FU Professional Social Event

[BarryS1]

I met an older girl (early 30s) 3 weeks ago at a 20-30s professional meetup.com event on a Thursday. We meet at the end of the night, so I brought her to McDonald’s for an insta-date. There was a big language barrier between us, but I kept going. I invited myself over to her place three times until throwing in the towel and moved to the car. I failed escalating for the kiss twice and she left my car abruptly by driving away. I was spooked from the 2nd LMR reaction that I never texted her again.

Went to a meetup.com social event by myself for younger professionals in the area. The event was at a restaurant’s event room with a bar and tables spread throughout. The room was not crowded with around 40-50 people at the highest point. I recently realized social circle is a lot more fun than day game approaches, but did not prepare ahead. I did not know what type of opener to use besides indirect-direct with a LONG wait for the direct part.

My goal: Approach 10 girls

My aim: Invite a girl to dinner for an insta-date

Series of events:
-Bought drink, meet some cool people, and approached 1st girl group.
-Approached another girl group.
-Got one girl to sit down with me and proposed lunch next week – she accepted.
-Approached girl at bar by herself – she asked for my card, but forgot to ask her out.
-Approached a guy in the group then turned to girl later.
-Got her to sit down with me and invited her to McDonald’s by her place.
-Met at McDonald’s and had sexual conversation.
-Invited myself over 3 times, but rejected each time.
-Invited her to car, but got failed escalation after trying to kiss her twice.
-She left the car without a goodbye and drove off right away.

Here’s the approach for the last girl:

Spotted a girl (Latina, brunette, curvy) talking to one of the photographers so I open to the photographer first.

Me: Still taking pictures huh?

Photographer: No I got all the ones I need. Do you guys want a picture together?

Me: I’m sure you have enough, I’m good.

(Photographer says something to girl then leaves)

Me: How’s your night going so far?

Girl: (Thick latin accent) It’s going pretty good, yeah. Is this your first meetup for the group?

I deep-dived on her occupation real quick before I offered her to sit down. I continued deep-diving on her country origins, how long she’s been here, ect. Her tall guy friend in a suit interrupted us by kissing her on the check and saying goodbye. The guy offered his hand with a smile, so I thought “sure why not” and shook back. She asked if I lived around here suddenly, so I offered if she wanted to grab something to eat. I grabbed her phone number and said I am leaving to McDonald’s now (because that was by her place).

I walk into McDonald’s at 9pm, with her on my heels and paid for our milkshakes separately. The conversation over the last hour was the most sexual piece of art I’ve ever sewed together. Here’s the most important pieces:

(The conversation had about 2 min of small talk before this)

Me: So you were talking about going to school in Guatemala, how was that?

Girl: (blah, blah, blah – I don’t really remember).

Me: It must have been great weather there. Ever take adventures to the beach?

Girl: I lived more in the mountainous areas, but the beach was nice (blah, blah, tropical reefs-n shizz).

Me: Okay, don’t make me imagine you in a swimsuit!

Girl: Haha! (squirmed in her seat) Oh, I’m so pale. I hardly ever go in the sun.

(She started to really wake up and give more to the convo)

Me: Pale? Your skin looks like winter-set olive. Compare that to me, you’re ravishing. (Offers my arm out and she touches it). Do you have any tan-lines?

Girl: Noooo, I don’t (Pulls back blouse strap and looks at her shoulder).

Me: I thought all Latin girls loved the water! I mean, the beaches must be sooo pristine.

Girl: Oh, I do like the water. I got a pool in my apartment complex and one of my friends, he came over.

Me: Are you trying to get me in a speedo?

Girl: Haha! (another surprised expression – she’s squirming in the chair again). Do guys really wear that in America?

I invited myself to her place for a nightcap, but she did not know what that meant. After explaining, she playfully said no and said work started at 8am the next day. I carefully explained that I have a busy schedule and she probably wouldn’t see me again.

She changed the subject and went on a tangent about the different cultures in the bay area.

Me: That’s refreshing to meet someone open minded learning more about different cultures.

Girl: Oh, thank you.

Me: You sure you didn’t go to the meetup group for meeting exotic white guys?

Girl: You mean for dating? (giggles). I don’t know.

Me: You had an aurora about you that drew me in. What do you think of me so far?

Girl: Oh, I didn’t know you were interested in me. I saw you come to the cameraman first.

Me: You caught my eye at the last second.

Realized I made a mistake with the situational opener, PLUS I am loosing time. I invite myself over to her place for the second time, but get resistance. She explains that her house is dirty and doesn’t want any guests over. I explain how having a dirty house doesn’t matter and that we should have margaritas anyway. She offers resistance again, so I invite myself over the third time and say “take it or leave it”. She says she doesn’t know me that well to invite me over.

I invited her to by car, then got up and left without waiting – she followed. Here’s the failed escalation in the car.

Me: Do you like my ring?

Girl: Yes, whats the name of the mineral?

Me: Tungsten, sorry if my hands are cold.

Girl: Oh.

Me: Let’s see if this makes it better. (Grabs her nearest hand).

Girl: Okay (giggles).

(I eventually grab both of her hands, to warm them up, but proceed to escalate by kissing her. She resists by turning her head to the side, letting me kiss her cheek.)

Me: Your hands are not working. How about I put them between your legs. (I put my hands between her inner thighs).

Girl: Are you always like this? (She has a worried tone to her voice and things go downhill).

Me: Don’t be ridiculous, I’m just affectionate. I do not want to make you nervous, just let me know.

(She goes off topic about the weather and how late the time is. I try kissing her again, but she pulls away, gets out of the car, and drives away).



Mistakes:
-Declined a picture with the girl.
-Approaching the wrong person in the group (she told me confusion later).
-Horrible situational opener.
-Horrible logistics – don’t invite yourself over on a weekday night DUH!!!!
-Could not kiss her in car.

I do not regret testing my limits, but blame the failure on horrible logistics. I think ending the data at McDonald’s would have been a better idea, she got upset I was holding up her schedule. Thinking in her shoes, I would not go home with someone at 10pm if I had work the next morning. I had the next day (Friday) off, so I wasn’t worried about my schedule. This was the first conversation where I pulled together a sexual vibe – this will be my homework for the next couple months.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Barry,

Nice work with this report. I think your principal drawback in this encounter is that you made sexual advances on her either before she was ready to receive them, or perhaps too late. I know persistence is huge and important, but if she's not vibing with your persistence and you push it on her anyway (thus trying to force her to acquiesce on your advances), it's actually a major turn-off on her side. This is one where I think you needed to spend more time being sexual, using frames, getting to know her, and making her more comfortable with the idea of being physical with you. I think what's missing in this report is sexuality/having her imagine being sexual with you and getting her panties wet. She didn't sound turned on, and perhaps that means the encounter was too platonic.

She asked if I lived around here suddenly, so I offered if she wanted to grab something to eat. I grabbed her phone number and said I am leaving to McDonald’s now (because that was by her place).

Good read. She asked where you live - meaning she might want to go there. Sounds like a transitional point, or an escalation window. Maybe a better approach would have been to propose that you grab food and drop her off at her place and eat food there (or at your own place and drop her off later), rather than how you spent time at McDonalds and thus added a second step in between which lasted an hour and thus made it too late in her mind to go and have sexual fun.

Girl: I lived more in the mountainous areas, but the beach was nice (blah, blah, tropical reefs-n shizz).

Me: Okay, don’t make me imagine you in a swimsuit!

Girl: Haha! (squirmed in her seat) Oh, I’m so pale. I hardly ever go in the sun.

(She started to really wake up and give more to the convo)

Me: Pale? Your skin looks like winter-set olive. Compare that to me, you’re ravishing. (Offers my arm out and she touches it). Do you have any tan-lines?

Girl: Noooo, I don’t (Pulls back blouse strap and looks at her shoulder).

Me: I thought all Latin girls loved the water! I mean, the beaches must be sooo pristine.

Girl: Oh, I do like the water. I got a pool in my apartment complex and one of my friends, he came over.

Me: Are you trying to get me in a speedo?

Girl: Haha! (another surprised expression – she’s squirming in the chair again). Do guys really wear that in America?

I like that you got her thinking about you in a speedo. Might want to experiment with adding a little more of a subtle sexual edge to those statements.

I invited myself to her place for a nightcap, but she did not know what that meant. After explaining, she playfully said no and said work started at 8am the next day. I carefully explained that I have a busy schedule and she probably wouldn’t see me again.

First attempt to pull; she rejected. It doesn't sound like your attitude of having a busy schedule/she wouldn't see you sat with her the way you hoped.

Me: You sure you didn’t go to the meetup group for meeting exotic white guys?

Girl: You mean for dating? (giggles). I don’t know.

Me: You had an aurora about you that drew me in. What do you think of me so far?

Girl: Oh, I didn’t know you were interested in me. I saw you come to the cameraman first.

Me: You caught my eye at the last second.

Sounds like she didn't understand what you wanted with her. To me this points out that maybe you didn't make this clear enough earlier on, and there wasn't enough in the previous conversations for her to imagine being sexual with you.

I invite myself over to her place for the second time, but get resistance. She explains that her house is dirty and doesn’t want any guests over. I explain how having a dirty house doesn’t matter and that we should have margaritas anyway. She offers resistance again, so I invite myself over the third time and say “take it or leave it”. She says she doesn’t know me that well to invite me over.

Second fail. She told you what she wants - to know you better. At this point your best bet would probably have been to cut your losses on this night and get her out on a second date where logistics were more in your favor, and where you can work on bringing out the sex better by making her more comfortable with it.

(I eventually grab both of her hands, to warm them up, but proceed to escalate by kissing her. She resists by turning her head to the side, letting me kiss her cheek.)

Me: Your hands are not working. How about I put them between your legs. (I put my hands between her inner thighs).

Girl: Are you always like this? (She has a worried tone to her voice and things go downhill).

Me: Don’t be ridiculous, I’m just affectionate. I do not want to make you nervous, just let me know.



(She goes off topic about the weather and how late the time is. I try kissing her again, but she pulls away, gets out of the car, and drives away).

This just sounds awkward. She probably felt that you and her weren't on the same page in that moment and then she exited.

All in all a good failure, in my opinion.

 

[BarryS1]

Ozzo,

Thanks for the feedback! I'm getting into the meetup.com social scene too. I have a lot in common with folks from the social group (young professionals), but its new seduction territory. Plus being sexual is a sticking point for me since the beginning of the year.

I am thinking about playing around with the swimsuit phrase you pointed out and turning it more sexual. Maybe:

-Qualification sexual frame: I really admire girls who can physically expose themselves and not feel ashamed or self-conscious.

-Complement (Dale Carnegie) sexual frame: I like how you are adventurous enough to sneak off with me to McDonald's.

What do you think?

This is one where I think you needed to spend more time being sexual, using frames, getting to know her, and making her more comfortable with the idea of being physical with you. I think what's missing in this report is sexuality/having her imagine being sexual with you and getting her panties wet. She didn't sound turned on, and perhaps that means the encounter was too platonic.

I definitely did not get any reaction other than giggles - something that's confirming she wasn't turned on. There was a spanish language barrier, but I don't think that would of prevented her from being sexual.