Got out of a 2 year relationship a few months ago, and am getting back into dating.
I met this girl on a dating app, and went for a drink with her last Thursday. I couldn't quite believe how many things we were on the same page about (attitudes to socialising, music, enjoyment of cooking, reading, where we go on holidays, similar upbringings) and thought we had great compatibility and she would fit in my life well.
Anyway, we ended up getting a bit drunk (a common thing for Brits on dates, in my experience) , and last orders at the bar was called and we were kicked out of the pub at 22:30. I didn't want the date to end because I was enjoying myself so much, so invited her back to mine for a nightcap. She said yes, so we jumped into a cab, went back to mine. I can't remember the exact time, but not long after getting back to mine, she vommed in my toilet lol. At that point, I decided that i wasn't going to try having sex because it didn't feel appropriate, but told her not to be embarrassed about throwing up. She still insisted on sleeping in my bed, so we just kissed and cuddled a bit and then fell asleep. In the morning, we just stayed in bed for about an hour and a half, chatting (she did say she was normally more of a lady and didn't come back on the first date, but i brushed it off saying that nothing happened anyway) and again spooning, and making out a bit - she certainly wasn't resistant to it, or trying to leave quickly. She then had to leave, but made a point of kissing me before she left. So I thought all had gone good.
I text her later that evening to say I enjoyed myself and some callback humour to something we discussed the night before. She responded the next day saying she had a fantastic time etc, but didn't see a romantic future. I was really surprised by how she had reached that conclusion given how good a time we had the night before, and I'm normally quite good on dates. I messaged back saying that i was quite surprised given how well we got on and had good chemistry and compatibility, and just said that if it was related to what happened when she came back to mine, then it was no big deal and she shouldn't be embarrassed. She then responded saying it was more a case that she didn't feel a romantic connection but agreed 'we got on so well'. Then said she might be being a bit hasty and possibly should see how she felt after a second date, but felt it was best to be honest.
I'm going to push for a second date anyway, but make sure its less boozy. I'm not entirely sure what she meant by romantic connection, but I'm assuming she meant emotional connection. I figure I became quite complacent on the first date because of our similarity (and because we are both extroverts, we never got deep), and probably didn't deep dive enough and really get to know her. Welcome other's thoughts on this approach, and whether there is anything else I would consider?
I met this girl on a dating app, and went for a drink with her last Thursday. I couldn't quite believe how many things we were on the same page about (attitudes to socialising, music, enjoyment of cooking, reading, where we go on holidays, similar upbringings) and thought we had great compatibility and she would fit in my life well.
Anyway, we ended up getting a bit drunk (a common thing for Brits on dates, in my experience) , and last orders at the bar was called and we were kicked out of the pub at 22:30. I didn't want the date to end because I was enjoying myself so much, so invited her back to mine for a nightcap. She said yes, so we jumped into a cab, went back to mine. I can't remember the exact time, but not long after getting back to mine, she vommed in my toilet lol. At that point, I decided that i wasn't going to try having sex because it didn't feel appropriate, but told her not to be embarrassed about throwing up. She still insisted on sleeping in my bed, so we just kissed and cuddled a bit and then fell asleep. In the morning, we just stayed in bed for about an hour and a half, chatting (she did say she was normally more of a lady and didn't come back on the first date, but i brushed it off saying that nothing happened anyway) and again spooning, and making out a bit - she certainly wasn't resistant to it, or trying to leave quickly. She then had to leave, but made a point of kissing me before she left. So I thought all had gone good.
I text her later that evening to say I enjoyed myself and some callback humour to something we discussed the night before. She responded the next day saying she had a fantastic time etc, but didn't see a romantic future. I was really surprised by how she had reached that conclusion given how good a time we had the night before, and I'm normally quite good on dates. I messaged back saying that i was quite surprised given how well we got on and had good chemistry and compatibility, and just said that if it was related to what happened when she came back to mine, then it was no big deal and she shouldn't be embarrassed. She then responded saying it was more a case that she didn't feel a romantic connection but agreed 'we got on so well'. Then said she might be being a bit hasty and possibly should see how she felt after a second date, but felt it was best to be honest.
I'm going to push for a second date anyway, but make sure its less boozy. I'm not entirely sure what she meant by romantic connection, but I'm assuming she meant emotional connection. I figure I became quite complacent on the first date because of our similarity (and because we are both extroverts, we never got deep), and probably didn't deep dive enough and really get to know her. Welcome other's thoughts on this approach, and whether there is anything else I would consider?
