Socializing Social circle: How would you handle this situation and escalate with the girl?

[johndoe]

Hi folks,

I'm a gamer guy who recently got out of a long-term relationship. Ever since then, I've been having dating and flinging and just catching up on what I missed out on in my youth. When I was younger, I never really played the dating game because I was just really obsessed with games and academics, so I never really knew how to play the game until I started reading GirlsChase.

Anyway, long story short, I met and hooked up with a girl named Sally a few months ago. Although we started off the way we did, we quickly realised that we were more compatible platonically than romantically, so we stopped hooking up. Sally has some really hot girl friends in her social circle, one of whom (let's call her Jessica) she introduced to me after I commented on how hot she looked. Sally tells me that I'm "probably not Jessica's type", but because I have a way with people, it didn't really phase me. I thought that if I met Jessica through Sally, I'd have a pretty good chance of charming her.

So Sally sets up this gathering with a small group of her friends and asks me along. Through that gathering, I met Jessica and the group of us had a pretty good time. After the gathering, Jessica sets up a group chat and adds me, saying that it's for John (i.e. me) to update them on one of my upcoming dates that I was pretty excited about. Sally quickly tells me (in private) that Jessica seems to have a shine for me. I didn't PM Jessica afterwards though, as I wasn't interested in anything other than a potential fling, and I thought I could just escalate things with her when the group met again.

A few days ago though, Sally and I went out with some of my other friends. This got Jessica commenting (albeit in a humourous tone) in our group chat asking if me and Sally were shagging (we weren't, but she knew we started off as flings). When we didn't reply, Jessica texted Sally asking the same thing. The day after this, Jessica seemed like she was in auto-rejection, as she made other plans for when the group of us was meeting, and I'm left wondering what I can do about this. If I don't get to see her, then I can't escalate!

I wanted to get you guys' views on a few things:

1. After Jessica created the group chat, would you have slid into her PM to escalate things? Why or why not? I personally didn't because I don't like chatting a whole lot, and I didn't think I needed to talk to her to escalate things.
2. How will you handle the situation with Jessica where she auto-rejects? All I can think of is engaging her more in text to increase her perceived attainability of me.

 

[Fuck This]

I 'd contact J directly outside of the group.

"J, You seem awful interested in my personal life. Anything you wanted to ask me? "

J: "Did you and S shag?"

JOHN DOE : " Listen I keep my personal relationships private. I don't kiss and tell. I consider S a good friend and we want each other to be happy in our own lives. That goes for you and I too. "

 

[johndoe]

I 'd contact J directly outside of the group.

"J, You seem awful interested in my personal life. Anything you wanted to ask me? "

J: "Did you and S shag?"

JOHN DOE : " Listen I keep my personal relationships private. I don't kiss and tell. I consider S a good friend and we want each other to be happy in our own lives. That goes for you and I too. "

I like the way you open the conversation with "Anything you wanted to ask me?". I started my text off a little differently because S has been talking to J about it, but you gave me the inspiration to start things off, so thanks!

 

[Glow]

Along how @Fuck This outlines - you wanna be a lil more secret society with girls in SCs. You game the group with a tactical orientation on the ones you like and girls start swerving towards you. at the same time you wanna make things very covert in relation to other girls to help them not give up etc.

= Dont go too hard for one girl
= Game the group not the girl
= Use your main friend here as access to a string of girls and manage the girls patiently.
= Know of secret society frames and use those eg what fuckthis introduces
= Be covert and smooth w girls = tune some things down to avoid reactions like this eg too girlfriend boyfriend type displays with girls towards the others in insta face etc. Girls have vivid imaginations.

For the latter I like to extract them as much as possible so that displays are not done within the SC even if girls get hints of whats going on.

In general if they feel youre super discrete and cool they will feel safer doing things with you and exploring things ignoring youre w other girls in the circle too. when you protect others like fuc this outlines they will know that you can protect their reputation too.

One key tactic in SC is to wait for the girl to be sticky with you before you strike more directly. Means she react to you with a certain clarity of interest and seek you out in her own way. Based on how youve more neutrally worked her. SC game style. just note here that shes onto you, no need to address it necessarily. just use the intel as a sign and nothing more. Strike next time she will be there. Or address it along fuckthis example to give indication there could be something while covertly framing the other. Loads of tactical options. I just write this part cause youre reactive to the situation. Be more coolheaded.

note that being covert and secret society like is a SKILL to train. Using a social circle as training grounds is really good to develop field-strong consistency in this area.

 

[johndoe]

Along how @Fuck This outlines - you wanna be a lil more secret society with girls in SCs. You game the group with a tactical orientation on the ones you like and girls start swerving towards you. at the same time you wanna make things very covert in relation to other girls to help them not give up etc.

= Dont go too hard for one girl
= Game the group not the girl
= Use your main friend here as access to a string of girls and manage the girls patiently.
= Know of secret society frames and use those eg what fuckthis introduces
= Be covert and smooth w girls = tune some things down to avoid reactions like this eg too girlfriend boyfriend type displays with girls towards the others in insta face etc. Girls have vivid imaginations.

For the latter I like to extract them as much as possible so that displays are not done within the SC even if girls get hints of whats going on.

In general if they feel youre super discrete and cool they will feel safer doing things with you and exploring things ignoring youre w other girls in the circle too. when you protect others like fuc this outlines they will know that you can protect their reputation too.

One key tactic in SC is to wait for the girl to be sticky with you before you strike more directly. Means she react to you with a certain clarity of interest and seek you out in her own way. Based on how youve more neutrally worked her. SC game style. just note here that shes onto you, no need to address it necessarily. just use the intel as a sign and nothing more. Strike next time she will be there. Or address it along fuckthis example to give indication there could be something while covertly framing the other. Loads of tactical options. I just write this part cause youre reactive to the situation. Be more coolheaded.

note that being covert and secret society like is a SKILL to train. Using a social circle as training grounds is really good to develop field-strong consistency in this area.

Thanks. These are great points. I think I've kind of messed up by teasing her about her interest in my within the group, and I've gone somewhat hard on her. She's quite sharp with her wit so I didn't hold back with mine too.

I'm going to soften up and play it more low-key. See how things go. It sucks to see these things only in hindsight, because I feel like a bull in a china shop. But hey, at least I learnt something.