Qualification

[Jan]

I've recently read @Warped Mindless article about Feyman's Learning Technique. If you follow the method, you were supposed to learn things fast.

ATTN Newbies: here is how to improve fast!

Introducing The Feynman Technique Ive now been a member of the “seduction community” since 2006 and in that time I have seen a ton of people come and go; many of these guys struggle to learn this stuff at any reasonable pace. Often many of them simply give up and quit. Learning about seduction...

www.skilledseducer.com

I decided to give it a try to learn Qualification.

One of the elements of this technique is 'Teaching what you learn to others'.

I've been learning and practicing 'Qualification' in my seduction journey. And so I'm going to 'teach' YOU about qualification.

In this post I would like to present my theoretical understanding, and then I will follow with my field experience in the Journal or Field Reports section.

Feel free to comment, correct me, add content/context etc.

WHAT IS QUALIFICATION?

Qualification is GIVING APPROVAL.

A man can give approval (qualify) a woman, or a woman can give approval to a man.

In the the seduction context, qualification is closely linked with a chase frame.

The most desirable frame for seduction is when a man is a prize in woman's eyes, and when she seeks his approval and gives it her.

Speaking in general terms, seeking approval is feminine and giving approval is masculine.

To understand why giving approval is masculine, think about all authority roles which give approval in real life, eg. father, teacher, leader, king, boss, etc.

Who is asking for approval? Mostly kids. And this is why when a nice guy asks for woman's approval, she is turned off. When a nice guy is asking for an approval he is either broadcasting feminine or childlike energy.

QUALIFICATION FROM FEMALE GAZE (HOW WOMEN SEE QUALIFICATION)

Why does she want to be qualified by you? Because she wants to GET APPROVAL from a high value man. HOWEVER, It is important for her that she feels qualified about her female role for something OTHER THAN HER PHYSICAL BEAUTY. Why something other than her beauty? Because she knows that beauty is not permanent. She knows that in order to keep a high value man around she will need some qualities (qualifications) to keep him around.

When a high value man qualifies her on one of her personality traits, not only she feels validated (which is pleasant at the moment), but she also feels safe about the future. As long as she keeps having this quality (which shouldn't be difficult, because she already have it, and it's not fading away like her beauty), she can relax.

In other words, she is AFRAID that a man would leave her when her beauty fades. If he likes her for something other than her beauty though, she doesn't have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. Fear goes away and she can relax. This is how qualification increases comfort.

QUALIFICATION AND READING 'THIS' WOMAN

The question remains: WHAT should you qualify her on?

QUALIFICATION AND PACING

In my view, the best qualifier to start with is WHAT SHE WANTS TO BE QUALIFIED ON. But how do you know what does she want to be qualified on?

You just need to listen. You need to listen to what she is telling you ABOUT HERSELF. If it's a positive thing, it's something SHE WANTS TO IMPRESS YOU WITH. Pay attention to that. If you can qualify her on that, it's great. Why? Because you can be sure that this will have EMOTIONAL IMPACT. If she is qualifying herself on a certain quality, you can assume it's important or relevant to herself.

Last week, a girl I'm currently dating invited me to her place. She was preparing a dish for her Christmas dinner. She really wanted me to try it. I did and immediately after I qualified her on her cooking (approved of her cooking skills). She loved my praise and it made a big emotional impact on her.

This type of qualification, I call PACING QUALIFICATION. You are not trying to lead her anywhere, instead you communicate that you are LEARNING AND APPRECIATING something about her. You are helping her understand why you like her. You are removing uncertainty and you are moving closer to the COMMON ATTRACTION moment. Decreasing uncertainty also improves your attainability.

QUALIFICATION AND LEADING

This is the further stage of qualification, more helpful in the late game. Once she is attracted to you and she is comfortable with you, you can LEAD HER. You can lead her with QUALIFICATION. But this time, instead of reading the qualifier, you pick the one which will lead her to where you want to go.

QUALIFICATION - LEADING TO ONS

Disclaimer: this is an example from AFC Adam Lyons' speech on qualification, which I think it's a really good resource if you don't mind dealing with his super fact speeking pace.

Qualifier 1: Fun and friendly traits

ME: "Do you know what I like about you? You are fun and friendly. I can tell that you about, you are really outgoing. That's a cool quality that I like."

Qualifier 2: Flirty vibe

ME: "You are not just fun and friendly. You've got this fun and friendly, flirty vibe. You've got a little bit of interaction when you are kind of messing around, one minute you are being cool, next minute you are being a little bit sexy. That's a really cool look, I like that. In fact, I try to not hang around people who can't flirt. You are one of these few people that can. I will give 5 out of 5 for flirting. High five!" [Qualifier + qualify HER + disqualify if not + emotional spike]

Qualifier: Cute-sexy vibe

ME: "You know what's funny about you? You've got this flirty vibe in that cute-sexy way. Not just that normal cute way, but cute-sexy. Normal cute is like Care Bear or Little Pony. That's not really sexy. You've got that sexy vibe going on, when you are sort of like... "Oh I'm reallly innocent, don't touch me. [SWITCH OF VOICE] Let's have sex. I love that. That's a really cool look and that's something I really like about you."

Qualifier: Spontaneous and adventurous traits

ME: "Hey, are you spontaneous? Yeah, I thought so. Spontaneous is fun. Spontaneous and fun, it's always a good combination. Do you know what I like to add to that? Being adventurous. There are people who are spontaneous and fun, but they are doing the same shit over and over again. I'm spontaneous and fun. Let's go and drink. Again... Adventerous is when you do something a bit different. Is that you? Spontanenous, fun and adventarous? Oh, that's really cool. Hey, let's go grab a drink."

Qualifier: not being a NPC, doing what she wants

ME: "Do you know what's really funny? I met a girl like you a few weeks ago. She was just like you. We were getting along very well, you know chatting, having fun, vibing. We ended up making out and having sex. Do you what was so funny about her? Everything was going fine you know, but I found out. She was one of these sheep chicks, you know. [HER BEING CURIOUS]. Her friends ask her to do this, she does this. Her friends ask to do that, she does it. Always following her friends. These sheep people aren't cool. You aren't one of these people, are you?"
HER: "No, I do what I wanna do."

I'm going to follow up this post with threads about my field experience with qualification.

 

[Kaida]

Great post bro

Do you know what's really funny? I met a girl like you a few weeks ago. She was just like you. We were getting along very well, you know chatting, having fun, vibing. We ended up making out and having sex.

I’ve thought of doing something like this, but doesnt this come off as too direct? If I said this I’d imagine a girl could tell I’m trying to plant the seed pretty obviously

 

[Jan]

Great post bro



I’ve thought of doing something like this, but doesnt this come off as too direct? If I said this I’d imagine a girl could tell I’m trying to plant the seed pretty obviously

It could be too direct depending on the stage of the interaction. Bear in mind that this quote is THE LATE PART OF THE FULL SCRIPT. It's the mid-late part of the game when this type of qualification/suggestion is more likely to work.

Also, like everything in seduction, you have to try it yourself and calibrate, to really see if it's gonna work.

 

[Hue]

I've recently read @Warped Mindless article about Feyman's Learning Technique. If you follow the method, you were supposed to learn things fast.

ATTN Newbies: here is how to improve fast!

Introducing The Feynman Technique Ive now been a member of the “seduction community” since 2006 and in that time I have seen a ton of people come and go; many of these guys struggle to learn this stuff at any reasonable pace. Often many of them simply give up and quit. Learning about seduction...

www.skilledseducer.com

I decided to give it a try to learn Qualification.

One of the elements of this technique is 'Teaching what you learn to others'.

I've been learning and practicing 'Qualification' in my seduction journey. And so I'm going to 'teach' YOU about qualification.

In this post I would like to present my theoretical understanding, and then I will follow with my field experience in the Journal or Field Reports section.

Feel free to comment, correct me, add content/context etc.

WHAT IS QUALIFICATION?

Qualification is GIVING APPROVAL.

A man can give approval (qualify) a woman, or a woman can give approval to a man.

In the the seduction context, qualification is closely linked with a chase frame.

The most desirable frame for seduction is when a man is a prize in woman's eyes, and when she seeks his approval and gives it her.

Speaking in general terms, seeking approval is feminine and giving approval is masculine.

To understand why giving approval is masculine, think about all authority roles which give approval in real life, eg. father, teacher, leader, king, boss, etc.

Who is asking for approval? Mostly kids. And this is why when a nice guy asks for woman's approval, she is turned off. When a nice guy is asking for an approval he is either broadcasting feminine or childlike energy.

QUALIFICATION FROM FEMALE GAZE (HOW WOMEN SEE QUALIFICATION)

Why does she want to be qualified by you? Because she wants to GET APPROVAL from a high value man. HOWEVER, It is important for her that she feels qualified about her female role for something OTHER THAN HER PHYSICAL BEAUTY. Why something other than her beauty? Because she knows that beauty is not permanent. She knows that in order to keep a high value man around she will need some qualities (qualifications) to keep him around.

When a high value man qualifies her on one of her personality traits, not only she feels validated (which is pleasant at the moment), but she also feels safe about the future. As long as she keeps having this quality (which shouldn't be difficult, because she already have it, and it's not fading away like her beauty), she can relax.

In other words, she is AFRAID that a man would leave her when her beauty fades. If he likes her for something other than her beauty though, she doesn't have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. Fear goes away and she can relax. This is how qualification increases comfort.

QUALIFICATION AND READING 'THIS' WOMAN

The question remains: WHAT should you qualify her on?

QUALIFICATION AND PACING

In my view, the best qualifier to start with is WHAT SHE WANTS TO BE QUALIFIED ON. But how do you know what does she want to be qualified on?

You just need to listen. You need to listen to what she is telling you ABOUT HERSELF. If it's a positive thing, it's something SHE WANTS TO IMPRESS YOU WITH. Pay attention to that. If you can qualify her on that, it's great. Why? Because you can be sure that this will have EMOTIONAL IMPACT. If she is qualifying herself on a certain quality, you can assume it's important or relevant to herself.

Last week, a girl I'm currently dating invited me to her place. She was preparing a dish for her Christmas dinner. She really wanted me to try it. I did and immediately after I qualified her on her cooking (approved of her cooking skills). She loved my praise and it made a big emotional impact on her.

This type of qualification, I call PACING QUALIFICATION. You are not trying to lead her anywhere, instead you communicate that you are LEARNING AND APPRECIATING something about her. You are helping her understand why you like her. You are removing uncertainty and you are moving closer to the COMMON ATTRACTION moment. Decreasing uncertainty also improves your attainability.

QUALIFICATION AND LEADING

This is the further stage of qualification, more helpful in the late game. Once she is attracted to you and she is comfortable with you, you can LEAD HER. You can lead her with QUALIFICATION. But this time, instead of reading the qualifier, you pick the one which will lead her to where you want to go.

QUALIFICATION - LEADING TO ONS

Disclaimer: this is an example from AFC Adam Lyons' speech on qualification, which I think it's a really good resource if you don't mind dealing with his super fact speeking pace.

Qualifier 1: Fun and friendly traits

ME: "Do you know what I like about you? You are fun and friendly. I can tell that you about, you are really outgoing. That's a cool quality that I like."

Qualifier 2: Flirty vibe

ME: "You are not just fun and friendly. You've got this fun and friendly, flirty vibe. You've got a little bit of interaction when you are kind of messing around, one minute you are being cool, next minute you are being a little bit sexy. That's a really cool look, I like that. In fact, I try to not hang around people who can't flirt. You are one of these few people that can. I will give 5 out of 5 for flirting. High five!" [Qualifier + qualify HER + disqualify if not + emotional spike]

Qualifier: Cute-sexy vibe

ME: "You know what's funny about you? You've got this flirty vibe in that cute-sexy way. Not just that normal cute way, but cute-sexy. Normal cute is like Care Bear or Little Pony. That's not really sexy. You've got that sexy vibe going on, when you are sort of like... "Oh I'm reallly innocent, don't touch me. [SWITCH OF VOICE] Let's have sex. I love that. That's a really cool look and that's something I really like about you."

Qualifier: Spontaneous and adventurous traits

ME: "Hey, are you spontaneous? Yeah, I thought so. Spontaneous is fun. Spontaneous and fun, it's always a good combination. Do you know what I like to add to that? Being adventurous. There are people who are spontaneous and fun, but they are doing the same shit over and over again. I'm spontaneous and fun. Let's go and drink. Again... Adventerous is when you do something a bit different. Is that you? Spontanenous, fun and adventarous? Oh, that's really cool. Hey, let's go grab a drink."

Qualifier: not being a NPC, doing what she wants

ME: "Do you know what's really funny? I met a girl like you a few weeks ago. She was just like you. We were getting along very well, you know chatting, having fun, vibing. We ended up making out and having sex. Do you what was so funny about her? Everything was going fine you know, but I found out. She was one of these sheep chicks, you know. [HER BEING CURIOUS]. Her friends ask her to do this, she does this. Her friends ask to do that, she does it. Always following her friends. These sheep people aren't cool. You aren't one of these people, are you?"
HER: "No, I do what I wanna do."

I'm going to follow up this post with threads about my field experience with qualification.

I hope your quotes around what you're saying aren't exact.

These are paragraphs of repetition and would, in almost any circumstances, be uncalibrated.

Especially the last one, lol, any girl with 2 brain cells would be able to see that you're gamey and run for the hills... people just, don't talk like that.


You seem to understand the basic concept of qualifying. Now it might be better for you to practice it in a more simple manner, in a way that actually flows like a conversation... not a monologue or a rant.

You: "Have you ever traveled out of the country, or just stayed out here your whole life?" (Queues her to not sound boring, and then explains her travels in a not boring way. Aka "qualifying herself")

Her: "Oh I could never just stay here - yea! I've been to Mexico!"

You: "Mexico? Pretty cool place. (Lightly qualifying)

You: "I've heard stories of people getting pretty crazy there. Are you the type to just stay locked up in your hotel the whole time, or did you go out an explore?" (Queues her again to sound fun, and not boring)

Her: "Our resort was super nice so it was nice to relax there with my family. But my sister and I went out in Cancun! Hehe" (Qualifies herself and opens up the door to get more details / evidence she's fun)

You: "Love that for you. It's cool being in a different country, experiencing a new version of life, a new version of yourself. Was it exciting?" (Sets frame that you enjoy new, exciting things)

Her: "Yeah it's pretty crazy with the partying, everyone was really nice to us!" (Qualifies herself that she is fun, opens up door to partying)

You: "Haha yeah everyone just has this lust for adventure in a party location like that - did you or your sister do anything really spontaneous? I promise I won't tell your parents..." (Sets frame that you enjoy adventure, with a subtle sexual frame using the words lust + really spontaneous)

Her: "Haha well, [tells adventurous / spontaneous / sexual detail] (Qualifies herself as adventurous)

You: "Very interesting haha. You seem like someone who's fun to be around " (Finally, you qualify her that she passes [probably passes, anyway lol never qualify her too much. Don't want to shoot attainability too high] and she seems like a fun person, now that she's given evidence of her being adventurous)


Girls usually aren't total open books (unless they learn to trust you). It's best to ask questions that slowly get them to open up. Then as they give you answers, try to lead them to giving you answers that shows they can be fun, intelligent, spontaneous, adventurous, etc.

When they give you evidence for having those traits, that could be a good opportunity for you to qualify them.

This way, they have to "earn" your interest and respect, in a way that engages them emotionally, and makes them feel comfortable with being open / adventurous around you.

Hue

 

[Will_V]

I've recently read @Warped Mindless article about Feyman's Learning Technique. If you follow the method, you were supposed to learn things fast.

ATTN Newbies: here is how to improve fast!

Introducing The Feynman Technique Ive now been a member of the “seduction community” since 2006 and in that time I have seen a ton of people come and go; many of these guys struggle to learn this stuff at any reasonable pace. Often many of them simply give up and quit. Learning about seduction...

www.skilledseducer.com

I decided to give it a try to learn Qualification.

One of the elements of this technique is 'Teaching what you learn to others'.

I've been learning and practicing 'Qualification' in my seduction journey. And so I'm going to 'teach' YOU about qualification.

In this post I would like to present my theoretical understanding, and then I will follow with my field experience in the Journal or Field Reports section.

Feel free to comment, correct me, add content/context etc.

WHAT IS QUALIFICATION?

Qualification is GIVING APPROVAL.

A man can give approval (qualify) a woman, or a woman can give approval to a man.

In the the seduction context, qualification is closely linked with a chase frame.

The most desirable frame for seduction is when a man is a prize in woman's eyes, and when she seeks his approval and gives it her.

Speaking in general terms, seeking approval is feminine and giving approval is masculine.

To understand why giving approval is masculine, think about all authority roles which give approval in real life, eg. father, teacher, leader, king, boss, etc.

Who is asking for approval? Mostly kids. And this is why when a nice guy asks for woman's approval, she is turned off. When a nice guy is asking for an approval he is either broadcasting feminine or childlike energy.

QUALIFICATION FROM FEMALE GAZE (HOW WOMEN SEE QUALIFICATION)

Why does she want to be qualified by you? Because she wants to GET APPROVAL from a high value man. HOWEVER, It is important for her that she feels qualified about her female role for something OTHER THAN HER PHYSICAL BEAUTY. Why something other than her beauty? Because she knows that beauty is not permanent. She knows that in order to keep a high value man around she will need some qualities (qualifications) to keep him around.

When a high value man qualifies her on one of her personality traits, not only she feels validated (which is pleasant at the moment), but she also feels safe about the future. As long as she keeps having this quality (which shouldn't be difficult, because she already have it, and it's not fading away like her beauty), she can relax.

In other words, she is AFRAID that a man would leave her when her beauty fades. If he likes her for something other than her beauty though, she doesn't have to be afraid of abandonment anymore. Fear goes away and she can relax. This is how qualification increases comfort.

QUALIFICATION AND READING 'THIS' WOMAN

The question remains: WHAT should you qualify her on?

QUALIFICATION AND PACING

In my view, the best qualifier to start with is WHAT SHE WANTS TO BE QUALIFIED ON. But how do you know what does she want to be qualified on?

You just need to listen. You need to listen to what she is telling you ABOUT HERSELF. If it's a positive thing, it's something SHE WANTS TO IMPRESS YOU WITH. Pay attention to that. If you can qualify her on that, it's great. Why? Because you can be sure that this will have EMOTIONAL IMPACT. If she is qualifying herself on a certain quality, you can assume it's important or relevant to herself.

Last week, a girl I'm currently dating invited me to her place. She was preparing a dish for her Christmas dinner. She really wanted me to try it. I did and immediately after I qualified her on her cooking (approved of her cooking skills). She loved my praise and it made a big emotional impact on her.

This type of qualification, I call PACING QUALIFICATION. You are not trying to lead her anywhere, instead you communicate that you are LEARNING AND APPRECIATING something about her. You are helping her understand why you like her. You are removing uncertainty and you are moving closer to the COMMON ATTRACTION moment. Decreasing uncertainty also improves your attainability.

QUALIFICATION AND LEADING

This is the further stage of qualification, more helpful in the late game. Once she is attracted to you and she is comfortable with you, you can LEAD HER. You can lead her with QUALIFICATION. But this time, instead of reading the qualifier, you pick the one which will lead her to where you want to go.

QUALIFICATION - LEADING TO ONS

Disclaimer: this is an example from AFC Adam Lyons' speech on qualification, which I think it's a really good resource if you don't mind dealing with his super fact speeking pace.

Qualifier 1: Fun and friendly traits

ME: "Do you know what I like about you? You are fun and friendly. I can tell that you about, you are really outgoing. That's a cool quality that I like."

Qualifier 2: Flirty vibe

ME: "You are not just fun and friendly. You've got this fun and friendly, flirty vibe. You've got a little bit of interaction when you are kind of messing around, one minute you are being cool, next minute you are being a little bit sexy. That's a really cool look, I like that. In fact, I try to not hang around people who can't flirt. You are one of these few people that can. I will give 5 out of 5 for flirting. High five!" [Qualifier + qualify HER + disqualify if not + emotional spike]

Qualifier: Cute-sexy vibe

ME: "You know what's funny about you? You've got this flirty vibe in that cute-sexy way. Not just that normal cute way, but cute-sexy. Normal cute is like Care Bear or Little Pony. That's not really sexy. You've got that sexy vibe going on, when you are sort of like... "Oh I'm reallly innocent, don't touch me. [SWITCH OF VOICE] Let's have sex. I love that. That's a really cool look and that's something I really like about you."

Qualifier: Spontaneous and adventurous traits

ME: "Hey, are you spontaneous? Yeah, I thought so. Spontaneous is fun. Spontaneous and fun, it's always a good combination. Do you know what I like to add to that? Being adventurous. There are people who are spontaneous and fun, but they are doing the same shit over and over again. I'm spontaneous and fun. Let's go and drink. Again... Adventerous is when you do something a bit different. Is that you? Spontanenous, fun and adventarous? Oh, that's really cool. Hey, let's go grab a drink."

Qualifier: not being a NPC, doing what she wants

ME: "Do you know what's really funny? I met a girl like you a few weeks ago. She was just like you. We were getting along very well, you know chatting, having fun, vibing. We ended up making out and having sex. Do you what was so funny about her? Everything was going fine you know, but I found out. She was one of these sheep chicks, you know. [HER BEING CURIOUS]. Her friends ask her to do this, she does this. Her friends ask to do that, she does it. Always following her friends. These sheep people aren't cool. You aren't one of these people, are you?"
HER: "No, I do what I wanna do."

I'm going to follow up this post with threads about my field experience with qualification.

There's some understanding of what qualification is in your post, but those examples are going to be a little much. You're doing way too much talking and that makes it less effective.

You want a girl to be talking a lot, that way qualification almost happens by default. When she talks about herself, particularly on topics that are critical to her identity, she naturally starts looking for approval from you. That's why deep diving works so well. When she's talking and talking sometimes all you need is to narrow your eyes a bit to make her start justifying, or lean slightly toward her to make her feel approved. You can add in some teasing (for disapproval) and compliments (for approval) to make it even more clear.

The way I typically like to do it early in the approach when I'm doing most of the talking is:
1. She says something about herself
2. I act suspicious/tease/add pressure
3. She justifies herself
4. I approve

An example might look something like:

Her: "I'm an accountant."
Me (narrows eyes and smiles a tad): "Does that mean you're like a walking calculator?"
Her: "Haha no I'm more so coordinating with investors."
Me: "Oh that makes more sense, you seem fun and outgoing."
Her: "I am!"

Whereas on the date I usually focus on deep diving and getting her to qualify that way, using mainly body language to add or release pressure, and to escalate.