- Joined
- May 10, 2024
- Messages
- 30
In keeping with tradition, I met with some civilian friends for some pre-Game poker. This time however, my initial state was fairly lackluster: I wasn't flowing; what I said didn't hit or was just milliseconds too late to have the intended effect; I was basically sidelined in the conversation while I struggled to mount the vibe wave. This is a fairly common occurrence when I spend all day in a very logical headspace in front of the computer as I just had. Slowly the social gears creaked into motion, but I think I can do better. I need to get myself talking freely prior to a conversation I need to calibrate to and be stifled by; in other words I gotta talk to myself. Some ideas:
Biggest regret of the night: a blonde 2-set that both made EC multiple times and I still convinced myself approaching would be weak or tryhard which, in the manner of the best self-fulfilling prophecies, became true as soon as I didn't act immediately. I even had an able and willing wing on standby, Mr. Natural. I've classified this as an entitlement issue resulting in paralysis. Some ideas:
Next followed a brief bout of pure self-amusement where I passed some comically short girls shuffling towards the bathroom and made an "aww, so cute" facial expression while indicating their diminutive stature with my hand. Their reaction was a hilarious combination of indignation and agreement. I decided not to open further as I'd have my work cut out for me to dig myself out of that particular hole.
Soon after, I opened a 2-set with HB8 Tiktok and HB7 Singer. I forgot the opener (maybe something like asking if they went to my high school, lame as that is), but it "worked" and goes to show the relative unimportance of the opener if backed by the correct vibe, which I had coming off the previous interactions. The million-dollar mouthpiece was now in full, unfettered operation and I playfully busted on them both while establishing physical rapport naturally and smoothly.
It was easy to keep them both engaged, seems I have a knack for playing people off one another (and it's fun for me). Game for me is also a process of self-discovery where I find out about aspects of my personality I didn't even know existed. Regardless, here was my first error: my intentions were vague at best. The Man2Woman frame was never explicitly established which, at my level of game, is a problem as I found out later. Some ideas:
We played the age-guessing game, with me basically nailing it and her wildly off in the older direction, as usual. She let drop she was a singer, or trained to be at least, and I clumsily attempted perhaps my first ever consciously planned qualification, telling her that was genuinely cool and impressive and that I loved singing and wanted to get better at it (all true). Around this time the IOIs starting coming hard and fast. Not certain they were directly caused by the qualification, rather the whole experience up to then. I felt the Man2Woman dynamic was now implicitly established.
Then, the first AMOG crisis of the night. An elder to my other side piped up about music and singers and whatnot, proceeding to talk across me with HBSinger and effectively cutting me out, even as I sat right in between them. I was uncertain how to handle this. I didn't want to appear a dick by overtly tooling him in some unspecified way just for his innocent-seeming conversation on music. On the other hand, I had nothing to contribute to the conversation of my own and wasn't totally pleased with his interruption. As a result, I stayed mostly silent, but still touching legs with HBSinger under the table, until:
Elder: blah blah Beyonce blah blah, [something about me being gay]
Me: [taken aback] "wha-"
HBSinger: "why would you think he's gay?"
Elder: "he's just so NICE"
HBSinger: "ARE you gay?"
Me: [shook] "no, as far as I know"
Elder: "hey, I'm sorry" blah blah
Me: "nah that's ok"
Elder: "wow, look he's SO NICE"
Now, I'm not sure there was malicious intent, I certainly didn't think so in the moment, but looking back, this resembles AMOG tactics a bit too closely for comfort. At this point I was really treading mental water and had no idea what to do, not wanting to antagonize anyone but not wanting to be gay either, a real pickle. Analyzing now, I've identified two options to deal with such ambiguous AMOGs:
Mercifully, HBTiktok comes to my rescue, diverting his attention and I easily slip back into 1-on-1 rapport with HBSinger. Soon after I'm led (again!) back into the bar where I make a joke about HBTiktok's 50-year-old "boyfriend" and find out she does in fact have a boyfriend (not him of course). I quickly judge it better to continue on HBSinger rather than trying to finagle HBTiktok, especially in front of her friend.
We end up sitting at the bar, sharing drinks. Now kino is ramping up as we begin to clasp hands and get progressively closer to kissing. Curiously, and somewhat dismayingly, I struggle to get aroused; it feels like I'm just going through the motions. I had been drinking a fair amount though I was completely lucid and not even tipsy (tolerance probably). Surprise surprise, we wind up kissing with her playfully pulling away and me playing along. There is no motion in the dong. The bar workers harangue us good-naturedly. Mr. Natural ominously materializes close by telling me to "fuck her, she's hot" while simultaneously trying to catch her eye. HBTiktok is attempting to convince some cops who showed up to give her a ride home, presumably to leave us together.
We finish the beer I had been purposefully dragging out and convene the groups for the logistics council. In the manner of bar conversations little is accomplished but I see HBSinger beginning to gravitate towards Mr. Natural. I'm slightly nonplussed, but tentatively credit it to the old bugaboo of bar-makeout overvalidation (we had done quite a bit). Though not ready to give up myself, I chalk it up to the game and watch him (this was the first time I'd gone out with him).
I see nothing. I just can't figure out what he's doing. All I see is HBSinger all but ignoring me while he passively appropriates my BT. I fight to keep my emotions in check and observe while planning counter-strategies. I try removing validation by ignoring her, but this obviously has little effect as she was ignoring me first, having sourced enough validation already. I try a half-baked jealousy plotline with HBTiktok but am internally stifled by mental resistance to her boyfriend and other unproductive self-created frames.
Mr. Natural meanwhile has got her enthralled. Putting forth my guesses on his technique, he's a decently ruggedly attractive guy, definitely does not give a single fuck about her or any girl, and has his arousal mechanism firmly intact from being sexual around girls from a very young age (he's 22 and his son's 5). He probably doesn't need any tactics beyond simple state-transference which can effectively communicate his massive experience. He's a coarse motherfucker though, never missing a chance to grab her ass when it comes within grabbing range, and constantly spouting crazy, most always offensive gibberish.
We make it outside where HBTiktok wastes no time in whipping out the Tiktok (hence her endearing name) and creating some inane content for all of her 532 followers while I give my final attempt at snatching back HBSinger by literally picking her up and walking around the corner. We come back right after (she was heavier than she looked), but looking back now I definitely should have isolated as my move in our little tug-of-war. In the moment I thought it would make me appear needy (and maybe it would have but fuck it), rather than re-framing as playfully hiding her from evil Mr. Natural because I love her (but it's a shallow, superficial love). Ah how the best ideas come too late!
As we walk HBTiktok confesses she thought I was gay too when I first approached. I joke about my hair, but inside I'm a bit disappointed, though I suppose it explains my high opening percentage. This reaffirms my commitment to direct openers and obvious SOIs going forward since showing sexual interest is a definitely a sticking point of mine. I am a bit conflicted however since the hallmark of high-caliber game is not showing blatant interest while inducing chasing behavior. Though who would actually chase a gay guy is a bit disheartening to think about. That said, many of my smoothest interactions have proceeded very indirectly on the verbal level while being sexually charged under the surface, which of course is always plausibly deniable. I'll have to think more on this, but at least for now I should definitely learn to directly "take my dick out" in the interaction as it were, given I have resistance to it.
HBTiktok IG-closes me, calling me her gay bestfriend, which label I don't take seriously but still playfully resist. Missed opportunity to escalate on her by asking if a gay guy would do this, or that. Damn internal pollution over her boyfriend and repressed emotional turmoil over HBSinger.
So but anyway, the group coalesces as we score a ride from the girls and I'm once again ignored in the backseat with HBTiktok and my other friend Mr. Cuffed, a (mediocre) player in his own right back in the day when I was a hopeless, kissless high-school chode, with Mr. Natural driving with HBSinger right next to him. I notice his hand in her lap, the first overt escalation I'd observed. Careful with his validation, I see.
We make it back to Mr. Cuffed's house and invite them inside, much to my and HBTiktok's irritation (I had given up hope and she had work tomorrow; the clock was pushing 3). I aimlessly wander then vegetate on a sofa chair while HBSinger and Mr. Natural circle each other ever closer like turds circling the drain. They wind up locked up in the bathroom (hence the scatological analogy) while the rest of us pretend to not know what's going on. Simply surreal.
Mr. Cuffed promises to kick us out after some food and makes good on his word. Mr. Natural emerges and reports stiff LMR and no sex, which perversely makes me feel better about myself, even if I can't verify the truth of it. We shake on it regardless and make the obligatory sloppy-seconds and Eskimo jokes.
Takeaways:
- Roger Love's vocal exercises to warm up the vocal apparatus
- Todd V's classic drills (yes and, I love/I hate, question/answer/tease, game the wall) to flex the intuitive muscles
- Listen to and imitate some funny and motivational game content, most likely from Jeffy
Biggest regret of the night: a blonde 2-set that both made EC multiple times and I still convinced myself approaching would be weak or tryhard which, in the manner of the best self-fulfilling prophecies, became true as soon as I didn't act immediately. I even had an able and willing wing on standby, Mr. Natural. I've classified this as an entitlement issue resulting in paralysis. Some ideas:
- Todd V's spontaneous opener drills to never be caught off guard and shunted into paralysis
- Jeffy's escalation mantra: "I don't care, and it doesn't matter; GO" to silence the mind and kill AA
Next followed a brief bout of pure self-amusement where I passed some comically short girls shuffling towards the bathroom and made an "aww, so cute" facial expression while indicating their diminutive stature with my hand. Their reaction was a hilarious combination of indignation and agreement. I decided not to open further as I'd have my work cut out for me to dig myself out of that particular hole.
Soon after, I opened a 2-set with HB8 Tiktok and HB7 Singer. I forgot the opener (maybe something like asking if they went to my high school, lame as that is), but it "worked" and goes to show the relative unimportance of the opener if backed by the correct vibe, which I had coming off the previous interactions. The million-dollar mouthpiece was now in full, unfettered operation and I playfully busted on them both while establishing physical rapport naturally and smoothly.
It was easy to keep them both engaged, seems I have a knack for playing people off one another (and it's fun for me). Game for me is also a process of self-discovery where I find out about aspects of my personality I didn't even know existed. Regardless, here was my first error: my intentions were vague at best. The Man2Woman frame was never explicitly established which, at my level of game, is a problem as I found out later. Some ideas:
- Direct openers only, at least until I get used to unambiguously expressing the masculine polarity
- Make it a point to drop canned Statements of Intent until they start to come naturally
We played the age-guessing game, with me basically nailing it and her wildly off in the older direction, as usual. She let drop she was a singer, or trained to be at least, and I clumsily attempted perhaps my first ever consciously planned qualification, telling her that was genuinely cool and impressive and that I loved singing and wanted to get better at it (all true). Around this time the IOIs starting coming hard and fast. Not certain they were directly caused by the qualification, rather the whole experience up to then. I felt the Man2Woman dynamic was now implicitly established.
Then, the first AMOG crisis of the night. An elder to my other side piped up about music and singers and whatnot, proceeding to talk across me with HBSinger and effectively cutting me out, even as I sat right in between them. I was uncertain how to handle this. I didn't want to appear a dick by overtly tooling him in some unspecified way just for his innocent-seeming conversation on music. On the other hand, I had nothing to contribute to the conversation of my own and wasn't totally pleased with his interruption. As a result, I stayed mostly silent, but still touching legs with HBSinger under the table, until:
Elder: blah blah Beyonce blah blah, [something about me being gay]
Me: [taken aback] "wha-"
HBSinger: "why would you think he's gay?"
Elder: "he's just so NICE"
HBSinger: "ARE you gay?"
Me: [shook] "no, as far as I know"
Elder: "hey, I'm sorry" blah blah
Me: "nah that's ok"
Elder: "wow, look he's SO NICE"
Now, I'm not sure there was malicious intent, I certainly didn't think so in the moment, but looking back, this resembles AMOG tactics a bit too closely for comfort. At this point I was really treading mental water and had no idea what to do, not wanting to antagonize anyone but not wanting to be gay either, a real pickle. Analyzing now, I've identified two options to deal with such ambiguous AMOGs:
- Assume the couple frame. Present an implied united front to his onslaught by automatically taking the girl's side in everything, speaking for her, and generally "acting as if" we were already together until he loses steam. Easier said than done and will have to test.
- Cutting his threads with assorted nonsense and utter stupidity (credit Jeffy) until he loses motivation to wade through my BS. I successfully used this tactic months ago to prevent an interloper from entering the set, but my self-amused state was sky-high, which is probably a prerequisite for this tactic.
Mercifully, HBTiktok comes to my rescue, diverting his attention and I easily slip back into 1-on-1 rapport with HBSinger. Soon after I'm led (again!) back into the bar where I make a joke about HBTiktok's 50-year-old "boyfriend" and find out she does in fact have a boyfriend (not him of course). I quickly judge it better to continue on HBSinger rather than trying to finagle HBTiktok, especially in front of her friend.
We end up sitting at the bar, sharing drinks. Now kino is ramping up as we begin to clasp hands and get progressively closer to kissing. Curiously, and somewhat dismayingly, I struggle to get aroused; it feels like I'm just going through the motions. I had been drinking a fair amount though I was completely lucid and not even tipsy (tolerance probably). Surprise surprise, we wind up kissing with her playfully pulling away and me playing along. There is no motion in the dong. The bar workers harangue us good-naturedly. Mr. Natural ominously materializes close by telling me to "fuck her, she's hot" while simultaneously trying to catch her eye. HBTiktok is attempting to convince some cops who showed up to give her a ride home, presumably to leave us together.
We finish the beer I had been purposefully dragging out and convene the groups for the logistics council. In the manner of bar conversations little is accomplished but I see HBSinger beginning to gravitate towards Mr. Natural. I'm slightly nonplussed, but tentatively credit it to the old bugaboo of bar-makeout overvalidation (we had done quite a bit). Though not ready to give up myself, I chalk it up to the game and watch him (this was the first time I'd gone out with him).
I see nothing. I just can't figure out what he's doing. All I see is HBSinger all but ignoring me while he passively appropriates my BT. I fight to keep my emotions in check and observe while planning counter-strategies. I try removing validation by ignoring her, but this obviously has little effect as she was ignoring me first, having sourced enough validation already. I try a half-baked jealousy plotline with HBTiktok but am internally stifled by mental resistance to her boyfriend and other unproductive self-created frames.
Mr. Natural meanwhile has got her enthralled. Putting forth my guesses on his technique, he's a decently ruggedly attractive guy, definitely does not give a single fuck about her or any girl, and has his arousal mechanism firmly intact from being sexual around girls from a very young age (he's 22 and his son's 5). He probably doesn't need any tactics beyond simple state-transference which can effectively communicate his massive experience. He's a coarse motherfucker though, never missing a chance to grab her ass when it comes within grabbing range, and constantly spouting crazy, most always offensive gibberish.
We make it outside where HBTiktok wastes no time in whipping out the Tiktok (hence her endearing name) and creating some inane content for all of her 532 followers while I give my final attempt at snatching back HBSinger by literally picking her up and walking around the corner. We come back right after (she was heavier than she looked), but looking back now I definitely should have isolated as my move in our little tug-of-war. In the moment I thought it would make me appear needy (and maybe it would have but fuck it), rather than re-framing as playfully hiding her from evil Mr. Natural because I love her (but it's a shallow, superficial love). Ah how the best ideas come too late!
As we walk HBTiktok confesses she thought I was gay too when I first approached. I joke about my hair, but inside I'm a bit disappointed, though I suppose it explains my high opening percentage. This reaffirms my commitment to direct openers and obvious SOIs going forward since showing sexual interest is a definitely a sticking point of mine. I am a bit conflicted however since the hallmark of high-caliber game is not showing blatant interest while inducing chasing behavior. Though who would actually chase a gay guy is a bit disheartening to think about. That said, many of my smoothest interactions have proceeded very indirectly on the verbal level while being sexually charged under the surface, which of course is always plausibly deniable. I'll have to think more on this, but at least for now I should definitely learn to directly "take my dick out" in the interaction as it were, given I have resistance to it.
HBTiktok IG-closes me, calling me her gay bestfriend, which label I don't take seriously but still playfully resist. Missed opportunity to escalate on her by asking if a gay guy would do this, or that. Damn internal pollution over her boyfriend and repressed emotional turmoil over HBSinger.
So but anyway, the group coalesces as we score a ride from the girls and I'm once again ignored in the backseat with HBTiktok and my other friend Mr. Cuffed, a (mediocre) player in his own right back in the day when I was a hopeless, kissless high-school chode, with Mr. Natural driving with HBSinger right next to him. I notice his hand in her lap, the first overt escalation I'd observed. Careful with his validation, I see.
We make it back to Mr. Cuffed's house and invite them inside, much to my and HBTiktok's irritation (I had given up hope and she had work tomorrow; the clock was pushing 3). I aimlessly wander then vegetate on a sofa chair while HBSinger and Mr. Natural circle each other ever closer like turds circling the drain. They wind up locked up in the bathroom (hence the scatological analogy) while the rest of us pretend to not know what's going on. Simply surreal.
Mr. Cuffed promises to kick us out after some food and makes good on his word. Mr. Natural emerges and reports stiff LMR and no sex, which perversely makes me feel better about myself, even if I can't verify the truth of it. We shake on it regardless and make the obligatory sloppy-seconds and Eskimo jokes.
Takeaways:
- Pre-Game vocal and intuitive exercises for facilitating a smooth transition into momentum
- Beast Mode part 1: approach instantly without thought or hesitation (practice spontaneous opens and escalation mantra)
- Beast Mode part 2: play to win by directly showing intent even if results in more rejections, prevent gay impressions
- Lead, lead, lead: always be going somewhere and moving the interaction towards some resolution, not hanging around reacting
- Preemptively disable AMOGs: I'm not out to have conversations with dudes; always assume the worst
- Cut off the makeout and don't indulge further than a kiss or two AT MAX
- Try to get present to the moment as much as possible while escalating to allow arousal and its transference
- Heavier qualification to prevent trivial BT transfer to douchebag naturals I can't or won't AMOG
- Get number anyway, for practice: this all or nothing mentality is a bit dire even with my abysmal text game
- Never miss isolation or escalation windows: needy or not, boyfriend or not; the less fucks given the better
