FR Rusty Restart

[AsianPersuasion]

Tonight, I my mind abandoned me so quickly that I felt almost as though I was a beginner again... Not quite, but almost. As soon as I walked up to the girl, my brain flew the coop, and I was basically left pulling things from my ass.. My voice shook slightly once again, I was talking fast, I was tripping over my words, and rather than approaching right away, I saw her, debated for a while, then decided to walk up... Yikes. The plus side is that my body didn't shake and I could still at least improvise, something I couldn't have done as a beginner.

If this is anything like the gym though, the time I spent doing nothing will help me break the plateau I had last summer, and I'll be able to gain far more than what I lost because of it.

Anyway, on with the field report. It was a slow night, with nearly zero girls that weren't employees at our location.. I don't go after employees anymore. Not after getting kicked out of the mall for that. My wing and I were at PINZ, the bowling alley and arcade... Not my ideal place, but nothing else would have been open. As we were walking from the tables to the arcade room, I spotted a girl with brown hair with her friend, but at first decided against it... "She looks older than me..." was one of the myriad of stupid excuses going around in my head at the time. After watching some random dude play guitar hero with my wing for a while, I remembered what I would have told my wing when he was making dumb excuses last summer..

"Okay, cool. Go find out if you're right."

I turned my brain off, walked over there, and before my rustiness could talk me out of it, I opened.

"Hi, umm... before I say anything.. Are you single?"
"Haha umm.. yeah why?"
"I'm normally really shy, and I don't do this very often.. but.. I just saw you and thought you looked really pretty... I wish I could think of a better reason to walk up than that, but I can't haha! I'm AP. What's you're name?
"Oh hahaha, no it's okay! I'm Jenny!"
"Jenny.. Okay, how old are you?"
"19, you?"
"You're just.. barely older than me... I'm 18 haha. When's your birthday?"
"October."
"October what?"
"October something something"
"Huh.. So you're a libra then?"
"Yep!"
"Hmm... So... can I assume then that you always look good when you go out... you're flakey.. but despite your flakiness you'll never be bad company when you do show up?"
"Haha umm... I don't know... I'd just describe myself as me!"
"Just Jenny huh."
"Haha, yep."
"Well, I want something I can work with" (Yikes.) *turn to her friend* "What's she like?"
"Um.. Hahahaha!"
"You like dance dance revolution?"
"No! Haha, we weren't playing at all! I just work here and we were just standing here talking!"
"Are you any good?"
"No! Definitely not!"
"Awesome. Neither am I. Do you wanna play one game then?"
"Um.. No, I'm good. I'm not good at it at all!"
"Well neither am I! What? You think just because I'm Asian, I'm great at DDR?"
*Both of them start laughing hard*
"I thought it'd be interesting for us to both play a game we suck at."
"No, it's fine."

At this point, my wing came over and joined the conversation, but it still didn't go anywhere really... So after some more painful small talk, I popped the question.

"Anyway, since it's clear that I'm too nervous right now to make a decent conversation... You can tell I'm nervous can't you?"
"Hahaha, kinda.."
"Anyway, I'll just ask the question. I wanted to see if I could have your number so we could talk a bit more."
"Oh, I'm sorry.. I can't.. I work here, so I'm not allowed to give my number away.. Otherwise I would!"

And thus, the interaction was over. I said "Yikes!" for a reason. It's somewhat painful for me to type this interaction, but this is, what I feel, the most accurate representation I could give of what went down.... If anything though, this is even more of a reminder of why I need to get back into this... I was far smoother last summer than tonight, and it felt weird having an interaction that awkward. Despite the painful interaction though.. In the end, it surprisingly felt great... I don't really know how to describe the feeling, but I'm glad I got to break loose from my hibernation to go talk to a stranger again.

Next week, I'm going to drive my AA back into the ground once more where it belongs, and show myself how this interaction should have gone.

 

[Richard]

AP,

It's great to see you back in business bro!

That time off did a little damage to ya though, I see.

You already said you felt like a beginner at this again, and you'll get back into the swing of things once you do more approaches.

That said though, I've got a few suggestion:
*Remember to keep moving forward* <-- Always look to be making active steps forward.

Your conversation was a bit platonic, and bland, especially given the expectations you set with your opening question.

"Are you single?" --> Yes --> Capitalize fast because she's interested.

When you asked her if she's single, you immediately set the expectation that you were thinking about sex, or a relationship, something beyond a platonic friendship.

Anyway, you'll pick things back up in no time bro

 

[AsianPersuasion]

No kidding man, haha. I don't think I ever considered a yes to the question a sign of interest, I'll need to from now on though.

How would you have capitalized on getting a yes to that question? And how else can I spice up my bland conversation? Normally I don't focus on what to say exactly so much, but if I'm in this much need of retraining, I gotta start somewhere... This week will be a review week

 

[Chase]

AP-

Welcome back! Nice to see you on the Field Reports board again.

If this is anything like the gym though, the time I spent doing nothing will help me break the plateau I had last summer, and I'll be able to gain far more than what I lost because of it.

Yep - that's genuinely how it works. A little time off allows the mind to gel and condense everything it learned before, and once you shake off the rustiness, you typically get back to where you were before pretty fast, and then proceed to leave your old plateau in the dust. I've seen very few exceptions to this.

I'll refrain from pointing out specific things, aside from don't apologize for your opener ("I don't do this very often" --> sounds like "I do this all the time"; "Wish I could think of a better reason" --> sounds like "The fact that I like you is not reason enough to justify me talking to you", which places her on somewhat of a higher social status plane), because I know it takes a little time to kick that rust off.

That said, this is funny:

"You like dance dance revolution?"
"No! Haha, we weren't playing at all! I just work here and we were just standing here talking!"
"Are you any good?"
"No! Definitely not!"
"Awesome. Neither am I. Do you wanna play one game then?"
"Um.. No, I'm good. I'm not good at it at all!"
"Well neither am I! What? You think just because I'm Asian, I'm great at DDR?"
*Both of them start laughing hard*

BUT, do be careful about leaning on the race card for laughs too much - it can drive a wedge between you and the girl you're talking to if you're not careful about it. Can be funny, but can also be one of those, "Oh, we're different," rather than, "Wow, look how similar we are," type deals.

Great to see you active again, man

Chase

 

[Richard]

No kidding man, haha. I don't think I ever considered a yes to the question a sign of interest, I'll need to from now on though.

How would you have capitalized on getting a yes to that question? And how else can I spice up my bland conversation? Normally I don't focus on what to say exactly so much, but if I'm in this much need of retraining, I gotta start somewhere... This week will be a review week

Well, I know that girls who reply immediately with yeses, are after what you are; sex or something beyond platonic friendship.

So I would've steered the conversation that way. Would've used sex and chase framing, compliance testing, and hell, I might of escalated that day if things went right

"19, you?"

Let's just say I'm legal for ya

"Oh hahaha, no it's okay! I'm Jenny!"

<-- She did a lot for you here. After you asked her if she's single, then complimented her after asking, you solidified in her mind the reason for you approaching her, and when she says this she's telling you it's probably mutual.

"Oh, I'm sorry.. I can't.. I work here, so I'm not allowed to give my number away.. Otherwise I would!"

I guarantee that if you woulda got past the small talk, you woulda got her number bro =P

 

[AsianPersuasion]

Unfortunately my interactions didn't last long enough to use all this advice tonight. I'll definitely see to it that I keep at it and use this in the field. I can't tell you guys enough how glad I am to have a place to post and get feedback like this!