She sucks my dick, then refuses to see me again…

[Police dog]

Hey guys. Interested in your opinion. So, I met this young girl, everything was good on the first date, didn’t do much texting, the following week she asked me if I want to meet. I said yes. I thought it is a sealed deal, so on the second one I became much more aggressive in physical stuff, we were not at home but the place was pretty empty anyway plus I like some sort of public risk. I kissed her neck few times, she kissed mine, then I started squeezing her butt and tits and put her hand on my jeans. She seemed pretty comfortable. So I told her to unzip it. She gave me a quick handjob and I pushed her head down there. After less than a minute a couple of people showed up, so we wrapped up and laughed together at that and spent the rest of the time just talking and eating. I didn’t do pull because she had a job shift right after that. Anyway, we agreed to “cook some food” at my place the following weekend. Well, she been texting me for a few days after that, sending photos, etc. Then out of nowhere she started ghosting me and right on the following weekend when I texted her she told me that we shouldn’t see each other again. I have 2 hypothesis why it happened:
1. I was too aggressive and it scared her. She is very inexperienced in dating in general. It was probably the first time she sucked a dick in her life. Very shy young Asian immigrant girl. Plus I am like twice her size and weight, over a foot taller and my arms are bigger than her legs, so maybe she was just really scared with me doing all of these, idk.
2. I am very inexperienced with inexperienced girls, I just don’t know what to do with them and afraid to scare them, last time I been with an inexperienced girl was when I was in high school with my first ever girlfriend. So to make it easier and more comfortable for her I tried to be a little (actually much more than “a little”) romantic, plus I actually really liked her. So maybe from her perspective it looked kinda desperate like “why are you telling me these things on the 2nd date when we barely know each other?”.
What do you guys think?

 

[Chase]

@Police dog,

My general advice to guys is if you're going to start the escalation, you need to go all the way. If your dick goes in her mouth, it needs to also make it into her pussy the same session. Otherwise you risk a lot of trouble after.

The way girls calculate things is any guy whose penis doesn't go in her vagina does not 'count' against her body count. But once you've started escalating on her, be that making out, popping her tits out, having her suck your cock, etc., she KNOWS where this is going if she lets it continue.

Once she is away from you and no longer right in front of you, she shifts back into logical mode, at which point she thinks, "Okay, I know where this is going: we're going to have sex. Do I want to have sex with him?" If she isn't totally 100% sold you are going to get cold feet.

Another risk with inexperienced girls is they can have a lot of shame tied to sexual experiences when they reflect on them after, especially if the guy didn't really make them feel cared for and attended to after the experience. That's another reason why it's better to get to sex and not just a BJ... then it's a mutual thing at least, and not just her pleasuring you.

You don't have to actually totally bang her out. If you can just get her to the side and get her skirt lifted up or her pants pulled down a bit and just get your penis in her even a little bit, now you've entered her, and the "well I don't want to increase my body count" objection goes out the window and you don't have to worry about it. Or if you couldn't do that where you were, pull her to your car, or a bathroom, or some other hidden corner somewhere and get her pants down and get in her real quick. Then just make sure you show her enough care and affection after that she doesn't feel slutty about it.

Anyway, if I was you, I'd follow up with her one more time, for two reasons:

1. Maybe you can get her out, plus
   
   
2. Hey, even if you can't, you can remove her concerns about feeling like a slut, which is just a nice thing to do for her.

I'd call her and leave a voicemail (or talk to her if she answers) or, if you don't like calling, send her an audio or video message, to this effect:

Hey Ming Li, I just wanted to follow up and say hey, I think maybe we took it a little too fast on the second date for you and I made you feel bad or made you feel slutty or something and I feel really bad that that happened. I totally didn't want you feeling that way at all. I really like you and respect you a ton. Anyway, I was pretty disappointed that you didn't want to see me again, but I totally understand. I just don't want you feeling bad or feeling too easy or anything. I like you a lot and was really excited to be hanging out with you and moving things forward with you. All right. I guess I'll see you.​

Message end.

See what happens.

Chase

 

[Police dog]

@Police dog,

My general advice to guys is if you're going to start the escalation, you need to go all the way. If your dick goes in her mouth, it needs to also make it into her pussy the same session. Otherwise you risk a lot of trouble after.

The way girls calculate things is any guy whose penis doesn't go in her vagina does not 'count' against her body count. But once you've started escalating on her, be that making out, popping her tits out, having her suck your cock, etc., she KNOWS where this is going if she lets it continue.

Once she is away from you and no longer right in front of you, she shifts back into logical mode, at which point she thinks, "Okay, I know where this is going: we're going to have sex. Do I want to have sex with him?" If she isn't totally 100% sold you are going to get cold feet.

Another risk with inexperienced girls is they can have a lot of shame tied to sexual experiences when they reflect on them after, especially if the guy didn't really make them feel cared for and attended to after the experience. That's another reason why it's better to get to sex and not just a BJ... then it's a mutual thing at least, and not just her pleasuring you.

You don't have to actually totally bang her out. If you can just get her to the side and get her skirt lifted up or her pants pulled down a bit and just get your penis in her even a little bit, now you've entered her, and the "well I don't want to increase my body count" objection goes out the window and you don't have to worry about it. Or if you couldn't do that where you were, pull her to your car, or a bathroom, or some other hidden corner somewhere and get her pants down and get in her real quick. Then just make sure you show her enough care and affection after that she doesn't feel slutty about it.

Anyway, if I was you, I'd follow up with her one more time, for two reasons:

1. Maybe you can get her out, plus
   
   
2. Hey, even if you can't, you can remove her concerns about feeling like a slut, which is just a nice thing to do for her.

I'd call her and leave a voicemail (or talk to her if she answers) or, if you don't like calling, send her an audio or video message, to this effect:

Hey Ming Li, I just wanted to follow up and say hey, I think maybe we took it a little too fast on the second date for you and I made you feel bad or made you feel slutty or something and I feel really bad that that happened. I totally didn't want you feeling that way at all. I really like you and respect you a ton. Anyway, I was pretty disappointed that you didn't want to see me again, but I totally understand. I just don't want you feeling bad or feeling too easy or anything. I like you a lot and was really excited to be hanging out with you and moving things forward with you. All right. I guess I'll see you.​

Message end.

See what happens.

Chase

Thank you!!!

 

[Skills]

Hey guys. Interested in your opinion. So, I met this young girl, everything was good on the first date, didn’t do much texting, the following week she asked me if I want to meet. I said yes. I thought it is a sealed deal, so on the second one I became much more aggressive in physical stuff, we were not at home but the place was pretty empty anyway plus I like some sort of public risk. I kissed her neck few times, she kissed mine, then I started squeezing her butt and tits and put her hand on my jeans. She seemed pretty comfortable. So I told her to unzip it. She gave me a quick handjob and I pushed her head down there. After less than a minute a couple of people showed up, so we wrapped up and laughed together at that and spent the rest of the time just talking and eating. I didn’t do pull because she had a job shift right after that. Anyway, we agreed to “cook some food” at my place the following weekend. Well, she been texting me for a few days after that, sending photos, etc. Then out of nowhere she started ghosting me and right on the following weekend when I texted her she told me that we shouldn’t see each other again. I have 2 hypothesis why it happened:
1. I was too aggressive and it scared her. She is very inexperienced in dating in general. It was probably the first time she sucked a dick in her life. Very shy young Asian immigrant girl. Plus I am like twice her size and weight, over a foot taller and my arms are bigger than her legs, so maybe she was just really scared with me doing all of these, idk.
2. I am very inexperienced with inexperienced girls, I just don’t know what to do with them and afraid to scare them, last time I been with an inexperienced girl was when I was in high school with my first ever girlfriend. So to make it easier and more comfortable for her I tried to be a little (actually much more than “a little”) romantic, plus I actually really liked her. So maybe from her perspective it looked kinda desperate like “why are you telling me these things on the 2nd date when we barely know each other?”.
What do you guys think?

I personally don't go for high escalation moves if i know the lay is not there, such as handjobs, bjs or fingering.... I rather due what i call containment, yes physically escalate, make out, but no farther unless your goal is a bj..... the reason is now the asd towards the next encounter is going to be on high, and she will feel to much pressure "he got a bj, he will expect sex" causes anxiety which will cause ghosting and flakiness.... Listen to this field report similar .scenario.