I have similar problem. Trying to fix it myself, so I'll put my speculations here.
- Similarity: Let's say for example, I met a guy on bus today. He was playing phone game. I had no idea so I just asked and got to know him a bit. But after a while it was clear that I was clueless about phone game.
I guessed that either I have to get it or if I'm not at least be curious.
- Shared goal: Last time I went to Mexico, the guys hung out with me because we planned to go clubbing and picking up together.
Without shared goal, it's gonna be difficult.
- "What can you do for them" / "What can they do to you": Sounds materialistic but might be true. I'm picking up girls for the pussy. What can I do to the girl?
For guys, I'm just socially curious. However I'm looking for "hidden value" and what I can offer.
EDIT: Remove the lay count part. Currently I'm removing bragging behavior in real life, so I applied it here, too.
