REALLY THOUGH. How do I?

[Twosees]

Hey all you guys. It's been quite a while since I've posted here. And that's not a good thing because the fact is that I've done zilch. Nada. One of the problems with myself is that I am way too shy for my liking. I'm 18 ffs. And I knew about girls chase at about 16. But I am going to fix this.

Problems
- Shyness around girls especially. They usually have to open for me. One time I got nervous when a girl asked me for her order and I was like all over the place. Kept picking the wrong orders :/. And one of her cute friends was there
I had tried approaching her but failed. And now I see here every day. but I'm so cowardly with it
*sigh*
I want to know how do I start doing the approach. Because I understand the theory on a theoretical level, but not practical. THIS TRANSITION. I keep running away from it
Hope you guys can help. and thanks to the staff of GC for this website on socialising, especially with women.

 

[Mystique]

Hey man, don't sweat it. Most people read this stuff and never practice it (like it's some kinda fantasy novel). At least you've made up your mind to get in the game. You can start with the newbie assignment. That's just my advice, space monkey to space monkey

 

[Thedoctor]

Twosees,

If you're really that shy and introverted, I'd recommend getting better at being social in general first. Juts go out, talk, mingle, socialize with anyone and everyone. This will help get you out of your shell, gain some confidence, and pick up on more social cues. Here's just a few ideas:

-meetup.com has lots different groups with likeminded people
-"Rec leagues" sports - most cities have different sports you can play without requiring much skill. They're usually an excuse for people to go out and drink / socialize after.
-take classes: bartending, scuba, photography, writing etc.

Here's a couple articles that should help too:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/3-way ... l-aptitude
https://www.girlschase.com/content/socia ... mfort-zone

-John

 

[Bboy100]

I have a couple comments:

1. Is this a social anxiety disorder? Cause it sure sounds like it. If you're having trouble just ordering food, this goes beyond AA. You might have some deeper issues which are very difficult to solve on your own. If you feel like there is even a slight chance that this is the case, I highly recommend getting professional help. And no, it's not something to be ashamed about. We all have our issues. Frankly, I feel like 90% of the population could benefit from a therapist in one way or another. Most people just don't take the time to address hard internal issues cause they think it's not a big deal, or they're not even aware they have them.

2. If you're convinced it's not a social anxiety disorder or anything of the sort, I would recommend starting small. The newbie assignment is a good way to go, but I think even it takes things too fast. Here's my prescription for you:

Go out and make+hold eye contact with people until you feel comfortable doing that. The newbie assignment says do it 20 times. I invite you to do it more than 20 times and do it on more than one day. take is as slow as you need to. Just make sure you feel comfortable before moving on

Go up to a stranger and say "hi". Once you've done that, you're free to leave the conversation. Again...do this as many times as necessary for you to feel comfortable.

Go up to a stranger and say "Hi, how's your day going". Same as above...do it till you're comfortable.

Go up to a stranger and say "Hi, how's your day going" And also ask them one personal question about themselves.

Keep doing this process of adding more and more components until you're no longer afraid of taking action.

Hope this helps!

 

[Twosees]

Hey man, don't sweat it. Most people read this stuff and never practice it (like it's some kinda fantasy novel). At least you've made up your mind to get in the game. You can start with the newbie assignment. That's just my advice, space monkey to space monkey

Lol yes dude I want it to be real this time. Something tangible, fulfilling.

 

[Twosees]

Twosees,

If you're really that shy and introverted, I'd recommend getting better at being social in general first. Juts go out, talk, mingle, socialize with anyone and everyone. This will help get you out of your shell, gain some confidence, and pick up on more social cues. Here's just a few ideas:

-meetup.com has lots different groups with likeminded people
-"Rec leagues" sports - most cities have different sports you can play without requiring much skill. They're usually an excuse for people to go out and drink / socialize after.
-take classes: bartending, scuba, photography, writing etc.

Here's a couple articles that should help too:

https://www.girlschase.com/content/3-way ... l-aptitude
https://www.girlschase.com/content/socia ... mfort-zone

-John

Probably do it with girls. I'm good with socialising with the mates but girls... Ughhh...

 

[Twosees]

I have a couple comments:

1. Is this a social anxiety disorder? Cause it sure sounds like it. If you're having trouble just ordering food, this goes beyond AA. You might have some deeper issues which are very difficult to solve on your own. If you feel like there is even a slight chance that this is the case, I highly recommend getting professional help. And no, it's not something to be ashamed about. We all have our issues. Frankly, I feel like 90% of the population could benefit from a therapist in one way or another. Most people just don't take the time to address hard internal issues cause they think it's not a big deal, or they're not even aware they have them.

2. If you're convinced it's not a social anxiety disorder or anything of the sort, I would recommend starting small. The newbie assignment is a good way to go, but I think even it takes things too fast. Here's my prescription for you:

Go out and make+hold eye contact with people until you feel comfortable doing that. The newbie assignment says do it 20 times. I invite you to do it more than 20 times and do it on more than one day. take is as slow as you need to. Just make sure you feel comfortable before moving on

Go up to a stranger and say "hi". Once you've done that, you're free to leave the conversation. Again...do this as many times as necessary for you to feel comfortable.

Go up to a stranger and say "Hi, how's your day going". Same as above...do it till you're comfortable.

Go up to a stranger and say "Hi, how's your day going" And also ask them one personal question about themselves.

Keep doing this process of adding more and more components until you're no longer afraid of taking action.

Hope this helps!

It's not too bad and I've seen people for that it's just I've delayed this so much. I guess it's just fear has overgrown on me