Relationship-Building Tips for Classes in College

[normajean106]

I'm just going to cut right to the chase (no pun intended):

Spring semester starts this week for me and I'm not used to social circle dating (I prefer Cold Approach anyway. Its much less risky and offers quite a bit of freedom).

Now, I would like to hone my social skills some more and make connections with a person (specifically a girl, but having another bro around to have your back helps too) on the fly.

I'm not bad at being able to relate to a person in a conversation and creating mutual respect, but when it comes to actually building a connection with a person (especially a girl) I feel like I'm "deep in the dark," so to speak.

When the connection comes naturally with a person and we just "click," I can direct the conversation in the right places then, but the issue starts when I'm trying to open a girl up on the first day of class with little to go off of.

Basically, I can't build a connection with a girl in class (unless it comes naturally outside of class) and I can't think of many openers to use without feeling like the opener is forced.

Any tips or ideas on how to "fix" this?

 

[Mr.Rob]

but when it comes to actually building a connection with a person (especially a girl) I feel like I'm "deep in the dark," so to speak.

Many many girlchase articles on this (Deep diving, emotional connection, 20 ways to talk to a girl and make it go amazing, how to make guy friends, etc).

When the connection comes naturally with a person and we just "click," I can direct the conversation in the right places then, but the issue starts when I'm trying to open a girl up on the first day of class with little to go off of.

Screen for people that you click with. Upgrade yourself so you click with more people. Still be cool and friendly to people you don't click with and see if that changes.

Basically, I can't build a connection with a girl in class (unless it comes naturally outside of class) and I can't think of many openers to use without feeling like the opener is forced.

You don't need to be all PUA in social circle settings. You just need to start natural conversations and make them slightly more engaging and interesting than the average person (the bar is very low).

Here is your opener: "Hey how's your day?"

The bar is very low here so just be a notch more engaging than the average person and interject positivity. Talk to everyone in a friendly manner and take notice of the girls you're talking to screening for chemistry. When class ends go talk to the girl that you like the most and see what happens.

Does this help?

 

[normajean106]

@Mr.Rob

Hmm... interesting. Yes that definitely helps a lot.

Here's a question. As I'm talking to the girl, should I show signs of interest and immediately move the two of us somewhere else after class (or get a number in case she has another class to go to)? Or should I risk being put in the friend zone and take a slower approach?

 

[Mr.Rob]

As I'm talking to the girl, should I show signs of interest and immediately move the two of us somewhere else after class (or get a number in case she has another class to go to)?

Regarding showing signs of interest make it indirect at first and if she bites then up the anty more and more.

Regarding moving the two of you somewhere after class gauge it appropriately. Casually ask her what she's up to for the rest of the day and if it isn't too pressing take her on a coffee date/adventure. Otherwise tell her that you should go study together soon for class and that will be your date excuse "go study together".

 

[normajean106]

As I'm talking to the girl, should I show signs of interest and immediately move the two of us somewhere else after class (or get a number in case she has another class to go to)?

Regarding showing signs of interest make it indirect at first and if she bites then up the anty more and more.

Regarding moving the two of you somewhere after class gauge it appropriately. Casually ask her what she's up to for the rest of the day and if it isn't too pressing take her on a coffee date/adventure. Otherwise tell her that you should go study together soon for class and that will be your date excuse "go study together".

Perfect. I'll try this out ASAP. Thanks a lot!

 

[Fuck This]

Rob nailed it.