Sober Night Game - Tips and Tidbits?

[Hue]

Yo yo.

I've recently made a pact to not drink for the entire month of January.

This is going to be a fucking challenge, in and of itself. I've been drinking heavily for like.. 4-5 years straight (which is why I'm taking a legitimate break).

I know that people can go out and still pull during night game, but it's not something that I've ever done 100% sober at the bar.


Anyone have tips for:

1. 1). How to resist drinking when I work at a bar?

• 2). What changes I should expect for sober night game?

• 3). Other shit to do on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night?

It's probably all in my head and not as big of a monster as I'm making it out to be.. but with how strong of a habit I've formed, and how deeply ingrained it is in all my social circles, it should be pretty challenging.

As far as dealing with people asking why I'm sober, that's not so much my concern. I'm just wondering if there's anything that other people who have done the same thing immediately took notice to or felt like sharing from their experience.

I'm already thinking about how much pussy there is gonna be at bars for the first month of spring semester (and I'm done with undergraduate so have all the time in the fucking world) and the FOMO. For now I'll just try and reframe things in my head as I previously recommended to sweet uncle C and see what happens


Oh and happy new year fellas (;


Hue


EDIT: Did a little research and watched this video. Holy shit man lol. This and others makes drinking sound so silly... And holy fuck the dude's reaction on day 17 shows how rooted that shit can become in you.

It is new years so I'm drinking tonight, for sure. But I'm almost excited for this challenge going into 2019.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Huey Duey,

Wassup my dawg.

Ya man almost all my lay reports from nightgame (which I guess comprise the most of all my pulls) except for 1 exception were all done sober. I did nightgame exclusively for a good year and a half and had some pretty epic adventures. I'll try and weigh in on what I can for you.

1). How to resist drinking when I work at a bar?

Can't speak on that so much. I quit drinking (and all substances) back at the end of 2012 when I turned 19 because I had a lot of substance abuse problems so I just quit everything and never looked back. So once I was 21 and able to do nightgame legally I was already in the habit of not drinking and being sober.

2). What changes I should expect for sober night game?

The hardest switch is just how weird it feels to be sober in an bar or club where everyone's under the influence, its pretty intimidating at first and can easily leading to you getting stuck in your head and standing around like a dweeb if your not used to it.

Whereas when you drink you sort of fall into a socially outgoing state much easier as the alcohol dulls your inhibitions and also your inner dialogue a bit. When your sober you have to really work a lot harder to "get out of your head" and build social momentum.

You might be already naturally pretty social and not have much approach anxiety or anxiety of large crowds to begin with so maybe that won't apply to you as much but that's what I personally found to be the case.

To overcome this you just gotta force yourself to get approaching and build social momentum early on. As soon as you leave an interaction immediately go approach a new someone. I find getting to the venue early before there's a ton of people (which makes things more intimidating) and girls guards are down less and more approachable is the ideal way to get going (so maybe arrive at the venue at like 9:30 or whatever is early for your town).

Aside from difficulties building social momentum I also found it quite awkward and difficult to physically escalate and also go for the pull. When your tipsy on alcohol you get in that "zone" where everything feels smooth and you just go for it whereas when your sober it can feel pretty damn awkward at first and you might find yourself hesitating or not pushing your interactions as sexual or aggressive as you might if you were drinking.

This can be overcome to the point where you feel super comfortable escalating and aggressively leading things sober but it can take some time to work on. If you want to blast through this as quick as possible I found it helpful to just go out and intentionally be overly physical and aggressive with the intention of being blown out (see where the line is). Some guys I've seen some guys model their game off of an aggressive physical screening right off the bat. If a girl's not letting them get physical then they'll get rejected quick and find the girls that are really into them faster.

Finding a wingman that doesn't drink is also helpful because then you don't have any peer pressure from a drinking wingman. When I was going out RSD had a big presence in my city (RSD is big into picking up sober) and I found a few really good wings that didn't drink (there's also a ton of whacko's into RSD as well haha so avoid them). Usually there's a RSD inner circle FB group or forum you can try.

3). Other shit to do on a Thursday, Friday, or Saturday night?

Good question. It sounds like your more worried about going out and falling into the habit of ordering a drink I take it? Yeah when I was breaking free of my substance abuse issues I found it very difficult to not use/drink/smoke etc if I was around people that were using as well. Like near impossible but when I was not around people drinking/using I found it pretty easy to break the habit (since I didn't have access to it).

Might want to just test your willpower. Can you go to the bar, sip on a spritzer and lime, and not feel inclined to order a drink? Or is it a battle of wills?

If its a battle of wills you might be better off finding a new activity to do or spending the extra time honing up on your daygame skills for the month (if you live in a big city there's usually a city center with a decent turnover of women after work etc.).

Some alternatives I've found good include ballroom/swing/salsa dance nights. No drinking and you can find some hot girls as well.

I solute to you for making the change man, when you cut alcohol out of your life you will feel a notch healthier than you have in years likely and the confidence you get from being able to approach a woman and then pull her back and fuck her sober without any inebriation will bring you a level of confidence that you can pick up a girl in damn near any social situation. A real core confidence booster in my experience and my friends who game sober as well.

Keep us posted on how you do. Good luck man!

-Rob

 

[ElderPrice]

I've never been a drinker so everything I've learned, I've learned to do while sober. Some quick tips:
1. Remember to treat it all as a fun game or experience. Socializing sober should be as fun as socializing with alcohol. The process should be fun.
2. A large percentage of bar go-ers aren't there to get wasted. You're not alone.
3. You asked for other things to do at night? Go dancing. If you're in a city you should be able to find dance venues that go until late at night, even on Friday/Saturday nights. Country, salsa, etc. If you're dancing and socializing you'll almost feel like you're wasting time by going to get a drink!

Good luck!

 

[Sub-Zero]

You're a bartender? I didn't know u could drink while on the job. But how is the bartender life? Is it pussy galore?

 

[Hue]

Ricky Robby,

Thanks for the insight brotha.

Ya man almost all my lay reports from nightgame (which I guess comprise the most of all my pulls) except for 1 exception were all done sober. I did nightgame exclusively for a good year and a half and had some pretty epic adventures. I'll try and weigh in on what I can for you.

Could you link me some of your best / most insightful lays? I'll have to take some time to read up on your crusades.

Can't speak on that so much. I quit drinking (and all substances) back at the end of 2012 when I turned 19 because I had a lot of substance abuse problems so I just quit everything and never looked back. So once I was 21 and able to do nightgame legally I was already in the habit of not drinking and being sober.

I have noticed that on weekends I'm just really fucking energized even if I'm not drunk yet. Drinking helps smooth out my.. primalness lol because I've more or less hacked my testosterone to peak during the weekends.

That said it becomes really, really easy for me to overdo it and take part in several rounds of shots with my coworkers when we're out.

The hardest switch is just how weird it feels to be sober in an bar or club where everyone's under the influence, its pretty intimidating at first and can easily leading to you getting stuck in your head and standing around like a dweeb if your not used to it.

Yea dude I was just with some friends the other night while they had beers and I drank water and I totally felt the disconnect. I was still cool with myself being how I was but it felt obvious they were on one page and I was on another.

Whereas when you drink you sort of fall into a socially outgoing state much easier as the alcohol dulls your inhibitions and also your inner dialogue a bit. When your sober you have to really work a lot harder to "get out of your head" and build social momentum.

You might be already naturally pretty social and not have much approach anxiety or anxiety of large crowds to begin with so maybe that won't apply to you as much but that's what I personally found to be the case.

To overcome this you just gotta force yourself to get approaching and build social momentum early on. As soon as you leave an interaction immediately go approach a new someone. I find getting to the venue early before there's a ton of people (which makes things more intimidating) and girls guards are down less and more approachable is the ideal way to get going (so maybe arrive at the venue at like 9:30 or whatever is early for your town).

This helps a lot. I am generally a pretty social guy but building that full on social momentum where you think you're gonna end up pulling a girl because it's going good usually happens later in the night for me when I'm fairly intoxicated.

I'll try my best to keep in mind that there is more than just the alcohol being at it's peak during this point in the night too, and a lot of it has to do with moving through many different conversations and physically being out and about.

When your tipsy on alcohol you get in that "zone" where everything feels smooth and you just go for it whereas when your sober it can feel pretty damn awkward at first and you might find yourself hesitating or not pushing your interactions as sexual or aggressive as you might if you were drinking.

This can be overcome to the point where you feel super comfortable escalating and aggressively leading things sober but it can take some time to work on. If you want to blast through this as quick as possible I found it helpful to just go out and intentionally be overly physical and aggressive with the intention of being blown out (see where the line is). Some guys I've seen some guys model their game off of an aggressive physical screening right off the bat. If a girl's not letting them get physical then they'll get rejected quick and find the girls that are really into them faster.

Yea and I hate to say this but that's the main thing I'm fearful of. When I'm on a date with a girl is one thing, but when I'm more alert and in a totally public setting without commitment such as a bar it's obviously different. I don't want to become hesitant in using touch or saying something explicitly sexual because of potential repercussions... maybe I've convinced myself that because I'm drunk that's plausible deniability for being more aggressive?

But yea you're right I need to just go and smash through the wall. I'll try to remind myself that I very well may fail / be perceived as crude in the beginning but to push through it as the night continues.

That style of game is something one of the writers called "Control" game because it's more along the lines of knowing that a girl will eventually be down with your advances and to pull her quickly, despite being rejected or screwing up earlier.

Finding a wingman that doesn't drink is also helpful because then you don't have any peer pressure from a drinking wingman. When I was going out RSD had a big presence in my city (RSD is big into picking up sober) and I found a few really good wings that didn't drink (there's also a ton of whacko's into RSD as well haha so avoid them). Usually there's a RSD inner circle FB group or forum you can try.

Yea the RSD guys I've met in my city weren't very cool. They were either too new to game / socializing for me to want to hang out with them or they were very sage-like and felt they knew more than I did about women. Even if they did most people don't like being lectured to as they hang out with someone.

Good question. It sounds like your more worried about going out and falling into the habit of ordering a drink I take it? Yeah when I was breaking free of my substance abuse issues I found it very difficult to not use/drink/smoke etc if I was around people that were using as well. Like near impossible but when I was not around people drinking/using I found it pretty easy to break the habit (since I didn't have access to it).

Might want to just test your willpower. Can you go to the bar, sip on a spritzer and lime, and not feel inclined to order a drink? Or is it a battle of wills?

Yea, we'll find out man. I said I'm gonna go out and just order soda waters with limes and pound those back lol.

If its a battle of wills you might be better off finding a new activity to do or spending the extra time honing up on your daygame skills for the month (if you live in a big city there's usually a city center with a decent turnover of women after work etc.).

Some alternatives I've found good include ballroom/swing/salsa dance nights. No drinking and you can find some hot girls as well.

Already got one picked out for Friday (;

Hopefully can meet me a latina to teach la salsa.

I solute to you for making the change man, when you cut alcohol out of your life you will feel a notch healthier than you have in years likely and the confidence you get from being able to approach a woman and then pull her back and fuck her sober without any inebriation will bring you a level of confidence that you can pick up a girl in damn near any social situation. A real core confidence booster in my experience and my friends who game sober as well.

Fuck yea man, thanks. Many aren't taking me all that seriously because, simply put, I love to drink. So I appreciate the support.

I'll try to keep reminding myself why I'm doing it in the first place and go exercise or something when I get cravings.


Elder,

I've never been a drinker so everything I've learned, I've learned to do while sober. Some quick tips:
1. Remember to treat it all as a fun game or experience. Socializing sober should be as fun as socializing with alcohol. The process should be fun.
2. A large percentage of bar go-ers aren't there to get wasted. You're not alone.
3. You asked for other things to do at night? Go dancing. If you're in a city you should be able to find dance venues that go until late at night, even on Friday/Saturday nights. Country, salsa, etc. If you're dancing and socializing you'll almost feel like you're wasting time by going to get a drink!

Good luck!

1). Right, this is a process. And I agree, it is with the right people!
2). I may have to bounce around the bar a bit to find some people I jive with that are just getting a buzz on / not drinking, but yes - they're out there.
3). Word up. I can definitely have fun doing that.

Thanks bro!


Sub,

You're a bartender? I didn't know u could drink while on the job. But how is the bartender life? Is it pussy galore?

No, not yet. And I don't lol, but working at a bar on the weekend and not drinking when you're off is like eating just naked kale salad at a Vegas buffet.

Also hit Toby's thread for some of what working at a bar is like. If you wanna know specifics hit me with a PM and I'll send you some of my FR's where I talk about that.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Ricky Robby, Thanks for the insight brotha.

Haha no problem Hueby Doobie glad you found it helpful.

Could you link me some of your best / most insightful lays? I'll have to take some time to read up on your crusades.

Ya I think you got active on the boards pretty soon after I went inactive on the boards here back in 2016. I can't thank you enough for asking this, I went through some of my old LR's and relived some really funny and beautiful memories I hadn't thought about in years.

Here's a few good examples of sober nightgame:

1. LR: Old High School Crush (Chill sober nightgame)
2. LRX2: Terror In Miami (Me gaming in party city Miami sober. 3 reports you can choose one that interests you most. The first report is my favorite)

I have noticed that on weekends I'm just really fucking energized even if I'm not drunk yet. Drinking helps smooth out my.. primalness lol because I've more or less hacked my testosterone to peak during the weekends.

If you learn to harness that sober and full self-expression you will be a God.

Yea dude I was just with some friends the other night while they had beers and I drank water and I totally felt the disconnect. I was still cool with myself being how I was but it felt obvious they were on one page and I was on another.

Ya I remember the feeling. The difference is actually a bit more in your head than you think.

In my experience the key to jelling with other people drinking is all in the vibe. As in you'll be emulating the vibe of a drunk person (key here is the vibe not soo much the words or slurred speech or saying dumb shit).

Ever read Ricardus's articles on vibe and recalling how you felt in past situations and recreating the feelings within yourself and expressing them in a new situation? You basically want to get good at this and also matching the same "vibe" or feeling your getting from the people drinking around you. Vibe and same wavelength of conversation and "bringing the energy".

This should be easier for you since your already a higher energy naturally socially outgoing guy which is a huge plus in your favor.

Ideally you get to a point where people assume you've been drinking and they would be surprised to know your actually sober. I got so good at this that if people asked me what I was drinking and I told them I don't drink this is just a spritzer they would think I was lying to them.

Yea and I hate to say this but that's the main thing I'm fearful of. When I'm on a date with a girl is one thing, but when I'm more alert and in a totally public setting without commitment such as a bar it's obviously different. I don't want to become hesitant in using touch or saying something explicitly sexual because of potential repercussions... maybe I've convinced myself that because I'm drunk that's plausible deniability for being more aggressive?

But yea you're right I need to just go and smash through the wall. I'll try to remind myself that I very well may fail / be perceived as crude in the beginning but to push through it as the night continues.

That's probably the case. Its funny how alcohol gives us the permission to act in socially unacceptable ways huh? haha But that's it, your retraining your brain to act in "socially unacceptable" ways not when drinking but when your out in a nightgame venue.

What do people do when their drunk? They behave in socially unnacceptable ways they would typically looked down on.

Well gaming sober your going to behave and act in ways that you should technically catch some flak for but you learn to get away with it. Def trial and error but for me personally I started with conversation and just pushing what I could get away with conversationally (just read any of my lay reports) and then if I'd push the boundaries there I felt more comfortable pushing the boundaries physically as well. Start small work your way up type of thing.

Ideally you get to a point where you can just lock eye contact with a girl, hold your hand out, and wrap her into you pelvis to pelvis and say "hey I'm heuby, how do you like the feel of my doobie" haha couldn't help myself there

But on a serious note you just get used to it until you feel super comfortable in the environment sober, comfortable conversationally, and comfortable being physically aggressive. It just takes some time but once you get there your locked in and its just second nature.

Fuck yea man, thanks. Many aren't taking me all that seriously because, simply put, I love to drink. So I appreciate the support.

Whether you actually pursue sober nightgame as a change you want to make or you do your month challenge even just seeing what its like is going to make things twice as easy if you do go back to drinking casually.

For me it was more of a necessary thing to figure out than a challenge due to my past but again I solute to you for even giving it a 30 day challenge.

I've read quite a few of your LR's and I know you got chops, if I may I'd challenge you to try and see if you can pull a girl sober from a drinking nightgame environment before the end of your challenge. I'd bet you can pull it off and I'd be real curious to read how it goes for you.

Anyway way good luck big dawg. Keep us posted on how its going!

-Rowdy Robby

 

[MileHighTexan]

My man, we are in the exact same boat. After NYE I decided to do a sober January. Clear my head, be healthy, take a break from waking up hung over. Also training for a half marathon later this month. At the same time I've been itching to get back in the game and meet more girls. I do think it will be challenging at first but then again I feel like people give less and less of a shit if you drink at a bar as I've gotten older.

Plus I think going out sober will allow us to hone our skills more and not use booze as a crutch. I do love the rush of adrenaline I get when I approach a girl sober. I don't feel it near as much while drinking.

Keep us posted! The odds of this are low but if we were in the same city I'd absolutely want to wing it with you!

 

[Hue]

Rob,

Thanks so much for this man. These are epic lays. And what I love the most is the CLARITY that you have as you are writing about pretty advanced shit (dominating that old dude, reversing the idea in that one girls head, taking charge with those RSD guys).

This plausible deniability shit with alcohol that I've had in my head is (for lack of a better word), undeniable.

Wow man. Haha you fucking savage.

I've really got some work to do, huh?


Also, I was out solo just now trying to get social energy at a concert, and while driving to my next location (perks of not being drunk, no more ubers!) and the guy that said he'd quit with me texted me that he gave in and is drinking tonight.

I was so pissed and started to stress, and all these thoughts about how it won't really be worth it, it's not that big of a deal, blah blah blah started rushing to my head. I was fucking yelling at myself to not give in. I went, got some food, came home and made some tacos (probably stress eating, although I was hungry due to cutting regularly timed dinner to boost T - which is a liitttle insane on my part lol) and read these.

I feel so much better.

This will be worth it man, thank you. To be honest I've already noticed in the four days I've been sober that 1). many of my character defects are basically put on the back burner because of how often I drink and 2). alcohol is the center of my life and many of my friend's lives. So honestly, I may go beyond the challenge, but we'll see.


Hindsight, considering my flood of positive emotions from last Wednesday, I should have gone straight to a popular bar and tried to slay. Was way more in the mood try to than I am now. Regardless, I'm headed back out, wish me luck.


MileHigh,

Wassup man! Let's do it dude. If you want to, keep me posted too! I could really use someone who's in the same boat as me. None of my friends who are good at getting pussy or even actively trying to get pussy are giving up drinking, so I'd have no problem turning this into a month long sober-journalish thing.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Rob, Thanks so much for this man. These are epic lays. And what I love the most is the CLARITY that you have as you are writing about pretty advanced shit.

I've really got some work to do, huh?

Thanks man I'm glad you enjoyed the stories, that was a fun vacation and good memories with good people. Work to do? Idk you seem to have more consistent lays from what I can tell (I'd always get a few in succession and then go dry for a while where you seem to have more consistency) but ya just in the sense of getting used to gaming sober will be more work than your used to.

the guy that said he'd quit with me texted me that he gave in and is drinking tonight.

Ah man super weak.

I was so pissed and started to stress, and all these thoughts about how it won't really be worth it, it's not that big of a deal, blah blah blah started rushing to my head. I was fucking yelling at myself to not give in. I went, got some food, came home and made some tacos (probably stress eating, although I was hungry due to cutting regularly timed dinner to boost T - which is a liitttle insane on my part lol) and read these.

I feel so much better.

Ah sweet glad I could help dawg. Ya the toughest part is being around people that are drinking and not giving in, willpower breaks pretty easy in those situations. Eh man if we lived in the same city I'd go out sober with ya and you'd have no problem but ya any time your around friends drinking your in the danger zone to break your willpower.

This will be worth it man, thank you. To be honest I've already noticed in the four days I've been sober that 1). many of my character defects are basically put on the back burner because of how often I drink and 2). alcohol is the center of my life and many of my friend's lives. So honestly, I may go beyond the challenge, but we'll see.

Interesting, ya I'd imagine you might go through a phase of getting to know "the real sober Hue" and you might get to know yourself in a way you hadn't accessed in years. I hope you find that productive.

Keep us posted on how it goes man. Cheers man,
-Rob

 

[Hue]

Ya the toughest part is being around people that are drinking and not giving in, willpower breaks pretty easy in those situations

Yea it's been tough. Though I've noticed overall that the truth of the matter is just like you said. It's social momentum building up and the vibe of everyone around you. People just attribute the good vibes and the good times to the alcohol when it's in fact the entire experience itself. Huge insight for me.

In many ways I do my own shit regardless with some of my main drinking buddies so despite the difficulty they acknowledge that's how it's gonna be. Doesn't stop the shit they've been giving me lol.

Might have to rock it solo for a bit to really get the chops down.

Eh man if we lived in the same city I'd go out sober with ya and you'd have no problem but ya any time your around friends drinking your in the danger zone to break your willpower.

Word up brotha.

Interesting, ya I'd imagine you might go through a phase of getting to know "the real sober Hue" and you might get to know yourself in a way you hadn't accessed in years. I hope you find that productive.

100%. This will be a mental and physical cleanse. It's easy for me to say this on a Sunday night as opposed to a Friday, but I'm pumped to see where I'll be mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially by February.



I don't wanna bug ya too much about all this shit, but I did have two more questions as this has been developing,


My friends were giving me shit when I went out Friday and almost fucked a chick, saying that I was "taking a victim", because she had been drinking. I told them they're overestimating how inhibited hot girls let themselves get at bars, as well as the social protection they walk into bars with (flocks of girls and orbiters).

When it comes to gaming girls that are buzzed (I'm not interested in fucking drunk chicks - that doesn't even sound fun), what are your thoughts on the cultural perspective and potential social repercussions?

I would never do that shit with a girl I thought was too drunk. Even when I'm hammered I"ll tell girls no if they're that drunk. But the narrative of a sober guy at a bar = creepy, for a lot of people. What do you think?


Lastly, I just decided I'm not telling anyone else I'm going sober because I've seen a polarizing effect from it. Some guys get insecure about their own drinking and some are just all, "why the fuck not?". I even had a bumble chick ghost me when I told her I was getting sober. She asked if I drank alot before and I explained a few reasons --> radio silence.

Did you tell people you were going sober, or just not bring it up? I gave advice to Sweet Uncle C on the matter, but if you have anything worth saying on that I'd love to hear it.


Thanks for all this, again man.

Hueby Dooby

 

[Mr.Rob]

Hey Hue, Ya I can weigh in a bit more.

Yea it's been tough. Though I've noticed overall that the truth of the matter is just like you said. It's social momentum building up and the vibe of everyone around you. People just attribute the good vibes and the good times to the alcohol when it's in fact the entire experience itself. Huge insight for me.

Exactly.

My friends were giving me shit when I went out Friday and almost fucked a chick, saying that I was "taking a victim", because she had been drinking. I told them they're overestimating how inhibited hot girls let themselves get at bars, as well as the social protection they walk into bars with (flocks of girls and orbiters).

When it comes to gaming girls that are buzzed (I'm not interested in fucking drunk chicks - that doesn't even sound fun), what are your thoughts on the cultural perspective and potential social repercussions?

I would never do that shit with a girl I thought was too drunk. Even when I'm hammered I"ll tell girls no if they're that drunk. But the narrative of a sober guy at a bar = creepy, for a lot of people. What do you think?

Interesting. I've never actually dealt with this from a social repercussions standpoint (though I have admittedly pulled 1 or 2 pretty drunk girls lol). Should I have done that? Probably not (slightly unethical and a potential risk of catching a charge in the #metoo era)... How did both of those girls view the situation after the fact? One came and hung out with me a week later because she liked me so much and the other gives me bambi eyes everytime I went and ate at the restaurant she works at and had a big cheesy smile on her face.

So the girls you hook up with (assuming your cool and give them a good time of course) won't think your a creep (both of those girls knew I was sober when I met them btw). Its everyone else! The girls friends and your friends.

I don't think I see how being under the influence of alcohol makes it any more ethical to "take advantage" of a girl that's been drinking ya know? lol

But I see how your friends might see it that way and give you a hard time (friends that know you one way typically don't like it went you make a semi-radical change to improve your life in a way that they aren't). Even if they're otherwise cool ppl with their lives together, people just don't take well to culture changes within social circles.

Idk how exactly I'd respond to that challenge. I suppose I'd probably just retort back with "ah dude you saw that girl she wasn't even halfway tipsy, she knew what time it was" or "hmmm... she knew I was sober and she just thought I was smarter than everyone else" (assuming she knew you were sober).

Lastly, I just decided I'm not telling anyone else I'm going sober because I've seen a polarizing effect from it. Some guys get insecure about their own drinking and some are just all, "why the fuck not?". I even had a bumble chick ghost me when I told her I was getting sober. She asked if I drank alot before and I explained a few reasons --> radio silence.

Did you tell people you were going sober, or just not bring it up? I gave advice to Sweet Uncle C on the matter, but if you have anything worth saying on that I'd love to hear it.

Lol weird about that bumble chick. Guess she was looking to for a serious party boy lol.

So when I first started nightgame I had no friends and just went out solo so I had no one to give me shit. When I moved to Orlando and made friends everyone knew me as a guy that didn't drink (which they'd be skeptical at first but warm up and forget about it once we went out and I made sure to bring the energy and was super fun to be around). So people knew ahead time or if they didn't they'd find out when I'd decline a drink.

I would however tell girls I'd meet that I was sober if it came up in conversation. My experience has 95% of the time been that girls attracted to me would think its really cool, become very intrigued as to why, OR just not believe that I had the confidence to do that. Some girls would think its weird but then I'd just make them laugh and have fun with them and they'd forget and not care. It also lessened my resistance to pulling (girl's like "I can't go home with you you've been drinking".. Nope I'm sober I'm the safest ride you can go home with). In other words I'd milk it to build intrigue and show my byronic traits and build attraction.

But ya in your case might be better off just keeping it to yourself. Ordering your own drinks (don't forget a lime). And bringing/matching the fun energy so no one suspects anything. If it comes up just be like "ya I've gotta cut back a bit man, I might grab something in a bit when we get to the bar. Anyway who you guys got your money on for Super Bowl this year? Saints vs. Patriots anyone?"

As for bringing it up with girls you meet you can take one of two routes. The one I used above to build intrigue + coolness. OR (and this is what my wingman would do when we pimped hard in Orlando) you can frame it like SHE's the weird one and just flip the script. Lol the convo would go like:
Girl: What are u drinking?
Wing: Soda and lime
Girl: Wait your not drinking?!
Wing: What? I don't drink that shit. My life's already dope what do I need some foul tasting drink to feel good in life?
Girl: Thats weird! You can't just go to a bar and not drink!
Wing: Look at you a beautiful smart girl like yourself just drinking cause everyone is. You've been misguided and undecided for far too long, you need some management baby. Its a good thing you met me, roll with a guy like me and I can take you to the end of the rainbow and back. Me and you against the world baby.
Girl: Hahaha your sexy. I want to see the end of the rainbow!
(even though my wing actually did drink quite a bit but he'd go out sober with me)

Anyway man I hope that helps and gives you some ideas. Definitely a bit harder to transition from drinking to not drinking and I don't have a bunch of experience with that social pressure but I think your current line of thinking with just not letting anyone know your not drinking and brushing off any challenges with a "it aint a big deal don't get your panties in a wad about decisions for my life that don't affect you" type of attitude should do ya just fine.

Cheers man,
-Rob

 

[silenceinthesnow]

Hey guys,

I've been hitting the bar scene sober for a few years now, and have encountered the issues that Hue has asked about so thought I might be able to contribute through my experiences. It's somewhat a moral point of mine not just because of the #metoo culture that we live in now but as Hue pointed out "I'm not interested in fucking drunk chicks - that doesn't even sound like fun" but due to my work it could have huge repercussions on my careers. Due to this I'm definitely too much on the side of caution and it's something I've been debating with myself lately.
Mostly I fly solo at bars now due to work or other commitments but I've had the whole "taking a victim" thing said from my friends or their friends; which is why I'm very cautious over how drunk they are and if I feel they're too drunk I won't even contemplate it.

In this situation I know it's a sin of night game but I'll arrange to meet them another time and take their number, this stops them and their friends from worrying about anything and it also places you in a very confident position because you're so certain of yourself that you will have another opportunity. Sometimes you lose out here and when they've sobered up they think oh god or don't even remember half the night (I usually call bull shit on this excuse). You've missed out on a girl, but if she honestly can't remember you the next day you've dodged a bullet.
If they're not too drunk and you can brush it off with that girl was barely tipsy, she knew exactly what she was doing its perfectly fine. If they fall over their own feet, then you have a problem. I have walked away from girls that were begging for sex because I deemed them to drunk and being the sober guy that drove them home... if they have second thoughts the next day you won't have a leg to stand on. Unfortunately that's the culture that we're in where the guys are responsible for a drunk girls actions yet they scream for independence and equality...The current mentality is that girls can use drink as an excuse for their actions where guys are still responsible and liable for their actions even if they're drunk....(In a local club to me they even have posters up in the 'gents' to remind us that we're responsible..yeah)

The narrative of a sober guy at the bar does scream creepy to a lot of people for this reason and I've also lost out on a few girls that simply walk away when they realise I'm sober like Hues girl on Bumble; so I won't advertise that I'm not drinking. If they ask or it comes up I won't lie and will openly admit I'm not drinking and I find this can build intrigue and as Mr Rob suggested you can flip the script on this. It's a mixed response some people really don't mind or find it interesting and other people go into auto rejection possibly assuming you're there purely to take advantage.

Sometimes you can't avoid the social situations and I'm super cautious as not to risk my careers for it. Your friends will only be joking about the 'victim' comments and they will literally be insecure that they weren't able to do it sober or drunk. As long as your confident in the decision you make they will respect that unless they honestly thought the girl was way too drunk. This however is a matter of opinion. Always use your judgement because it's your actions that will cause reactions. If the girl knows what she's got herself involved with its plain sailing.

An added note to going out sober, a magicians favourite audience is a drunk one. You should never be to drunk regardless but when you're in total control of your actions you have a lot more control over every situation and every frame. So go out and work your magic!

SilenceintheSnow

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Dudes!

Have kept an eye on this thread with recently startin to go sober maself yah?? A found that ya right it is just getting out of ya head an being in the vibe an being comfortable being able to escalate aggressively with a girl when ya sober yah?

A have currently been in a slump an thought a was over it last night, until performance anxiety stood in ma way!!!

When in the club with her a was hard as anything, when a got her out the club a was still hard an ready to go. I got her to ma car an managed to get over LMR of me not drinking. Then it happens

She asks if A wanna get a pregnant to which a say a have protection an we proceed but this moment of logic broke me an a went soft!!

There were a lot of other factors yah?? maybe it was cause she was drunk an it was ma brains way of saying whoahh! wait!! yah?? It just totally freaked me out when she said a few times Am Drunk!!

Maybe this wasnt ma issue, it was ma first ONS, first time in a car, her friends kept callin her phone to see if she was alright which she ignored but it played on ma mind!!! yah?? Either way a struggled to get it up, when a did it didnt keep up, a struggled to get it in, when a finally did yah?? it went down immidiately....SO FUCKING FRUSTRATING!!

If any of ya have had experience of ya dick not wanting to play when ya sober an she isnt ad love to know how to overcome stage fright!!! Theres so many things here yah this may not be what ma issue is but if it is its just a warning to ya guys whos starting to go sober!! Yah?? Have posted about this in a thread bout ma slump and performance anxiety so dont mean to hijack this thread!! Feel free to check out ma thread for more details cause A need some serious help dudes!! or maybe its nothing? A dunno!!

 

[Mr.Rob]

@fluxcapacitor - Zen. Relax braddah Probably best to get the hang of sober sexcalation at home with no pressure.

 

[Fluxcapacitor]

Mr Rob Dude!

A thought a did! with ma ex she'd drink even when a was sober and we'd go back to hers or one of her friends yah and it always worked. Took no effort getting it up except for the first time but a managed to clear ma head an get through that one. This one a had no chance yah?!?! Though with her she was consistent so a had no worries if it took all night so be it but not for a ONS a kinda have to perform!

Unless ya mean literally forget the car an go back to ma place an then a have to worry bout ma family dude. Logistics aint great for me yah?

A dont have a lot of experience with sex an her being drunk might not even be the root cause of this there was a lot of other stuff involved. Guess am trying to run before a can walk yah? But have never been able to escalate that quickly before, the car didnt give much space and a was desperate to perform and not to disapoint this girl or maself! Pressure lv 1000!!!

 

[Hue]

Rob,

So the girls you hook up with (assuming your cool and give them a good time of course) won't think your a creep (both of those girls knew I was sober when I met them btw). Its everyone else! The girls friends and your friends.

I feel that.

Actually, I've always felt that other people's opinions, comments, and ANYTHING is usually just a hindrance on the relationship with you and your girl. The dark side of that idea is some girls get sucked into malicious and controlling guys' frames through that dynamic (closing outside opinions of the relationship out), and the light, romantic side is more of a "let's run away from the world" thing. Had that with one of my first girls in high school pretty strongly...

With booze, I think you're right given the opportunity to treat the garden of the relationship the next morning / weeks after the initial seduction.

I don't think I see how being under the influence of alcohol makes it any more ethical to "take advantage" of a girl that's been drinking ya know? lol

But I see how your friends might see it that way and give you a hard time (friends that know you one way typically don't like it went you make a semi-radical change to improve your life in a way that they aren't). Even if they're otherwise cool ppl with their lives together, people just don't take well to culture changes within social circles.

Idk how exactly I'd respond to that challenge. I suppose I'd probably just retort back with "ah dude you saw that girl she wasn't even halfway tipsy, she knew what time it was" or "hmmm... she knew I was sober and she just thought I was smarter than everyone else" (assuming she knew you were sober).

Yo, read my fucking Friday journal post.

One of my best friends (who, has been giving me the most shit about drinking) straight up told me that me not drinking makes him insecure about his own drinking.

What a load of shit some of these criticisms are dude. Same goes for getting pussy alotta the time I think. Funny how cultural expectations fits and has utility for people's emotional comfort, huh?

I would however tell girls I'd meet that I was sober if it came up in conversation. My experience has 95% of the time been that girls attracted to me would think its really cool, become very intrigued as to why, OR just not believe that I had the confidence to do that. Some girls would think its weird but then I'd just make them laugh and have fun with them and they'd forget and not care. It also lessened my resistance to pulling (girl's like "I can't go home with you you've been drinking".. Nope I'm sober I'm the safest ride you can go home with). In other words I'd milk it to build intrigue and show my byronic traits and build attraction.

Yea I had two girls telling me that "so and so isn't out because she's doing that Sober january thing... it's the dumbest thing in the world blah lbah blah" and I sat there with a devilish grin and then said guess what bitches ya boy is sober as fuck lol get me a fucking water hahaha. The hotter (and more socially aware it seemed.. I don't think she was too tipsy) one gave me a huge look of interest after I said that. Ultimately I fucked up technically after that, but still a great observation I saw there. They wouldn't have guessed at all because of the energy I was giving off. I think it's got a lot to do with the confidence you exude literally being just YOU, and not some liquid courage.

OR (and this is what my wingman would do when we pimped hard in Orlando) you can frame it like SHE's the weird one and just flip the script.

Alas, I'm a great wingman (I've gotten both my friends laid on their first approach by telling them what to do in the past 2 months) but have no one to help return the favor. Hopefully will find one this year since I'm pretty excited to get out and game for 2019.

Flipping the script is something I'll have to try. If I'm not doing it with a wingman I just don't want to come off as condescending.


Snow,

In this situation I know it's a sin of night game but I'll arrange to meet them another time and take their number, this stops them and their friends from worrying about anything and it also places you in a very confident position because you're so certain of yourself that you will have another opportunity.

I think this can only be pulled off if you get emotions and connection really high then make plans to meet in the next couple days. Logistics can fuck this in half.

Probably +90% of the numbers I've gotten from night game have been dead ends.

Unfortunately that's the culture that we're in where the guys are responsible for a drunk girls actions yet they scream for independence and equality...The current mentality is that girls can use drink as an excuse for their actions where guys are still responsible and liable for their actions even if they're drunk....(In a local club to me they even have posters up in the 'gents' to remind us that we're responsible..yeah)

Preach.

Your friends will only be joking about the 'victim' comments and they will literally be insecure that they weren't able to do it sober or drunk.

Sad but true. Some of my most "confident" friends I'm now realizing are quite insecure about not only their drinking habits but also what they're capable of when they're not drunk.

An added note to going out sober, a magicians favourite audience is a drunk one. You should never be to drunk regardless but when you're in total control of your actions you have a lot more control over every situation and every frame. So go out and work your magic!

Did my "Rogue King" shit on Thursday and had a social circle of 6-7 people EATING out of my hands. If you're good socially and know how to frame shit, you have almost too much control around some types of people lol.

Flux,

She asks if A wanna get a pregnant to which a say a have protection an we proceed but this moment of logic broke me an a went soft!!

Focus on how warm, soft, and wet her pussy is gonna be when you enter her, and how barbarically you're gonna ravish her when you're inside her. Focus on sensations, not thoughts, when you're about to fuck.

A dont have a lot of experience with sex an her being drunk might not even be the root cause of this there was a lot of other stuff involved. Guess am trying to run before a can walk yah? But have never been able to escalate that quickly before, the car didnt give much space and a was desperate to perform and not to disapoint this girl or maself! Pressure lv 1000!!!

I've noticed that when I'm eating the right foods, exercising, sleeping well, and meditating, I have no performance anxiety at all. I used to actually get it really bad with high quality girls (THE WORST TIME TO GET IT) and as I result I couldn't fuck them properly. Meditation helps with the anxiety and staying in the present, and everything else helps lower stress, increase mood, and increase proper physiology so that your cock is nice and filled with juice to bury her pussy with.



Loving the discussion guys! This has been a difficult but valuable experience for me! I've probably given up 2 lays already from being sober because I haven't gotten over the mental obstacles from it yet, but I can honestly say I'm feeling sharper, clearer, and more motivated than I was 2 weeks ago, and I'm glad I'm doing this.

Hue

 

[radeng]

Hue,

Glad you made this post man. This has been a big challenge I've faced in game this year, and although I am not doing sober january, I've made a HUGE push the past year to curb my drinking to a minimum and its came with big changes and realizations in game for me and also a realization that drinking a little alchohol is OK. A big push for me is that now at 31, hangovers are debilitating as shit and I just don't have the time to be hungover anymore. But I've pretty much got it down so I haven't had a hangover in months and am at a happy drinking with a few rules.

but first some things I've noticed this year:
1) You'll almost never be able to be as high energy or aggressive sober as you can be drunk.
2) Your standards will be higher sober, which is a double edged sword. You will fuck hotter girls, but you'll pass up chances to get laid with girls you probably should take, ultimately less lays.
3) Because of 1 and 2 I pull a lot less sober.
4) Energy is a lot more limited when sober. I have a solid 2 hours of being really high energy sober. If I go out early (9-10pm ish), by closing time I'm just not on the same level as all the drunk girls, and find it very difficult. If I go out later, I can keep up until closing time, but then I lose all chances to get solid numbers for dates the following week (I have a very good number to date ratio for numbers I get between 9-11pm... after those hours its a crapshoot and most often flakey numbers).
5) Peoples breath smell like shit when they drink. This is virtually unnoticeable when you've had one or two drinks, but totally sober, even the hottest girls seem way grosser with whiskey breath. May not be a big deal for everyone, but this has been an annoying struggle for me when I smell alcohol breath lol. I carry gum now and offer it to chicks before I kiss them when I'm sober haha.
6) being sober and alone has been a big challenge. Alone and drinking, I can nearly always make something happen. Sober and with friends I can make something happen. Sober and alone, I find it very hard to get out of my head AND/OR im way more shook by a couple of rejections.
7) I find it generally better to not talk about sobriety. Some girls will be more attracted to you for it, but I've found more girls get turned off by it. I always keep a club soda with lime in it, and I tip bartenders $1 for each one. Bartenders like you, you look normal and avoid questioning, and you stay hydrated, gives you something to do with your hands.

To combat some of the above issues, I kind of make not drinking a game and give myself little challenges to limit my drinking. Because at the end of the day, having a few drinks was never a problem for me, it was that I always take it out of control and that 1 drink turns into 6 really fast on a night out and I've blown 100 dollars and lost the whole next day, which isn't reasonable for my life or my wallet.


Challenges:
1) As a rule, whether drinking hard or not, ALWAYS make your first 3 approaches while sober at the beginning of the night.

2) Don't drink until 1AM
- I like this one a lot because it really fixes the energy problem I have when sober, and I don't have to drink so much caffeine that I can't sleep all night.
- typical strategy is get out at 9, get some solid numbers for the next week.
- drink club soda with lime all night
- at one, find a girl to take a shot with and get one drink maybe take one more shot before closing time.
- this one is kind of the best of all worlds for me.

3) Sober Friday Drunk Saturday.
- usually on Saturday won't start drinking until as late as possible so I usually combine this with Game 1.
- also because my social momentum is up from Friday, and I got to sleep in, this one is nice

4) Have a nightly focus
- If going totally sober, knowing I have 2 good hours in me. I will go out with the exact intention of either:
getting numbers, sober sex talk, pulling, dancing aggressively and consider the night a win if I hit the goals. This is a good practice for anyone who wants to improve something whether drinking or not, but when I drink I tend to just do what I feel, but I will burn out faster sober if I don't have a focus.

And at the end of the day, I've been drinking since I was 14, and have rarely been too out of control with it to where it affected my life too negatively ( except maybe for a while in college ) and I just genuinely like drinking. I don't think there's anything wrong with that and I don't think there is anything special or a higher morality to being sober. Getting drunk can really help me relieve stress at times. So I found when I went totally sober for 2 months this year, I just wasn't as happy or having as much fun. Drinking is a big part of many peoples life, and when kept in check I think it can be beneficial in one's life. But like anything else, you should practice lots of self control around it.

Anyway, great answers from everyone one here about this topic!

Cheers,
radeng

 

[Mr.Rob]

5) Peoples breath smell like shit when they drink. This is virtually unnoticeable when you've had one or two drinks, but totally sober, even the hottest girls seem way grosser with whiskey breath. May not be a big deal for everyone, but this has been an annoying struggle for me when I smell alcohol breath lol. I carry gum now and offer it to chicks before I kiss them when I'm sober haha.

Dude omg yes and then they'll go buy one of those street vendor footlong chilli cheese dogs... I picked up a real cute blonde on New Years a while back who had just bought 2 of them janks and was offered one to me. When we got home I put a big dollop of toothpaste on my finger and forcibly washed her mouth out haha :'D

 

[Hue]

Going sober again for a month or two, bump.