OR Road Trips with 2 girls.

[SunnyVibes]

Hey all,

I’m on a road trip with a friend and her friend.
Its almost over.
I did not manage to vibe with them.
I am generally quiet and don’t know what to talk about.
Generally they talk about unfamiliar details about their work, complain about small things(I can’t empathize with these) and their experiences with each other. Also sometimes they talk about past relationships(I don’t talk about a girl’s relationships

I feel my vibe is serious.
Also, I introduce topics that might be fun, but are not juicy.
Juicy usually means complaining, gossiping or something along those lines, which I don’t do.

1)How do I vibe for long periods of time?
2)Also, after I’m done deep diving, I feel there’s nothing left to talk about. Is this normal?
3)How do I fluff talk and most importantly keep our energy up?

 

[funkyjam]

I would imagine your road trip would be a good topic to discuss - favorite part, would you do it again, what would you do differently, etc.

Try to learn more about your friend's friend and show genuine interest in learning about her.

To be honest, if they're generally more interested in complaining or gossiping, that's a red flag, as both dwell on the negative.

Here's a list of things you can try asking them about:

1. Vanilla or chocolate?
2. Morning person or night owl?
3. Cats or dogs?
4. Coffee or tea?
6. City life or countryside?
8. Introvert or extrovert?
9. Summer or winter?
10. Sunrise or sunset?
11. Adventure travel or relaxation?
13. Spontaneity or routine?
14. Fiction or non-fiction?
15. Comedy or Drama
16. Texting or calling?
17. Beach vacation or cultural city exploration?
18. Early bird or night person?
19. Cooking at home or dining out?
20. E-book or physical book?
21. Vintage or modern style?
22. Hiking or biking?
23. Classic art or contemporary art?
24. Hip hop or rock music?
26. Movie night in or night out on the town?
27. Comedy or thriller?
28. Planning ahead or going with the flow?
29. Apple products or Android products?
30. Action-packed adventure or relaxing spa day?
Mountains or beach?
Digital planner or physical planner?
Rainy day or sunny day?
Book or movie?
Sweet or savory?

Good luck!

 

[SunnyVibes]

Hey man, thanks for the reply.
It’s an impressive list, I can definitely use it for more than the road trip.
Warmly,
SunnyVibes

 

[Chase]

How do you know these girls / what's the relationship here?

Right now it sounds like you just need to build up reference points to get to the point where you're able to make small talk with others more easily.

I suggest checking out the "Social Skills 101" series:

Social Skills 101

www.girlschase.com

In particular, the small talk article and the conversational calibration article I think will benefit you.

Don't be disappointed if you don't get it right away. When you're socially rough around the edges, you need to pay your dues in the conversation trenches, having conversations that don't go that smoothly, until you familiarize yourself enough with the rules of conversation, gather enough reference points to be able to relate to most anyone, and know how to be interesting.

Chase

 

[SunnyVibes]

Hey Chase,

This is a previous housemate of my mother’s and her current housemate.
I am meeting her for the first time-she invited me to Toronto for a week.

I checked out the articles and have a question.

Can small talk go on for hours—I thought it was the smallest part of socializing?

The calibration article made a lot of sense! Very informative read!

There are some concepts inside which I will practice.

Thanks!

Warmly,
SunnyVibes