Observations Rejection Aftermath

[trashKENNUT]

I ask a girl out, she rejects me.

To me, i have come to a point that i have detach myself most of the time to it, and i have no problems at it most of the time. Sometimes i will feel sad because she's cute and what i desire as in looks but then it fades off fast. I tend to recover quite fast this days. The thing is, if we are in a work environment and social circle, girls will "weird out". This is completely understandable to me, at least, in a few days but to suddenly act weird around me even in public shows a lot of things though.

and the another part of being detached is when some girls also suddenly feel like they losing you even though you have no feelings for them. I am not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing.

Zac

 

[Chase]

and the another part of being detached is when some girls also suddenly feel like they losing you even though you have no feelings for them. I am not sure if this is a good thing or bad thing.

Just an experience thing. Is it good or bad that a girl is indifferent when some guy crushing on her is panicking that she's losing interest in her? Neither, really... it just is what it is.

That said, it's certainly a USEFUL thing... women go NUTS for you when they're into you but you're "meh" about them. The unflappable man captures many girls' hearts.

Chase

 

[Marty]

Sometimes i will feel sad because she's cute and what i desire as in looks but then it fades off fast. I tend to recover quite fast this days. The thing is, if we are in a work environment and social circle, girls will "weird out".

Zac: you are so right. I have had this happen countless times; you have to ask yourself why the girl "weirds out" like this when she's the one who did the rejecting!

The process is normally follows for me is like this, in the work environment. Her relationship status appears to be irrelevant; I've had it with married girls, single girls, even one who's engaged:

• Girl takes unsolicited provocative action toward me, of varying levels of obviousness (big eyes, looks, winks, smiles, comments etc.)
• I take assertive action, to her evident surprise... she thought she could just continue flirting "neutrally"
• Girl gives me compliance, up to a point (moves with me, tolerates/encourages kino, accepts dates and goes out with me... this varies)
• I push for further compliance
• Girl pulls back with mock horror... "we're just colleagues", "you know I'm married" etc.
• I desist and act very casual and unconcerned
• Girl starts acting weird in one way or another

The final stage of "weirding out" can take multiple forms. One married girl I took out back in April, after she did the rejecting, looked at me with a giggle and shy eyes for the next couple weeks or so; since then she's been looking at me like she wants to kill me.

Another, also married, smiles and winks at me with sparkling eyes, just like she wants me to take another shot at her. No kidding.

The engaged one is a little more modest than she was at the beginning, not actively seeking contact with me any more, but if she finds herself nearby she's all sunshine and light like before. Like she's kinda disappointed I had to ruin all the fun by actually doing something.

It's all part of the delight of being female, I guess! ;-)

 

[trashKENNUT]

Marty,

Another, also married, smiles and winks at me with sparkling eyes, just like she wants me to take another shot at her. No kidding.

I have to admit, Sometimes this girls do play back your game. I believe this is why Chase don't advice Guys here to be known as a player in a social circle or work place. Don't be fool by her Smile, If you like her, ask her out if she is warming up to you again.

Girls can be random that it can make you retarded.

Zac

 

[Marty]

I believe this is why Chase don't advice Guys here to be known as a player in a social circle or work place.

He does indeed advise discretion, but I am discreet in all cases anyway... mainly to protect the girl's reputation. Reading Chase's material, though, it's pretty clear that back in the days when he had an office position, he played the field with the best of them.

Don't be fool by her Smile, If you like her, ask her out if she is warming up to you again.

I've seen her husband... an archetypal "nice guy" with plump cheeks, a steady accounting job and a big smile. So back in May or so she tells me that he normally gives her lessons in advanced Microsoft Excel, but for reasons unexplained, she asks me (unsolicited) to teach her this time instead, and comes to my office for a session. After that little charade I send her an email telling her we should really get coffee outside the office some time soon, but if she prefers to keep things professional, that's cool too.

Well, she leaves my email unanswered, but continues acting from the very next day in exactly the same way... broad smiles, strong eye contact, "happy to see me" expression. Recently I give her a wink, she winks back. Very chatty and warm, not at all like the typical coldness following rejection (or invitation-ignoring). I get the feeling that her Excel class is an "acceptable" pretext for her as far as plausible deniability goes, but seeing each other outside the office is just pushing it too far in her own mind.

Girls can be random that it can make you retarded.

Yeah, exactly... I get the feeling they sometimes don't really know what they want, and want our help to decide for them, but of course retaining the prerogative to change their mind at any time: see above! ;-)

 

[trashKENNUT]

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