Some Beginner Impressions

[Lucifer]

So I’m about a month and half into working on my pickup skills. I remember thinking the other day while doing day game: “man, what a weird and fucked up thing to be practicing: walking around and trying to pick up women! It’s so unusual, haha, unlike ANY other skill I’ve ever undertaken to try and practice!” But it’s hella fun! I’m at around 30 approaches since “the enlightenment” (discovering GC), gotten 3 numbers, had 4 girls take my number, and 1 lay.

I find pubs & parties to be the easies places to approach women, but I’m focusing more on day game to start. Places I’ve experimented with:

- Malls: My preferred venue so far. High concentration of people, high turnover, easy to stay anonymous. Easy to approach any girl who is sitting still or standing (in food court, standing in hallway, or a girl who is working).

- Coffee Shops: Great place to approach women as long as I get the timing right, such as waiting in line in front or or behind a girl, waiting for the order/food in the same area, or leaving the place around the same time and meeting/approaching by the doors.

- Public Transit: This one is terrifying. I recently went on the subway omw downtown to do some business, saw lots of gorgeous girls, but just could not approach. They were in large groups of people all getting off the train, all in a hurry, and it seemed impossible. The thought of approaching while on the train/bus is equally terrifying, since the whole audience of passengers would be witnessing my noob pickup attempt, and would put more pressure on the girl. Not to mention the awkwardness of sitting there after a after a failed attempt. A girl alone, standing and waiting at the terminal, that I think I can pull off though.



Several improvements & challenges I’m noticing.

IMPROVEMENTS:
- Approach anxiety disappearing. Now that my heart isn’t pounding and brain not hesitating, I can actually focus on being smooth, calm, confident, on holding better conversation, eye contact, body language, etc….

- Extremely easy to approach any girl who is working. I don’t know if this would even qualify as a “cold” approach since you’re initially coming off as a customer before transitioning to flirting/asking for number. I’ve gotten a few numbers from these situations and feel it’s the easiest approach by far.

- A feeling of abundance mentality & confidence. Even though I don’t actually have an abundance of women, I simply feel confident that now I have better skills with women and can always find someone else, and therefore less needy or worried about screwing things up with any particular girl.


CHALLENGES:
- Approaching a girl who is walking directly towards me. This one I still find scary. From the moment you see her, you have only about 5 seconds to act, and I just feel like I’m gonna come across as desparate / weird/ someone who is blatantly walking around picking up any girl. But I’m determined to work on this.

- My niche appearance: long hair & mostly black / metal clothing. This look seems to works GREAT with metalhead/goth/punk/hippy girls, but not so well with more mainstream girls. I’ve been steadily improving my fundamentals and wearing better fitting and more coordinated clothes and I’ve already seen a better response from girls outside my niche.

- Getting into a state of mind to go out to meet women. It seems very easy when you actually have somewhere to go and something to do, and just tell yourself: if I run into any cutie, I’ll go for it. But leaving the house specifically to just go and meet new women seems to add more pressure and makes me slightly nervous, I feel like it’ll seem almost too obvious that I’m there to just pick up.


I’m curious if some others here have experienced similar thoughts and challenges while still new, and if you found any useful pointers on how to break through.

 

[Bboy100]

Getting into a state of mind to go out to meet women. It seems very easy when you actually have somewhere to go and something to do, and just tell yourself: if I run into any cutie, I’ll go for it. But leaving the house specifically to just go and meet new women seems to add more pressure and makes me slightly nervous, I feel like it’ll seem almost too obvious that I’m there to just pick up.

I'd be willing to bet that since you're going out specifically to meet women, you're putting pressure on yourself to perform (i.e. approach). Whereas, when you're going somewhere else, the goal is not to approach, its to do something else. So its nbd to you whether or not you actually talk to any girls. Since your primary task is something else, you feel less pressure and therefore, less AA.

When you're out to meet women, you need a mindset change. When you go out, think to yourself "I'm out here to just hang out and have fun"...and mean it. That should be your primary goal. If you don't chat with any girls that day, that's perfectly ok. But now that you're over the initial stages of AA, I bet you will. Cause I bet you'll be pretty silly sitting at the mall by yourself not doing anything. But at the same time, you'll also feel less pressure because the goal is not to approach. The goal is to have fun (something which you can't really fail at). Try it on for size, see if it helps.

As for "leaving the house specifically to meet more women", there's this article: https://www.girlschase.com/content/will- ... pick-girls

 

[Lucifer]

Ah yeah, that totally makes sense as to why I'm feeling the pressure. I'll try the "just have a fun time" mindset and see if it helps!

I think that mindset should also make conversation easier and more natural if I do meet someone, since I won't feel like I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm only there to meet women. I like it.

That's a good article which I hadn't read yet, thanks!