SHE is moving fast

[Estate]

Hey guys,
So I'm in a situation where the script has flipped a little.

Met a girl, went out a few times (3 times now) and I followed all the usual advice and acted quickly...result, she's obviously really into me.

But right now SHE is moving fast. She's beginning to come off like a very relationship orientated girl. But it's too fast for me.
She already brought up that she isn't dating anyone else and doesn't want to. I pushed back saying I was having a good time with her but it's too fast to go down that route. She said she's fine with that.

We met again this weekend but it's a little too "relationshipy" already. I asked her to come meet me for some plans I had for St. Paddy's day (I'm from Ireland, thought it would be fun to give her the "Irish" experience of the day) but she's constantly grabbing at me, has to hold my hand at all times, went ended back in my place and she left a few little things in the bathroom this morning.
The night turned out to be pretty low key, I kept pushing for following my plans and staying out for the night but she was pushing back a lot wanting to keep it low key and home early.
I've tried making it clear also I'm just not into the whole relationship scenario of not going out to the party that all of my friends have fallen into but feel she agreed but sort of pushed back a lot.

Anyway, the scenario now is I'm not sure about this girl. She's awesome but she's pushing too hard for a serious relationship. She's not saying it but she's obviously framing it that way and it's way too soon for me.
I've tried to be clear but I think her idea is to just agree with me in words but try to push it through actions. She's an awesome girl but I can't deal with another relationship where the girl wants to stop going out and start doing the "nice": read, boring; relationship stuff. I've done it before and I know it frustrates me to hell.

So I'm not sure where to go with this. I'd give her more time if she wasn't pushing so hard to see where it goes but I feel like I need to cut it off now before it goes too far.
My only concern is how to approach it. Obviously afraid she won't handle this well.... after 3-4 dater it shouldn't be a huge deal but since she's pushed it hard so fast, I think she's taking it far more seriously that I'm comfortable with and am afraid she'll flip if I cut it off.

... advice? :/

 

[Chase]

Estate-

So I'm not sure where to go with this. I'd give her more time if she wasn't pushing so hard to see where it goes but I feel like I need to cut it off now before it goes too far.
My only concern is how to approach it. Obviously afraid she won't handle this well.... after 3-4 dater it shouldn't be a huge deal but since she's pushed it hard so fast, I think she's taking it far more seriously that I'm comfortable with and am afraid she'll flip if I cut it off.

... advice? :/

You're right that you probably want to nip this one in the bud... it's only going to get worse the longer it goes on.

You need to have her come over and sit down with her and really just lay it all out on the table for her with, "Look, we're looking for totally different things. I can't do a relationship right now - I just can't. I just came out of a relationship where the girl roped me down into a boring, nice, stable arrangement and I thought I was going to kill myself. I like you a lot, and I think you're totally completely awesome, but you're just pushing way too hard and moving way too fast on the relationship front for me. Maybe it isn't even conscious on your part; I don't know. Maybe that's just how you run your relationships. But for me, it's too much. I feel like I'm in danger of being smothered, and I'm afraid that the longer we let this go on with you thinking it's going to get serious and me certain it isn't the more hurt you're going to be. I really don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to end up feeling trapped, either - trust me, you don't want a guy who feels like he's trapped with you, it won't end well."

You don't have to memorize that whole thing, just make sure you hit the points of "she's going to get hurt" and "you're going to feel trapped." That way, you're thoughtful enough to be looking out for her - but she also knows she's walking into a minefield if she persists with you.

Chase