Hey,
This is my first post on the forum but I've been following girlschase for quite some years now and I would like to thank all the team (specially Chase) for the great and deep insight you can provide on social arts in general.
My goal with this post is mainly to understand what is happening in a girl's mind when she is acting the way I will describe.
So I have met this "shy excited girl" some time ago and I was able to make her comply for some quick dates after she refused in a playful way at first. I did have to walk away twice so that she had to chase after me (I was starting to get too much emotionally involved). Soon after we went to have a picnic dinner and we did share some very shy kisses (actually I felt like I was in primary school once again). At that moment I did tie her shyness to how inexperienced she seemed to be. Later on that day and after some rationalization I acknowledged that she was just probably trying to keep me on the hook while making up her mind. Now this is where things started to confuse me.
After this I asked her out again and she just made up some messed up excuse. It was clear that she didn't have a clear interest on me and so I backed off and just started to reply very short and politely to her texts or facebook messages and sometimes not even answering at all (when she was forcing the dialogue with small talk. I was trying to just get her off my head and move on). But then some days later she just texts me again and I keep giving her the short polite answers. At a certain point she told me that she liked me and if she didn't want to get to know me better she wouldn't went out to grab dinner with me at all or even kissed me. Once again, these are just words trying to keep me on the hook as her actions speak otherwise. I got a little warmer but kept my distance anyway.
I've been very busy with work after we were "together" and I told her I couldn't schedule anything for the next 2 weeks after that, she was cool with it and told me we could be together when I was more free. When I was ending those busy weeks I texted her that I would have some free time starting that next weekend and she just made up an excuse, not only for that weekend, but for the next one too! Worse, while the 1st excuse was acceptable, the 2nd one was just ridiculous (she had to go to her town's folklore parties, wth). At that time I was starting to be more responsive again but after I got that excuse I just decided to really forget all about this girl (I already got in bed with another girl that was chasing after me) and I returned to the very short polite answers. As stated in the "shy excited girls" post, this one seems like she likes to chase after, but right now it looks she's chasing after me to force a friendship. It's clear that she isn't interested in getting sexual/romantically with me and she wants to be just friends, but what kind of friendship does she want with someone who barely answers her or develops any conversation?? What exactly is she wanting now? She has a lot of friends and for me it's hard to understand how can someone try to unilaterally force a friendship and put such effort on that. I usually don't like to just plain and simply ignore an initial text (specially because she still messes up with my head) but I am seriously considering that now as I am really tired of being in touch with her.
Does anyone have any insight on this and can clarify what exactly could this girl be thinking? Is she still trying to keep me on the hook for emotional validation? Is she genuinely interested and forcing on being friends?
Best,
Tiago
This is my first post on the forum but I've been following girlschase for quite some years now and I would like to thank all the team (specially Chase) for the great and deep insight you can provide on social arts in general.
My goal with this post is mainly to understand what is happening in a girl's mind when she is acting the way I will describe.
So I have met this "shy excited girl" some time ago and I was able to make her comply for some quick dates after she refused in a playful way at first. I did have to walk away twice so that she had to chase after me (I was starting to get too much emotionally involved). Soon after we went to have a picnic dinner and we did share some very shy kisses (actually I felt like I was in primary school once again). At that moment I did tie her shyness to how inexperienced she seemed to be. Later on that day and after some rationalization I acknowledged that she was just probably trying to keep me on the hook while making up her mind. Now this is where things started to confuse me.
After this I asked her out again and she just made up some messed up excuse. It was clear that she didn't have a clear interest on me and so I backed off and just started to reply very short and politely to her texts or facebook messages and sometimes not even answering at all (when she was forcing the dialogue with small talk. I was trying to just get her off my head and move on). But then some days later she just texts me again and I keep giving her the short polite answers. At a certain point she told me that she liked me and if she didn't want to get to know me better she wouldn't went out to grab dinner with me at all or even kissed me. Once again, these are just words trying to keep me on the hook as her actions speak otherwise. I got a little warmer but kept my distance anyway.
I've been very busy with work after we were "together" and I told her I couldn't schedule anything for the next 2 weeks after that, she was cool with it and told me we could be together when I was more free. When I was ending those busy weeks I texted her that I would have some free time starting that next weekend and she just made up an excuse, not only for that weekend, but for the next one too! Worse, while the 1st excuse was acceptable, the 2nd one was just ridiculous (she had to go to her town's folklore parties, wth). At that time I was starting to be more responsive again but after I got that excuse I just decided to really forget all about this girl (I already got in bed with another girl that was chasing after me) and I returned to the very short polite answers. As stated in the "shy excited girls" post, this one seems like she likes to chase after, but right now it looks she's chasing after me to force a friendship. It's clear that she isn't interested in getting sexual/romantically with me and she wants to be just friends, but what kind of friendship does she want with someone who barely answers her or develops any conversation?? What exactly is she wanting now? She has a lot of friends and for me it's hard to understand how can someone try to unilaterally force a friendship and put such effort on that. I usually don't like to just plain and simply ignore an initial text (specially because she still messes up with my head) but I am seriously considering that now as I am really tired of being in touch with her.
Does anyone have any insight on this and can clarify what exactly could this girl be thinking? Is she still trying to keep me on the hook for emotional validation? Is she genuinely interested and forcing on being friends?
Best,
Tiago
