Said other girls name, how to fix?

[enrico]

I was having fun doing some foreplay with my girlfriend this morning, we'd been out all night and I was on 25 hours without sleep. I started to fall asleep while playing with her (I was very tired) and in my half asleep state I started talking about work and mentioned another girls name. It was nonsense that had nothing to do with what we were doing. "Gemma will send for them".

She flipped out and was furious, asking who this girl was. I mentioned it was a girl from work and she was even more furious. She rolled over in the bed and wouldn't let me touch her. This escalated and she left the room and went downstairs. She was clearly very upset and hurt.

I apologised because I knew I fucked up and she was very hurt by this. I tried to take a strategic position of weakness (courtesy of @Skills ), I apologised, told her I loved her and how much she means but she was furious. She didn't kick me out, I was allowed toe stay which I thought was a good sign that she just wanted to feel understood.

The position of weakness didn't do this, she said how I've just shown how little I cared and asked me why I was still there (I guess asking me to leave now). I had to leave for work so I left. I feel awful, I can imagine how hurt she feels.

I don't know how to fix this, I clearly didn't mean anything by this but she's not wanting to listen and telling me we're done. I would appreciate any advice.

Enrico

 

[Gunwitch]

From chat:


like anytime a chick is mad
means she cares
this is like paranoid jealousy
were dreaming
will work itself out for her to get this mad over a dream, she has strong feelings, she will come to senses
or she's batshit crazy
or small chance she wanted rid of you anyway
do nothing

Gun

 

[enrico]

Thanks @Gunwitch the issue I have is this wasn't a dream, I was rubbing her clit in bed, we'd been at it a while and with 25 hours no sleep I was falling asleep. When drifting asleep I mentioned something work related and said another girls name from work and she got incredibly upset.

I'm happy to do nothing and wait it out but I feel like a fraud with the gifts from her mum. (Mentioned in chat it was my bday, I got gifts from her mum which were still in my car when I left, I feel like a fraud with the gifts and feel I need to return them)

She wasn't wanting to listen this morning when I said I was talking work stuff and she framed it that I wasn't thinking about her while playing with her or falling asleep and either doesn't look good.

I couldn't combat this frame, I was too exhausted to think. I just don't really know what to say to her or when to message/phone

Enrico

 

[Skills]

I don't understand why you did strategic position of weakness when you did nothing wrong..... here you should have explained what you did in the post, babe you are overreacting I was tired talking in my sleep half awake talking gibirish, done and own it.... If you read the post I made and context I specially is on the post no to use in relationships...the post is for pre lay women that will ghost for a mistake during the seduction due to missunderstandings... Placating like this to women during relationship kills attraction and causes betayization...


this is by skills on that post notice i put in caps letter:


"BIG CAUTION.- The only time you do not want to go into strategic positions of weakness is when she is trying to break up after you have been together cause she is checking out and the move here is to actually be closer to the door/out... This is not what this post is about is mainly pre lay women or women you have laid less than 3 times (which is the investment threshold sweet spot in my opinion)


BIG CAUTION 2.- If she is tooling you too much nexting is a good strategy, but you can combine strategic weakness with a cool disclaimer of boundary in it (ideal)

Big CAUTION 3.- In relationship you want to be careful when she is trying betatization attempts, this post is not about relationships... In my relationship i actually hardly ever apologize to the point they go numb and then stop betatization attempts almost completely..."




Finally, your girl may be projecting she was out all night, and over reacting like this, be careful...

 

[Skills]

@enrico i edited the post above, strategic position of weakness was HORRIBLE, anyways, you need to be more closer to the door, and boundary setting, she is smelling blood and gonna go for the kill.... You need to understand how attraction works during the relationship when she is throwing does tamtrums and she sees you are being reactive and a scare puppy, she will double down and punish you more (like she is doing)....

You explain the situation, you own it, she will want to keep repeating herself, you said listen i already explained what happened i am not going to cont. repeating myself, there is nothing between me and that girl is just a co worker, me with you or not being with you i don't fuck or mess with co worker that a fact.....

^ you can not act with women like you are scare of LOSING THEM they know this and they can feel this, i know it does not make sense what i am writing you need to trust me on this..... You need to act like if she leaves or not you will be ok,.... Buys get overly needy and placating during stuff like this PUSHES WOMEN AWAY.... Again i know in your brain makes no logical sense...

Dude i call women other women names during sex, so what you are going through is none sense... If i take a bet she is projecting, testing and smelling blood in a water..... Don't let her flip dynamics and her being the one up in a leadership position.... is death...

 

[enrico]

Thanks @Skills I'm new to relationships so this is all new to me. I haven't read that post recently so thanks for including the warnings in this thread.

I originally owned what happened and explained that what I said made no sense and was about work. She said she just heard the other girls name and flipped. This is where I apologised because I could see how hurt she was by this, she clearly took it out of context and just heard the other name.

She flipped and probably smelt blood and doubled down. I should've stood my ground but I didn't, I made the horrible mistake of a strategic position of weakness.

Do I double back, explain what happened (again) and stand my ground?

Enrico

 

[Bill]

Once you’d made the logical point don’t continue doubling down on it, you need to change her mood so it alters how she interprets things.
Is the coworker unattractive or much older? If so show her a picture of her and make it clear you aren’t attracted to her in any way and were just thinking about work.

 

[Skills]

Thanks @Skills I'm new to relationships so this is all new to me. I haven't read that post recently so thanks for including the warnings in this thread.

I originally owned what happened and explained that what I said made no sense and was about work. She said she just heard the other girls name and flipped. This is where I apologised because I could see how hurt she was by this, she clearly took it out of context and just heard the other name.

She flipped and probably smelt blood and doubled down. I should've stood my ground but I didn't, I made the horrible mistake of a strategic position of weakness.

Do I double back, explain what happened (again) and stand my ground?

Enrico

No let it be, give her lots of space and act like nothing happened, act normal if she brings her up again, explain it one more time and tell her we can not be rehashing something so silly, relationships are hard and complicated and have Real issues to sit here and dwell and ruin this relationship, is not going to happen this issue is dead, again even if I am not with you I don't mess with coworkers and I am not attracted to her and you have everything I want and need, if can not understand this, is your problem topic is dead I am not talking about this anymore... If she keeps repeating herself say subject is dead not talking about it...

Those warnings were in that post since day one, i said i edited the answer in this particular post.... you can not edit post in this forum after couple of days...

Last edited: Oct 23, 2020

 

[enrico]

Thanks @Skills and I didn't say you edited the strategic position of weakness post, I was explaining that I couldn't remember the post very well and forgot that this doesn't apply to this situation. I was thanking you for including these parts in this thread as it will be useful for anyone reading this thread.

Enrico

 

[enrico]

@Bill the coworker is twice her age but she's actually good looking. I think my girlfriend is a lot more attractive, but I also believe she'd feel very threatened by her.

Enrico

 

[Gladiator]

Chase had an article which I can't find now. Anyway, the gist of it was, girls throw tantrums and make a mountain of a molehill when they're not getting fucked well.

Besides what others have advised, this is an angle to look at IMO. While fucking her hard, say "Do you really think I'll go after other women?".

It maybe biological or evolutionary or both but when a girl is getting fucked well, she feels desired and trusts you better.

I'm not an expert in relationships. So, take it with a grain of salt but I do think that it's a general solution when dealing with most silly problems from women. It's worked well most times for me.

The more you try to convince a girl verbally, you're only digging your grave deeper. Just change the topic, tease her like a kid, fuck her hard and instruct her not to do that again.