Socializing Proxemics - Why seducers should know about that

[POB]

From wikipedia: Proxemics is the study of human use of space and the effects that population density has on behaviour, communication, and social interaction. It is one among several subcategories in the study of nonverbal communication, including haptics (touch), kinesics (body movement), vocalics (paralanguage), and chronemics (structure of time).

As a graduate in architecture, I had to study proxemics way back in the day at college.
Basically what this field teaches us is the relationship between physical distances, personal spaces and human interactions.

For example, we are much more inclined to walk closer to a flat painted wall than one covered with rugged stones.
The same can be said when we have to walk a narrow corridor and another person comes in the opposite direction.
Instinctively we pick a side and try to stay as far away from each other!

A recent bad example of ppl not being aware of proxemics:
There's a security guy at work who has the bad habit of shoving his thermometer in peoples foreheads.
Nobody likes it because he's just invading peoples intimate space (When he did that to me I just backed of and said: GTFOH, here's my wrist...damn man).

As a seducer, you have to be aware of this dynamic!
Common mistake 1: guy invades her intimate space too fast and without warning, like the clueless security dude.
Common mistake 2: guy stays on her social space too long bc he is afraid of her reaction if he comes closer (I was guilty of this for a long time).

Most naturals and experienced seducers already know this instinctively, so they are able to "tell" when it's the right time to get closer and invade more of her space. But if you are unsure, here's the most basic tips:
- after the initial opener and conversation, if she compliments you, smiles at you or touches you casually, its a big "tell" that you should move closer and switch from social to personal or personal to intimate;
- once you isolate, you push/pull between personal and intimate distances and only go back to social if you want to break rapport or punish bad behavior;

And that's it.

Some caveats:
Night-game is the easier path to great proxemic dynamics because sometimes people are forced to concede their intimate space boundaries, specially on crowded venues, so the numbers on the image will sure not apply.

But if you are doing day-game, it's a little bit trickier to close the gap and get into her intimate space.
Even so there's no excuse to not try once you get her hooked!

Hope that helps

~POB

 

[Fuck This]

I notice women put themselves IN my personal space when they are interested. Across the table they lean in, sitting next to me they snuggle into me, standing they get well within arm's reach to talk (usually under the guise of "hearing better"). I respond with Kino and Threir reaction tells me all I need to know...

Take a photo with someone...If they cozy up to you they are interested...especially when they get "kissing close"

 

[Beck Bass]

I was doing an "group interview" for some shitty hipster new age type of bank, for IT, and the guy evaluating me while I was trying to solve logically complex problems was like GLUED to me with his little notepad taking notes. Like WTF, I wanted to PUNCH his fucking face, like can't he fucking take a clue? And he just kept there...

Needless to say, I didn't get the internship (thank God, once I tried making an international order that got processed by them and they wanted to "confirm" my credit card by me telling how much was charged in dollars on my card - less than one dollar - but with taxes that fluctuate and me only being able to see the value in my local currency, I had no fucking way of telling, I was never able to purchase and they didn't even refund the "test" money - bunch of fucktards. My friend works there now and say they don't pay that well, me having a similar but way more chill and well paying job am I like, knew it).

Minding personal space is really important, and not being afraid of getting intimate with girls soon (or right away, really) can really sink you in your escalation.

 

[POB]

I notice women put themselves IN my personal space when they are interested. Across the table they lean in, sitting next to me they snuggle into me, standing they get well within arm's reach to talk (usually under the guise of "hearing better"). I respond with Kino and Threir reaction tells me all I need to know...

Yes, this is very powerful indeed.
I had women get wet on first dates just by gently touching their legs and caressing their thighs.
It's a mix of "what are you doing" with "please don't stop, this is sooo nice".
They lean in, I touch the legs as a welcome gesture - but don't let go and double down on it.

Of course they don't realize what they are doing when they invade your intimate space (most women don't) just because it's a very natural reaction when they like your presence (much like touching the hair and exposing the neck to invite you to come closer).

Take a photo with someone...If they cozy up to you they are interested...especially when they get "kissing close"

This is an awesome tell that you should spend time with her!

 

[foggy]

proxemics

v. cool post @POB

here's my verbal opening process lately

FOG: excuse me
FOG: ive got something important to tell you...
FOG: main opener blablalba

now get this, before you posted this i was trying to figure out....exactly how far away i need to be from the girl when i say "excuse me" as i move towards her. after a little bit of experimentation, i narrowed it down to 3 sidewalk squares. turns out 3 of these squares equals 4.5 metres, which is in the public space according to that nifty picture at the start of your post! then the rest is delivered while continuing to move towards her and stopping in her social space or personal space, depending on her receptivity. exactly how many sidewalk squares the rest happens in? idk, im still narrowing down the proxemic variables here.

FOG: excuse me [public space]
FOG: ive got something important to tell you... [social space]
FOG: main opener blablalba [social/personal space]

 

[POB]

proxemics

v. cool post @POB

here's my verbal opening process lately



now get this, before you posted this i was trying to figure out....exactly how far away i need to be from the girl when i say "excuse me" as i move towards her. after a little bit of experimentation, i narrowed it down to 3 sidewalk squares. turns out 3 of these squares equals 4.5 metres, which is in the public space according to that nifty picture at the start of your post! then the rest is delivered while continuing to move towards her and stopping in her social space or personal space, depending on her receptivity. exactly how many sidewalk squares the rest happens in? idk, im still narrowing down the proxemic variables here.

Perfect example of it's applicability @fog
Glad it makes sense to you
I just didn't want this to be theoretical BS, but rather show there's a "scientific side" to hovering and approaching.