"Situationships", going through a break-up, and "taking time for myself" Strategies?

[Echoes]

Hey all!

Starting to feel like there's no single girls at my commercial gym (of age, at least...). Does anyone have tips for girls that throw out them being in "sorta relationships" as a reason to not move forward? Definitely could be my vibe isn't strong enough to hook them, but beyond getting my fundamentals sorted, I haven't been able to effectively counter this frame Disclaimer: Not trying to press girls who say they have a boyfriend/husband.

There's also a decent amount of recent/current breakup situations. I try to paint us hanging out as just relaxing and getting away from all that, but nothing has panned out yet. Any tips for these ladies?

Lastly, ran into "promised not to date and take time for myself" with the FR Gym #3 girl over text. No real idea how to maneuver that one effectively in real life or text, tips welcome!


I've stopped asking if they're single, letting my directness and teasing carry the day, and because I'm fine being turned down. I feel I can actually shine even more by being chill about being turned down and leaving the ball in their court, while a "not single" response makes further direct efforts dubious in a semi-closed environment.

Thanks all!

 

[HoofHearted]

This reads like a computer that was fed endless material on the subject and programmed to produce some random paragraphs based on buzz words.

I think maybe go talk to more girls and discover the problems firsthand.

Dump more raw experience in, and then read as you run into problems. Try to take a moment to understand, identify and express the problems you are actually having.

If I had to take a guess, and could be wrong, but based on this post... not enough gathering of actual experience.

 

[Echoes]

Cleaned up the main post a bit. 30ish approaches in a month, with nearly all being very positive for most of the interaction, and 6 numbers in 10 days. I think the quantity is there, especially for how limited my surroundings are for meeting old enough, available girls. I share the nitty-gritty in my FR and Journal to better paint the fundamentals side of things, which clearly is the main issue. However, these situations have been very common and ARE derailing things whenever they come up, which is why I'm asking for tips about each.

 

[HoofHearted]

Well you seem earnest enough. I'm in no way qualified to help you, but let me take another pass at this, then. It's exceptionally vague.

Starting to feel like there's no single girls at my commercial gym (of age, at least...). Does anyone have tips for girls that throw out them being in "sorta relationships" as a reason to not move forward? Definitely could be my vibe isn't strong enough to hook them, but beyond getting my fundamentals sorted, I haven't been able to effectively counter this frame Disclaimer: Not trying to press girls who say they have a boyfriend/husband.

I don't like meeting women at the gym, because I love the gym. It can be done, though.

If she says she's sorta in relationship, then I imagine she's most likely not interested in you.

There's also a decent amount of recent/current breakup situations. I try to paint us hanging out as just relaxing and getting away from all that, but nothing has panned out yet. Any tips for these ladies?

I don't know what this means. Are you approaching women in the gym, and they say they've recently ended a relationship, and you offer to come let them hang out with you for relaxation?

If that's true, I would suggest you stop what you're doing, leave the girls at the gym alone, and go meet women elsewhere using repeatable-but-flexible process that evolves over time as it is used.

Lastly, ran into "promised not to date and take time for myself" with the FR Gym #3 girl over text. No real idea how to maneuver that one effectively in real life or text, tips welcome!

Again no specifics but it means she don't like you. If what generated this response was: met in person, got number, asked out over text... then you just learned a very valuable lesson, don't ask for dates over text in these situations. (A clear cut example of a woman rejecting what you're doing, regardless of who you are).


The phone number statistics don't help since phone numbers are meaningless, at best a tool to mitigate logistical constraints imo. Dates? Sex? Goals?

 

[Beck Bass]

I've stopped asking if they're single

I don't like asking that for the most part as well, generally don't lead to much good, for me at least

Not trying to press girls who say they have a boyfriend/husband.

Yeah don't, at most you could joke you're not jealous or some silly stuff like that, but depending on the girl it can backfire even more. If a girl tells you she has a bf generally you did something wrong, but could be she's just a little intimidated or rather take the easy way out if she can, but if she still having a nice convo with you you could reverse that, but it really isn't a good sign (not necessarily a game over though). She could also really have a boyfriend/husband lol

"promised not to date and take time for myself"

I would say something like "oh me too, I just thought you were cool and had to say hello", you could even frame going out as "just friends" (before she says anything like that), if you're sexy enough you might even make her chase a bit and reverse the frame

6 numbers in 10 days

This is good work, I think it just might be a bit hard to transition out of the gym into a real date because you're "just that guy from the gym". Unless the girl is really into you, there's not much reason for her to trust you and go out of her way to see you. Maybe you need some more similarity, like clicking with girls so they feel you're more than just that gym buddy of them

 

[Echoes]

Yeah don't, at most you could joke you're not jealous or some silly stuff like that, but depending on the girl it can backfire even more. If a girl tells you she has a bf generally you did something wrong, but could be she's just a little intimidated or rather take the easy way out if she can, but if she still having a nice convo with you you could reverse that, but it really isn't a good sign (not necessarily a game over though). She could also really have a boyfriend/husband lol

Yeah, I just assume they're telling the truth and let it go, especially given it's a gym. I'll chat a little more, so it feels "normal" but bow out soon.

I would say something like "oh me too, I just thought you were cool and had to say hello", you could even frame going out as "just friends" (before she says anything like that), if you're sexy enough you might even make her chase a bit and reverse the frame

See...I thought about doing something like that at first, then fell into fuckboyness and said "Perfect! I'm just in time to help you ruin all your life goals *tongue out to side smiley*" no response... I'm falling into a weird middle ground of either hard closing too soon, or being way too flirty too fast in the texting. Reading Hector's texting book currently. Beyond applying everything I'll learn there, also aiming to apply Skills' soft close approach.

This is good work, I think it just might be a bit hard to transition out of the gym into a real date because you're "just that guy from the gym". Unless the girl is really into you, there's not much reason for her to trust you and go out of her way to see you. Maybe you need some more similarity, like clicking with girls so they feel you're more than just that gym buddy of them

Honestly, I'm really good at connecting people in general and tease by default. I think it comes down to amount of exposure (I try to close after 2-5 minutes max) and probably being hurt given they expect to see me there in the future. Staying a little longer would probably help, as well as framing it differently. Currently try to close with, "hey, I have to go, but how'd you like to hang out sometime?" which usually gets a decently positive agreement, followed by number swap and a tiny more teasing. I can see how the buy-in is too low, not sure how to fix that, yet.

Could also do with more qualifying statements. I focus on asking if they're in college and if they've traveled, but have yet to express approval back. Should also show approval for good fitness ethic.

 

[Skills]

Hey all!

Starting to feel like there's no single girls at my commercial gym (of age, at least...). Does anyone have tips for girls that throw out them being in "sorta relationships" as a reason to not move forward? Definitely could be my vibe isn't strong enough to hook them, but beyond getting my fundamentals sorted, I haven't been able to effectively counter this frame Disclaimer: Not trying to press girls who say they have a boyfriend/husband.

There's also a decent amount of recent/current breakup situations. I try to paint us hanging out as just relaxing and getting away from all that, but nothing has panned out yet. Any tips for these ladies?

Lastly, ran into "promised not to date and take time for myself" with the FR Gym #3 girl over text. No real idea how to maneuver that one effectively in real life or text, tips welcome!


I've stopped asking if they're single, letting my directness and teasing carry the day, and because I'm fine being turned down. I feel I can actually shine even more by being chill about being turned down and leaving the ball in their court, while a "not single" response makes further direct efforts dubious in a semi-closed environment.

Thanks all!

The reason they are telling you is usually cause they are not interested and is fine that is normal, that is the number 1 way they say they are not interested... I would not stop asking that, just make sure you ask post hook point indirectly.. Are you here at the gym looking fit and sexy for your boyfriend that is nice? if she is interested she would say "i don't have a bf"... I personally don't like are you single? i like to play around more indirectly and subtle.... But are you single is fine as well post hook point.... if she says she has bf, she actually does or she is not interested.... if her body language betrays they i have a bf since her body language showing interest, that is when you play around addressing the objection, awesome he can cook us breakfast in the morning, just kidding we can be friends i like your vibe and the likes...