Quick question about compliance?

[Orgasmatron]

Hey guys.

Compliance.

Getting chicks to do the stuff you want them to do for you - yeah?


But, it's not just chicks I want to do stuff for me.

I want guys to do stuff for me too.


I know what you're thinking...

"steady on dude, this is Girls Chase, the clue's in the name"

Hear me out.

I can get compliance from my manager/boss if I apply some of the principles from all this stuff, can't I?

eg. today
my manager was out golfing last night
when I saw him this morning I said
"hey, how's tiger woods doing today" - lols
mentioned later I needed to find golf course to play at when my dad comes over in a few weeks
didn't ask him for help

but at end of the day, he showed me a website where you can book tee times for all the local courses, and had a quick look for me for some.

Was that compliance?

I didn't say the tiger woods thing for any reason other than it would be funny, it was just the first that popped into my head, i didn't prep it or anything

helpful guy, I'm making friends, etc but he didn't have to do that and I didn't ask him to

but I can adapt this stuff for work and things like that, yeah?

another eg. I added quick at the start of the title in the hope that more people would look at it if I made it seem easy for them to help.

this is all the same kind of thing isn't it

getting people to help you achieve your goals

I'm not a dick so I want a win/win

girls has good time + i have good time

boss is happy with my work + i get promoted and they pay me more money

if they like me more, they'll be more likely to pay me more money
i want them to pay me more money
i wnat them to comply with the more money thing

so, as i say, not trying to be a dick and manipulate people, but I can use this to get on in life beyond girls can't I?

 

[ulrich]

Yup, you got the idea of it.

Of course getting a guy or a non-sexualized woman to do stuff for you is different because you can’t use sexual frames, sex prizing, etc…
But it has a lot of common ground.

Charisma after all…

 

[Orgasmatron]

Yup, you got the idea of it.

Of course getting a guy or a non-sexualized woman to do stuff for you is different because you can’t use sexual frames, sex prizing, etc…
But it has a lot of common ground.

Charisma after all…

Excellent

 

[johndoe]

I don't think that was compliance from your boss. He was just being nice, helping you out, and building rapport with you, and you were smart to frame it in such a way that made it feel natural for him offer to help you.

I suggest you don't try to elicit compliance too much from people you are around a lot, unless you're really subtle about it. If they see through what you're doing, it's going to appear like you are tooling them, and it can make you look manipulative. Those aren't very good optics for both general socialisation and seduction (it can make you look socially inept to girls in the circle).

Compliance you get from girls are totally different contextually. It's their way of communicating to you that they are receptive to you and that you can escalate things. Because of this, with a girl that likes you, you can get away with very overt elicitations of compliance that you can't get away with even with a colleague.

 

[Will_V]

There is overlap between how you get compliance from a man or a woman, but johndoe is right, in this case he was being nice because you were nice to him. Which is generally how things work between men. You exchange favors, help eachother out, and build a relationship that way.

With women, it's not quite like that. The difference is that submission in itself excites a woman, whereas it does not (generally) for a man. So simply applying pressure can generate excitement and compliance from a woman, whereas a man may feel uncomfortable or aggravated by it. For a man, there is no real benefit to submitting to another man unless he faces consequences or gains some tangible benefit, but for a woman there is the exciting prospect of being sexually dominated.

This is where many men go wrong, thinking that a simple value exchange, since it works between men, also works between men and women. But not only do women not operate this way, but a value exchange actually defuses sexual tension as sexuality is not a negotiation of value, but a question of primordial desire, with sexual tension created by the subtle threat of this desire overpowering the interaction - which is the opposite of a negotiation.

There is a certain space in which it is possible to be very persuasive with another man, where one applies a certain mix of relaxed dominance and validation, especially with men of a more emotional disposition. But generally a man's nature is to either compete and strive to dominate other men - unless faced with a threat he cannot deal with - or band together as a pack where each pulls his weight and receives a level of compensation according to his value.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Thanks man.

I'm just trying to wrap my head around some concepts.

Thought that was an example of someone providing value to me after I had provided value to them.

So just trying to work out where all these things fall and get a better understanding of social dynamics.

I don't think that was compliance from your boss. He was just being nice, helping you out, and building rapport with you, and you were smart to frame it in such a way that made it feel natural for him offer to help you.

You're right of course. I didn't set out to gain anything with my Tiger Woods thing, Just trying to get some banter going so I can make friends with people. Kind of new there and have been WFH, so it's a bit different being in the office. Small team, mainly new people, so making friends is important.

So he's being a helpful guy and trying to develop rapport. Cool.

I see from your explanation later about compliance from girls that this is very different.

I suggest you don't try to elicit compliance too much from people you are around a lot, unless you're really subtle about it. If they see through what you're doing, it's going to appear like you are tooling them, and it can make you look manipulative. Those aren't very good optics for both general socialisation and seduction (it can make you look socially inept to girls in the circle).

Certainly not. I don't want to be manipulative with people anywhere. The last thing I would want would be to be the sort of dude that tries to trick people into doing things, I'm not into that.

I guess for work it's more of a reciprocity thing and, like you say, building rapport. Cool.

Compliance you get from girls are totally different contextually. It's their way of communicating to you that they are receptive to you and that you can escalate things. Because of this, with a girl that likes you, you can get away with very overt elicitations of compliance that you can't get away with even with a colleague.

Ahhh. Brilliant,

I see now. Thanks very much.

That's really helpful.

Cheers dude!

 

[Orgasmatron]

There is overlap between how you get compliance from a man or a woman, but johndoe is right, in this case he was being nice because you were nice to him. Which is generally how things work between men. You exchange favors, help eachother out, and build a relationship that way.

So with this, I develop good relationships with co-workers, do a good job, and get on well there. I am a team player there, so I'll be doing stuff where I can to ease the workload, I figure we're all in the same boat and stuff needs to get done one way or the other.

With women, it's not quite like that. The difference is that submission in itself excites a woman, whereas it does not (generally) for a man. So simply applying pressure can generate excitement and compliance from a woman, whereas a man may feel uncomfortable or aggravated by it. For a man, there is no real benefit to submitting to another man unless he faces consequences or gains some tangible benefit, but for a woman there is the exciting prospect of being sexually dominated.

Cool, so a dude's more likely to try to push back (obv depending on the dude) if you try to elicit some sort of compliance.

But a chick will be turned on by the prospect of a dominant male.


Last sentence is very interesting to me!

Prospect of gains through being submissive to other guys as a guy.

At the mo, I have 2 guys and 2 girls, working under me. All of them are new.

The 2 guys are both young dudes, early 20's, just starting out. Not much previous work experience.
Both do a good job and are keen to do well. I have no problem with their attitude or the work the produce.

But I view them each very differently.

1st guy, I have banter with, we are all cool. He just gets on with the stuff you ask him to do. I like him.

2nd guy, is trying to kiss my ass and be super nice to me all the time. No banter, he's too super nice to joke around with. And all the niceness is really fucking annoying. He's not doing it to manipulate me, he just thinks that's how you should behave at work with your boss.

1st guy - I'll try to get it done but I might not have time to finish it today
Me - that's cool, see how you get on and let me know, don't worry about it man.

2nd guy - I had to take work off because I could see he was so stressed and trying to squeeze doing far too much into not enough time.

They are just new, so I'm not going to give them anything that is super important to do for a demanding client.

So, I can relate to the idea that girls find 'nice guys' unappealing.

Keen to go for drinks and play pool with 1st guy.
Not keen on a night out with 2nd guy.

Made joke about aubergine emojis and me waiting to see if I'd get text from girl to see whether or not I was watching the football on Saturday night with 1st guy today. We had a laugh, all good.

2nd guy would, very sincerely, hope that she responds and that I have a lovely evening on Saturday or some shit if I told him about my weekend night out choices.

It's funny. You hear about all these 'nice guys' complaining that chicks don't dig them and the 'bad boys' get all the action.

I can 100% see why chicks would go with the 'bad boy' as a result of working above these 2 guys. Sure 2nd guy does a good job, works hard, but the whole trying to please me all the time is really fucking annoying. He thanks you for everything.

And I have to actually hold myself back from dumping crap jobs on him because I know he'll just do and thank me for it.

So, no wonder some chicks will feel they can just use 'nice guy' to get stuff and then have fun and get fucked by 'bad boy'

Thanks so much for accepting my LinkedIn connection request.
Seriously, c'mon dude!


He also starting to do heart emojis to my jokes in MS Teams group chat.
Just do a laughing face like everyone else dude, or a thumbs up, or nothing!

Trying way too hard, being far too polite and nice. it's a real turn off.

Feel sorry for all the girls that have to put with that all their lives!

There is a certain space in which it is possible to be very persuasive with another man, where one applies a certain mix of relaxed dominance and validation, especially with men of a more emotional disposition. But generally a man's nature is to either compete and strive to dominate other men - unless faced with a threat he cannot deal with - or band together as a pack where each pulls his weight and receives a level of compensation according to his value.

Cool, thanks.

So, for this. By being good at my job, and having good social skills, then I get respect from my boss.

I can see that happening already. I work with data guys, so they're not the most gregarious of people.

I'm clearly way more comfortable being social with people (this is a new thing for me btw) than my boss is for instance.

And one problem my boss has is getting people who are good at the data stuff as well as good at the speaking to clients stuff. So if he sees me as someone who is comfortable socially AND someone who does his job well, then I become a valuable member of the team, and get more respect from him, provide more value than others, so then I'm in a better position to get a promotion sooner.

Noticed this week that my opinion on things is definitely becoming more respected as a result of being able to demonstrate social aptitude as well as work skills now we are IRL more.


Great stuff man, thanks

PS not trying to butter you up and kiss your ass. Lol.

Seriously it's so bad.

I must say "stop being so fucking nice all the time" to the screen about 10 times a day!

Genuinely not sure what I'm going to do when he starts pulling this shit IRL when we are both in the office next Tuesday

He'd better not pick the desk beside me to work at.

He's not sitting there

If that happens then I am definitely moving desks and going to sit beside hot Brazilian girl from work.

 

[johndoe]

But a chick will be turned on by the prospect of a dominant male.

Just wanted to elaborate on this a little. This statement is both true and false at the same time. Chicks like men who are dominant, but generally, they are also much more socially-attuned than the average man is. That is why I think it can be harmful to think this way, because overt displays of dominance don't always work with them.

Generally, my SOP with women is to just be nice and build rapport, like with men. You only want to try and "alpha" women who are 1) not interested in you, to try and build sexual tension, or 2) who are challenging you (either because they are interested and are testing you, or because they are just generally alpha). Most men are constantly trying to display they are alpha (like I was when younger), and it can appear tryhard to other women.

Most women (especially older, more socially-attuned ones) are also well-aware of what compliance means. So, even if she likes you, she may not comply with overt displays of eliciting compliance if you're around people and she doesn't want them to know.

I've seen your posts on other topics @Orgasmatron . You've got a really great attitude. Keep it up pal

 

[Will_V]

Just wanted to elaborate on this a little. This statement is both true and false at the same time. Chicks like men who are dominant, but generally, they are also much more socially-attuned than the average man is. That is why I think it can be harmful to think this way, because overt displays of dominance don't always work with them.

Generally, my SOP with women is to just be nice and build rapport, like with men. You only want to try and "alpha" women who are 1) not interested in you, to try and build sexual tension, or 2) who are challenging you (either because they are interested and are testing you, or because they are just generally alpha). Most men are constantly trying to display they are alpha (like I was when younger), and it can appear tryhard to other women.

Most women (especially older, more socially-attuned ones) are also well-aware of what compliance means. So, even if she likes you, she may not comply with overt displays of eliciting compliance if you're around people and she doesn't want them to know.

I've seen your posts on other topics @Orgasmatron . You've got a really great attitude. Keep it up pal

I agree, but I think it's important to emphasize there's an incredible lot of sexual tension and pressure - i.e. sexual dominance - that exists in relatively subtle things, like the way you look at a woman, how easily you can let your eyes linger here and there, how long you hold eye contact. The same way that a guy can come off very creepy without apparently doing anything overt, a guy can also come off as very dominant and even sexually aggressive without doing anything 'alpha' or socially uncalibrated.

There was a little ritual that I had with a girlfriend of mine where, if we were talking and I got turned on, I would look hard into her eyes with a slight smile while thinking about what I was about to do with her, waiting for her to react. She would trail off and then say "I know that look" and I would smile a bit more and go "what look?" and she would go breathlessly "like a predator.." and then I would move.

The point is that women feel relatively subtle cues of dominance very strongly, especially when they are aroused. But even though these cues are subtle, they are unmistakable, and they are often the difference, in my experience, between making a woman aroused and compliant or having her maintain her typical social state of mind.

The amount used of course depends on the point in the escalation you're at, but I often bring out a little bit here and there on random women I've just met (or even across a room) and it never fails to at least hook their attention.

 

[Orgasmatron]

Just wanted to elaborate on this a little. This statement is both true and false at the same time. Chicks like men who are dominant, but generally, they are also much more socially-attuned than the average man is. That is why I think it can be harmful to think this way, because overt displays of dominance don't always work with them.

Generally, my SOP with women is to just be nice and build rapport, like with men. You only want to try and "alpha" women who are 1) not interested in you, to try and build sexual tension, or 2) who are challenging you (either because they are interested and are testing you, or because they are just generally alpha). Most men are constantly trying to display they are alpha (like I was when younger), and it can appear tryhard to other women.

Thanks man.

When I'm thinking of 'dominant' I'm not thinking of the stereotypical knuckleheaded dickswinger who's trying to throw his weight about. I'm thinking, socially adept leader of the pack. So, I'm not trying to be aggressive with anyone, but I'm certainly being a lot more assertive than I used to be, and I feel I'm getting better at being able to talk to people with different personality types in a way that resonates with them.

I'd also start with trying to build rapport. Fun conversation, interested in her as a person. That kind of thing. I don't know how to escalate and drive things towards sexy fun times yet, but I'll get there.

I think I dealt with some tests on a recent date and didn't just give in to the hot girl. Before, I wouldn't really have disagreed with what she said or said I disliked something she liked or would've been defensive to criticism. Not now though.

Most women (especially older, more socially-attuned ones) are also well-aware of what compliance means. So, even if she likes you, she may not comply with overt displays of eliciting compliance if you're around people and she doesn't want them to know.

That's very interesting indeed.

I have a situation in my life atm, where I think this might happen, so I'll watch out for it. Thanks!

I've seen your posts on other topics @Orgasmatron . You've got a really great attitude. Keep it up pal

Cheers man, appreciate the encouragement.

 

[Orgasmatron]

I agree, but I think it's important to emphasize there's an incredible lot of sexual tension and pressure - i.e. sexual dominance - that exists in relatively subtle things, like the way you look at a woman, how easily you can let your eyes linger here and there, how long you hold eye contact. The same way that a guy can come off very creepy without apparently doing anything overt, a guy can also come off as very dominant and even sexually aggressive without doing anything 'alpha' or socially uncalibrated.

There was a little ritual that I had with a girlfriend of mine where, if we were talking and I got turned on, I would look hard into her eyes with a slight smile while thinking about what I was about to do with her, waiting for her to react. She would trail off and then say "I know that look" and I would smile a bit more and go "what look?" and she would go breathlessly "like a predator.." and then I would move.

The point is that women feel relatively subtle cues of dominance very strongly, especially when they are aroused. But even though these cues are subtle, they are unmistakable, and they are often the difference, in my experience, between making a woman aroused and compliant or having her maintain her typical social state of mind.

The amount used of course depends on the point in the escalation you're at, but I often bring out a little bit here and there on random women I've just met (or even across a room) and it never fails to at least hook their attention.

Wow. I'm such a guy.

I'm not even thinking about how a girl experiences things very differently because she's got all the emotional stuff going on.

So, I don't have to over the top with eye contact or touching her arm, or any of that stuff, because she'll get it.

To me, as a dude, that doesn't seem very significant, but her, as a chick, it's multiplied by all her girl brain stuff.

I've definitely noticed a difference in the reactions I get from women from just being better at eye contact (or knowing it was even a thing to do tbh) on a day to day basis,

Wow, that great dude, thanks!

 

[johndoe]

I agree, but I think it's important to emphasize there's an incredible lot of sexual tension and pressure - i.e. sexual dominance - that exists in relatively subtle things, like the way you look at a woman, how easily you can let your eyes linger here and there, how long you hold eye contact. The same way that a guy can come off very creepy without apparently doing anything overt, a guy can also come off as very dominant and even sexually aggressive without doing anything 'alpha' or socially uncalibrated.

There was a little ritual that I had with a girlfriend of mine where, if we were talking and I got turned on, I would look hard into her eyes with a slight smile while thinking about what I was about to do with her, waiting for her to react. She would trail off and then say "I know that look" and I would smile a bit more and go "what look?" and she would go breathlessly "like a predator.." and then I would move.

The point is that women feel relatively subtle cues of dominance very strongly, especially when they are aroused. But even though these cues are subtle, they are unmistakable, and they are often the difference, in my experience, between making a woman aroused and compliant or having her maintain her typical social state of mind.

The amount used of course depends on the point in the escalation you're at, but I often bring out a little bit here and there on random women I've just met (or even across a room) and it never fails to at least hook their attention.

This is actually something that I don't get, or at least am not aware of. I've actually been trying to increase my odds of first-date sex. I'm sitting at about 50/50 in successes to failures, and I feel like that's because half the girls I meet are already open to the idea.

I've never felt like I've managed to change a girl's mind about first-date sex before, becauae I've never tried to persuade a girl when she said no. And I usually don't get much LMR too, if any, but I think that may be because I'm pretty aware about a hard no and a token no, and I don't see token nos as LMRs because it's quite easy to blow past them.

I look at some of Chase's posts where he talks about a 100% closing rate on first-dates and it makes me wonder how he does it. I usually build rapport with a girl and tell her what I want when I can sense she really likes me, but some girls are just not open to the idea of first-date sex, and I'm not sure how I can change their mind.

 

[johndoe]

When I'm thinking of 'dominant' I'm not thinking of the stereotypical knuckleheaded dickswinger who's trying to throw his weight about. I'm thinking, socially adept leader of the pack. So, I'm not trying to be aggressive with anyone, but I'm certainly being a lot more assertive than I used to be, and I feel I'm getting better at being able to talk to people with different personality types in a way that resonates with them.

I'd also start with trying to build rapport. Fun conversation, interested in her as a person. That kind of thing. I don't know how to escalate and drive things towards sexy fun times yet, but I'll get there.

I think I dealt with some tests on a recent date and didn't just give in to the hot girl. Before, I wouldn't really have disagreed with what she said or said I disliked something she liked or would've been defensive to criticism. Not now though.

I'm sharing what I'm sharing because thinking in terms of dominance never worked for me before. It was only when I stopped thinking in terms of "how do I look good to girls" that things really clicked for me. Because there are always going to be situations where you have no way of coming up on top, and if you think in terms of dominance, you are going to do something that makes you look really bad.

Maybe it's just a thing that is specific to me. I don't know. I think when we are learning seduction, men tend to overcomplicate things. Dating and sex is really not rocket science. Sure, there's a lot of nuance to it, but a lot of it is very tacit and earned through experience. I used to overthink a lot. Once I gave up the idea that I had to play things theoretically perfect, my success rates went through the roof.

 

[Will_V]

This is actually something that I don't get, or at least am not aware of. I've actually been trying to increase my odds of first-date sex. I'm sitting at about 50/50 in successes to failures, and I feel like that's because half the girls I meet are already open to the idea.

I've never felt like I've managed to change a girl's mind about first-date sex before, becauae I've never tried to persuade a girl when she said no. And I usually don't get much LMR too, if any, but I think that may be because I'm pretty aware about a hard no and a token no, and I don't see token nos as LMRs because it's quite easy to blow past them.

I look at some of Chase's posts where he talks about a 100% closing rate on first-dates and it makes me wonder how he does it. I usually build rapport with a girl and tell her what I want when I can sense she really likes me, but some girls are just not open to the idea of first-date sex, and I'm not sure how I can change their mind.

I think we're talking about a few somewhat different things (and maybe I've been mixing them up).

On one hand, there is dominance as status, what one might call 'high value'. That's the kind of dominance that gets good social feedback, and sure it has a good effect on seduction, but what I'm talking about is something different.

I'm talking about dominance as frame, as imposing my reality - one where I am a strong, sexy man and she's a soft, sexy woman, and within that reality, nothing makes more sense than the idea of us being in bed together. In that reality, my dominance is not a question of the level of my status but the level of my desire. My dominance is a force of nature, a primordial stirring aroused by her feminine existence, not a question of how society thinks of me.

That's why when I look at a woman, I feel (and express) a mixture of delight and intent. I want her to feel that her very existence creates sexual tension in the air - not something either of us is 'trying' to do. And I know that as long as I can subtly show her how she affects me without being fazed by it, without needing her to perceive it or react to it in any particular way, she will be able to explore and enjoy it, if it interests her. And since most men cannot reflect a woman's effect back to them without getting needy or aggressive, women tend to enjoy it when it's done well.

The easiest way to make anyone like you, whether they are a man or a woman, is to show genuine delight in their existence. It's not something that happens very often - people are way too guarded and defensive, always wanting something before they give anything, out of touch and generally unable to even figure out what they feel at all. And when they do express something it is often contrived and needy, because it has an agenda that is out of touch even with their own reality.

When I show a woman what I feel, I don't care if she doesn't like it. Because I don't do it for her, I do it for myself, for my self-expression, to embody even more my reality that is mine and is around me. When it doesn't work out, I simply accept that I have not embodied my reality enough, I haven't been true enough to myself and my nature, and she has seen this failure. It doesn't matter, because my reality will be here tomorrow, giving me meaning and satisfaction and a destiny to strive toward, regardless of whether she is there or not.

 

[Will_V]

Looks like @Bacchus wrote an article just for us! https://www.girlschase.com/article/pickup-tech/how-bring-girls-your-reality-and-build-compliance

 

[Orgasmatron]

I'm sharing what I'm sharing because thinking in terms of dominance never worked for me before. It was only when I stopped thinking in terms of "how do I look good to girls" that things really clicked for me. Because there are always going to be situations where you have no way of coming up on top, and if you think in terms of dominance, you are going to do something that makes you look really bad.

Maybe it's just a thing that is specific to me. I don't know. I think when we are learning seduction, men tend to overcomplicate things. Dating and sex is really not rocket science. Sure, there's a lot of nuance to it, but a lot of it is very tacit and earned through experience. I used to overthink a lot. Once I gave up the idea that I had to play things theoretically perfect, my success rates went through the roof.

Cool man.

I've basically had a huge mindset change across the board recently where I simply don't give a fuck now what anyone thinks about me, and I've been getting more and assertive as a person and my mind is so much clearer as a result. I don't know if that's being Alpha or dominant or whatever, but now I'm not thinking in terms of trying to do things that girls (or guys eg at work) will like, I'm just doing what I want to do, saying what I want, acting how I want, or doing what I think the best thing is to do (at work for example). And if some chick isn't into that then fine, next!

So basically, I used to be a people pleaser and now I'm not.
Weirdly, all my social interactions have improved as a result. Who knew?!?!

All my interactions and relationships with everyone (hot chicks, random women, random dudes, colleagues, neighbours, friends, family) are now much better and I'm this guy who is calm and in charge now. Mainly because I had this mindset change, did some DG, found out all my fears about it were unfounded and had a minuscule amount of success.

RE Overthinking things - totally dude. Not surprised that once you stop thinking and just did it, things got way better.
So now I'm all, just do it, think about it later, then work out how to do it better - repeat

 

[Orgasmatron]

I think we're talking about a few somewhat different things (and maybe I've been mixing them up).

On one hand, there is dominance as status, what one might call 'high value'. That's the kind of dominance that gets good social feedback, and sure it has a good effect on seduction, but what I'm talking about is something different.

I'm talking about dominance as frame, as imposing my reality - one where I am a strong, sexy man and she's a soft, sexy woman, and within that reality, nothing makes more sense than the idea of us being in bed together. In that reality, my dominance is not a question of the level of my status but the level of my desire. My dominance is a force of nature, a primordial stirring aroused by her feminine existence, not a question of how society thinks of me.

That's great.

I think I see how these are different.

So, dominance as status is an external thing - other people see you as high value

whereas

Dominance as frame is what you project outwards

The easiest way to make anyone like you, whether they are a man or a woman, is to show genuine delight in their existence.

Don't know if you've read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie (I suspect you have)
I think you've managed to summarize his whole book in one sentence. That's pretty good going!

When I show a woman what I feel, I don't care if she doesn't like it. Because I don't do it for her, I do it for myself, for my self-expression, to embody even more my reality that is mine and is around me. When it doesn't work out, I simply accept that I have not embodied my reality enough, I haven't been true enough to myself and my nature, and she has seen this failure. It doesn't matter, because my reality will be here tomorrow, giving me meaning and satisfaction and a destiny to strive toward, regardless of whether she is there or not.

I like that way of looking at things. I think most people probably blame external factors for not getting what they want, rather than looking inward and to see what they could do better to make things happen. Very cool outlook.

I'll add the article you linked to my ever-growing reading list - thanks man!

 

[ulrich]

I look at some of Chase's posts where he talks about a 100% closing rate on first-dates and it makes me wonder how he does it. I usually build rapport with a girl and tell her what I want when I can sense she really likes me, but some girls are just not open to the idea of first-date sex, and I'm not sure how I can change their mind.

Possibly selection.

Although I think the article you are referring to talks about 100% closing rate from first-date going in his apartment to sex. That is not really hard to do.
Getting her in your apartment, that’s the hard part.

50/50 first date to sex rate is pretty good… advanced I would dare to say.
If you can improve it, that’s great but I wonder if there isn’t any other thing you would like to focus more. This one you got in the bag and now you will probably fall into decreasing increases territory.