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Van Hammer

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So I went out to a local bar last night and really made an effort to put some of the prinicipals that Chase has outlined to work. The results: met two new women and got their numbers and saw an old semi-gf from years back and had a good convo. I'll post details on the 2 new girls. The old girlfriend isn't somebody I'm really pursuing although, it would be nice. She was their with her BF but I go a chance to talk to her while she was alone at the bar. Had a good convo, wanted to ask for her number but just felt too uncomfortable as her boyfriend was sitting right behind us. Anyway, here are the details on the other two...

-Girl #1: Cute blone, just finished college: So this establishment was pretty packed last night. It's a two-floor, popular bar that attracts some well known local bands. Packed with college kids either enjoying the last week of winter vacation or just finishing up school. Me and my buddy are upstairs, at the bar, waiting to be served when I spot a cute blonde to my left playing with her phone that happens to have a minney mouse phone case. Without even saying hi, i grab her phone and start giving her crap about the case, saying that I'm jealous and wish I had a cool phone case like that. I asked her if she brought her coloring books along as well, lol. She was digging it and laughing. I really tried to maintain my body language the whole time... relaxed, composed, good eye contact, slow movements, etc. We got to talking and attempted the deep dive (not sure if this is exactly deep diving but i tried)... I found that that she just graduated from a small town school and how she preferred small towns to a big city. I listened most of the time and then mentioned that I used to live in a small town as well. She started asking me all kinds of questions about where, how I liked it, etc. Seemed like we made a pretty decent connection...any feedback on whether or not this is the correct "deep dive" method would be appreciated. WE chatted for about ten minutes and then my buddy started being a dick, complaining that it was hot up there and wanted to go back downstairs. While the convo still had a little life left to it, I asked her if she'd like to get a drink some time....she said yes and had her put her digits in my phone. I stuck around for a few more minutes but could feel a hint of awkward silenece creeping in....I told her to enjoy her drink, that I would text her, and got out of there. Seemed to go pretty well so I'm planning on texting her today...any ideas on what to say?

The awkward silence part kind of annoyed me.... I need some strategies on what to do when that happens. I'm good at carrying a conversation and the beginning but when things die down a bit, i get flustered and it probably shows in my body language as well. Also, I'm guessing the one mistake I made was that I didn't relocate with her?

-Girl #2: Another cute blonde, lives and works in the area. This was the same upstairs bar, towards the end of the night. This time I was waiting to close my tab out. I opened her with a sarcastic comment on the "awesome" service we were getting and go to talking from there. This interaction was different than the above one in that I relied more on body language/flirting than the deep diving and deep conversation. I don't remember much of the convo other than the end...we were talking about some of the local bars and I mentioned this new one that opened up. She said she hadn't been and i offered to be her "tour guide". She agreed, gave me her number, and pulled me in for a hug. Again, this was at the end of the night so I don't remember the details of what we talked about but I could feel the attraction and I just felt "on" with the body language, eye contact, sly james bond smile, etc. Again, hoping to text this girl tonight as well. Any ideas on what to say would be great.

All in all, I think things went pretty well. I made it a point not to drink a lot as this has always ruined my game in the past. It's nice to wake up and remember the new numbers in your phone lol. I think my body language was probably my strongest asset last night. It gave me confidence to open and engage in the initial part of the conversations. I think my weaknesses, while not terrible, were the conversation and certain moments of awkward silence. My mind just goes blank sometimes and i have trouble switching to different topics of conversation. I believe this affects body language as well. Also, regarding the fliriting/sarcastic banter-- I'm kind of inconsistant in this area. Sometimes I'm really, really good...I feel like i can't miss, everything I say is funny/engaging, etc. Other times...not so much. I'd like to shore this area up as well and be more consistant.

Again, any advice, feedback, comments would be awesome. I'm looking to absorb as much information as possible and really take this part of my life to new levels. I'm 26, good looking, workout/have a good body, good job and going to school. There's no reason why I can't be dating the type of girls, for lack a better term-- 8's, 9's, and 10's, that I desire. Thanks, all.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

aliparpar

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Van Hammer said:
Without even saying hi, i grab her phone and start giving her crap about the case
Hahaha one of the ballsiest approaches ever! Glad she didn't slap you in the face wanting her phone back :). But that shows confidence is 200% . Well done! but don't do it with every girl you see .

Van Hammer said:
Seemed to go pretty well so I'm planning on texting her today...any ideas on what to say?
"Hey Sarah, Glad to meet you today at the bar. -Ali"
If she already knows you want to ask her out You MAY skip this step and just try to set a date instead.

Van Hammer said:
The awkward silence part kind of annoyed me.... I need some strategies on what to do when that happens. I'm good at carrying a conversation and the beginning but when things die down a bit, i get flustered and it probably shows in my body language as well. Also, I'm guessing the one mistake I made was that I didn't relocate with her?
Glad you managed to get the phone number at the end and getting out of the convo yourself. Although, the best approach was to go for the number in the high point of the convo. For example, when she was asking you a lot of Qs in the middle, halfway through you could (At thehigh point when you know she was hooked for more) tell her : "You know what, why not we grab a lunch tomorrow to tell you the rest? "
This is will both create some intrigue and land you the number smoother. If you see convo is dying and you already have the number just try to make an excuse to leave and exit the convo sooner than her to increase the intigue and your coolness.

Van Hammer said:
She agreed, gave me her number, and pulled me in for a hug
Sounds like she was giving you some signs. Maybe you could try to pull her home instead and skip steps? Maybe next time. A number is also good.
When you see the interaction is getting flirty already and she's agreeing for anything like "Touring bars?" maybe she's already interested in you . So why not asking her if she wants to get out of there ? ;)

Van Hammer said:
My mind just goes blank sometimes and i have trouble switching to different topics of conversation

Try connecting dots together in a conversation. For example, if she was talking about her town, you can ask her about her town more or change the topic to some more interesting topics like why she travelled in your city or so. Try to use last sentence of a conversation and relate it to yourself and other topics.

There are still lots of points you can improve. Also, you can develop this mindset that getting numbers are not a big deal. This will help you more with the rest of the interaction.

Cheers
Ali
 

stratvm

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i find nightgame phone numbers completely useless to be honest. think 99% of the girls want to get laid same night and if you dont pull they lose interest.
 

A Life Loquacious

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stratvm said:
i find nightgame phone numbers completely useless to be honest. think 99% of the girls want to get laid same night and if you dont pull they lose interest.

I'd have to agree with this. I used to base my whole strategy round getting numbers at the weekend and trying to date them in the week and even if they seemed really keen to meet up when giving me their number, 9/10 never even respond to calls or texts afterwards. In fact they would often be the ones to volunteer their number first: "call me in the week, we'll go out and do xxx on Wednesday" - then silence when you do (with hindsight that was probably a compliance and lack of leadership issue!) I don't even think 99% of them know they want to get laid that night, or don't intend to talk to you again, it's just like some kind of subconscious instinct they have.
 

Van Hammer

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Funny you guy say that..... because neither of them answered my texts. Ouch, lol. Onward and upward, I guess.
 

Addicted2height

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I only have about a %30 success rate for numbers at night. Generally if you've managed to make out with them they will reply
Personally I try to to txt on the same night
"Hey ....! It was great to meet you tonight :) Shame you/I got pulled away... Should totally meet up later! Addicted"
Shame about the no reply... But more numbers means more of a chance :)

Hope it helps
 

Van Hammer

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So should I maybe text these two girls again? My initial texts were pretty straight forward...good meeting u, lets gets a drink, etc. Maybe in a day or two I could try a more flirtatious/banter text to see if I could get a response?
 
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