Raised and living in a Pretty much fucked up conservative environment. Need help with a lot of things.

[Pakistani Boy]

I am from Pakistan and I was raised in a pretty strict religious and over protective environment. I first time left home alone when I was 15. Now 23. I had no close friends until 9th grade. Had zero socializing until I went to medical college. I had zero interaction with women. In school van girls started talking to me and even gave me smiles and compliments which is considered a very big thing in Pakistan and my peers use to be jealous of me but I could not made it anything out of it because I did not knew what to do. I also have many mental health problems like anxiety depression perfectionism and ADHD . When I see myself in the mirror I see a guy who is clearly in the top 5 percent of male population in looks or may be even more but this gives me depression that I am not the most handsome guy in the world. I had been told cute and handsome by several women and I have seen women going crazy over my looks where they could just not stop themselves from looking at me but deep down I feel women were just superficially attracted and will not choose me because they want guys who are leaders and chill and although I am quite funny but not class clown and not always in a mood to make jokes, although I have been in several leadership roles where I was quite daring and no body could have done that all I get was awkward responses from women this made me even more confused cause when other guys do it it helps them but when I do it do not help. I also had a pretty fucked up interaction with women the first women that showed a clearly bold interest me was my class fellow she was the one pursuing me but I am too insecure cause one time she looked at another guy and I felt if I am being cheated and one day when she was teaching some guys I felt so jealous that I went up to her called her sister and rejected her subtly. The next time a women approached me I also felt cheated because she was approaching both me and my best friend.
I had this deep fear of being cheated that I could not stop myself from worrying. Another women started talking to me but when I escalated things she backed of but once she saw another women waving to me she never talked to me. I know I live in a weird environment and I seen this pattern that when I don't show overconfidence which I am famous for despite my anxieties and worries, and come of humble women show more interest and act interested but when other guys shows confidence it helps them I am quite confused.
I also messed things up with a girl who sent her friend with a message that she has a crush on me and I felt quite weird and threatened and ignored that girl because of my fears.
I think I need to work on a lot of things
Kindly someone helps and especially guys with similar stories and mental health problems
So far my success is that I have developed a quite good control over my emotions with therapy and stoic philosophy but now I am out of money and cannot afford it anymore
Had developed a pretty decent physique where at least I can admire myself before perfectionism takes over
Developed quite a good overall social reputation and image
Had approached a girl which I find quite attractive and the things are going slowly according to world standards which infuriates me

 

[Pakistani Boy]

Kindly don't judge me

 

[Troy]

Kindly don't judge me

No judgment here bro!

I have shared worse and Im still here working on improving myself. My words of wisdom is keep going. From reading your post, I can tell you have a lot to learn. However keep your head up and keep going.

I started a post here https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...ck-solid-conscientiousness.25772/#post-144763

Im going to get to that post by the end of March to early April so I will ping you when Im done. I do sense from what you wrote, there is difficulty figuring out the most important thing to improve first. So I will share how to improve your consciousness so you can strategically start improving things.

Stay tuned. Keep your head up!

 

[Tim Iron]

Kindly don't judge me

Most guys here wouldn't judge you (except one over-aged Latino braggart). This is a self-improvement forum, we generally know that guys make a lot of mistakes when it comes to these issues. Just try to put into practice whatever you read on the main website, you can always start gradually.

 

[POB]

I am from Pakistan and I was raised in a pretty strict religious and over protective environment.

That sucks, but it's not your fault.
It just becomes your fault if it's a shitty place for you and you don't do anything about it.

I first time left home alone when I was 15. Now 23. I had no close friends until 9th grade. Had zero socializing until I went to medical college. I had zero interaction with women. In school van girls started talking to me and even gave me smiles and compliments which is considered a very big thing in Pakistan and my peers use to be jealous of me but I could not made it anything out of it because I did not knew what to do.

You are young, plenty of time to learn.

I also have many mental health problems like anxiety depression perfectionism and ADHD .

By the way you are putting your words together, these are probably on the light side and should be very curable.
Have you ever taken professional help?
Just as an example, I needed 4-5 years of therapy to get out of a very bad funk when I was your age.

When I see myself in the mirror I see a guy who is clearly in the top 5 percent of male population in looks or may be even more but this gives me depression that I am not the most handsome guy in the world.

Fuck handsome.
Leave that for Calvin Klein models.
You need to be hot, which is 100x more important and completely under your control.

I had been told cute and handsome by several women and I have seen women going crazy over my looks where they could just not stop themselves from looking at me, but deep down I feel women were just superficially attracted and will not choose me because they want guys who are leaders and chill. Although I am quite funny, but not class clown and not always in a mood to make jokes. I have been in several leadership roles where I was quite daring and nobody could have done that, all I get was awkward responses from women. This made me even more confused cause when other guys do it it helps them but when I do it do not help.

This is called perception.
You are seeing the world through your personal lenses, which is not necessarily what's really happening.
If what you said is true, you probably missed a lot of cues of women giving you IOIs and secret admiration.

I also had a pretty fucked up interaction with women. The first women that showed a clearly bold interest me was my class fellow she was the one pursuing me but I am too insecure cause one time she looked at another guy and I felt if I am being cheated. And one day when she was teaching some guys I felt so jealous that I went up to her called her sister and rejected her subtly. The next time a women approached me I also felt cheated because she was approaching both me and my best friend.

Dude, what the fuck!
Get out of your damn mind.
These women don't owe you shit, period.
Even if you were their BF, behaving like that is needy and show a lot of insecurity.
Gotta start to work on that right now!

I had this deep fear of being cheated that I could not stop myself from worrying. Another women started talking to me but when I escalated things she backed of but once she saw another women waving to me she never talked to me. I know I live in a weird environment and I seen this pattern that when I don't show overconfidence which I am famous for despite my anxieties and worries, and come of humble women show more interest and act interested but when other guys shows confidence it helps them I am quite confused.

I have no idea how it is on Pakistan, but it seems it's not a good environment for seduction.

I also messed things up with a girl who sent her friend with a message that she has a crush on me and I felt quite weird and threatened and ignored that girl because of my fears.
I think I need to work on a lot of things

You do, but take your time.

Kindly someone helps and especially guys with similar stories and mental health problems
So far my success is that I have developed a quite good control over my emotions with therapy and stoic philosophy but now I am out of money and cannot afford it anymore
Had developed a pretty decent physique where at least I can admire myself before perfectionism takes over
Developed quite a good overall social reputation and image

Most of your problems are fixable, as long as you take action and keep working on them.
If money is becoming an issue, I think you should forget about seduction and focus on that.
Our first and most important independence is the financial one.
It definitely should come first before anything else.