood).
7. Escalate.
@BBoy
That's a good opportunity to command her "would you come closer please". But you beat this in the first place by deciding the sitting arrangement from the beginning.
Yes agreed, with experience you build a little flexibility into your process, and it's better. Note that this is still a process though.
But for a start, it's good to have reference points.
Cheers,
Seppuku
The process means you already have an idea of what you want to get from the date, before the date, and organize everything around this goal. In particular, you need to be clear whether you're going to pull her home or not. This should be your ultimate goal, but if you're not yet there in your learning curve, you could have other goals, like learning to read her body language, learning to behave sexy, cool and collected, gain confidence, etc... I was doing this initially when I started - but I lost many girls to this.
The quicker you learn the first date pull, the better. Here's what my process looks like.
1. Contact the girl, build a little rapport, and get her details. I use mostly online game, but cold approach day game, or night game, etc... would do equally well, it's up to you.
2. Very early on, set up the date. Beat the iron while hot. The majority of my successful interactions occurred when the first date happened within 2 to 4 days of contact.
3. Meet her on a bar / restaurant (bar better) close to your home. Make sure you have plenty of time ahead. You'll need at least two hours of face to face, and two more hours at your place later. I like to start around 7pm, in order to be finished by 11pm.
4. Build up emotional and physical comfort. She's here, she already likes you, she just needs to be comfortable around you. Deep dive, touch a lot.
5. When you think she's comfortable, propose her to come to your home on any pretext. If you're not sure if she's comfortable yet, it's better to propose anyway, because there's a likelihood you'll never see her again.
6. At home you'll have to do a little comfort building again (change in place, change in mood).
7. Escalate.
@BBoy
Bboy100 said:
That's a good opportunity to command her "would you come closer please". But you beat this in the first place by deciding the sitting arrangement from the beginning.
Yes agreed, with experience you build a little flexibility into your process, and it's better. Note that this is still a process though.
But for a start, it's good to have reference points.
Cheers,
Seppuku
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2012
- Messages
- 798
Sorry if this sounds like a non answer but you can't really think it it as doing steps A to Z in order and have it work.
Believe me. I'm an engineer. That's my world. Follow well tested set of steps and get the same result each time. So this took some time to click
Old Mystery Method was like this. Do everything in order. But it's too rigid. What happens when the girl isn't going as fast as your routines or she's skipping steps for you. If you're learning, it throws you off. And you aren't being very natural. Your following a sequence or script.
It depends on the situation, location, time of day, her interest level, etc. I've done in 10 minutes at night what I might do over hours getting to know someone on dates. Over time you'll learn to adapt.
The very basic process is to meet, small talk, banter, deep dive, in between you can read her body language so yiu can thread in some touching and leading to a kiss and finally sleeping together. That's all very vague but the blog posts on here all cover specifics of each step. That's all... when you're with her, go with the flow. If you feel you *should* be deep diving but she's talking about her girlfriends, just go with it, banter, don't force a step to advance, just use it to lead and gradually lead things so it grows. Don't rush or push a step if she's not feeling it yet.
Lastly, biggest lesson I ever learned. We're talking about humans here, with feelings and emotions and often things in their life which have nothing to do with you. Sometimes girls don't go with your flow, aren't into it, or just don't get it. And that's ok. Just learn to spot that too, so you know when it's better to move on and not end up focusing on one girl who's not so into you, the next one will. She deserves your attention.
Believe me. I'm an engineer. That's my world. Follow well tested set of steps and get the same result each time. So this took some time to click
Old Mystery Method was like this. Do everything in order. But it's too rigid. What happens when the girl isn't going as fast as your routines or she's skipping steps for you. If you're learning, it throws you off. And you aren't being very natural. Your following a sequence or script.
It depends on the situation, location, time of day, her interest level, etc. I've done in 10 minutes at night what I might do over hours getting to know someone on dates. Over time you'll learn to adapt.
The very basic process is to meet, small talk, banter, deep dive, in between you can read her body language so yiu can thread in some touching and leading to a kiss and finally sleeping together. That's all very vague but the blog posts on here all cover specifics of each step. That's all... when you're with her, go with the flow. If you feel you *should* be deep diving but she's talking about her girlfriends, just go with it, banter, don't force a step to advance, just use it to lead and gradually lead things so it grows. Don't rush or push a step if she's not feeling it yet.
Lastly, biggest lesson I ever learned. We're talking about humans here, with feelings and emotions and often things in their life which have nothing to do with you. Sometimes girls don't go with your flow, aren't into it, or just don't get it. And that's ok. Just learn to spot that too, so you know when it's better to move on and not end up focusing on one girl who's not so into you, the next one will. She deserves your attention.