sending out love to the world

[alllove]

Hello, I'd like to start a journal hoping to get some encouragement and support and just to log what I go through each time I go about this.

Brief introduction, I'm in my early 30s and this had been one thing that I had most challenges growing up and that I wasn't very good at. I don't consider myself very experienced with women. I'm quite shy and not really social especially when it comes to women. I've slept with 8 women so far and I'm still very clueless when it comes to women. It's still very challenging for me to just approach women and I think I struggle with a lot of anxiety and fear still in general with women. People say it gets easier as you approach and interact more, but it wasn't the case with me. It's more all over the place. It gets hard at times. and some days it'll be a lot easier. Anyways, it's still very challenging for me. Anyways, here it goes.

(It started off as just wanting to sleep with a lot of women, but now it has become more of a deeper personal challenge for me. Facing fear. Facing insecurity. Dealing with hardship, hoping one day it wouldn't be so much about struggle but I'd be able to smile and just enjoy and live)

Today I will try to approach one. Anyone who wants to chime in, please do so but be nice and be a little more understanding, since this is one of the toughest things I've been dealing with so far. What may be easy for you may be very challenging for me. So nice words of encouragement and support would be very appreciated.

Thank you.

 

[alllove]

Wow, I aimed for 1 approach today but I ended up doing two. I'm very happy about this.
So as I kept going around the busy mall a couple of times, not sure if it was gonna happen, and thought about changing the different venue a couple of times, after over 30 minutes or so, I spotted a lady that was by herself walking and somehow got my courage to approach. I was very nervous at the time but I did it and I was sweating. After the approach, I felt my perspective shift and I could feel it did something to my brain and altered my state. I was content and I could go home happy but then I saw another tiny cute girl passing by and it didn't take long enough for me to shift my direction and head towards her to approach. I was nervous as hell during the whole interaction and I'm sure she felt it but she was very nice and sweet to carry on with the interaction. After that I definitely felt my reality shift. It was as if something that was blocked in my brain was unclogged and opened up a new reality. After that girls seemed hotter and more beautiful and I was even able to spot more girls that were by themselves. Overall, I was just feeling great and excited and just enjoyed the feeling and seeing how there are so many beautiful girls in this world.

I want to thank both of those ladies that gave me the opportunity to approach and lift up my spirit today. I hope I have contributed something positive to those two ladies as well even if they were very brief exchanges. They definitely made my day.

I hope to keep up and appreciate every little steps and interactions throughout this journey, and not take all these each attempts and interactions and people I meet for granted.

I'm going to eat my food. Relax a little bit. And get on with two more tasks I need to do today.

Thank you for another great day