PUA Dilemma

[Sly]

This post has to do with both Relationships/Advanced Pick-up, so I just chose this section as I'm hoping for responses from more experienced members on Girlschase.

I learned of Girlschase probably around December 2012. I immersed myself in Chase's material, as it really spoke to me. Not only was the material very well written and detailed, I found myself agreeing with most of Chase's advice. After ending a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend in May of 2012, my entire next year I was passionate in developing my skills with women, as although I am a natural conversationalist, I realized I needed some improvement in my game. So after months of reading and rereading Girlschase articles and the forum, I found myself progressing in pickup. At this same time I was reading a lot of Mystery and RSD material, which I will get into further in this report. Most of experiences aren't up on the board out of pure laziness (as you can tell from the posts I do have up, that when I write, I write in detail). That being said, I have my fair share of hookups and I was fairly happy at how my game evolved, thanks to this site.

On my quest to improve on pickup, I soon found a lot of my interactions to get very boring, very fast. It wasn't because I wasn't engaging the girls, but because I was using a lot of canned material (learned through Mystery), while out doing night game, contrary to Chase's advice. I just started off with canned material as it seemed fairly easy to implement. I used it until I found what worked for me and then ended up sticking to it. After hundreds of interactions, I started to just get bored of flirting with women, as although my interactions could spike their interest and often led to us hooking up, I felt like a robot doing the same routine over and over again. Don't get me wrong, a lot of my own skill and knowledge contributed to my success in pickup, as conversations were not purely rehearsed but a chunk of the opener and beginning routine was. Obviously later into the interaction I'd have to adapt to the specific situation and woman, which I had no problem in doing because of Girlschase. Still I was getting quite bored...

On the contrary, during day game and game within my social circle I would use more of what I learned about conversation here on Girlschase and my natural abilities to flirt with women, which I found to be very beneficial and more "REAL".

So the first thing I wanted to outline is the fact that routines are great for beginners, but one mustn't forget that this is just a beginner strategy and should not be used as a crutch.

This all leads to the main part of the post. After really improving my game, I met a girl who completely took me by surprise. As I said, picking up girls became a generic routine and kind of a chore for me, which I felt was getting really boring and at times too easy (I know it's ridiculous I'm complaining about picking up girls, but everyone likes a challenge!). So I met this girl and tried to run game on her but she just wasn't having it. After months of trying to get her to hang out, with the hope to purely hook up, she agreed to go on a date. After the first date, I realized I was potentially interested in her more than just physically and eventually ended up asking her to be my girlfriend.

So now we've been dating close to 3 months and not to jinx it but she is honestly the most ideal girlfriend: sweet, considerate, trustworthy and trusting, open, affectionate and understanding, aside from the fact that she's gorgeous. I am 21 years old and she is 20. I know a lot of people may not agree with me, but after a 3 year relationship I told myself not to get exclusively involved with someone unless I see a potential future with that person. In my head, why invest time being exclusive to someone you plan on breaking up with eventually if you can just enjoy your time sleeping with random women? After a lot of consideration I saw a lot of our values were in line and therefore considered a future together to be possible, so I decided I could date her.

This is the issue: At 21 years old I am by no means ready to settle down. As well, I don't know if I am ready to have this girl as the last woman I am ever with, there are still many woman I'd love to get with (and feel I'm able to cause of my newfound skills)-- so am I wasting my time in this relationship? Or should I be thankful I have such an amazing girlfriend and take it day by day and stop thinking about my future?

I know this is very lengthy, but I’ve just been really torn up over this. I would really appreciate hearing some input from the more experienced members on their takes on relationships, while having the ability to still pick up girls.

SLY

 

[Richard]

Sly,

My first response is a heart-felt one. One of applause, one of concern, one of understanding, one of timing, and one of jealousy.

You've written this at precisely the right time, because I had begun to feel stagnant with women. I joined this site looking to find a LT girlfriend, and haven't been able to find one, and your post has been pretty revealing.

Anyway, I write with a bit of bias obviously, but, I'll share my opinion nevertheless.

Stay.

Amidst your robotic, auto-piloted interactions which got you laid (presumably quite often), you came across one who stood out. We've all met with women who challenge our PU skill, but this girl is different for you.

If she is ideal for you, if it took you all this time to find that girl who stood out, it seems like a waste to not make the most out the affinity you have for her, as well as hers for you.

This is just a personal biased opinion. At the end of the day, you decide what is most important for you, whether it's multiple short term flings, or this girl with the potential to be a long-term companion.

As a more practical explanation for you, Chase has talked about how he only dates women who have given him that immediate feeling upon first glance, and that feeling is usually mutual. He has dated, as he's mentioned often, many of these women. So, the possibility to find another girl who is as you described again exists. But, as I stated previously, the decision is yours Sly.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Sly,

You are at a sticking point. It's either this two things, and it's quite scary that it actually happens. It's either

1) You leave her
2) or she feels that you ain't desiring her, thus break up in one to two years later.

It happen with my last one. She's the best i found at that time. Hardworking, Supportive, Empowering, but what she desire is marriage, and i can't gave that. The piece of advice i can offer from you is either you look for expansion with her or she will automatically starts to feel you neglect her. if you happen to be a strong man and go after what he wants. You most likely break up if there's no expansion.

IT happens with my parents, my friends, everywhere, really. The ones that stay together actually are either they have reach an age where it's hard to find partners, or they stay for children, yet the marriage or relationship is just stagnant, a mutual one where it is only by title.

Zac

 

[Sly]

Zphinx,

Before I respond to your post I want to first say how impressed I am with what I've seen with you on the forum. I was a frequent reader of the forum for quite some time but since the summer after getting into a relationship, I haven't kept up with it (as I wasn't so focused on pickup anymore-as you can imagine). Since getting back on I've seen a lot of your posts and have been truly impressed- most recently just your conversation from your first college class- btw job well done! So a response from you is greatly appreciated.

You present some really good points. It did take me a long time (1 year to be exact) to find a girl I was truly interested in since my last girlfriend and I was meeting lots of girls. Even though throughout that year I wasn't looking for a relationship, I remember constantly thinking that the caliber of woman I was meeting and hooking up with, was so poor on a personality and dating level. I believe this is all due to my improved game and thus greater confidence in picking up women, thanks to Girlschase, which really made me believe I only deserve women of the highest caliber. Chase has taught me to never settle! But what is "settling" is the issue....

I do agree that I was lucky enough to find a woman I have such admiration for amidst my robotic pick-ups, but I still wonder about the other possibilities out there. I know I'm being ridiculous cause even as I'm writing this post at work- I get a call from her out of no where to come pick me up from work because I usually take the bus home (not to mention I work completely out of the way for her). She is honestly sooo great! Nothing I'd want to change about her. Thinking about the future together and her being my last just really trips me up!

I still see other women though and can't help imagining getting the job done and getting them back to my place... Plus you bring up a good point with Chase dating multiple women he thinks are worthy of his time investment.

SLY

 

[Richard]

First off, I thank you for your compliment about my progress and my skill. Just from the way you write and speak, I know you're a man of a high caliber, and that in it of itself makes the compliment much more meaningful. You seem to be a high quality person.

Chase has taught me to never settle! But what is "settling" is the issue....

Anyway, to the actual response. In my opinion, "settling," is accepting anything less than what you feel you deserve. Settling is a self-imposed quality, it's something that is unique to every individual. If you feel like you deserve a high caliber women, then don't accept being with one who isn't.

From the qualities you've listed about what the "ideal" woman (in other words the woman you feel you deserve) is for you, then you seem to have found a candidate. You said yourself that this girl is YOUR IDEAL girlfriend, thus, should you decide to stay with her, then you're not settling because she lives up to, and probably surpasses the qualities you look for in a woman.

Instead of logically thinking about what to do, planning out your next move. Take it one day at a time with this girl and see where things end up. Your inner struggle between choosing her and choosing other lays should sort itself out if you don't press the issue in yourself. Take a few steps back, and relax, and I know this is easier said than done.

In writing this, I've actually just helped myself with a dilemma I'm facing. I find that when you continually think about an issue of cognitive dissonance, it only gets worse, it progresses and eventually consumes you. If you are able to let things be within yourself, if you are able to take a few steps back and just let things pan out naturally, then you should.

-Richard

 

[Sly]

Zac, I appreciate the time you took to respond to the post. Thanks.

I understand that is important that you expand and grow with your partner, but I think I misunderstand why you believe I have two options both of which end up with me breaking up with my girlfriend. Is it because of the fundamentals of PUA?

Richard,

That was one of the most articulate and meaningful posts I've read on Girlschase. Thank you. Your logic behind "settling" was completely reasonable and I totally agree with you. As my girlfriend's characteristics are ideal characteristics for a girlfriend, than there is no way I am settling! You are correct to say that she does surpass expectations continuously, as I think I would have been willing to overlook a lack of certain important personality traits I wanted in a girlfriend, as I thought no one will perfectly fit my mold. She's proven me wrong, as not once have I had to overlook the lack of personality traits to make the relationship work, as she is everything I want in a girlfriend! If I had to overlook certain things, I guess that's what would be categorized as "settling."

As well, I think you're completely right in regards to my inner struggle. I tend to overanalyze situations and confuse myself, which I have clearly done here. I believe I must just take a step back, breath and appreciate the woman I am so lucky to have. Yes, having different women regularly is fun and exciting but so is this relationship plus it's very fulfilling in additional ways.

I'm glad my post gave you some inner clarity, as it did the same for me. Thanks again for your responses. Truly appreciate your advice Richard.

SLY

 

[Richard]

No problem at all Sly. You're a lot like myself, and I mean that in a good way. Once again, thank you for your compliment

I'm positive you'll handle things well, and it sounds like you've come to grios with your struggle, and it also sounds like you've made a wise decision.

For future reference, if you need any help or advice, don't hesitate,

Richard

 

[trashKENNUT]

Sly,

Zac, I appreciate the time you took to respond to the post. Thanks.

I understand that is important that you expand and grow with your partner, but I think I misunderstand why you believe I have two options both of which end up with me breaking up with my girlfriend. Is it because of the fundamentals of PUA?

1) You leave her

This is when you decide that you cannot give her what she wants. and you decided that you want to learn more about women, and grow, which is what you write below.

At 21 years old I am by no means ready to settle down. As well, I don't know if I am ready to have this girl as the last woman I am ever with, there are still many woman I'd love to get with (and feel I'm able to cause of my newfound skills)-- so am I wasting my time in this relationship? Or should I be thankful I have such an amazing girlfriend and take it day by day and stop thinking about my future?

From a third person point of view, You are telling that your girlfriend is an issue. As a man, you expand, you sometimes look at other girls and wonder if you can impregnate them. It's a man's thing, and the way to manage that is expansion with your girlfriend, thus curbing your natural instincts in another way.

2) or she feels that you ain't desiring her, thus break up in one to two years later.

I suggest finding expansion with your girlfriend or number 2 will happen. Go travel together, Move in together, Do things new together. For Westerners/America, i am not sure about the 2 year drop, but in Asia, the girls i know who have their boyfriends for 4 to 5 years without marriage, yet, is because of the way that Asians tend to have lesser partners, the culture. I don't actually believe it now, because Asia is getting liberal somewhat.

Zac

 

[The Tool]

This all leads to the main part of the post. After really improving my game, I met a girl who completely took me by surprise. As I said, picking up girls became a generic routine and kind of a chore for me, which I felt was getting really boring and at times too easy (I know it's ridiculous I'm complaining about picking up girls, but everyone likes a challenge!). So I met this girl and tried to run game on her but she just wasn't having it. After months of trying to get her to hang out, with the hope to purely hook up, she agreed to go on a date. After the first date, I realized I was potentially interested in her more than just physically and eventually ended up asking her to be my girlfriend.

So now we've been dating close to 3 months and not to jinx it but she is honestly the most ideal girlfriend: sweet, considerate, trustworthy and trusting, open, affectionate and understanding, aside from the fact that she's gorgeous. I am 21 years old and she is 20. I know a lot of people may not agree with me, but after a 3 year relationship I told myself not to get exclusively involved with someone unless I see a potential future with that person. In my head, why invest time being exclusive to someone you plan on breaking up with eventually if you can just enjoy your time sleeping with random women? After a lot of consideration I saw a lot of our values were in line and therefore considered a future together to be possible, so I decided I could date her.

Its ultimately up to you too decide. But I myself have been in a 7 month exclusive relationship and I couldnt be happier. When you find that one girl that makes you question pickup, or going to to get new girls even the slightest. YOU FRICKIN HANG ON TO HER!!!!

These past 7 months have been some of the happiet with my girlfriend. And I'm sure it would be the same with you. And because your pickup skills are great, you can now work on another skill which is the hardest and most difficult of all. The relationship skill.

Cheers, The Tool

 

[Sly]

Tool,

I appreciate the insight. Definitely comforting to seeing others like yourself who are experienced at pick up, settling down for the right girl. Glad you're so happy with your girlfriend. Only the best in the future!

I do believe there is a ton of potential in this relationship, so you're right, it's got to be the right move to hang onto her. And yes, trying to develop my relationship skills as we speak.

SLY

 

[trashKENNUT]

whoopsie, Sorry Sly, I realise it was only 3 months. Guess you get bored of girls as fast as i am. Sheesh.

Zac

 

[The Tool]

Tool,

I appreciate the insight. Definitely comforting to seeing others like yourself who are experienced at pick up, settling down for the right girl. Glad you're so happy with your girlfriend. Only the best in the future!

I do believe there is a ton of potential in this relationship, so you're right, it's got to be the right move to hang onto her. And yes, trying to develop my relationship skills as we speak.

SLY

Thanks Sly. Glad to hear it Best of luck to you and your girl

 

[Chase]

Sly-

When I was new to getting girls, I ended up meeting a really kickass, amazing girl who, like you, I had to chase after for several months and pull off masterful (for that stage in my evolution) game to get together with - I had to leverage everything I knew: social proof, preselection, investment, attainability; the works. And it was worth it - she was truly awesome, wonderful to be with, challenging to be with, and I grew more with her than most other people in my life.

All the same though, I knew I hadn't arrived at where I needed to get to yet with girl skills and my own personal identity, and I'm the type that once girls have him, they don't want to let go... for me, it was, "If I settle down NOW, there's a very good chance that's it, because she won't want to leave, and I won't be confident enough to feel like I can leave, even if I get an itch or feel vaguely like I'm missing out on something."

So, ultimately, I refused her an exclusive relationship, and still managed to continue on with her for several years. (that was a brutal pill for me to swallow at the time, by the way; every emotion in my body was screaming out for me to just give this girl every damn thing she asked for, promise her fidelity, and make her completely happy because she was just so great. In retrospect, I think the relationship was more exciting, fulfilling, and memorable for her because I WASN'T tamable, and I'm certainly glad I continued pushing myself to learn instead of settling into an exclusive relationship)

Most people need a certain level of experience with dating before they reach a point where they feel comfortable picking one partner and hanging up their spurs. You're always going to have a bit of unease and feel like there are stones perhaps left unturned before you reach that experience level, even if you have a really amazing girl... because at the back of your mind, that one thought is always there: "What if there's someone even MORE amazing out there... an even BETTER fit for me? And I'm with someone who is not as perfect a fit?"

That said, you're still quite young at 21, and she is at 20. Outside of the highly religious, I rarely see relationships people are engaged in at that age last more than a year or two at most; eventually you hit the 2 year drop, and you're NOT going to have kids with her at 23 to stave that off I don't think.

So I probably wouldn't worry about it. Relationship experience is experience worth having, and unless you have the stomach or the craziness to put yourself through the meat grinder of balancing a committed relationship with a great girl with continuing to pick up and sleep with women like I did when new, you'll probably need to take some time off from game to have it.

Also - your first real relationship always feels like the one that's going to be "forever" - happens to girls and to guys alike. Eventually doubts or boredom starts to seep in, usually - but before that happens, you've got plenty of room to enjoy yourself and have a great time with your girl and bring a lot of value and smiles and good memories into her life.

Chase

 

[Sly]

Chase,

I want to begin by thanking you for all your insight and guidance you and your site have provided for me over the last year. You're advice is always clear, concise and stellar. I respect you tremendously.

I completely understand where you're coming from with your own situation regarding your first "girlfriend". I contemplated doing the same thing as you, just keeping her around as she was so great while managing to maintain no commitment, for the same reason as you stated--feeling you haven't reached your peak of pick up and wanting to continue to grow. Ultimately, as you can tell I gave in- I am exclusive to her. Although I do still wonder about all the exciting possibilities out there, I am extremely happy with my decision and I know it's specifically because of this girl.

In a couple weeks I'm going back to college without my girlfriend and we've even decided to try out long distance. I've attempted long distance before with my ex and I know how difficult it can be. After my past experiences, I truly believe that if it was any another girl or the relationship wasn't as satisfying and stable as mine is now, I would definitely end things. Any advice with regards to long distance?

I do agree that the relationship experience is experience worth having, I personally just don't want to look back at the time spent with my gf (if we break up), as time wasted (felt that way after I broke up with my ex of 3YEARS). My time is extremely valuable to me! So even though I agree that this experience is valuable, I personally would never date someone for pure experience if I foresaw the end of the relationship. For that reason, with all due respect I hope you're wrong and our relationship stays fun and exciting in the future. I know there are possibilities for all sorts of outcomes though.

I'm wondering as I see we have similar mindsets- do you believe you'll ever settle down if you know you have the pickup skills to continuously get with high caliber women? Why settle for one, if you know you could get more? Will every monogamous relationship get stale and dry for you?

Again, thanks for your response. Means a lot to me.

SLY

 

[Chase]

Any advice with regards to long distance?

Only piece of advice - make sure you're seeing each other (and sleeping together) at least once every 3 weeks - and it's far, far preferable for her to come to see you.

I'm wondering as I see we have similar mindsets- do you believe you'll ever settle down if you know you have the pickup skills to continuously get with high caliber women? Why settle for one, if you know you could get more? Will every monogamous relationship get stale and dry for you?

Most of the time, I have a really amazing girlfriend who checks off all my boxes, but if I go too long without sleeping with new women it becomes very aggravating to me. I think it comes down to what you view as most important in life - for many people, their relationships are the most important things in their lives. For me, these are of secondary or tertiary importance - the MOST important thing in my life are my accomplishments and contributions to the species, of which, to-date, I have vanishingly few, if any. The problem with monogamy is that men in monogamous relationships who give up pursuing other women see marked declines in their testosterone levels - which lead to marked declines in their productivity and output levels. If I go a few months without new women, I notice my testosterone levels, motivation, and more declining, and that is very deeply disturbing to me.

There's a very good reason why men's productivity on average falls dramatically after age 30 or 35 - that's when most men have been in settled, committed, monogamous relationships for a while, and their emotional motivation to achieve has dropped, their risk-taking has vanished, and their ability to accomplish much is (probably forever) a thing of the past.

Which perhaps is okay if your relationship is the center point of your existence... you don't need to be a testosterone-fueled achievement monster to maintain a committed relationship, and in fact, lowered levels of testosterone probably make you more suited to this - your desire to stray falls away, and your comfort with remaining settled goes up.

For me though, relationships play a support role, rather than take center stage, and the need to stay motivated - which means testosterone, and which means new women - is of greater importance than a monogamous relationship is.

Chase

 

[DAMKY]

Any advice with regards to long distance?

Only piece of advice - make sure you're seeing each other (and sleeping together) at least once every 3 weeks - and it's far, far preferable for her to come to see you.

I'm wondering as I see we have similar mindsets- do you believe you'll ever settle down if you know you have the pickup skills to continuously get with high caliber women? Why settle for one, if you know you could get more? Will every monogamous relationship get stale and dry for you?

Most of the time, I have a really amazing girlfriend who checks off all my boxes, but if I go too long without sleeping with new women it becomes very aggravating to me. I think it comes down to what you view as most important in life - for many people, their relationships are the most important things in their lives. For me, these are of secondary or tertiary importance - the MOST important thing in my life are my accomplishments and contributions to the species, of which, to-date, I have vanishingly few, if any. The problem with monogamy is that men in monogamous relationships who give up pursuing other women see marked declines in their testosterone levels - which lead to marked declines in their productivity and output levels. If I go a few months without new women, I notice my testosterone levels, motivation, and more declining, and that is very deeply disturbing to me.

There's a very good reason why men's productivity on average falls dramatically after age 30 or 35 - that's when most men have been in settled, committed, monogamous relationships for a while, and their emotional motivation to achieve has dropped, their risk-taking has vanished, and their ability to accomplish much is (probably forever) a thing of the past.

Which perhaps is okay if your relationship is the center point of your existence... you don't need to be a testosterone-fueled achievement monster to maintain a committed relationship, and in fact, lowered levels of testosterone probably make you more suited to this - your desire to stray falls away, and your comfort with remaining settled goes up.

For me though, relationships play a support role, rather than take center stage, and the need to stay motivated - which means testosterone, and which means new women - is of greater importance than a monogamous relationship is.

Chase

The problem with monogamy is that men in monogamous relationships who give up pursuing other women see marked declines in their testosterone levels - which lead to marked declines in their productivity and output levels

Did you mean that when you "get married" you just accomplish the most important "task" in people life: to settle down.
So if that the most important "task" (contrary to your most important one) it make you less desire to fulfill yourself, because you already did. And as a result your productivity falls?

My "PUA Dilemma" is a bit different. (but maybe It's because I'm pretty young)
It's include the sentence of " Why settle for one, if you know you could get more" and "you know some time in the future statistically speaking you probably either going to divorce or live unhappy life. Or even may just live happy life but with lowered passion at best. So why do this if you can live happy with any girl?"

But then, I imagine myself alone in age 60, probably harder to find great young girls.. it could be bad.

Also then I think to myself: "I will want children in the far future, so I will need to marry a girl some point in time", "So may I just do it really in the far future".
But there are repercussions on my children if I do it too late. If I do it after age 40 I'll be at age 58 when they got 18. If I'll do it after my children probably don't meet my parents and will live without grandparents. After that I'll probably don't see them grow and marry and will not see their children. It could make me regret…

What your point of view? Can I ask you how old are you? (I guess like 32-36 based on your stories that include years..). Do you want children? (I think that you want it because I read the way that you understand the purpose of life)

What do you think?
Hard subject..

Thanks.

 

[charming]

Any advice with regards to long distance?

Only piece of advice - make sure you're seeing each other (and sleeping together) at least once every 3 weeks - and it's far, far preferable for her to come to see you.

I'm wondering as I see we have similar mindsets- do you believe you'll ever settle down if you know you have the pickup skills to continuously get with high caliber women? Why settle for one, if you know you could get more? Will every monogamous relationship get stale and dry for you?

Most of the time, I have a really amazing girlfriend who checks off all my boxes, but if I go too long without sleeping with new women it becomes very aggravating to me. I think it comes down to what you view as most important in life - for many people, their relationships are the most important things in their lives. For me, these are of secondary or tertiary importance - the MOST important thing in my life are my accomplishments and contributions to the species, of which, to-date, I have vanishingly few, if any. The problem with monogamy is that men in monogamous relationships who give up pursuing other women see marked declines in their testosterone levels - which lead to marked declines in their productivity and output levels. If I go a few months without new women, I notice my testosterone levels, motivation, and more declining, and that is very deeply disturbing to me.

There's a very good reason why men's productivity on average falls dramatically after age 30 or 35 - that's when most men have been in settled, committed, monogamous relationships for a while, and their emotional motivation to achieve has dropped, their risk-taking has vanished, and their ability to accomplish much is (probably forever) a thing of the past.

Which perhaps is okay if your relationship is the center point of your existence... you don't need to be a testosterone-fueled achievement monster to maintain a committed relationship, and in fact, lowered levels of testosterone probably make you more suited to this - your desire to stray falls away, and your comfort with remaining settled goes up.

For me though, relationships play a support role, rather than take center stage, and the need to stay motivated - which means testosterone, and which means new women - is of greater importance than a monogamous relationship is.

Chase

Chase, I really appreciate your raw honesty in this response. I'm currently contemplating these same questions and appreciate how definitively your answers line up with your stated goals and chosen value system. Thank you for giving further insight to those of us following along with your journey through this site and its articles.

 

[Chase]

DAMKY-

Did you mean that when you "get married" you just accomplish the most important "task" in people life: to settle down.

For many people, consciously or unconsciously, reproduction/children is/are the crowning achievements of their lives, and once they have them, they switch from risk-taking and adventurous to risk-averse and cautious, trying to preserve what they've achieved, and casting aside other concerns to focus on these.

So if that the most important "task" (contrary to your most important one) it make you less desire to fulfill yourself, because you already did. And as a result your productivity falls?

Essentially. The hungry man fights harder for the t-bone than the man with a full belly.

My "PUA Dilemma" is a bit different. (but maybe It's because I'm pretty young)
It's include the sentence of " Why settle for one, if you know you could get more" and "you know some time in the future statistically speaking you probably either going to divorce or live unhappy life. Or even may just live happy life but with lowered passion at best. So why do this if you can live happy with any girl?"

This is everyone's dilemma when young.

It changes as you age.

What your point of view? Can I ask you how old are you? (I guess like 32-36 based on your stories that include years..). Do you want children? (I think that you want it because I read the way that you understand the purpose of life)

I'll be 31 early next year. I view children as an important milestone to cross, if purely from a logical point of view. I've never had a strong emotional drive for children (and honestly, I've met few men younger than, say, 35 or so, who do), but for a variety of reasons, these days I view children as the ultimate logical goal of any committed sexual union, and think long-term relationships by older people that don't produce children seem a little silly and superfluous by nature (when you're younger, you need the experience of having relationships without the burden of children to learn about how relationships work and figure out how you want to run yours and what you'll tolerate from a partner and what you want; when you're older, the only reason to have long-term relationships without children is if you need the emotional support or lack the time or energy to meet attractive new women, neither of which seem like especially good reasons to me for an older man to stay attached - he's simply acting out his programming without fulfilling its end goal, which makes him appear rather impotent when you consider it in that light).

Chase

 

[trashKENNUT]

Chase,

Don't do it man. Yes i know children is an ultimate goal as a human being but if you get married against your own will, it makes you retarded, considering your knowledge.

Trust me, some of my older uncles and aunties divorce and get back together on and off looks terrible. And you know about that person who married a sub-par women.

As a friend, i am telling you i always wanted a daughter, and a son, too. But i likely try to divorce my wife before i get settled. And also i want to live with lesser drama. I tend to be a reserve person.

p.s. and unless you have a child without getting married. Then my comment is out of context.

Zac

 

[Marty]

p.s. and unless you have a child without getting married. Then my comment is out of context.

Hey Zac, see Chase's article How to Be a Man Women Chase and Pursue. Specifically this:

To have children with high quality women without getting locked down

To me, that has to be the Holy Grail of the GirlsChase learning process. Near-impossible to achieve for all but the best, though