A
Anonymous
Guest
Hello, I'm sorry if similar topics have been previously covered.
Background: She is a former coworker, known each other for years, lots of tension between us. we are both going through divorce. (yes i know dating while going through divorce is a bad idea for a whole host of reasons) over the last 6 months it has come to light that we both are into each other. Things have intensified. We have been sneaking around for brief hang outs, sexy texts, flirting, and serious discussions about our divorces. no physical relationship yet. She won't commit to hang outs longer than an hour, usually daytime during lunch breaks, no chance of getting somewhere private. She understands that our situation has to be more calculated and planned than people who are casually dating, maybe she is nervous about "cheating", that part isn't clear. We have crossed every line except the physical and are doing all the lying and sneaking around of cheaters without ACTUALLY physically doing anything. 9 out of 10 times she contacts me.
I need to right this ship. She would be girlfriend material, but the short term goal is to get her into bed. I have made mistakes. I have allowed conversations to get too serious, I haven't gone in for kisses yet, I haven't kept my proximity close enough. I've made romantic gestures.
The one thing I think I'm doing right is i rarely contact her first, she normally reaches out to me, so I know she is thinking about me, the problem is she will make plans for hang outs and then flakes the day of.
Part of me feels like the writing is on the wall and i need to move on, she clearly isn't ready and is just enjoying the fantasy of being in an affair. But Another part of me thinks I can bring the situation out of fantasy and into reality.
Any thoughts? friendzoned? hypothetically, lets say i'm not beating a dead horse here..... How can i get her to commit to longer hangouts? Or should i just go for the kiss during the next short hang out. I feel like if i don't make a move on the next hang out no matter how long it is, If i don't make a move it'll seal the fate of this situation for good.
I am aware everyone's first instinct is going to tell me to move on, but i do think this is recoverable, the divorces make it more complicated, and if they weren't part of the situation, i KNOW i would have closed the sale months ago. so If we could stick to solutions that help with my goal of making moves and getting her into bed that would be much appreciated. Thank you all for reading!
Background: She is a former coworker, known each other for years, lots of tension between us. we are both going through divorce. (yes i know dating while going through divorce is a bad idea for a whole host of reasons) over the last 6 months it has come to light that we both are into each other. Things have intensified. We have been sneaking around for brief hang outs, sexy texts, flirting, and serious discussions about our divorces. no physical relationship yet. She won't commit to hang outs longer than an hour, usually daytime during lunch breaks, no chance of getting somewhere private. She understands that our situation has to be more calculated and planned than people who are casually dating, maybe she is nervous about "cheating", that part isn't clear. We have crossed every line except the physical and are doing all the lying and sneaking around of cheaters without ACTUALLY physically doing anything. 9 out of 10 times she contacts me.
I need to right this ship. She would be girlfriend material, but the short term goal is to get her into bed. I have made mistakes. I have allowed conversations to get too serious, I haven't gone in for kisses yet, I haven't kept my proximity close enough. I've made romantic gestures.
The one thing I think I'm doing right is i rarely contact her first, she normally reaches out to me, so I know she is thinking about me, the problem is she will make plans for hang outs and then flakes the day of.
Part of me feels like the writing is on the wall and i need to move on, she clearly isn't ready and is just enjoying the fantasy of being in an affair. But Another part of me thinks I can bring the situation out of fantasy and into reality.
Any thoughts? friendzoned? hypothetically, lets say i'm not beating a dead horse here..... How can i get her to commit to longer hangouts? Or should i just go for the kiss during the next short hang out. I feel like if i don't make a move on the next hang out no matter how long it is, If i don't make a move it'll seal the fate of this situation for good.
I am aware everyone's first instinct is going to tell me to move on, but i do think this is recoverable, the divorces make it more complicated, and if they weren't part of the situation, i KNOW i would have closed the sale months ago. so If we could stick to solutions that help with my goal of making moves and getting her into bed that would be much appreciated. Thank you all for reading!
