- Joined
- Dec 1, 2013
- Messages
- 38
I meet many women through the local sailing club (+1000 members), sometimes social circle and sometimes peripheral (friends of friends). I was at a bar celebrating an acquaintance's birthday, I was approached by a pretty blonde co-ed I'll call Guenevere. I'd been introduced to her about 3 weeks prior, but at that time my friend (call him Lancelot) tells me he's trying to make a move on her. (He's totally overproviding & positioning himself as boyfriend material.) I left her alone at the time. But now, despite Lancelot is still orbiting her, I decided to make a play because I read some interest from Guenevere. I started with some banter and topics of common interest, and I got a lot of strong eye contact with her. I have pretty good fundamentals though (I'm tall, white, often described as 'cute') and I'm beginning to dress well and use hair products and sexy facial hair. I managed to do a bit of casual/accidental kino, but I wish I had launched some sexual tension faster... that's one place I'm struggling right now.
Lancelot was wearing a suit & vest (he read part of the playbook but he doesn't capitalize on it, he's not sexual with women at all). I commented to Guenevere in a round-about way that Lancelot was probably overdressed, and she more or less agreed. He also took the lead in organizing a group (including Guenevere and I) to participate in a birthday photo-scavenger-hunt. Good leadership demonstration on his part, but it also freed me up to game her while he was busy coordinating the logistics.
On the way to the first bar in our scavenger hunt, I walked with my hand on Guenevere's lower back for a bit, with no resistance. At the bar, she asked me to help finish her drink, and I accused her of trying to get me drunk so she could take advantage of me (in a humorous tone) and she of course protested, but laughing. (I'm only recounting highlights here, this took place last week.) I got some compliance by getting her to take a picture with a guy with a creepy mustache (one of the items on the scavenger hunt). I don't know if I rewarded her for it though.... On the way to the next bar, she said she would rake leaves at her parent's house for Thanksgiving, and I intentionally misheard her as saying "r8pe leaves," and said "Wow, you are into some interesting things..." with a wry smile. She was a bit flustered but I don't think she was offended. Later I brought this up again: "so, are you going to deal with me like those leaves!?"
At a third bar, I settled in a cozy booth, and she sat next to me, and I put my arm casually behind her, no resistance. Meanwhile, Lancelot had been buying shots for everyone at each bar (conspicuous consumption that I couldn't afford to match, but it didn't help him much in the end either). I didn't really focus too much on her, though, just kinda took her for granted and encouraged conversation between us and the others in the group. Somewhere along the way I got her number, but we didn't arrange a date.
On the way to the final bar, she talked a bit to Lancelot, and then came back to me and said "He just told me 'You are dead to me.' What do you think of that?" I said something philosophical like "That's unfortunate", because I didn't want to put myself in direct competition with Lancelot. I'm not really sure what she was aiming for here: trying to demonstrate that she wasn't attached to him, or trying to put me off by implying I was ruining their friendship, or just trying to make herself feel better in the event that she and I got together (it would then be 'my fault' if Lancelot was upset, b/c I knew what I was doing).
I got her a drink, and then I just turned around and impulsively kissed her, with my hand behind her head (not quite a manhandle kiss). (I realize now that this is where my game started to fall apart. See Chase's article on kissing in public.) She enjoyed it, and so did I, and I let it last until she broke it off, but not before there was a little tongue involved. We looked at each other, and she asked after a bit, "What was that for?" I was thrown for a loop, and I tried to recover by leaning in and whispering in a simmering tone "Because you're really sexy and I like it." Ugh! Why did I say that! That put ME chasing HER, and it was not subtle at all.
We started dancing dirty and intermittently making out. She was leading me in the dancing, and deciding when we kissed and when we stopped. I had gotten her to put my watch on her wrist (something I like to do with girls, a mix of compliance testing and marking my territory I guess). There was a logistics snafu involving our coats being lost, and when it was done, I saw Lancelot was leaving with her to walk her home. I started to go with them, but then I thought, "I'm being ridiculous, he's still not going to make a move, and I really don't want to keep chasing AND be directly competing." So I let him walk her home, and I stayed at the bar. He came back empty-handed a few minutes later.
The next day, I realized she still had my watch on when she left. She texted me wanting to meet 'quickly,' I eventually settled for meeting her at the coffee shop where she was studying. We talked for 1/2 hr, but I didn't get any chase framing or sexual tension going. She said she'd see me around after her trip home, so I didn't feel like she was receptive to setting up a date right then. (I should have tried, in retrospect.)
Unexpectedly, she showed up at a party last night (~ 1 week later). I'd been hoping to try and arrange a date via text once she was back. I decided I needed to counteract all the chasing I was doing while we danced, so I didn't talk to her too much at the party. I found myself feeling very jealous when she started talking to a new guy at the party.
I'm too invested now! Anyway, she got this guy to agree to drive her home, but then she kept him waiting a long time to leave and he clearly got bored. At least I am not falling into that trap, she evidently loves keeping orbiters around.
I think my next move needs to be "press her for a date, via text." I don't want to keep running into her until I get stuck in the friend zone. I may be past my window of opportunity, but I need to find out, one way or the other.
Lancelot was wearing a suit & vest (he read part of the playbook but he doesn't capitalize on it, he's not sexual with women at all). I commented to Guenevere in a round-about way that Lancelot was probably overdressed, and she more or less agreed. He also took the lead in organizing a group (including Guenevere and I) to participate in a birthday photo-scavenger-hunt. Good leadership demonstration on his part, but it also freed me up to game her while he was busy coordinating the logistics.
On the way to the first bar in our scavenger hunt, I walked with my hand on Guenevere's lower back for a bit, with no resistance. At the bar, she asked me to help finish her drink, and I accused her of trying to get me drunk so she could take advantage of me (in a humorous tone) and she of course protested, but laughing. (I'm only recounting highlights here, this took place last week.) I got some compliance by getting her to take a picture with a guy with a creepy mustache (one of the items on the scavenger hunt). I don't know if I rewarded her for it though.... On the way to the next bar, she said she would rake leaves at her parent's house for Thanksgiving, and I intentionally misheard her as saying "r8pe leaves," and said "Wow, you are into some interesting things..." with a wry smile. She was a bit flustered but I don't think she was offended. Later I brought this up again: "so, are you going to deal with me like those leaves!?"
At a third bar, I settled in a cozy booth, and she sat next to me, and I put my arm casually behind her, no resistance. Meanwhile, Lancelot had been buying shots for everyone at each bar (conspicuous consumption that I couldn't afford to match, but it didn't help him much in the end either). I didn't really focus too much on her, though, just kinda took her for granted and encouraged conversation between us and the others in the group. Somewhere along the way I got her number, but we didn't arrange a date.
On the way to the final bar, she talked a bit to Lancelot, and then came back to me and said "He just told me 'You are dead to me.' What do you think of that?" I said something philosophical like "That's unfortunate", because I didn't want to put myself in direct competition with Lancelot. I'm not really sure what she was aiming for here: trying to demonstrate that she wasn't attached to him, or trying to put me off by implying I was ruining their friendship, or just trying to make herself feel better in the event that she and I got together (it would then be 'my fault' if Lancelot was upset, b/c I knew what I was doing).
I got her a drink, and then I just turned around and impulsively kissed her, with my hand behind her head (not quite a manhandle kiss). (I realize now that this is where my game started to fall apart. See Chase's article on kissing in public.) She enjoyed it, and so did I, and I let it last until she broke it off, but not before there was a little tongue involved. We looked at each other, and she asked after a bit, "What was that for?" I was thrown for a loop, and I tried to recover by leaning in and whispering in a simmering tone "Because you're really sexy and I like it." Ugh! Why did I say that! That put ME chasing HER, and it was not subtle at all.
We started dancing dirty and intermittently making out. She was leading me in the dancing, and deciding when we kissed and when we stopped. I had gotten her to put my watch on her wrist (something I like to do with girls, a mix of compliance testing and marking my territory I guess). There was a logistics snafu involving our coats being lost, and when it was done, I saw Lancelot was leaving with her to walk her home. I started to go with them, but then I thought, "I'm being ridiculous, he's still not going to make a move, and I really don't want to keep chasing AND be directly competing." So I let him walk her home, and I stayed at the bar. He came back empty-handed a few minutes later.
The next day, I realized she still had my watch on when she left. She texted me wanting to meet 'quickly,' I eventually settled for meeting her at the coffee shop where she was studying. We talked for 1/2 hr, but I didn't get any chase framing or sexual tension going. She said she'd see me around after her trip home, so I didn't feel like she was receptive to setting up a date right then. (I should have tried, in retrospect.)
Unexpectedly, she showed up at a party last night (~ 1 week later). I'd been hoping to try and arrange a date via text once she was back. I decided I needed to counteract all the chasing I was doing while we danced, so I didn't talk to her too much at the party. I found myself feeling very jealous when she started talking to a new guy at the party.
I'm too invested now! Anyway, she got this guy to agree to drive her home, but then she kept him waiting a long time to leave and he clearly got bored. At least I am not falling into that trap, she evidently loves keeping orbiters around. I think my next move needs to be "press her for a date, via text." I don't want to keep running into her until I get stuck in the friend zone. I may be past my window of opportunity, but I need to find out, one way or the other.
