Advanced Technique Quick Dominance Primer (2010)

[Chase]

Originally posted in the first Girls Chase Forum on Monday, 28 June 2010

Kenj mentioned something in another thread about occasionally being out-dominated or out-led by other guys. I used to have this happen to me on a more-or-less regular basis, and it never failed to drive me nuts. It's almost never a problem anymore, so I figured I'd share what I think is probably a good series of steps for guys looking to build up their dominance to follow, starting from a guy who struggles to be dominant all the way up to a guy a little above my level. I'm sure you can take it even farther, so more dominant guys than me, feel free to chime in!

Consider that dominance and compliance are nearly one in the same. Dominant guys get compliance all over the place, and guys who get compliance end up being pretty dominant guys by default after a while. It's just the way it works. So a focus on improving compliance and investment will improve overall dominance levels. You can also consider it a focus on effort: get girls putting in more work than you, and you'll be in pretty solid shape.

• Basic Dominance
  
• Get in the habit of asking girls to do things that will get them contributing:
  • "Can I see your hand? Looks like a cool bracelet you have on."
  • "Mind if I try that [food]?"
  • "I'm going to XYZ place. Care to join me?"
• Get in the habit of putting small degrees of social pressure on girls:
  • Stare intensely into their eyes
  • Position yourself physically close to them
  • Escalate on them physically

Intermediate Dominance

• Get in the habit of telling girls to do things that will get them contributing:
  • "Let me see your hand."
  • "Let me try a bite of that."
  • "I'm going to XYZ place. Come with me."
• Get in the habit of putting larger degrees of social pressure on girls:
  • Use screening and qualifying
  • Make it clear that you have standards, and state your firmly held opinions (in high attainability ways)
  • Escalate faster, more intimately, and more adroitly
  • Move women soon into an interaction

Advanced Dominance

• Get in the habit of assuming compliance:
  • Look at a girl's hand curiously, then slowly lift up close to your face to inspect her bracelet
  • Point to her food, reach for it and pick it up, and say, "May I?" as you hold it in front of your face
  • Hold your hand out to her, wait for her to take it, and say, "Let's go," without having told her yet where you're going
• Insist that women stay or do as you've asked; e.g., she says she's going to go and you say, "No, stay for five minutes; you'll have a lot more fun talking to me here for five minutes than you will on the dance floor with a cluster of sweaty people who smell like beer," or, "Your friends will be fine without you for two minutes; I like talking to you, just hang for two minutes, then you can go," or, "Yes, sit; your feet will feel ten times better than if you keep standing, I promise you."
• Get in the habit of using the largest degrees of social pressure on girls:
  • Ignore rude / socially uncalibrated comments they make, assuming they were just uncalibrated and messed up, and move on with your conversation as if nothing had happened
  • Use chase frames to imply in clever, witty ways that women are pursuing you
  • Use suggested and actual scarcity to position yourself as a rare resource
  • Escalate smoothly, sexily, and aggressively; be touching her breasts and thighs and butt as soon as possible, and if dancing, have her grinding her pussy on your thigh (one of her legs is between yours, and one of yours is between hers, as you face each other); get her sitting on your lap and play with her body
  • Move her rapidly to sitting down
  • Get her phone number quick, early in the interaction, if you like her; or, if you don't plan on seeing her again, dismiss it if she offers it to you ("I'll get it later")
  • Hit escalation windows as soon as you feel them -- that feeling kicks in that says, "OK, I feel like I should do something," and either A) move her, or B) invite her home
  • Invite women home consistently, even if things are only lukewarm. Get accustomed to inviting at least one or two women home per night, to build up a mental "database" of references for when women are likely to respond well or not -- you might be surprised how easy it is to get girls, even girls who hardly know you, to come home if you haven't done this much before (e.g., I have had women agree to come to an apartment with me as quickly as 15 seconds after first seeing / meeting me -- how fast can you get them to agree?). Think "nightcap" for girls you know fairly well and think want to sleep with you, and "after party" for girls you've just met (if you get back and they ask where the after party is, just say, "Some friends were at another nightclub, and might come party here after, or might go somewhere else, don't know. Let's grab a snack and some drinks."

Feel free to add other things here to help improve dominance. Again, all kinds of things you can do to improve in this respect; these are just the ones I've used and that I'd recommend.

Cheers,
Chase

 

[Eric]

I like these primers Chase, they are a fun list to see where you're at. I also have fun testing the limits. Anything further than the advanced dominance stuff? I do these already, or have these done to me without asking / having said something (like having people fight over doing favors for me).

Strange, I don't remember all these articles on the old forums..

 

[Chase]

Hey omgosh,

The majority of the old forum was private - there was just one public board that didn't have much activity. About 2000 posts on the private board, though! That's where the old posts on here are from.

I like these primers Chase, they are a fun list to see where you're at. I also have fun testing the limits. Anything further than the advanced dominance stuff? I do these already, or have these done to me without asking / having said something (like having people fight over doing favors for me).

Going beyond advanced dominance is basically taking people who are being resistant and turning them into warm and receptive. That's things like actively challenging their views and getting them to do complete 180s on their opinions, e.g., she's got her defenses up and is telling you that all men are bad (and, by extension, so are you, and thus you should be resisted), and you turn that around to SOME men are bad, and that you essentially know her better than anyone else:

• Her: Men are bad.
  
  You: Why's that?
  
  Her: Because all they want is sex.
  
  You: Well what do women want?
  
  Her: Women want RELATIONSHIPS!
  
  You: And men DON'T want relationships, right?
  
  Her: That's right.
  
  You: Why do you think that?
  
  Her: Because they don't!
  
  You: I have lots of male friends in relationships. And I've seen plenty of couples go through breakups where the guy was trying to hold onto the relationship more than the woman. Maybe we have different experiences with men and women though. I just think men and women want essentially the same things, but in slightly different ways.
  
  Her: Hmm... you might be right.
  
  You: Well, the way I think about it, if what men and women wanted were TOO different, they'd just never get together, and we wouldn't exist today! Right?
  
  Her: That's a good point.
  
  You: But... what man hurt you?

... and suddenly she's opening up to you and lowering her guard.

Other forms of "beyond advanced" dominance would be examples like wordless pickups, or defusing tense situations without speaking (e.g., she's freaking out; you motion for her to stop, make a "simmer down" gesture calmly, then direct her to sit, and you sit, and then you stare at her eyebrows raised until she stops and tells you what's going on).

Any others you'd add that you think would fall into that category, om?

Chase

 

[Eric]

The worldy views part to me seems too easy to be considered part of dominance. I find it easy if you have an uncompromising belief system coupled with infallible logic.. but maybe that actually is dominance?

*shrugs*

Other stuff such as wordless pickups to me are either too variable to be a result of dominance or are just time dependent. For instance, I made a date with a Belgium girl who couldn't speak English using hand motions..
Never done an actual wordless pickup, doesn't seem like it would be too hard. Rather just dependent on the logistics (short of on the spot makeouts).. She introduces, you don't say a word and lead her off. You need somewhere to lead her though, so it would be easier at a bar or nightclub (sleazy style).

I guess you could include group dynamics and actually moving the entire group / being the sole determinant of the groups decisions without speaking (locking in, having groups follow you around, come to you for all decision making, etc). That can get boring though or is a hassle at times especially when they stand there waiting on your command and you're in a lazy mood.

Anything of worth for reading in the dump of the forum? Or have you posted everything.

Also, I'd be willing to write some articles, I'll be out of town this week with not much to do. They seem too meaty of topics to be for the forums.. A few off the top of my head: 1) Managing state and energy quality, 2) Nutrition / Weight Loss (I've got unconventional methods for this, girlschase style), 3) Classroom / College logistics / tactics, 4) Getting what you want from people, like personal space.. I hate when women try to check my phone or go through my music/pictures, so I've learned how to stop that without drawing attention. I'll let you know that throwing your phone at a wall across the room does not work.

 

[Chase]

Howdy omgosh,

The worldy views part to me seems too easy to be considered part of dominance. I find it easy if you have an uncompromising belief system coupled with infallible logic.. but maybe that actually is dominance?

Exactly. If this stuff is child's play for you, then you don't have much else to worry about in terms of dominance.

In my estimation, you can more or less boil down dominance to how solid your world view is, and how well you can stick to your guns and get others to bend to your view.

e.g., you or I are going to easily out-dominate almost any woman we meet. But throw either of us into a Navy S.E.A.L. bootcamp with a grizzled S.E.A.L. drill sergeant ordering us to run around the barracks and do push ups and refusing to let us use the bathroom, and POW, out-dominated. Take that Navy S.E.A.L. drill sergeant and throw him next to Genghis Khan though, and before you know it the drill sergeants getting out-dominated and having his ego ground into the dust.

It's partly environmental, too. Take that S.E.A.L. drill sergeant out of the bootcamp and throw him in a nail salon or a prison cell or a ghetto or a gay bar, and suddenly he's lost some of his mojo. He's still a dominant guy, but he doesn't have an environment he holds sway over to back him up anymore.

Other stuff such as wordless pickups to me are either too variable to be a result of dominance or are just time dependent. For instance, I made a date with a Belgium girl who couldn't speak English using hand motions..
Never done an actual wordless pickup, doesn't seem like it would be too hard. Rather just dependent on the logistics (short of on the spot makeouts).. She introduces, you don't say a word and lead her off. You need somewhere to lead her though, so it would be easier at a bar or nightclub (sleazy style).

Time-dependent and variable to a degree, yes, but throw a timid college engineering student into a situation where he could pull off a quick / wordless pickup and it almost never ends up happening. Being able to take a situation and get the kinds of results you want out of it is, to me, a core aspect of how I define dominance. Might be different depending on your definition, of course.

I guess you could include group dynamics and actually moving the entire group / being the sole determinant of the groups decisions without speaking (locking in, having groups follow you around, come to you for all decision making, etc). That can get boring though or is a hassle at times especially when they stand there waiting on your command and you're in a lazy mood.

Yeah, I'd probably classify that as dominance although sure, there are plenty of things that could be thought of as dominance but have limited use.

Anything of worth for reading in the dump of the forum? Or have you posted everything.

You mean the old forum here? girlschase.com/forum

There might be a few interesting posts on the General Access board, but the majority of the interesting stuff on there is in the private board. I stopped admitting new members to that board since a lot of guys shared personal stories and anecdotes on there and were using real names, but many of them haven't been active in a while. I've tried to bring over the most interesting posts of mine from that board (that weren't too politically incorrect... it WAS a private board, after all .

Also, I'd be willing to write some articles, I'll be out of town this week with not much to do. They seem too meaty of topics to be for the forums.. A few off the top of my head: 1) Managing state and energy quality, 2) Nutrition / Weight Loss (I've got unconventional methods for this, girlschase style), 3) Classroom / College logistics / tactics, 4) Getting what you want from people, like personal space.. I hate when women try to check my phone or go through my music/pictures, so I've learned how to stop that without drawing attention. I'll let you know that throwing your phone at a wall across the room does not work.

Sounds interesting. Yeah, you seem like a really astute guy, omgosh - anything you have to contribute is more than welcome.

Best,
Chase

 

[Verisimilitude]

Chase this is great stuff. But I'm a little confused. Is this post about dominance with girls or being dominant with other guys in the social circle? The start says its going to teach us how to no get out dominated by guys, and then all the examples are about girls. Does it work the same way?

 

[Chase]

Veris-

Chase this is great stuff. But I'm a little confused. Is this post about dominance with girls or being dominant with other guys in the social circle? The start says its going to teach us how to no get out dominated by guys, and then all the examples are about girls. Does it work the same way?

This post I suppose is a little out of context without the original post it references. In that one, Kenj was talking about how men around him were being more dominant with women than he was, or out-leading them.

Essentially, he'd TRY to be dominant with a girl and lead, and then some other male would swoop into the situation and out-dominate him with her and lead her away from him and toward the direction he wanted her to go in.

This was a primer I put together to essentially explain, "Here's how to maintain the lead with women and not have to worry about other men swooping in and out-dominating you with a girl."

For dominating males in social interactions male-on-male, I have a few articles up on the main site I'd recommend:

• Dealing with Disruptive Men
• Trouncing Male Competition for Girls in the Dating Scene

Chase