Reconnected with Parents - feels really great

[PrettyDecent]

Just felt like sharing this, maybe it has something to do with GC.

Basically, my dad and I had a falling out that lasted for 5-6 years. I won't get into details, but basically it was irresponsible parenting on his part, and extreme judgment from my end. Of course, I didn't know I was judgmental at the time, I just thought I was 'better' than him (or smarter or something).

I just talked to him last night for the first time in a year and a half (and before that we hadn't talked for another year) and we had this fantastic connection. We talked about all aspects of life - traveling, family, relationships, women, 007 (and he hasn't seen Daniel Craig's 007 trilogy yet, so I'm getting him to do that ASAP! ) I think it has to do with increasing my social awareness and learning not to judge people while they speak. He was also cool about my mistakes, too.

But yeah, it just feels so great. I think it's important to handle all aspects of your life, family included.

~Nick

 

[lanseri]

Accepting your parents with all of their faults? Now that's mature. You're the man now, dawg, if ever!

I've had the same sort of situation with my parents since I was 13. Our relationship for the past 15 years has been awkward silences, passive aggresiveness, judging (from both sides), etc. The basis of an unhealthy relationship. Had some nasty effects on my personal love life as well. =/

The last few years I've been really working on getting my own life sorted out: seeing a therapist, finding out what I actually want to study and work on, focusing on the moment, and learning to accept people and their flaws. Eventually I'll be able to accept my father like he is, flaws and all. Hopefully. The thing I struggle with is accepting the fact that they (my parents) do nothing to improve themselves, while I'm all for improving myself in any way possible. And yeah, that makes me sound like a pretentious dick. Still working on it, as I said. =P

In any case, this is great to hear. =)

 

[Marty]

Nick:

I'm very happy to hear it, my friend.

-Marty

 

[Nova]

Yeh that's good to hear. I think its always so good to have happy relations with your family (particularly your immediate family) - Its silly sometimes how arguments (many times about stupid nothing things) can do so much damage. I believe family is a special bond, especially for the parents who were the people to bring you into this world. That is always going to be special for them and you will always be special to them. You have to respect when somebody has a lot of care for you. So well done and good luck...

 

[lanseri]

You have to respect when somebody has a lot of care for you.

The problem really is when they don't express their affection, or worse: express their affection with disdain.

Or don't care at all. =/

Growing up with no experience of true affection can lead to a crappy situation. The feeling of nonchalance and cold feelings becomes status quo, and when that when someone (perhaps a woman) expresses warmth or affection, it's impossible to relate objectively. Falling head over heels for that rare feeling of warmth, and confusing it for falling for a girl can turn out a bit fucky.