FR Routine

[Gentle_Phrases]

Sup guys,

Haven't written a FR in a while. Here's one hot off the presses. I'll keep it barebones so you won't have to skim. It's quite short and to the point.

I spot a woman at the subway station. G= me. F = her

Opener

G: Hi! I'm guessing that you are...Indian?

F: [looks surprised] Oh, yeah! Well...half, on my dad's side. The rest is European

G: Yeah I definitely saw it...it's the brilliant brown eyes

F: Well thank you!

*I introduce myself and we shake hands*

G: Do you think if we stare at the tracks the train will come faster?

Transition onto the Train

G: Hey, are you going the same way?

F: Yeah

G: Okay, lets grab a seat! [we sit next to each other. she crosses her leg towards me]


Mid-Set

F: Yeah, I played the harp and the piano

G: Let me see your hand [she reaches out her hand. I feel her fingertips for callouses. Looked at her hand while I was doing it. My mistake.]

G: You don't have any callouses!

F: Yeah, I didn't stick with it for very long

*Note: I gave frequent small touches here and there to her upper arm, shook her hand multiple times, and occasionally patted the side of her thigh with the back of my hand when making points. Been working on introducing more touch into interactions.

*Seed Date* - Here's where I have a question

G: So what do you do for fun?

F: [She retracts both lips and looks ahead as if thinking. I wait for 3-ish seconds] I dunno, I just hang out with friends or something.

G: Well do you play billiards?

F: Yeah I do play!

G: Alright, well then I'll have to crush you in a match! You're won't cry will you?

F: No haha, I'm not a cry-er

*In retrospect, it seemed as if she was either withholding something...or displeased with that question...or maybe she just pulls both her lips back when she thinks...

End

G: My stop's coming up. Let me take your number so we can set up that match!

F: Okay....[my phone is having technical issues, we resolve it]...you can just text me your name or something

Follow up and Analysis

I sent her a text three hours later.

Sup bitch!

Kidding

Hey F! Nice meeting you today . Can't wait for our billiards death match - G

No response yet (and that was three hours ago). I don't expect one since they usually come within three hours.

I wonder what gave her pause when I asked her what she does for fun? Have any of you guys noticed a trend from that sort of reaction?

 

[Mr.Rob]

I don't think that was the issue (you asking her what she does for fun). My guess is that you asked it in a way where she felt you were going somewhere with it other than actually giving a shit about what she does for fun. Then you transitioned into trying to set up a date and a lot of times, for me at least, when I tried setting up dates as a mega beginner (I guess now I'm just a regular beginner) they always fell short since I was coming from a place of taking.

It's a subtle feeling but girls sense that shit nonetheless. My guess is that when you transitioned into asking what she does for fun she probably knew you were going to lead that into something other than what it seems like you were asking and then you did and proposed a date. She may not have been that into you and it may have come across as chasing. If you've read the article on chasing vs. persisting. Chasing is when she isn't ready to invest more when you're ready for you and her to invest more. That may not be exactly correct but it's close.

This is my guess not my analysis so this is by no means correct. I'm simply speculating on the information I have consumed from GC, similar sources, and own past experience.

-Rob

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Hey Rob,

Thanks for the feedback!

Quick Reactions

I'm simply speculating on the information I have consumed from GC, similar sources, and own past experience

I respect it man! Power of the mastermind group.

they always fell short since I was coming from a place of taking.

I'm not happy that it came across that way to you...if f she thought the same, that doesn't please me at all.

I see your point here

My guess is that you asked it in a way where she felt you were going somewhere with it other than actually giving a shit about what she does for fun.

This is exactly what I was doing. Context was what she does, my subtext was "are you single?" I wanted to see if she would respond "cuddling with my boyfriend" or something similar. I see your point. Maybe I should shelf that phrase and just flat out ask, "hey are you single?" ?

How to handle this

Maybe I don't see day twos because of what you're suggesting; i.e. that I come across...as taking. I don't want to be that guy. I'm hesitant to ask you "how do I fix that" because it seems like the answer wouldn't be a cut and dry do-this do-that. You seem to be phrasing it as matter of relative investment. So, I'll just say thanks for pointing that one out.

She may not have been that into you

There's always that, too.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Dude I've noticed as far as women "not being that into you". A lot of women will be open to you approaching them and having a decent conversation on the spot and smile and whatnot but they never actually hook all the way.

Have you ever been deep sea fishing? Or fishing in general? Either way a lot of times when you first start out fishing you'll have fish sniff your bait or bump up against it and you'll feel a bump and be like "I got a fish!" and start reeling only for the fish not to be hooked when you reel a couple times or fall off really easily if it was chewing on the bait.

When I first started deep sea fishing I would get little hits and be like "I think I got one!" to start reeling and have the experience guys laugh at me. Then they would say "trust me when you actually get a fish you won't say 'I think', you'll say "oh shit help me reel it in!" " . Of course when I actually got a bit there was no "what if's" it was clear black and white, my rod was bending down 90 degrees and there was no way the fish was getting off unless I cut the line.

Obviously with women hooking it's not that black and white, since a lot of times the "maybe" girls can get turned into a yes girl. Nonetheless there's a big difference between what you think a "hook" is and what an actual "hook" is.

I'm just now starting to get a grasp on what the difference is, so no worries there.

As far as coming from a place of taking vs. giving. I don't really know much about it except that as a beginner it's kind of easy to come from a place of taking even if you aren't actually trying to. Your sub/unconscious mind is like alright I'm trying to get on a date/get laid without saying hey I really just want this girl to have an awesome experience and something that she needs that would improve her life. I'm guessing that would be a hard place to come from without any huge success under your belt to go back on. And I may just be talking shit but this is how I perceive it.

I wouldn't make this your ultimate worry, in fact I wouldn't worry about it at all except for maybe changing your overall goal of when you go out to "I have to get a girls number/ line up a date" to "I just want to get into some fun conversations, share good vibes, learn/get to understand women better, and if things look good/I get along good with a girl I like I'll propose a date". I think that's all you can do as a beginner to change from a place of taking to giving. And like I said this is just my perception and what I do so it may not even be a real thing and I can't prove one way or the other that it is. Though Chase does underline the fact that seduction isn't about you! It's about the woman and her experience you provide. So in one sense Chase does back me up I just don't know if I'm interpreting it right... but I'm pretty sure I am .

As far as fixing it in the future goes. I'd be direct and GENUINE and say "you know I'm really enjoying with you I like how you're very feminine but actually have opinions and aren't a pushover. We need more people with an actual back bone these days! Unfortunately I/you have to jet but lets continue this conversation sometime soon over a cup of tea. What do you say?"

This once again may not be entirely the best advice and I'm sure Franco or some other more experience/knowledgeable member could give a better answer of what to actually do but based on what I've gathered from Chase and real world experiences this is what I would say/ how I do say it!.

It's even better if you can have a "fake excuse". The other day I met a girl in Walmart who actually hooked! lol. And at one point of the conversation we were talking about how we both wanted to get out of this town so I, jokingly, interlaced our arms and said "fuck it lets get out now". She laughed and then 30 seconds later transitioned into getting her number by saying "well if were both going to run away and have a whirlwind romance I'm probably going to need your number to contact you once I commandeer a plane to steal" Boom got her number.

Get creative and get a vibe of comfort and enjoyment between the two of you. My overall advice.

Hope this helps. Sorry for writing a novel just now.

-Rob

 

[moolar]

I've experienced that one before. This particular girl used to dig me like a hole....she stares at me,smiles @ me like she wants it and does all those other flirtatious moves that girls do when they feeling a guy. I guess she placed me on a pedestal and always felt I was too much for her....that I wouldn't dig her even if she gave me the hole. Well,to cut a long story short,I recently had an interaction with her. I wasn't all that smooth(in fact,I was rusty),you know. I could tell she was disappointed by my not maintaining the god-like status in which she had before that time,held me. I just knew it was a big FU. So when I texted her and she didn't reply? I let her go. Deleted her number.
However,what I do most of the time is to open women directly(your chances of her listening to what you've to say are significantly increased if your fundamentals are solid). I usually do something like:
Me: Hi,miss
Girl: Hello
Me: Can I ask you a quick question?
Girl: Sure.
Me: Your're not married are you?(I make sure she isn't wearing a ring on her ring finger)
Girl: Nooo (she's shocked and looks at me questioningly)
Me: *smiles*,Well,that's nice. Fact is,I really like you and want to marry you *smiles*
Girl: *Laughs* (They always laugh). You are just kidding,right?
Me: *smiling*,Of course am just kidding. But the truth is that I find you very attractive so I just had to come over and talk to you. *pause*,am Moolar.(shakes her hand)
Girl: Am girl....
Me: Blablabla...
So personally,I do direct game these days. If she digs me? I know it's game on. Saves me loads of time and too much talk. Straight to the point and am off in like 10mins maximum. I always have a place I'm going or an appointment to catch. So I usually close with:
Me: Listen girl,in as much as I enjoy talking with you and would love to continue,I'm sorry I've got to skedaddle *check my time*,but I think we definitely should hookup real soon and do a proper get-acquainted icecream lunch???
Girl: Sure
Me: Lemme have your cell. Would have to text you to see how things work.
Girl: 080****
Me: (if she's super-into me),come on girl,gimme a hug.
So try experimenting on direct openers and see where it gets you. Goodluck,bro.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Rob

Hope this helps. Sorry for writing a novel just now.

Hey Rob, I always appreciate the advice. Yeah, I'm starting to grasp why game requires so much emotional control. I've never been fishing...

Then they would say "trust me when you actually get a fish you won't say 'I think', you'll say "oh shit help me reel it in!"

Makes sense. I've yet to have that feeling.

interlaced our arms and said "fuck it lets get out now". She laughed

You stud!

Moolar

Moolar - thanks for the feedback man!

Me: You're not married are you?(I make sure she isn't wearing a ring on her ring finger)

I've started using this line. One thing to watch out for is that there are some women, especially younger ones, will wear "wedding" rings on that finger just because it's the only finger that it would fit on. I know because I've approached them out of curiosity to verify and a respectable number have told me this. No fiancé, no husband, no boyfriend. Just fashion.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Update

She responded to the text 24 hours later (yesterday evening).

It was nice meeting you to. Maybe we'll run into each other on campus.

Still not getting quick or enthusiastic replies to my texts after cold approach *shrug.*

So, I sent her a text (mid-day today)

Hey F! What's you schedule like this week? Thinking we can relax and have a chat at the diner one evening

No response yet. I'm expecting either a non-committal one tomorrow or an Irish goodbye.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

Update

No response. Number jettisoned!

Relating back to your point Rob, I had a set that "hooked" the other day. Still trying to tease out the differences.