Shitting where you eat?

[outofplace]

Hey guys,

Been tempted many times to make a move on the girls at dance class but I like the studio a lot so in a bit of a dilemma. Taking evening dance classes. Fresh faces come in all the time and I've been able to chat with them and get them on a one on one after the class. Do you consider these as cold approach or social circle? There are multiple classes a week and anyone can pick any day to come in so if things went south there is an out for continuing with classes without bumping into each other but is this flying too close to the sun?

Thanks!

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

Some days over thinking things will be more detrimental then going up and approaching.

Use discretion as needed.

 

[StrayDog]

one part cold approach, one part social circle. I wouldn't pull the trigger unless the chemistry is super flowing. You don't want to get the rep of being the guy who asks all the women out. At the same time you don't have to play it as slow as some social circle friend group. I'd say be discerning and precise with who you pick and how you approach. Know that if you are actively banging one gal who is a frequent member of the scene you are limiting your option of meeting other women there a bit. But meeting other woman isn't necessarily off the table. Discretion is key. Setting the right precedent is key. Pace yourself. If you hook up and things aren't totally jelling don't string out the connection longer than necessary. Leave it on a positive note so that there is no lingering vibes in the scene and you can still do your thing. That said it is still like cold approach in that it is a more public social scene than an exclusive one. You can meet a woman in class, hit it off and Insta date her, or grab her number right away. You don't have to play it as much of a long game as classic social circle. Some woman you might have to slowly build rapport with though, so again it's all about pacing.

That said. Dude, dance classes are prime places to pick up HBs. Don't hold back, man. Life's too short

 

[outofplace]

How would you approach it?

For me I've been experimenting with both slipping in a couple of words each time while dancing (partners are rotated very frequently) as well as waiting till after class to point out her exquisite dance moves as an indirect opener and noticing not conversing at all during class had slightly better results.

I've also not entirely sure how to frame the "insta date" if we move off after. Would this be considered a first date or grab number for a proper first date kind of thing? I had a girl that switched up her plans for the night to grab a bite with me. We had a deep conversation but I was afraid of moving things too fast so I just figured out the logistics for future dates. Found out she works just down the street from where I live and logistics would be perfect for anything longer term.

I never really considered that banging one would limit the rest of the pool. Good point.

one part cold approach, one part social circle. I wouldn't pull the trigger unless the chemistry is super flowing. You don't want to get the rep of being the guy who asks all the women out. At the same time you don't have to play it as slow as some social circle friend group. I'd say be discerning and precise with who you pick and how you approach. Know that if you are actively banging one gal who is a frequent member of the scene you are limiting your option of meeting other women there a bit. But meeting other woman isn't necessarily off the table. Discretion is key. Setting the right precedent is key. Pace yourself. If you hook up and things aren't totally jelling don't string out the connection longer than necessary. Leave it on a positive note so that there is no lingering vibes in the scene and you can still do your thing. That said it is still like cold approach in that it is a more public social scene than an exclusive one. You can meet a woman in class, hit it off and Insta date her, or grab her number right away. You don't have to play it as much of a long game as classic social circle. Some woman you might have to slowly build rapport with though, so again it's all about pacing.

That said. Dude, dance classes are prime places to pick up HBs. Don't hold back, man. Life's too short

 

[Derek da man]

I do dance classes regularly. I keep the girls that come regularly as social circle, I flirt and tease them a little but generally don't ask for date as that is where you may get a reputation and these girls talk as they all know each other. They are usually fairly good dancers as it takes time to be good, so that's how to spot them.

I make a point of asking beginners and newbies to dance in social to test the water and see how receptive they are. If they are I say "Come on 'm going to the bar to get a water" and lead them that way. It's a test to see if they are interested beyond the dance and to see if the connection is still the same as we chat more. After a short chat at the bar I usually have worked potential logistics done work that night so start leading back to the main dance area and suggest getting a drink one evening, if she's interested get her number. If she's not committing then I just say ".....you don't have to say no right now, the offer is open and if you change your mind come and let me know". I've had many of them come and ask me the following week if the offer is still open and bingo date time.

I've only managed one same night lay and that was with a girl I got chatting to very early in the evening, far too early to do the water thing or isolate, but I'd re-engage her for a couple of minutes between dances every 20 minutes or so while circulating and dancing with others. After a few hours I just said "Right, I'm done dancing, shall we go get a drink somewhere a little quieter?", she agreed and off we went. So you can do it but you need to calibrate to the room, event, timings, etc.

These classes are held in a bar and not a studio so your environment may be different but I've done studio classes too. I treat it all as "social circle" with a bit of fishing with the newbies. If it works out great, if not it's unlikely that the core social dance girls will take too much notice of 1 girls ramblings of being rejected when they've know me for a fair few years and she's just arrived in the scene. I'd just brush it off as sour grapes, but to be honest it's never happened.

 

[outofplace]

I do dance classes regularly. I keep the girls that come regularly as social circle, I flirt and tease them a little but generally don't ask for date as that is where you may get a reputation and these girls talk as they all know each other. They are usually fairly good dancers as it takes time to be good, so that's how to spot them.

I make a point of asking beginners and newbies to dance in social to test the water and see how receptive they are. If they are I say "Come on 'm going to the bar to get a water" and lead them that way. It's a test to see if they are interested beyond the dance and to see if the connection is still the same as we chat more. After a short chat at the bar I usually have worked potential logistics done work that night so start leading back to the main dance area and suggest getting a drink one evening, if she's interested get her number. If she's not committing then I just say ".....you don't have to say no right now, the offer is open and if you change your mind come and let me know". I've had many of them come and ask me the following week if the offer is still open and bingo date time.

I've only managed one same night lay and that was with a girl I got chatting to very early in the evening, far too early to do the water thing or isolate, but I'd re-engage her for a couple of minutes between dances every 20 minutes or so while circulating and dancing with others. After a few hours I just said "Right, I'm done dancing, shall we go get a drink somewhere a little quieter?", she agreed and off we went. So you can do it but you need to calibrate to the room, event, timings, etc.

These classes are held in a bar and not a studio so your environment may be different but I've done studio classes too. I treat it all as "social circle" with a bit of fishing with the newbies. If it works out great, if not it's unlikely that the core social dance girls will take too much notice of 1 girls ramblings of being rejected when they've know me for a fair few years and she's just arrived in the scene. I'd just brush it off as sour grapes, but to be honest it's never happened.

My dance studio has social nights weekly which I have not gone to yet as I feel I'm not up to the standard for those yet. I've dropped by one of them to figure out the lay of the land. There's a dance floor and people chat off the side of it as well as a bar area which seems like what you have described here. I'll start popping in for these in the coming weeks.

I guess I'm still trying to find the right balance of subtlety and escalation. What do you do with the numbers you've taken? Do you play it slow and wait for them to reply on your offer or do you drop an action text a couple days after grabbing the contacts? For your first interaction, do you start off sexual or keep it friendly until the "real" date?

 

[StrayDog]

How would you approach it?

For me I've been experimenting with both slipping in a couple of words each time while dancing (partners are rotated very frequently) as well as waiting till after class to point out her exquisite dance moves as an indirect opener and noticing not conversing at all during class had slightly better results.

I've also not entirely sure how to frame the "insta date" if we move off after. Would this be considered a first date or grab number for a proper first date kind of thing? I had a girl that switched up her plans for the night to grab a bite with me. We had a deep conversation but I was afraid of moving things too fast so I just figured out the logistics for future dates. Found out she works just down the street from where I live and logistics would be perfect for anything longer term.

I never really considered that banging one would limit the rest of the pool. Good point.

Honestly, dude, this isn't exactly my area of expertise. While I have picked up women from yoga classes/ art classes, etc, here and there most of the women I have met have been through day game/ night game. Social circle or a sort of hybrid social circle/ pickup (like dance classes and such) has never really been my focus. So yeah there are probably guys on here that have way more detailed tech for these scenarios like @Derek da man here with his solid advice.

That said, every time I have had success with these scenarios I haven't exactly been a regular in these classes. I was kind of bouncing around from studio to studio making semi-regular appearances. So any appearance I made was kind of sporadic. Whenever I was in classes I had a 'mysterious' vibe to me. Before or after classes I would position myself in a space where it was easy to strike up conversations in a low-effort way finding a good spot to post up and allow the flow of the room just naturally offer opportunities. Occasional making more energetic remarks in passing, like when we crossed paths while setting up for class. But never being too much of a social butterfly. Sometimes being rather short on words but still making my presence felt. A good deal of sniper gaming with eye contact and the likes. When it was study time I would dive in and focus. Because I wasn't a regular but was around enough to make a positive and intriguing presence It was easy to avoid some of the social circle trappings that probably occur with people who are totally regulars. I was around enough to have some good social proof, but not so much that I had to play exactly by the rules. Many women at places like these are actually very intrigued by that 'new' guy. Or 'that guy that drops in from time to time." I was just social enough, but also clearly there to take the class seriously. Women would often approach me, give approach invitations, and whatnot. Every now and then I would hit it off with a gal and grab her number. I couple of times we just kind of had momentum and kept spending time after class. Whenever I did hook up with a gal it wasn't so much a worry for me about how that would affect classes cause it was only semi-regular for me and it wasn't like we were really running into each other a lot. But it did sort of limit my playing field at that venue a little when she and I were actively hooking up. It's been a while since I have even been in these sorts of scenarios So all I can really offer you is broad strokes.

-Consider bouncing around between different classes/schools, so you are maybe a bit more scarce in each scene

-If there is a class you just 'have' to attend regularly because you like it so much, treat it more social scene. But be aware that you can also meet women new to class, and that it is a sort of 'public' social scene. so, there will be a lot of flux as to whos on the scene at a given moment and how well they all know each other. In that sense, it is kind of a social scene/pick-up hybrid. Treat it a little more like a social scene, but be prepared for spontaneous opportunity.

-Consider your presence in the scene and what sort of 'archetype' you are projecting. I knew a guy who was a killer dancer, and an absolute charmer. He would have women lining up to dance with him because he was just so vibrant. He just made them feel so good when they danced. He was full of life and passion. He knew how to make the women comfortable, but would also flirt and flatter in a way that was always welcomed. I remember one time he told me "I just love dancing with them man, I want to dance with them all. They are always so disappointed when the song is over and I move on to the next one." He was a wild card for them. None of the women would know if he was really flirting or if he was just enjoying the thrill of the dance. I on the other hand was playing the 'mysterious outsider' archetype at yoga and art classes.

That's about all the detail I think I really have to offer on this matter. This is definitely making me want to start going to classes again though, now that I have leveled up a bit as a seducer since I was last attending things like this.

 

[Fuck This]

I'd orchestrate a group gathering (multiple people) at a local watering hole afterwards. Somewhere you can deep dive women, and not have the association be with the dance class. Interested women will come to the social event after. It is there that you get their number, and pitch dates one on one. OYu could almost invite her to your house, since you gotto know each other already. Feel it out though.

You make a "Come one Come all" announcement that you are going to the "Flying Goose" after class. Get a couple of trendsetters on board beforehand to sell that it is a fun group activity. Hearing "Yeah I'll be there" and "Me Too!" can sway someone who is on the fence.

I'd avoid actively escalating around class members in class or at the bar unless there is a legit orgy vibe going on.

 

[HammerEditor]

@StrayDog That's a very interesting method of social circle game, where you can take advantage of the low entry barrier of social circle yet with the broad reach of cold approach; while not having obligations to go to every session of a class.

 

[StrayDog]

@StrayDog That's a very interesting method of social circle game, where you can take advantage of the low entry barrier of social circle yet with the broad reach of cold approach; while not having obligations to go to every session of a class.

Good way of putting it. I can't say I have tested this to its furthest reaches though. Like, I am not sure what would happen if I really saturated myself with the scene over time to the point that it becomes a way more social circle game, regardless of a sporadic presence. I imagine that discretion and clear discretion frames are the saving grace here. But that is merely speculation.

 

[outofplace]

I'd orchestrate a group gathering (multiple people) at a local watering hole afterwards. Somewhere you can deep dive women, and not have the association be with the dance class. Interested women will come to the social event after. It is there that you get their number, and pitch dates one on one. OYu could almost invite her to your house, since you gotto know each other already. Feel it out though.

You make a "Come one Come all" announcement that you are going to the "Flying Goose" after class. Get a couple of trendsetters on board beforehand to sell that it is a fun group activity. Hearing "Yeah I'll be there" and "Me Too!" can sway someone who is on the fence.

I'd avoid actively escalating around class members in class or at the bar unless there is a legit orgy vibe going on.

I tried the group thing and now I realise a bunch of the guy regulars live around me so I can no longer play the "let's go home together" card. Any suggestions on how to fix this?

 

[Derek da man]

I tried the group thing and now I realise a bunch of the guy regulars live around me so I can no longer play the "let's go home together" card. Any suggestions on how to fix this?

Why not? Aren't any of these guys trying to do similar to you? I suspect they want to but they don't understand moving fast or escalating thing quickly and are still stuck in the 3 date routine.

 

[outofplace]

Why not? Aren't any of these guys trying to do similar to you? I suspect they want to but they don't understand moving fast or escalating thing quickly and are still stuck in the 3 date routine.

Because I don't have a reason (with plausible deniability) as to why we all can't go back together after class

 

[Chase]

@outofplace,

Because I don't have a reason (with plausible deniability) as to why we all can't go back together after class

The way around this is to find something you seed with the girl that you'll use an excuse to show just to her... then go back together.

e.g., find a little pond that's a bit of a detour from the walk back, and seed it into the conversation. If she likes fish, ducks, water, cattails, weeping willows, etc., or nature, then it's just, "Well, I've gotta show you this neat little spot. It's the most peaceful place. You'll love it."

When it's time to go, you quietly tell her, "Come on, we'll walk back together... I want to show you that peaceful pond on the way."

If some guy overhears and tries to muzzle in, you just tell him, "It's a special spot. I can only take one person at a time. I'm showing her today. I'll take you there next time if you're nice. Bring some fishing rods for us."

Chase