Social situation problem

[Popeye123]

For my introduction: -
I am 6ft tall, brown guy, very skinny, dress well (got a fashion designer’s advice on dressing edgy). I have a comfortable 9-5 office job, do cycling and hiking as a hobby. I hold eye contact, so not mich problem there.

The problem :-
1) I find it extremely difficult to make friends.
2) Get ZERO interest from women even in social circle (most women aren’t interested in talking to me).

3) I have tried all the tips on conversation like deep diving, complimenting, teasing but most people don’t even bother catching up again whereas I see people asking boring and generic questions doing better than me socially.

As for my general vibe I tend to avoid exaggerated facial expressions and basically stick with a poker face or a slight smile.


I have heard many seducers here started off socially clueless and now are much better than the average people at socialising.

I read even coaches like @Chase started of from a bad spot socially (although chase had girls showing a lot of interest in high school so it is a much better position than mine).

if you have any tips to improve my situation or any subtle or obvious social mistakes you learnt to avoid, Do share.

I highly appreciate your time

 

[Warped Mindless]

Some general tips:

Work on your fundamentals.

You may be dressing well, or you may just look gay. Most male fashion advice makes you look gay, not like a sexy bad boy. Post up some pics (blur your face if you want) so we can give you feedback.

Also work on your posture, walk, eye contact, voice tone, etc.

Hit the gym, eat some meat, and bulk up! Google “GSLP lifting program” and follow that.

I feel like from what you said you are trying to hard to not show emotion. People dont like talking to robots! Show some emotion! You can do the whole ‘stoic bad boy’ thing when you get more experience.

If your social skills suck there are thousands of books on social skills out there. Read one and then find a hobby that forces you to interact with people. Implement what you have learned.

Besides that… go approach women! Idnetify sticking points and come back to the blog and look up articles that addresses those points.

Start with “basic guy game” and keep doing that until you get comfortable. Walk before you try to run and implement all these ore advanced seduction techniques.

Basic guy game:

Approach -> tell her you “noticed her energy” and want to say hi -> exchange names -> small talk about anything for a few minutes -> go for her number.

Nothing fancy or hard but you will likely still find it difficult at first. Until you become comfortable with that there is no reason to add more advanced stuff.

 

[Brazerprime]

I personally don't find Chase's tips helpful for "making friends"

 

[Derek da man]

people asking boring and generic questions doing better than me socially.

Unfortunately you need to come down to their level and be comfortable asking these types of things so that people have a comfort factor with you and then they feel they can start to relate to you.

I tend to avoid exaggerated facial expressions and basically stick with a poker face or a slight smile

This may be your sticking point, you may feel you give a slight smile but most people are probably not getting it, try interjecting more enthusiasm when responding with your deep dive questions so that you show interest and they can see you're enjoying their conversation. You don't need to go overboard and show masses of enthusiasm but try ramping it up a couple of notches.

I used to struggle to find the boring and generic questions interesting and had no enthusiasm too, but, you need to show some and deep dive some of their responses so they feel a connection and want to talk more to you.

dress well (got a fashion designer’s advice on dressing edgy).

This may also be contributing. For work I used to dress in a suit and tie so become very comfortable wearing trousers and shirt without a tie for casual wear but I used to find similar to you, in that girls didn't come talk to me much. Once I dressed much more casual, denim trousers and collarless tee shirt with a casual collared fashion shirt over with it untucked I started getting a completely different response from girls who were loads warmer towards me. I added a simple neck chain with a pendant and several girls came over just to ask about it. I'm guessing the fact that I was, by their standard, so smartly dressed make them feel unrelateable and out of their league. Once they felt I was relatable they used the neck chain as a means of opening the conversation. Both simple things but changed my accessibility massively.

Hope these help.