Silence - in a club

[Jan]

It happened to me several times in a club/bar that I would talk to a chick or chicks and they would be SILENT.

This happens to me way more often with hot girls. I don't get this reaction with regular girls.

How to interpret this behavior? It's usually accompanied with a cold face and unexpressive, unemotional body language.

I'm not rejected verbally, but I don't feel like I'm welcome neither.

Are they silent because they are listening, not decided about me, and kind of seeing what I'm gonna do, and therefore giving me a chance. Or?

What do you guys think?

 

[ulrich]

What were the things you did that led to that reaction?
Can you give us more details of your last interaction?

 

[Don Giovanni]

I don’t have an answer to your question, but an attitude - “make the ho say no”.

 

[Jan]

What were the things you did that led to that reaction?
Can you give us more details of your last interaction?

I don't remember specifics unfortunately

Mostly what I remember from these interactions is that it didn't matter what i said, emotionally it led to nowhere. And her reaction was mostly like "mhhh"

 

[DonGately]

are you unattractive, very short, or overweight? do you dress like you work at best buy or somewhere less impressive in the club?

If not, you really got to work on your openers. Are you reading their body language before you approach?

 

[Will_V]

It happened to me several times in a club/bar that I would talk to a chick or chicks and they would be SILENT.

This happens to me way more often with hot girls. I don't get this reaction with regular girls.

How to interpret this behavior? It's usually accompanied with a cold face and unexpressive, unemotional body language.

I'm not rejected verbally, but I don't feel like I'm welcome neither.

Are they silent because they are listening, not decided about me, and kind of seeing what I'm gonna do, and therefore giving me a chance. Or?

What do you guys think?

This kind of thing can be an attempt to apply pressure from someone who feels like they are in control (i.e. they are in the right place and you are not). If you come across like a reasonably likable guy but she thinks you're playing way out of your league, this kind of thing can happen. As opposed to if you're more aggressive/assertive, she might feel you're not on her level but also that she's not in control, and you might get either a lot sharper rejections, or interest/arousal, depending on how you play it.

It can also be a sort of holding pattern - i.e. 'I don't know what to make of you, show me what you've got or get lost'. For example if you come across as too reserved or low energy.

Generally being more skillfully assertive and dominant, and coming in with stronger energy, is a good way to polarize things one way or the other.

 

[Jan]

are you unattractive, very short, or overweight? do you dress like you work at best buy or somewhere less impressive in the club?

If not, you really got to work on your openers. Are you reading their body language before you approach?

"are you unattractive, very short, or overweight? do you dress like you work at best buy or somewhere less impressive in the club? - definitely not any of these

as to body language - usually night clubs are too crowded, chaotic for these, or she is standing kind of facing different direction, so I'm approaching sideways, can't see what body language has to do with it

 

[Jan]

This kind of thing can be an attempt to apply pressure from someone who feels like they are in control (i.e. they are in the right place and you are not). If you come across like a reasonably likable guy but she thinks you're playing way out of your league, this kind of thing can happen. As opposed to if you're more aggressive/assertive, she might feel you're not on her level but also that she's not in control, and you might get either a lot sharper rejections, or interest/arousal, depending on how you play it.

It can also be a sort of holding pattern - i.e. 'I don't know what to make of you, show me what you've got or get lost'. For example if you come across as too reserved or low energy.

Generally being more skillfully assertive and dominant, and coming in with stronger energy, is a good way to polarize things one way or the other.

It feels to me like "she thinks I'm playing out of my league"

You're also right about being reserved/low energy - I'm generally chill, low energy, non-reactive type of person

for that reason (and for many others), I decided to skip night game, I feel like I have to artificially pump up my energy just to fit it, and it just doesn't make sense to me

What do you suggest I should do? Just ignore this problem/night clubs, and focus on environments which fit my personality better?

 

[phuasjn2]

It happened to me several times in a club/bar that I would talk to a chick or chicks and they would be SILENT.

I agree with Will, come in with stronger energy.

Say something playful, make a funny face or poke her. Is the club/bar really noisy that the chick cant really hear you?