I always used to remove old girlfriends from FB and social media as I thought what's the point. It only makes me look back and think about things. But then I read that you should keep them since you want them to see you doing all sorts of high-value things and getting on with life. But recently with lockdown, I have not really been doing anything exciting so I just unfriended an ex from before lockdown as it was causing me to become weak and think about things every time I saw her updates. I noticed recently that she has responded by blocking me completely and other members of my family. I honestly did not expect any sort of reaction from her as I had not spoken to her in a while and when I last did she made it clear she wasn't interested in hearing from me. Why do you think she responded with such an extreme reaction? And was I right or wrong to unfriend her?
The latest one...sure..my Ex wife of 4 years and her brother and mother got unfriended and blocked when I cut the cord. I did not need them seeing anything that could be used against me, or posting anything on my pages and pictures.
But it has been interesting reconnecting with old college girlfriends. Some are married with kids...Kinda seeing where their trajectory took them. Only friend them if you would welcome them back or would be cordial as friends if you were to meet again. My college girlfriend of 2 months who dumped me , dated a friend of mine and is now married to some other guy is not someone I'm still hung up on. 20 years later we can be cordial ...
But it has been interesting reconnecting with old college girlfriends. Some are married with kids...Kinda seeing where their trajectory took them. Only friend them if you would welcome them back or would be cordial as friends if you were to meet again. My college girlfriend of 2 months who dumped me , dated a friend of mine and is now married to some other guy is not someone I'm still hung up on. 20 years later we can be cordial ...
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2018
- Messages
- 785
@Randy_91 dude! She had an extreme reaction because you've subconsciously told her she has no value to you. She made it clear she wasn't interested, but if there's still a link she feels safe that she can fall back on you if needed. She likes feeling safe and feeling valued (orbiters, friend zones, fans, they'r all lining up). Unfriending her says she has no value and you have zero interest so she's offended and acted out.
It's also upping the interaction, you care so little for her so she cares even less about you. It's an emotional response.
Most people dudes or girls would act the same. Unfriending someone on social media has torn families apart. In today's climate it's one of the most offensive things you can do and it really hurts them.
It's also upping the interaction, you care so little for her so she cares even less about you. It's an emotional response.
Most people dudes or girls would act the same. Unfriending someone on social media has torn families apart. In today's climate it's one of the most offensive things you can do and it really hurts them.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,217
Not when people break up is a different context and is understandable and even expected
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2018
- Messages
- 785
@Skills dude! Totally agree it's understandable and even expected after a break up but it didn't sound very recent to me. If it's been a few month it feels like this is the new status quo and this disrupts it. It's still a lash out reaction to point score after she's realised he's unfriended her, it's an expected reaction that most people would do in this scenario.
I still feel this lash out is rooted to not being validated, it shows they have no interest because it's even worse to come crawling back.... Everyone likes to be liked, it also means if she wants a fuck and going back to her previous lovers to keep her numbers down and because it's easier to set up he's ruled himself out subconsciously it's telling her I won't fuck you again. Bit of an insult right? Fuck them would be the typical thought process.
I still feel this lash out is rooted to not being validated, it shows they have no interest because it's even worse to come crawling back.... Everyone likes to be liked, it also means if she wants a fuck and going back to her previous lovers to keep her numbers down and because it's easier to set up he's ruled himself out subconsciously it's telling her I won't fuck you again. Bit of an insult right? Fuck them would be the typical thought process.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,217
When you break up is a field tested rule to cut All contact, for many different reasons, you need to completely move on, it is the right move for the op, if in a year or 2 once he and she have completely move on they want to re connect ok, but after a break up deleting social media is the right move. Finally, the idea and fantasy of let me show her what she lost is also a bad move cause so a form of pedestalising and a recipe to making bad life decisions based on her vs self interest
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2018
- Messages
- 785
@Skills dude I agree with the cut contact rule and don't disagree with anything you've said. OP asked why she had an "extreme" reaction, I was giving a perspective explaining why she acted how she did. I also mentioned most people dudes or girls would have acted the same way so it was expected. I explained what his actions has sub communicated to her causing her to react.
For OP, I totally disagree . Have you ever noticed or tired to get rid of vacuum or air inside your room ? For you , she should be like this . She is nothing . You don’t even notice if she is on your Facebook or not . She doesn’t exist on the elementary chart
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,217
Oh I see, you are right
The truth is I still really like this girl and probably would take her back but I tried the no contact rule and reached out once or twice after a couple of months in a very non-needy way but she made it clear she wasn't interested in speaking to me. Cut the conversion short and stuff like that. She never liked or commented on any of my posts but I had liked the odd one or two of hers. If she had unfriended me I would just have accepted it and not reacted. The only reason I did it was to stop myself from looking at her profile and feeling like a beta-chod. She posted up some pictures of herself looking great before going out and I just unfriended her couldn't take it any more. It was the complete opposite of her meaning nothing to me but she has reacted like it was.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,217
Did you watch the video I made were I explained everything you just did happens, it happened to the top guy I knew from the community. You made a mistake trying to reached out you should have waited longer
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,217
Break Ups - Break up dynamics for secret society members (seducers, women, gays)
Most break up posts, blogs, videos are mainly accurate but from a normal person view, not from a secret society (specially seducer/player) perspective. What is the difference you may ask? A secret society member is able to access sexual partners fairly quick and usually do not get onitis...
www.skilledseducer.com
Good video! so based on what he was saying do you think that my ex would have eventually reached out if I had waited longer? And her emotional reaction was because she still has feelings for me or is it as @Fluxcapacitor says and it was purely a validation issue and she doesn't give a fuck about me and it was just an affront to her ego that I got to have the last word by unfriending her so she blocked me to try and hurt me because I reached out? She hasn't blocked on what's app as far as i know.
Last edited:
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2020
- Messages
- 63
Enjoying this thread. Didn't watch the video yet so hope these thoughts aren't redundant.
There are so many factors that influence what guys and girls want after a romantic relationship ends. On the GC podcast series, Daka Guy said that relationships with women occur for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think that figuring out what this is for this girl is what you have to do first and foremost. You may come up with a different answer than she does, in which case one of you could be disappointed or hurt. But this is a different question than figuring out whether the relationship is a romantic one going forward. The reason/season/lifetime question you may need more time to figure out your answer to at this point. If so, you may want to tell her you're trying to figure this out and that you will get back to her if you want to remain friends.
Something else I heard from a different person (I think Franco Lombardi) on the GC podcasts also seems apropos. That is that social media and texting is the domain of the woman; it is where they can be dominant. She seems to be acting as if that's her experience of it, doesn't she?
There are so many factors that influence what guys and girls want after a romantic relationship ends. On the GC podcast series, Daka Guy said that relationships with women occur for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I think that figuring out what this is for this girl is what you have to do first and foremost. You may come up with a different answer than she does, in which case one of you could be disappointed or hurt. But this is a different question than figuring out whether the relationship is a romantic one going forward. The reason/season/lifetime question you may need more time to figure out your answer to at this point. If so, you may want to tell her you're trying to figure this out and that you will get back to her if you want to remain friends.
Something else I heard from a different person (I think Franco Lombardi) on the GC podcasts also seems apropos. That is that social media and texting is the domain of the woman; it is where they can be dominant. She seems to be acting as if that's her experience of it, doesn't she?
Last edited:
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2018
- Messages
- 785
@Randy_91 dude! Whether or not she reached out or not if you waited longer has more to do with her than you. This is beyond your control and has a lot to do with how your relationship was and how it ended.
If she has a lot of good options (for what she wants) she's not reaching out. If she wants a provider and had good prospects she's not coming back, if she wants a lover and found a cool dude who's good in bed she isn't coming back. Not until these run their course anyway.
If she's chasing another guy and things are going well and progressing she's happy she has no need to return. After this fucks up she might think about you and could come back. No guarantee. Another reason why you should meet more girls and not focus on getting a girl back. It's not productive and even if you get them back chances are it won't last.
Her extreme reaction could be explained that she still has feelings for you. If you were really good she'll want you back if other dudes don't measure up to what you do. To many factors to discuss but usually if she sees you're unaffected, cool, moving on, meeting other girls she'll want you back...
If she has a lot of good options (for what she wants) she's not reaching out. If she wants a provider and had good prospects she's not coming back, if she wants a lover and found a cool dude who's good in bed she isn't coming back. Not until these run their course anyway.
If she's chasing another guy and things are going well and progressing she's happy she has no need to return. After this fucks up she might think about you and could come back. No guarantee. Another reason why you should meet more girls and not focus on getting a girl back. It's not productive and even if you get them back chances are it won't last.
Her extreme reaction could be explained that she still has feelings for you. If you were really good she'll want you back if other dudes don't measure up to what you do. To many factors to discuss but usually if she sees you're unaffected, cool, moving on, meeting other girls she'll want you back...
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2019
- Messages
- 5,217
I don't know the why since I have never been in your scenario before. But every girl that ever ended with me eventually reached out, and that is only 2 that I remember, must of the time I did the break up. So in my experience if she did the break up, and you go radio silence she reaches out within 1-3 months
She could have just noticed her friend count drop then realised I had vanished. It took her a couple of days to noticed but this woman is never off FB. But yeah I get what you're saying.