Calls & Texts She won't respond now. Where'd i mess up?

[Dylweed]

A cute girl got hired where i work a couple weeks ago. She seems really interested in me. She's always putting in effort saying hi to me and starting conversations.

Anyways, today on her way out of work we had a short conversation about how each of our new years eve went. Then i said, "we should grab some food sometime soon, would you be down for that?" she said yes. Then i asked her for her number. She instead took my number since i was working (not supposed to use phones at work).

This is how our text conversation went

Her: Hey, its ___..
Me: Hey ___! It was nice seeing you today =)
Her: Agreed! Are you done with work or on break?
Me: Break time, sadly lol. It's so dead here
Her: Haha, I bet! The Packer game is on...winning 17-3!
Me: Hell yeah! Go Pack! Well I gotta go now. Thanks for the update
Her: Hey, done with work yet?
Me: Just got done now
Her: Oh yeah, it closes at 10 on weekends...
Me: Yeah unfortunately lol
Her: Haha yeah.. what are you doing tonight?
Me: I just finished eating a delicious meal lol how about you?
Her: Watching a movie with my mom lol. I was gonna go snowmobiling but my dad decided he didn't want to go.. :/
Her: So, you should tell me a little bit more about you..
Me: Snowmobiling is so fun! But hey, how about we grab that bite we talked about this week? Let me know what your schedule's looking like and lets get the gears in motion.
Her: Well, I don't work until Friday..
Me: Okay great! Me me at Panera at 2pm on tuesday? sound good?

And then she never responded back. Looking back over the conversation i can definitely see mistakes on my part, i wasn't keeping my eye on the ball the whole time. I wasn't sure how to though with her always continuing the conversation like she was.

Anybody got any tips for what i should have done differently?

By the way, i never began real deep diving while at work, maybe thats why she's not responding now? Is she too nervous to meet me? Sometimes i feel she is very nervous around me

Thanks

 

[PinotNoir]

Her: Haha yeah.. what are you doing tonight?
Me: I just finished eating a delicious meal lol how about you?
Her: Watching a movie with my mom lol. I was gonna go snowmobiling but my dad decided he didn't want to go.. :/
Her: So, you should tell me a little bit more about you..
Me: Snowmobiling is so fun! But hey, how about we grab that bite we talked about this week? Let me know what your schedule's looking like and lets get the gears in motion.
Her: Well, I don't work until Friday..
Me: Okay great! Me me at Panera at 2pm on tuesday? sound good?

To me, this sounded like she wanted to meet that night or tomorrow (don't know when Tuesday is in relation). However, I think you did a good job.

She also might have not liked you avoiding "So, you should tell me a little bit more about you..." so directly (making her think that you weren't listening or paying attention to her). You did well by not answering it, but instead, you could have said:
"Well, who can describe one's entire self via text? I think we need to meetup in person for this."...and then..."You available Tuesday afternoon?" Or something like that.

I'm not sure why she didn't respond. Perhaps it was a little slow and the fire died? Or perhaps you didn't explain your intentions enough that you think she's cute, and you want to go on a date?

And how long has it been? I bet she'll text you something in a few days.

 

[Dylweed]

Thank you for the reply. I wish that i would have said that instead now. But o well, it's a learning experience. Also i never did let her know i thought she was cute. That might also be it because my intentions might not be clear.

It has now been almost 24 hrs since my last text to her. Anybody know what i should do next, if there is anything at all to do? Maybe its done, and if so, thats fine. On to the next one lol

 

[The Tool]

This ones iffy but essentially,

Her: Hey, its ___..
Me: Hey ___! It was nice seeing you today =)
Her: Agreed! Are you done with work or on break?
Me: Break time, sadly lol. It's so dead here
Her: Haha, I bet! The Packer game is on...winning 17-3!
Me: Hell yeah! Go Pack! Well I gotta go now. Thanks for the update
Her: Hey, done with work yet?
Me: Just got done now
Her: Oh yeah, it closes at 10 on weekends...
Me: Yeah unfortunately lol
Her: Haha yeah.. what are you doing tonight?
Me: I just finished eating a delicious meal lol how about you?
Her: Watching a movie with my mom lol. I was gonna go snowmobiling but my dad decided he didn't want to go.. :/
Her: So, you should tell me a little bit more about you..

After the so tell me a little about you, you did great by not answereing the question but you should have said something along the lines of "I prefer it when two people get to know eachother in person. So how about you and I grab some coffee sometime, Whats your schedule like this week?" The ball would have been rolling from there. Yea if you see her at work dont talk about the date or the texts, just act clam and collective so you dont seem desperate, then gage her reaction as to if you should send her another text or not I.E she is warm and happy to see you, or dissmissive and ignoring you.

 

[Dylweed]

Cool thanks guys for the advice. Appreciate it. This is a great website lol

 

[Dylweed]

Re: She won't respond now. Where'd i mess up? UPDATE 1/13

She finally responded. It was last Saturday when she stopped responding to me, then 4 days later on thursday she sent me this

Her: "Hey, sorry i never texted you back. I couldn't find my phone for awhile haha"

I totally don't believe that btw lol. Anyways she sent me this right when i was supposed to be on a date with a different girl who bailed because she got sick

Me: Haha thats cool. Are you doing anything right now? If youre free, do you wanna go grab some coffee or a bite?
Her: I'm doing chores haha. Do you work tomorrow?
Me: Okay thats cool. Yeah I work tomorrow, you do too right?
Her: Yup, From 4-8:30.
Me: Okay cool, see you then

Then i saw her at work the next 2 days and she was still very warm to me. I haven't texted her again since then. What should my next move be? I was thinking tomorrow (sunday) night Ill send her a text something like, "Hey ___, how was the rest of your weekend? Mine was great! Thinking we should pick a time to go grab that bite we talked about, what does your schedule look like this week?"

 

[PinotNoir]

Re: She won't respond now. Where'd i mess up? UPDATE 1/13

Me: Okay thats cool. Yeah I work tomorrow, you do too right?
Her: Yup, From 4-8:30.
Me: Okay cool, see you then

What's interesting about this is that she told you the time (4-8:30) without you directly asking. She could have just said "yup." I wouldn't read too much into this though.

Do you have similar work times? Perhaps you can chat with her during work and try to get a date when you both get off.

I think she's still interested, but to me, it sounds like she may be getting bored. I'd try to focus on good conversation during work. To keep texting like this, it's starting to put you in the role of the "chaser." I say try it a couple more times (in person or via text like you asked) and just forget it after that.

 

[Dylweed]

Re: She won't respond now. Where'd i mess up? UPDATE 1/13

Me: Okay thats cool. Yeah I work tomorrow, you do too right?
Her: Yup, From 4-8:30.
Me: Okay cool, see you then

What's interesting about this is that she told you the time (4-8:30) without you directly asking. She could have just said "yup." I wouldn't read too much into this though.

Do you have similar work times? Perhaps you can chat with her during work and try to get a date when you both get off.

I think she's still interested, but to me, it sounds like she may be getting bored. I'd try to focus on good conversation during work. To keep texting like this, it's starting to put you in the role of the "chaser." I say try it a couple more times (in person or via text like you asked) and just forget it after that.

I saw her at work 2 days in a row. She seemed excited to talk to me. Every time that she sees me she says "hey___". I started a little deep dive about her at one point about her experience with choir and where she's traveled.

So a day later, on monday i text her
Me: "Hey___! Hope the rest of your weekend was good. How was that movie?"

Was going to then ask her for her schedule to set up a date but she never responded back. I'm giving up at this point. Now i can tell i feel like auto rejecting her. She is either just a very friendly person, or she is playing with me.

So if a girl ever ignores one of your texts, do you pretty much wait for her to text back no matter how long it takes, even if it never happens?

 

[PinotNoir]

Re: She won't respond now. Where'd i mess up? UPDATE 1/13

So if a girl ever ignores one of your texts, do you pretty much wait for her to text back no matter how long it takes, even if it never happens?

Since I started reading GC, if I ask a question (not something like "how's it going?" but a real question) or initiate conversation via text, I don't do anything else. I've only been doing this for about a year now, but the results are surprising. 90% of the time I get a text back within a week (sometimes 9 days). If there's no response in 9 days, then I assume she's not interested or that I didn't build enough of a connection and/or send an interesting enough text.

This is surprising to me because if I don't respond to a text in a day I usually completely forget I got texted -- unless it was a girl that I'm interested in (but why would I wait a week to set up a date?). So I honestly have no idea why I get these results.

Now, in this case, I'd say do not text/call again. This is just my opinion though, and others may disagree.

As for constructive criticism, you maybe should have opened with something interesting that happened to you or you did, or by this time, you may even have an inside joke you could have used:

"evening Jess, just finished singing in the shower -- I'm no match for a choir girl though did the movie make you cry?"

I find this a little more interesting than "Hey___! Hope the rest of your weekend was good. How was that movie?" Posing questions in unique ways, using interesting words (don't have to use a thesaurus -- in fact, it can come off as obvious that you did sometimes), and adding the right punctuation/emoticons (which you did with the exclamation point) can add that little spice that make girls interested.

Imagine if you had been working/studying all day and you got a text like that from a girl that you were on the fence about. You're tired and emotionally drained. Would you reply?

She wouldn't necessarily reply to my version either, but your chances increase by just a fraction, and that can do it sometimes.

As for this situation, start trying to flirt/date with someone else. I think you may be getting to stuck on this girl, man. We've all been there. And dating/flirting with other women will make you feel better and be more carefree about this situation, which can only help you. Best of luck; keep us posted if anything changes.

 

[Dylweed]

Re: She won't respond now. Where'd i mess up? UPDATE 1/13

"evening Jess, just finished singing in the shower -- I'm no match for a choir girl though did the movie make you cry?"

I find this a little more interesting than "Hey___! Hope the rest of your weekend was good. How was that movie?" Posing questions in unique ways, using interesting words (don't have to use a thesaurus -- in fact, it can come off as obvious that you did sometimes), and adding the right punctuation/emoticons (which you did with the exclamation point) can add that little spice that make girls interested.

Imagine if you had been working/studying all day and you got a text like that from a girl that you were on the fence about. You're tired and emotionally drained. Would you reply?

She wouldn't necessarily reply to my version either, but your chances increase by just a fraction, and that can do it sometimes.

As for this situation, start trying to flirt/date with someone else. I think you may be getting to stuck on this girl, man. We've all been there. And dating/flirting with other women will make you feel better and be more carefree about this situation, which can only help you. Best of luck; keep us posted if anything changes.

Thanks man. She definitely might have replied had i sent something more like that. Btw, whats really creepy about this is that i never said what her name is and then you guessed it.

Also, not much of an update, but at work she was still warm to me. I never made eye contact with her till she said hi to me. Then she added me on facebook. I accepted it. Maybe its her way of trying to friend zone me? And i agree with moving on to different girls

 

[PinotNoir]

Re: She won't respond now. Where'd i mess up? UPDATE 1/13

Btw, whats really creepy about this is that i never said what her name is and then you guessed it.

Haha, crazy. I swear I had no idea, just lucky guess.

Also, not much of an update, but at work she was still warm to me. I never made eye contact with her till she said hi to me. Then she added me on facebook. I accepted it. Maybe its her way of trying to friend zone me? And i agree with moving on to different girls

Yeah, FaceBook feels like the new friendzone (I think there was a recent post on the boards about this?), but if it's the only way you can contact a girl, then I'm okay with it.

Off-Topic: Others may not feel the same way, but I've recently experimented with not adding a girl on FaceBook, just phone numbers only. Okay, I'll admit it; in the past when I really liked a girl, I'd look at her profile when I wanted to see her face. And guess what? Girls I dated admitted this to me too! Without getting FaceBook, she actually has to send you a text/call for conversation. If she wants to see your face, she has to either use her imagination or see you. Same goes with us guys. Instead of pining over FaceBook, you actually have to make moves. I think from now on I'm never going to add a girl I like on FaceBook -- unless we don't get phone numbers for whatever reason (but that is rare).

Anyway, back on topic, watch this for inspiration and go get some other ladies!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTW0GqiQew0

 

[Whizzy]

Have you had anymore luck getting her on a date? The time frame for this seems like she may be keeping you on the back burning/friend zoning you

 

[Dylweed]

Have you had anymore luck getting her on a date? The time frame for this seems like she may be keeping you on the back burning/friend zoning you

Yeah thats what im thinking too. I think she's just a tease who loves attention. I haven't tried getting her on a date since the post i made on the 13th. Should i even try again? And if i do, should I ask her in person at work or try texting her again?

 

[Whizzy]

Doing things in personal is always better than texting/cyber chatting I feel

 

[Reaper]

Try to ask her in person, when you see her at your job say hi to her, then start talking but keep it simple
(something like
her:how was your week
you:good i don't complain, yours ?)
make her be interested, let her be the one who's asking about you, or telling you about herself, then tell her that you will like to go out with her this weekend, if she says than she can't for whatever reason insist a little bit, like you would really like to go out with her, she may smile, and if she does say something like come on, lets go out .

Hope this can help you

-Alex