She's "Taken" Dilemma

[Anonymous]

Hey everyone!

So, this is my first post to the board and I'm really exciting to read some of the input you all have that I don't think I'll be able to find anywhere else. If this is posted in the wrong section, I honestly do apologize and you can move the post accordingly.

Anyways, this year, I promised myself that I would keep my options open when it came to women and relationships. I tend to easily fall for women, then put all my time and effort into it, just to be disappointed in the end (I was hung over a girl for the past two years, and it still didn't go anywhere...). That all happened before I found this website and was able to pick up some quick tips and tricks to better my skills on keeping my "options open". I was able to build up my confidence, go after certain girls I liked, and broaden my social horizon tenfold.

Going off from that, I met many women I was not only physically, but mentally attracted to as well. The only dilemma was, that right now, the girls I tend to go after are the ones that are already taken. Now, don't take this post as a cry for ways to "be a home-wrecker and ruin a relationship", because that's the last thing I plan on doing. My question is what are some ways/techniques to keep a girl interested in you even when she's in a relationship?

These women are young and their relationships are crummy. Odds are, their relationships aren't going to be lasting any longer anyways. I'm just confused on how to approach a situation like this without getting shoved off into the "friend-zone" without even getting a fighting chance. Do I keep my distance until the relationship ends? But what if she thinks I'm no longer interested, thus losing interest in me? Do I step on the guy's toes and go after her, even though she's already taken? But won't that make me something I don't wanna be?

Anything would help, whether it's advice or even personal experiences like mine, I'm all for it.

Thanks again, and you all have a great day.

MGG

 

[Louie]

This is the very same reason I discovered this site, and registered for the forum. I am in the exact same situation. Surprisingly, I'm taking a lot of heat from friends for pursuing women who are in relationships, but in my mind it only makes sense that most of the best girls ARE going to be taken.

Unfortunately, I'm learning a hard lesson of the consequences of getting involved with a girl who is taken. After a couple of months of working on a relationship with her, out of the blue her not-so-great live-in boyfriend finally proposes marriage - and she accepted. Talk about a cold slap. I'm certain my relationship with her prompted a fish-or-cut-bait argument, and it looks like he chose to fish. So now she's deeply apologetic to me and we're trying to figure out where to go from here.

I've been friend-zoned by her twice, and cut ties after the second one, only to reconcile, and for both of us to develop more serious feelings.

I'm not sure how this is going to end for me, but for your own sake, you should probably get close enough that the girls know you're interested, but keep a safe distance. Make it clear that you will always have a place in your heart for the girl, but move on before you're hooked even deeper. As far as I understand it, you have to at least give them some sample that you're a great guy. In retrospect, I shouldn't have been so aggressive that last time she took me out of the friend zone.

Live and learn.

--Louie

 

[Just_Dave]

Don't be a Knight

My friend the last thing you want to do is waste time being a white knight and standing at a door that's not going to open for awhile. Chase wrote a topic of what you're attempting to get at
https://www.girlschase.com/content/white-knight-superman-syndrome-and-damsels-distress This is a response to their relationship is "crummy"

Please refer to the correct way of going about things as written by Chase
https://www.girlschase.com/content/girl-has-boyfriend-3-things-do-and-7-things-not

Your reference guide,

Just Dave

 

[Gamecrasher]

I'm currently in the same situation man. There are in fact 2 girls that I'm really interested in, but are taken for the time being. I feel like I've hung out with them casually enough times to be stuck in the friend-zone with them. However, Chase did point out a key factor that has worked for me with these girls. Stepping away from their lives just for a little while tends to have a pull-and-desire effect for the girls. I purposely didn't respond to several texts from one of the girls, and once I saw her in about a week, she started chasing me (by giving me flirty eye contact, asking me where the hell I've been in such a cute way, etc.) even though she has a boyfriend. However, the past few days when I actually ask her to lunch, she turns me down. So what I'm trying to say is: it's best to steer clear from girls who have boyfriends or have put you in the friend-zone. It's much better to go after other girls, as you will have much better results from them. (As Chase always says, results over reactions.) Try being more unattainable or less available to girls who have friend-zoned you, too. Good luck

 

[Louie]

Being unavailable is exactly how I got out of the friend zone last time, so I definitely can vouch for that. It wasn't a strategy at the time though, it was simply a self-preserving response, since I don't think I'm capable of being this girl's friend.

The first time, it lasted 3 days before I got a package in the mail from her, returning something she had borrowed. At that time I texted her "thank you" and she was much more open about her feelings after that. This last time it went for almost 3 weeks before we had a mutual obligation to see each other. Lines of communication were re-opened by her after that, and I haven't given her a yes/no answer about whether or not we will be friends, so we will see how this pans out.

 

[Ross]

My question is what are some ways/techniques to keep a girl interested in you even when she's in a relationship?

These women are young and their relationships are crummy. Odds are, their relationships aren't going to be lasting any longer anyways. I'm just confused on how to approach a situation like this without getting shoved off into the "friend-zone" without even getting a fighting chance. Do I keep my distance until the relationship ends? But what if she thinks I'm no longer interested, thus losing interest in me? Do I step on the guy's toes and go after her, even though she's already taken? But won't that make me something I don't wanna be?

If a girl wants to sleep with you while she's in a relationship, that's on her. Her relationship was probably already fading. If she was really taken, she wouldn't be with you.

I don't have any problems sleeping with a girl that says she's in a relationship, I just have to let her know it's her choice and she can't bring me into any of her drama. But, here's some better advice; don't focus on one girl and constantly add options. Also, don't chase women. That way you aren't stepping on the guys toes, she's coming after you. Your morals are yours, so my advice might not hold true for you, but I enjoy a lot more things because I simply don't let judgments get the better of me and I don't worry that I'm going to be seen as something that is bad by society if I sleep with a woman that is "taken".

 

[Franco]

Hi mggotera,

The two articles that Just_Dave linked you along with this article here should hopefully clear things up.

Ultimately, the choice is up to you. I take the same stance as the article I just linked.

Hope this helps!

- Franco