- Joined
- Mar 21, 2022
- Messages
- 140
I find that it happens about two to three times per year that I find myself in a situation where getting physical with another male is either appropriate, or necessary. The very fact it doesn't happen too often I believe is the very reason I've be caught off guard one or twice. I've had moments in these situations where I've looked completely alpha as well as beta. I'm not trained in self defence but I remember one time I handled myself so well that my friends just presumed that I that was!
Of course it's best to handle such inappropriate behaviour by other means if possible. But I do believe that there are moments when you feel that something like a witty remark isn't quite enough to stand up to someone when they're bang out of line. Having failed to handle one of these situations, it's all very well to say to yourself later on that "oh I actually could have said this and handled the situation very gracefully" but that thought isn't going to enter your mind when you're on the spot, so you either have to do something or do nothing and take the regret with you. If getting physical is the only thing that comes to mind - and it's called for - then it could be best to do that.
It is only an individual who is both confident within themselves, as well as physically trained, who is actually able to potentially leave bad behaviour slide an still retain their status. I have only observed this once in my life and it was very interesting as the man in question knew (and I knew too) that he'd be able to kick the other guy's ass. Therefore him getting physical could possibly look weak from my point of view. But for someone who is unsure how that would pan out, is what can make it all the more hard to leave such bad behaviour slide. I say this as there have even been one or two fights I've been in that I lost, and still most definitely didn't regret it. I wish I was told that in my school years... that you can actually lose a fight and gain respect.
For anyone else who's had similar problems, it may well be the case that if you were more of a man, that certain insulting behaviour from another man wouldn't offend you as much as it does, and that you therefore wouldn't feel the need to get physical. But the very important thing is, that if you are not that man then you can't pretend to be. That's just one thing I think I've noticed on PUA forums... is that a lot of advice is based on trying to mimic the alpha behaviour of a role model. I'm sure it works with pick up, but not with everything.
Another thing I believe is that a lot of men who work under a gay boss may find themselves in a difficult situation that they don't know how to handle. Take the Chris Pincher case in the British parliament, for example. There's a good chance that the men he groped might have considered themselves the sort of person who'd knock someone out had that been done to them, but they didn't.
If you've ever been in a situation where you felt you should have reacted better, or regretted not physically attacking someone (dare I say it), please share your experience. Most of the time I see men getting violent it is rarely for a good cause... nearly makes me embarrassed for my gender. It's often just some drunk who beats up some random person, or other times you'll see a guy in a group, who while in a group, will try to frighten a lone passer-by on the street.
I'm going to leave you with this scene if you'd like to watch. Now I don't think Berenger needed to get physical in this scene, but it's just a good example of how you wouldn't see an insult coming. Berenger gets insulted when he's effectively told that he can be bought, and he gets physical. What's interesting to me is that getting physical would have been out of the question giving that there was a cereal bowl in the guy's hand!
Obviously deciding to get physical has to be taken into account with one's own safety... whether you know the person, whether you're indoors/outdoors, and the number of others present in the area/vicinity, etc.
Thanks
Of course it's best to handle such inappropriate behaviour by other means if possible. But I do believe that there are moments when you feel that something like a witty remark isn't quite enough to stand up to someone when they're bang out of line. Having failed to handle one of these situations, it's all very well to say to yourself later on that "oh I actually could have said this and handled the situation very gracefully" but that thought isn't going to enter your mind when you're on the spot, so you either have to do something or do nothing and take the regret with you. If getting physical is the only thing that comes to mind - and it's called for - then it could be best to do that.
It is only an individual who is both confident within themselves, as well as physically trained, who is actually able to potentially leave bad behaviour slide an still retain their status. I have only observed this once in my life and it was very interesting as the man in question knew (and I knew too) that he'd be able to kick the other guy's ass. Therefore him getting physical could possibly look weak from my point of view. But for someone who is unsure how that would pan out, is what can make it all the more hard to leave such bad behaviour slide. I say this as there have even been one or two fights I've been in that I lost, and still most definitely didn't regret it. I wish I was told that in my school years... that you can actually lose a fight and gain respect.
For anyone else who's had similar problems, it may well be the case that if you were more of a man, that certain insulting behaviour from another man wouldn't offend you as much as it does, and that you therefore wouldn't feel the need to get physical. But the very important thing is, that if you are not that man then you can't pretend to be. That's just one thing I think I've noticed on PUA forums... is that a lot of advice is based on trying to mimic the alpha behaviour of a role model. I'm sure it works with pick up, but not with everything.
Another thing I believe is that a lot of men who work under a gay boss may find themselves in a difficult situation that they don't know how to handle. Take the Chris Pincher case in the British parliament, for example. There's a good chance that the men he groped might have considered themselves the sort of person who'd knock someone out had that been done to them, but they didn't.
If you've ever been in a situation where you felt you should have reacted better, or regretted not physically attacking someone (dare I say it), please share your experience. Most of the time I see men getting violent it is rarely for a good cause... nearly makes me embarrassed for my gender. It's often just some drunk who beats up some random person, or other times you'll see a guy in a group, who while in a group, will try to frighten a lone passer-by on the street.
I'm going to leave you with this scene if you'd like to watch. Now I don't think Berenger needed to get physical in this scene, but it's just a good example of how you wouldn't see an insult coming. Berenger gets insulted when he's effectively told that he can be bought, and he gets physical. What's interesting to me is that getting physical would have been out of the question giving that there was a cereal bowl in the guy's hand!
Obviously deciding to get physical has to be taken into account with one's own safety... whether you know the person, whether you're indoors/outdoors, and the number of others present in the area/vicinity, etc.
Thanks
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curious to see more about your perspective even if I disagree
