Showing too much emotions is not sexy. What is too much?

[Xpander]

Title says it all. As Chase has written in one of his articles, showing to much emotion is bad. So how much is too much, and how much is just about right? Examples would be nice!

 

[Light]

Title says it all. As Chase has written in one of his articles, showing to much emotion is bad. So how much is too much, and how much is just about right? Examples would be nice!

"Just one spoon of sugar for my tea please... "

This is situational. You only show your emotional side if the girl actually digs for it. Your job is to remain dominant and sexy, and mysterious to her.
Her job is to peel you off layer by layer to discover your emotional side.

Should you show it, you only show it briefly, and once in a blue moon.
This is where Musicians have the overall advantage.

Example:
Girl: "Omg.. you can play the piano??"
You: "yes.. but I'm not that great, and I tend to get quite emotional sometimes when I'm playing.. so its not a good sight to see"
Girl: "I would love to hear you play !"

Get it?

 

[Franco]

Hey Xpander,

As Light mentioned, you should not be showing your emotional side all that much. It should be rather rare.

But what might be even more important than how often you show your emotional side is how you show your emotional side. It may have been mentioned in the article you are referring to, but you absolutely must maintain control of your voice when you show it.

Your voice must always be either manly and confident or neutral and unfazed.

Whenever you think about talking to a girl about something that has a high level of emotional value, try to imagine James Bond conveying this emotional information to someone. Chances are, his voice tone would remain exactly the same. You should try to emulate this.

Hope this helps!

- Franco

 

[Xpander]

It really helps but..

There must be a difference between emotions. For example, showing sad or angry emotions must be worse than being happy? Personally, when I have one of those rare days when I feel like a million, I am happy and funny and manage to suck people in, and control the conversations. When I feel like this I can have hot girls come to me just to say hi. This must be a good thing, or is this when the girls just see me as a potential friend?

 

[Light]

The emotion we are talking about is allowing the girl to see your "soft spot"... something that makes them feel like saying... "aww..." which brings out their nature of wanting to "mother you".

 

[Knight]

Hey guys.
When I'm talking to people who I have as allies and want to further strengthen the alliance I often 'snap' out of my state and fall into theirs. Being in high school this means happy, joyful and vibrant. However in hindsight I understand that I have just lost myself to being average and reaction seeking. Have any of you had this problem? What do you do now to conquer it? I understand in the moment what is happening but for some odd reason I keep going until it's out of my system. This mainly happens when talking about passionate hobbies, however things like that come up way to often.

And sorry to hi-jack the thread here but when I'm doing my own thing should I have my eyes wide like in the post on being edgy or should I be walking with straight lips and more focused eyes?

 

[Xpander]

The emotion we are talking about is allowing the girl to see your "soft spot"... something that makes them feel like saying... "aww..." which brings out their nature of wanting to "mother you".

Maybe I should evaluate a couple of things.. I understand that you should not show these feelings too much, but if she goes "aaaw" and gets genuinely touched by you with watery eyes/dilated pupils, once in a blue moon, isn't this a good thing? Also I get confused because Chase mentioned it applies to ALL emotions, like hope, joy, sadness etc. But we can't walk around looking like Bond ALL the time, if you rarely show happiness for example you could come off as grumpy, aight?

 

[Light]

The emotion we are talking about is allowing the girl to see your "soft spot"... something that makes them feel like saying... "aww..." which brings out their nature of wanting to "mother you".

Maybe I should evaluate a couple of things.. I understand that you should not show these feelings too much, but if she goes "aaaw" and gets genuinely touched by you with watery eyes/dilated pupils, once in a blue moon, isn't this a good thing? Also I get confused because Chase mentioned it applies to ALL emotions, like hope, joy, sadness etc. But we can't walk around looking like Bond ALL the time, if you rarely show happiness for example you could come off as grumpy, aight?

Yes its a good thing. But not too much of it.

I'll clear your confusion. You want to be MIRRORING her POSITIVE emotions. But only half or less than her intensity.
What I mean is.. if you tell her a joke and she laughs, then you should giggle.
If she cries, you look away and stay neutral. But you're not happy either.
When she is happy being around you, you smile more.
When a girl goes "aww..." for whatever the reason, you pretend to shy away a little but keeping your cool.

When you do this, you are releasing your emotions in snowflakes.

 

[Xpander]

Yes its a good thing. But not too much of it.

I'll clear your confusion. You want to be MIRRORING her POSITIVE emotions. But only half or less than her intensity.
What I mean is.. if you tell her a joke and she laughs, then you should giggle.
If she cries, you look away and stay neutral. But you're not happy either.
When she is happy being around you, you smile more.
When a girl goes "aww..." for whatever the reason, you pretend to shy away a little but keeping your cool.

When you do this, you are releasing your emotions in snowflakes.

Thanks Light, that helps.

 

[Mr. Hawaii]

Hey guys.
When I'm talking to people who I have as allies and want to further strengthen the alliance I often 'snap' out of my state and fall into theirs. Being in high school this means happy, joyful and vibrant. However in hindsight I understand that I have just lost myself to being average and reaction seeking. Have any of you had this problem? What do you do now to conquer it? I understand in the moment what is happening but for some odd reason I keep going until it's out of my system. This mainly happens when talking about passionate hobbies, however things like that come up way to often.

whats up knight

The problem you speak of in the first paragraph, isn't always a problem. Mirroring other people is a natural human tendency that helps you & them feel a bit bonded, but only if you can do it in a way that seems sincere. We've all met that person that is trying way to hard to be on the same level and it makes you kind of recoil. They easily get labeled as fake, tryhard, weird, off, maybe even annoying. Just like showing emotions, and everything else in life for that matter, you need to key in on balance. When you mirror others successfully, it should feel natural.

Something that has really improved my interactions with people in general is being honest. Before, i never realized how much i would say or do things for image instead of conveying how i really felt. It's something that i'd been doing all my life, so it just seemed like the correct way to interact. I'm pretty sure people can see right through that (we all have pretty strong intuition i believe). But now there's not much filter between my thoughts and what i say, and it leaves my words a bit blunt sometimes.

Keep in mind, being honest isn't the same as treating your mouth like a girl's twitter feed. You shouldn't be sharing your every thought with people.

And sorry to hi-jack the thread here but when I'm doing my own thing should I have my eyes wide like in the post on being edgy or should I be walking with straight lips and more focused eyes?

This one's a bit hard. When you start focusing on your vibe right then and there, it kind of counteracts everything. You can pick out the guys that are super focused on being strong and confident, He just read a post on how to be confident and he needs to use all of it, or else everyone will know how un-confident he is (He thinks). It's like he's marching- looking straight ahead, with his back stiff as a board, then he'll glance down every once in a while because keeping up the act is taking a toll and he has to rest if only for a second.

The trick i use when walking solo- somewhere crowded, like a shopping mall or Waikiki, is do like sexy and confident girls do. To those stunners: No body else exists.
Its just me enjoying me time, and whoever might catch my eye. But the hard part is, not everyone can catch your eye, or else you're in hunter mode, which isn't attractive.