FR Seriously LOST IN SET??? (10 Cold-Approaches)

[Gentle_Phrases]

Main question: How do you guys know "where you are" in set with a woman? Attraction, comfort, etc.

I did ten approaches on the street today. Following Chase's book I established three goals. They were:

1. 10 approaches - Mission Accomplished
2. One solid phone number that would lead to a day two - Fail. I didn't ask a single girl for her number. There was only one that I should have in retrospect. However, she didn't meet my ten minutes requirement.
3. One mutual hand hold with interlaced fingers - Fail.

My most productive set was one instant-date. The chick was in town for only today before flying home.

Opener:

Me: *Open her from the side as we continue to walk and talk* Take a lot of pictures yet?
Her: Haha, not yet
Me: Don't worry, you'll get there. Watch out for all these people though.
Her: Yeah, there are so many of them! I should have come out early in the morning to do it. That way the shots would come out better.
Me: Yeah, right now you'll probably get a load of photo-bombers

The Stop:

Me: Hey, are you...Polish or Ukrainian?
Her: No,no...you'd never guess...
Me: Oh, well then I'd say...American!
Her: Haha, you've got it. I am American
Me: So what are you actually?
Her: Blah blah blah
Me: You seem very sweet and personable, let's chat
Her: Okay

Teasing: *Here I was monitoring myself, trying to avoid anything silly/over the top, per Marty and Chase's advice*

Me: Do you brush three times a day? You have very white teeth *she also had some DSL, if you know what I mean*
Her: Thanks, every day! You have very white teeth too *Damn straight, been working on that for a few weeks. SPARKLE!*
Me: Thanks, I cheated though - whitening strips
Her: Haha, no, I didn't I just brush
Me: Good, good...do you floss? *cheeky smile*
Her: Uh-huh
Me: Every day?
Her: Wellllll maybe 2 to three times a week *cheeky smile*
Me: B.s.! I don't believe you!!
Her: Hahaha, I do I promise!

[later, I catch her staring at some woman's shoes]

Me: Were you just checking her out?
Her: No, I just saw something green on her shoes
Me: You were totally staring at her butt a second ago
Her: What, no???
Me: Hey no judgement. Are you a lesbian?
Her: No, no, I'm straight
Me: Oh good. Here I was flirting with you and for a second...I thought you were playing on the other team *okay, so I got silly. Shoot me*
Her: *blank look, mouth slightly agape*
Me: So what were we talking about?
Her: Uhhh....I don't remember?
Me: Blah blah blah

I deep dive for a while, then move her. At first as we start to move, she makes a face like "wtf" but quickly says "sure." As we're walking and talking, I finally understand that she lives in another state and is leaving on a flight tonight. She had said that earlier but it didn't "click." She says multiple times:

Her: I'm sorry for wasting your time!

I respond with, "hey it was still cool meeting you." I walk and chat with her a bit more, then decide to bail. She was the fourth girl that I approached today. As I say goodbye, she reaches out her hand. Instead I say:

Me: Hug it out, bro *I throw my arms out wide*
Her: Haha okay *puts her head on my shoulder*

Looking back, I should have tried to push it to the limit, just to see what would happen, plus to update you guys. It was just like another experience way back when I had a four hour instant date with another girl. The thing is, you guys, I've noticed that I don't know where I am with a woman. I just don't know. Instead, I go by time and assumptions.The assumption is that things will work out if I spend more time in set. This now seems stupid. I'm now nixing my 10 minute date suggestion rule. Instead it'll now be persist twice and then suggest meeting up later.

Two Biggest Question On My Mind:

Why is it that no matter what time I go out, a girl has such pressing things to do/friends to meet?

Why is it that women in general have a habit of walking slightly ahead of me when we walk and talk?

Future Plans:

Sticking with these three outing goals again.

 

[Marty]

Gentle Phrases, quick one here, this makes me furrow my brow...

Fail. I didn't ask a single girl for her number. There was only one that I should have in retrospect.

I may not be exactly a role model to emulate here, but this seems off—once I've gone to the trouble of opening a girl, I very seldom refrain from attempting to number-close, unless:

• She blows me off with a boyfriend objection before I've even asked for a date: this does happen sometimes and can indicate either that my fundamentals or approach vibe were way off, or conversely, that she really is attached and I was so unmistakably direct in my opener, she felt she had to do this
  
• She is disqualified in some way... e.g. once I met a beautiful blonde whom I didn't know, in a bookstore on a Sunday, miles from where I work, but it turned out she was a colleague from another division; or she could be ridiculously young (e.g. 18 and still in high school—for some reason I can't deal with that, whilst 18 and in university is apparently fine in my irrational mind)
  
• I just get a real negative vibe from her and decide to abort, or she shuts it down herself

As I say, it's rare. So my recommendation is for you to push further once you've actually taken the plunge and opened... after all that what else do you have to lose?

-Marty

 

[Mr.Rob]

I did ten approaches on the street today. Following Chase's book I established three goals. They were:

1. 10 approaches - Mission Accomplished
2. One solid phone number that would lead to a day two - Fail. I didn't ask a single girl for her number. There was only one that I should have in retrospect. However, she didn't meet my ten minutes requirement.
3. One mutual hand hold with interlaced fingers - Fail.

When you say get one solid phone number you might as well say go get laid. It's not something you can really focus your energies on but more or less an aim as discussed
here--------> https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=117

Also I like #3 but whenever I set an outing goal like this I usually become outcome dependent (though you could be different) since I'm thinking of the perfect moment to hold her hand and I hesitate due to expectations.

Remember "Expectation creates Hesitation... which leaves you sucking your own dick instead of her blowing you"

So these days I set the goal of practicing escalation by touch, which is essentially what you're going after in your goal.

And what that looks like is this "every girl I get into an interaction with I'm going to break the touch barrier gradually take bigger touch risks until she rejects my advances" or "practice breaking the touch barrier on highpoints".

The first one is similar to the 25 makeout rejection challenge because you're going into the interaction assuming you're going to get rejected so you don't really give as big a fuck and it's not a huge deal (your goal is to get rejected). Also it gets you comfortable with women rejecting your touch advances, which is going to happen , and you get to practice not being fazed by it (just give her a sexy knowing smile and resume normal conversation). As you know when a girl rejects your touch advances it's not a "no never" but a "not right now, maybe later "... at least for the charismatic sexy man that we're all destined to be via persistence.

Main question: How do you guys know "where you are" in set with a woman? Attraction, comfort, etc.

This one still gets me from time to time though I'm getting better at it. I remember 2 interactions this year that I went on instant dates and went around seemingly forever thinking I was about to get close and then ended up sabotaging my efforts through multiple mistakes, missing escalation windows, bad convo threads, the works. I know I went wrong somewhere but couldn't ever really place my finger on it.
Speculating I think exposure and presence (in the moment) have a lot to do with figuring this one out. Knowing your work ethic I'm sure you'll keep hammering away and figure it out before I do.

Me: *Open her from the side as we continue to walk and talk* Take a lot of pictures yet?
Her: Haha, not yet
Me: Don't worry, you'll get there. Watch out for all these people though.
Her: Yeah, there are so many of them! I should have come out early in the morning to do it. That way the shots would come out better.
Me: Yeah, right now you'll probably get a load of photo-bombers

Your opener was extremely boring and indirect. I have nothing against speaking the first thing that comes to your mind since that's genuine and comes across more natural, but knowing that you seem to have a sticking point of women not thinking your sexy it might be a good idea for you to go direct ASAP and get your intentions across so they know what you're about and possibly get an up in attraction. It certainly helped me a lot when I was no where close to being sexy.

Me: Were you just checking her out?
Her: No, I just saw something green on her shoes
Me: You were totally staring at her butt a second ago
Her: What, no???
Me: Hey no judgement. Are you a lesbian?
Her: No, no, I'm straight
Me: Oh good. Here I was flirting with you and for a second...I thought you were playing on the other team *okay, so I got silly. Shoot me*
Her: *blank look, mouth slightly agape*
Me: So what were we talking about?
Her: Uhhh....I don't remember?
Me: Blah blah blah

I like this it's setting more of a sexual frame and shows that your comfortable in your sexuality and make you come across a bit of a bad boy since your pushing social norms. I also like how this is somewhat of a weird conversation to have with someone that you just met and your totally fine being weird because its yourself. Now find a way to throw a sexual frame in there next time!

I respond with, "hey it was still cool meeting you." I walk and chat with her a bit more, then decide to bail.

Cool attitude and not being bitter for her wasting your time. You improved her life and broke her out of the social matrix and her trite day, not all is lost.

Why is it that women in general have a habit of walking slightly ahead of me when we walk and talk?

Everytime I've had this problem, which is definitely more than once, I've thought it has been that she doesn't really feel sure about my leadership. Looking inward at those times when that happened I never felt sure about my own leadership and it was tentative. If you feel it she's feeling it X2. Eventually I lead some women into some very fun encounters and it has made me more certain of my leadership.

Leadership is leading her from where she is to someplace better and you have to be 100% sure that where/what you going to do with her is going to be of benefit to her life whether its moving her to sit down because its more comfortable, building an emotional connection that inspires her, or giving her your sexual energy in a steamy encounter.

You inspire me G_P, you're a tenacious mother fucker.

Willy Beck made a video about how some guys progress fast and get places quick and others have a much slower, adversity filled journey. Though those that push through and persist past sticking points that take ages to overcome value and relish the success so much more than the guy that overcame a bit of A.A. learned how to deep dive and now gets LR after LR.

You're going to be that guy G_P, and your going to inspire a whole bunch of mother fuckers in the process.

In the words of CT Fletcher "I SEEK PAIN! I SEEK CHALLENGE! I DON'T WANT THAT SHIT IF IT'S EASY!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQCXLwoFlBA&list=UUBDWo0g9N8pL8c9QhE8Lxxw Skip to :45

You put it on the bar and came down with this shit (learning seduction) YOU'RE GOING TO COME UP WITH THIS SHIT GOD DAMMIT!

COMMAND YOURSELF TO BE SEXY!

Over and out

-Rob

 

[Dern]

How do you guys know "where you are" in set with a woman? Attraction, comfort, etc.

Takes practice to develop social calibration like this. That is why Chase puts such a huge emphasis on results and not reactions. Her playing with her hair and smiling and laughing a lot may seem good, but it doesn't mean shit if she doesn't agree to show you her ring, move with you, kiss you, sleep with you, etc.

Therefore, you won't know for sure if a girl is attracted to you unless you try to get her to do these things.

Why is it that no matter what time I go out, a girl has such pressing things to do/friends to meet?

Cause it's the daytime, and most people get shit done in the daytime.

Why is it that women in general have a habit of walking slightly ahead of me when we walk and talk?

This drives me crazy sometimes as well. I've actually called girls out on this and they'll say things like: "cause I have to go catch a bus!" OR "I'll be late for class!" Then I'll be like: "Ok! Have a nice day!" And I'll go find another girl who isn't going to waste my time.

Honestly, if a girl is walking in front of you, walk slower. Anatman mentioned this on one of my threads. If a girl slows down to match your pace, you're getting non-verbal compliance right there (which, my friend, can be taken as a sign that she is interested).

I have to work on this as well. I often find myself guilty of walking fast to catch up to a girl so that I can approach her, and then end up following her pace instead of slowing down and making her match my pace.

Anyways, good job on accomplishing 10 approaches. Keep up the good work!