Resistance after the fact.

[tensionisheld]

So, I am deep diving with this girl, (My age, from down south, redheaded, and kind of nerdy), and I learn a lot about her.
Things lead to another and within three hours, we end up in bed.
After we do, she mentions that she was a virgin, she was happy it was her first time and I did an amazing job.
But, whenever we talk, and I bring up sexual things, she is irritated and thinks all I care about is sex.
Did I send the wrong message? Why is she averse to sex, when we already did the dirty?

 

[Franco]

Hey tension,

But, whenever we talk, and I bring up sexual things, she is irritated and thinks all I care about is sex.

Whenever a girl says that "all you care about is sex," what she is actually saying is: "I'm worried that you don't actually care about me." You need to continue to be warm with her, and until she is actually your girlfriend (if that is your goal), she will probably continue to challenge you to see if you actually care about her.

Did I send the wrong message? Why is she averse to sex, when we already did the dirty?

Just because you already had sex doesn't mean that she's going to be completely open to anything sexual with you now. Keep in mind that you took her virginity, and she is extremely new to anything having to do with sex, so it is likely that her beliefs about it are still very mainstream right now (i.e. you shouldn't be sleeping with lots of guys; sex is something that should always at least attempt to lead towards love; most men are only after sex and that is a bad thing; etc).

With young girls like these, you have to "break them in slowly," so to speak. She likely won't feel comfortable being extremely sexual around you until you've slept together a handful of times and she knows that you are for real and that you care about her. Make sure to continue to be warm to her before and after sex so that she knows that you actually do care about her feelings and that the only reason you are wanting to be so sexual is simply because you enjoy the thought of her and you being physically intimate.

Hope this helps!

- Franco

 

[tensionisheld]

Franco,
Thanks for the advice, sometimes I forget that seduction is not a competitive game between you and the object of your desire all the time. Being warm is something I need to work, and "breaking her in" just means taking it slow?
Whatever happened to "always move fast" as being a rule when it comes to seduction?

 

[Franco]

...and "breaking her in" just means taking it slow?

Not necessarily. You should definitely continue to have lots of good sex with her; I can guarantee you she is enjoying it. What I mean is, you may want to lay off things like "sexting" and telling her "how hard your dick is when she walks in the door" until she actually feels like she knows you well and that you care about her, first.

Whatever happened to "always move fast" as being a rule when it comes to seduction?

It still applies. But once you've taken her to bed, then you've already completed the seduction.

Check out this excellent article that Chase wrote for more of an explanation on how a girl might act (and how to handle it) after you've completed the seduction:

Women and Drama

- Franco